# This is embarrassing, but...



## Ciscley (Jul 16, 2013)

How do you hide your intact male's balls?

All of my dogs have been neutered at a young age or prior to our adopting them (Danno), so this is a very new experience for me - the flagrant, shiny, bouncy poodle balls.










Desi was freshly shaved when we got him and had apparently not enjoyed it and was continually licking himself so that the skin on his scrotum was actually darker and the black dog version of irritated. I've been letting the hair grow back in and it's definitely helped. He doesn't lick his scrotum at all (well, maybe once a day just to prove he can) and the skin color has returned to normal... which is apparently a very pale color in contrast to his dark coat. Which means all I could see as he walked beside my husband today was this neon sign pointing at my dog's balls. 

Even Mike commented on how noticeable they are. Laugh at my ridiculous juvenile-ness over being bothered by this, but please also tell me what clips you use to disguise the intactness.

I was planning to keep his torso hair short and do a fluffy tail, TK and boots (like Audi's lovely 'do), but I'm not sure anymore. I don't want to draw even more attention back there. *Suggestions?*


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## CharismaticMillie (Jun 16, 2010)

Oh my! Those are some light colored testicles! Tiger's are black, and I keep 'em shaved. 

Maybe Desi needs a suntan?


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## Alkhe (Aug 7, 2013)

:bolt: Whoah, they're certainly.. .. well, they're definitely there! :lol:
I didn't realise they would be so pink! I don't think I've ever seen an entire male standard before.. not many standards at all round here, let alone entire ones!


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## Ciscley (Jul 16, 2013)

When I line brush his coat his skin is the typical bluish white color that I remember my previous black Spoo being. But his scrotum is the same color as the pinkish brown skin inside his ears. It's FLAGRANT to say the least.

The skin definitely seems to be getting healthier back there since he's stopped licking, it was actually a different texture originally, like orange peel almost. But the smoother they get the shinier they get! And the hair is seriously taking its sweet time about growing!


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## Ciscley (Jul 16, 2013)

CharismaticMillie said:


> Oh my! Those are some light colored testicles! Tiger's are black, and I keep 'em shaved.


Tiger's in a German trim right now, right? (Thinking of his Rally photos.) Are his black bits covered by the longer white hindquarter hair (flanks? rump? not sure poodle anatomy terms) or are you just used to seeing them?



> Maybe Desi needs a suntan?


 Future conversation with husband: "Why are you sitting on the deck with a margarita at 10AM?" "I'm just keeping Desi company while he suns his balls." 

Honestly, so long as I'm not applying any Hawaiian Tropics back there, I don't think he'd even blink at that.


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## CharismaticMillie (Jun 16, 2010)

Ciscley said:


> Tiger's in a German trim right now, right? (Thinking of his Rally photos.) Are his black bits covered by the longer white hindquarter hair (flanks? rump? not sure poodle anatomy terms) or are you just used to seeing them?


His rear is taken quite close, and I've got his testicles shaved (it just looks more tidy to me!) so they are pretty much out there!


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## CharismaticMillie (Jun 16, 2010)

Hind view


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## LEUllman (Feb 1, 2010)

Sorry, but I think I just snorted diet soda out of my nose! :laugh: This has got to be one of the funniest Poodle Forum threads ever! :congrats: :congrats: :congrats:


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## KirklandPoodle (Oct 22, 2012)

I've heard it described as a "privacy curtain" where you just don't shave that area. I keep Arthur's undercarriage trimmed shorter than his back and sides, but I let the curtain grow. The down side is that as it's longer fur you have to keep it brushed or combed regularly, so that it doesn't mat. Rather than hiding his balls, we are hiding their absence as we are getting ready for a move to an area where castration is not the norm for male dogs.

Definitely up there in the stranger realms of PF talks, yet I think it was here that I got the phrase "privacy curtain."


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## CharismaticMillie (Jun 16, 2010)

I tried the privacy curtain, and he certainly had one when he was showing in puppy trim, but T would squeal when I tried to brush out the tangles, so I just decided "forget that!" and keep them shaved now. Besides, it's tidier since I keep his rear 7 bladed anyway.


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## Ciscley (Jul 16, 2013)

CharismaticMillie said:


> Hind view


That definitely doesn't look as bad to me as Desi's "situation." Maybe black recedes better visually or Tiger's just more proportionate? 

P.S. That photo shows off his carrot tail and the shaping on his legs so nicely! Really lovely groom.



LEUllman said:


> I think I just snorted diet soda out of my nose!


  :aetsch:


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## patk (Jun 13, 2013)

well the alternative is, if you've got 'em, flaunt 'em. you could decorate them somehow - adhesive tattoos maybe? or go rolling stones (no pun intended) and paint 'em black. :ban:


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## N2Mischief (Dec 3, 2012)

:lalala::lalala::lalala:BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


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## Ciscley (Jul 16, 2013)

KirklandPoodle said:


> I've heard it described as a "privacy curtain" where you just don't shave that area. The down side is that as it's longer fur you have to keep it brushed or combed regularly, so that it doesn't mat.





CharismaticMille said:


> T would squeal when I tried to brush out the tangles


Danno was neutered at 5+ years old (rescued BYB dog) and it took a long time for his "lack" to flatten. It's still pretty wrinkly, so the groomer never took it completely short. It was always definitely longer than the #10 she did on his feet and face. I've gently combed down there in between grooms, but he's luckily never gotten matted. Still, I imagine it's going to be much more painful even to do that little amount of combing on Desi. :\



KirklandPoodle said:


> Rather than hiding his balls, we are hiding their absence as we are getting ready for a move to an area where castration is not the norm for male dogs.


 Yes, it's definitely the exact opposite here. Spay/Neuter at 6 months or earlier is like a religion.

Crap, I had not even thought about the peer pressure side of this condition. My dog is so going to be mocked at the dog park for his day-glo testicles. I am going to be the evil dog owner who is why we have a pet overpopulation issue. 

That is, if they even let him in. I have to double check what the rules are about spay/neuter. I know in Kentucky they have a limit on total # of intact animals and it costs more to register annually.


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## Ciscley (Jul 16, 2013)

N2Mischief said:


> :lalala::lalala::lalala:BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


I know, I'm so sorry. Totally odd ball topic, but it really has been bothering me since day one of getting him and it's just getting worse. 

Neutering him isn't an option, even if my sanity and prudishness really were valid reasons to do it, and I guess I was just hoping it was a common thing that better poodle people already had a solution for. Or, if no solution, acknowledging that it is at least normal and not as  as it seems to me right now.


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## Aubrey (May 18, 2013)

You could needle felt him a codpiece and hang it from his tail lol.


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## Quossum (Mar 18, 2011)

My very first Poodle many years ago was a conformation dog, and when he went into the naked-rear Conteniental clip, my dad really could not get over the unbearable, bulbous, "here we are, big and round and proud!"-ness of his balls. Nothing to be done about it, either. 

Now, Sugarfoot had a similar problem as yours: his legs are white up to his groin, and his balls were black. I have many pics of him frolicking outside which would have made nice posts or Instagrams if not for two very obvious globes doing weird and gravity-mocking things and basically drawing the eye to themselves in admiration and/or horror. I pretty much went with "privacy curtain" method of growing the hair a little bit longer from the area below his anus. It does get matted next to the balls really easily, though, so you've got to keep after the fur there. 

Now that Sugarfoot is neutered, it's a little easier to be discreet, though at this point the remaining skin hasn't receeded and it draws attention to itself in a way as well, especially with his summer buzz cut.

Maybe you could get this product in a slightly larger size to cover more:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/43110473/rear-gear-butt-covers-for-your-cat-and

Good luck!

--Q


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## ArreauStandardPoodle (Sep 1, 2009)

When I groomed professionally, some of our clients would request a "cloud cover". This was just a growth of hair behind the testicles that was neatly scissored to cover them up. As said previously, this hair needs to be kept brushed and combed to avoid further irritation.


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## PoodleRick (Mar 18, 2013)

patk said:


> well the alternative is, if you've got 'em, flaunt 'em. you could decorate them somehow - adhesive tattoos maybe? or go rolling stones (no pun intended) and paint 'em black. :ban:


Ha. We're thinking right along the same lines. you could stick these on. People won't look if they think his balls are looking back.


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## PoodleRick (Mar 18, 2013)

ArreauStandardPoodle said:


> When I groomed professionally, some of our clients would request a "cloud cover". This was just a growth of hair behind the testicles that was neatly scissored to cover them up. As said previously, this hair needs to be kept brushed and combed to avoid further irritation.


The comb over solves many guy issues.


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## ChantersMom (Aug 20, 2012)

oh my!! I'm sorry..I know this is serious but I had to laugh when I read privacy cover, cloud cover, the etsy cover and those eyes!!!


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## Tiny Poodles (Jun 20, 2013)

N2Mischief said:


> :lalala::lalala::lalala:BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


Oh, am I loving my girls and their cute little girl parts right now lol!


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## Tiny Poodles (Jun 20, 2013)

Ciscley said:


> Danno was neutered at 5+ years old (rescued BYB dog) and it took a long time for his "lack" to flatten. It's still pretty wrinkly, so the groomer never took it completely short. It was always definitely longer than the #10 she did on his feet and face. I've gently combed down there in between grooms, but he's luckily never gotten matted. Still, I imagine it's going to be much more painful even to do that little amount of combing on Desi. :\
> 
> Yes, it's definitely the exact opposite here. Spay/Neuter at 6 months or earlier is like a religion.
> 
> ...


Just tell the folks at the dog park that he is a rocking a set of neuticals - Dad paid big bucks so that he could show off his awesome balls (I purposely said Dad, because that would be a lot more believable then Mom paying for those things) lol!


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## Ciscley (Jul 16, 2013)

*I think I understand now*



Quossum said:


> Sugarfoot had a similar problem as yours: his legs are white up to his groin, and his balls were black. I have many pics of him frolicking outside which would have made nice posts or Instagrams if not for two very obvious globes doing weird and gravity-mocking things and basically drawing the eye to themselves in admiration and/or horror.


Ah, just knowing I'm not alone in my horror helps. After I saw that one photo where the sun basically had them glowing, they were all I could see in every other photo that wasn't forward on. Even the sideways photos. 



> I pretty much went with "privacy curtain" method of growing the hair a little bit longer from the area below his anus.





ArreauStandardPoodle said:


> When I groomed professionally, some of our clients would request a "cloud cover". This was just a growth of hair behind the testicles that was neatly scissored to cover them up. As said previously, this hair needs to be kept brushed and combed to avoid further irritation.


Ok, I think I misunderstood that part originally when *Kirklandpoodle* mentioned it - the hair on the buttocks below the sani trimmed area is left to grow and not the actual hair on the testicles themselves.

That relieves some of my worry about matting. That area will certainly be sensitive, but probably not much more sensitive than armpits. The idea of dematting his actual testicle hair was giving me nightmares though. The skin just seems so delicate there.

And I can already tell that hair (bottom) is growing equally as quickly and densely as elsewhere vs the scrotum area which has baby fine straight hair. It's like the hair on the inside of the ear leather. I had thought letting it grow to the equivalent of a #15 would disguise everything nicely, but that definitely does not seem to be the case.


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## Ciscley (Jul 16, 2013)

Quossum said:


> Maybe you could get this product in a slightly larger size to cover more:
> Rear Gear. Butt Covers for your Cat and Dog... by RearGear


Ewwww. That helped put the problem in perspective. I will take shiny balls over poop crusted "Mr. Brown Eye" (seriously that's what it says on the label!) any day. 



PoodleRick said:


> People won't look if they think his balls are looking back.


 Yet another version of the *Hairy Eyeball*.



Aubrey said:


> You could needle felt him a codpiece and hang it from his tail lol.


Won't that make an interesting pattern to post to Ravelry!! 

Mike has been very anti-clothing on Desi, but I think it will just take my niece or nephew asking what "they" are one time for him to cave and let me buy or make the boy some shorts.


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## kcp1227 (Jan 25, 2013)

I've never had anyone ask me to keep them covered on their dog, but I generally cut it fairly close in that area to avoid matting. My general customer isn't going to be brushing there 


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## Jacamar (Jun 2, 2012)

Ciscley said:


> I know, I'm so sorry. Totally odd ball topic


Ok, enough with the puns! :rofl:


I had a similar problem to this myself when I wore a Speedo on the swim team in college.


Not really, but I had ya going for a second there, no? :laugh:


Panda is not neutered (but will be in another month and a half). I let the hair in the back grow longer to help keep him from getting too proud.


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## patk (Jun 13, 2013)

was thinking of suggesting a speedo variant next, but...


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## Jacamar (Jun 2, 2012)

Once, I took Panda to an agility competition as a spectator. Once there, it occurred to me that maybe all the males had to be neutered according to the rules. So I got paranoid that everyone was looking at Panda, thinking "Whats HE doing here?". So I stood there, feeling very self-conscious about my dog's balls. "Psst!....Panda!....Sit!....SIT!! Good boy!"


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## Lou (Sep 22, 2012)

Jacamar you're funny!!! Hehe 


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## onlypoodles4me (May 18, 2009)

Ok, this a funny thread, just had to comment...my neutered male sp has a very sensitive scrotum, and a high tail set. I have started letting the hair grow a bit and shape it, and now call them his "cotton balls" or his POOticles....not sure how to post a pic from my iPad...it gives him a little dignity back there and he does not get matted.


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## ChantersMom (Aug 20, 2012)

This thread is up there with "What's with my dog and toilet water' thread....


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## Aubrey (May 18, 2013)

It could be worse!


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## PoodleRick (Mar 18, 2013)

Aubrey said:


> It could be worse!


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## Rhett'smom (Sep 23, 2012)

Really this has caused me to snort coffee thru my nose!!!!


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## Siskojan (Mar 13, 2011)

Things could be worse! Thanks to long poodle legs your guy isn't in the same trouble as an older male basset hound I saw coming out of our vets office. His very large scrotum was dragging along the floor as he walked (waddled). Not so bad on the office floor but it must have been nasty heading down the driveway.


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## TheMom (Aug 15, 2013)

I'm a new member here and must say this thread gave me the best laugh I've had in a while.


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## patk (Jun 13, 2013)

Siskojan said:


> Things could be worse! Thanks to long poodle legs your guy isn't in the same trouble as an older male basset hound I saw coming out of our vets office. His very large scrotum was dragging along the floor as he walked (waddled). Not so bad on the office floor but it must have been nasty heading down the driveway.


that's an ouch! human kindness should have demanded in that instance that the dog be dressed in shorts or a piddle pad or something.


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## Manxcat (May 6, 2013)

OMG! This is the best laugh I've had for ages...!! So sorry Ciscley as I know it is a real problem but... *snort* THANKS!

Spray Paint???


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## ItzaClip (Dec 1, 2010)

My suggestion is black sprayza pen! Heehee, but you must get video of you trying to Chase your dog to blow pen his junk! Haha, sorry... I am a member of napcg, which educates about product and what's safe. I will ask about applying on the nutters. 

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## PoodleRick (Mar 18, 2013)




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## MaryEdwards (Oct 29, 2012)

PoodleRick said:


> Ha. We're thinking right along the same lines. you could stick these on. People won't look if they think his balls are looking back.




LOL. My boy Bentley has the same thing going on. As you can see he is mostly white and they most certainly stand out. He's going thru coat change so maybe after that we can give him the privacy curtain 

FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY


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## PoodlePaws (May 28, 2013)

Oh wow. What a good laugh to start my Monday. What is the reason you don't want to neuter? 


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## Ciscley (Jul 16, 2013)

PoodlePaws said:


> Oh wow. What a good laugh to start my Monday. What is the reason you don't want to neuter?
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


I originally decided to delay for my next pet dog because of the health advantages and had even been researching vasectomy vs full neuter, but then we ended up agreeing to do the guardianship / foster of Desi instead. He's only 9 months old right now.


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## Poodlebeguiled (May 27, 2013)

how do you delete a messed up post? I didn't quote everything I meant to.


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## Poodlebeguiled (May 27, 2013)

Poodlebeguiled said:


> Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG! It's too early in the morning for this.
> 
> I was wondering the same thing and thought of some kind of loin cloth. lol. Really, those dangly bits aren't the most attractive thing in the world. What a funny thread.:act-up:





PoodleRick said:


> Ha. We're thinking right along the same lines. you could stick these on. People won't look if they think his balls are looking back.


Hahahahahaha!!!! These are great! What an improvement! I was wondering about some sort of loin cloth. Those dangly bits really aren't the most attractive things about dogs. lol


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## Bostonian (Aug 16, 2013)

I'm a new member and a new poodle owner (4 mos old standard Sedona), planning to delay neutering for health benefits. The breeder said 24 mos.

I wonder if a retriever, a lamb or would work nicely to hide his assets.

Poor Desi, at least he'll never get ignored with those pink assets. He must be a great poodle to be in a guardianship program.


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## Ciscley (Jul 16, 2013)

I think I'm going to try out the privacy curtain first and then if that's still too obvious of a hiding job (like the comb over PoodleRick mentioned), then I'll go to the lamb cut.

I really want to keep his body short though to show off how athletic he is. Otherwise I'm worried he'll look too chunky for his height. 

Here are photos of him from a more flattering angle.


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## PoodleRick (Mar 18, 2013)

Ciscley said:


> I think I'm going to try out the privacy curtain first and then if that's still too obvious of a hiding job (like the comb over PoodleRick mentioned), then I'll go to the lamb cut.
> 
> I really want to keep his body short though to show off how athletic he is. Otherwise I'm worried he'll look too chunky for his height.
> 
> Here are photos of him from a more flattering angle.


He's gorgeous.


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## Jacamar (Jun 2, 2012)

Ciscley said:


> Here are photos of him from a more flattering angle.


I especially love that last shot. Wonderful. :smile:


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## Ciscley (Jul 16, 2013)

Thanks, guys. Looking back at the photos after writing this post I swear in every one the expression seems to be, "Aww, Mom, really?! A post about my boys? Come on!"


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## Jacamar (Jun 2, 2012)

The webcam I bought just 2 months ago got zapped by lightning last night. :sad: So today I fired up my "antique" webcam. I checked in via phone and couldnt help but think of this thread.


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## CharismaticMillie (Jun 16, 2010)

Omg I so have to get a webcam!


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## Jacamar (Jun 2, 2012)

CharismaticMillie said:


> Omg I so have to get a webcam!


http://www.poodleforum.com/5-poodle-talk/55098-how-set-up-your-own-poodlecam.html


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## Fbkathleen (Jan 9, 2012)

Actually I rather get a kick out of Enzo's manhood. I am going to make him a bandana that says, "Have you seen my balls?"


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## MaryEdwards (Oct 29, 2012)

Love the Pics you added. He is so expressive and a beautiful boy


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## ItzaClip (Dec 1, 2010)

Ciscley said:


> I think I'm going to try out the privacy curtain first and then if that's still too obvious of a hiding job (like the comb over PoodleRick mentioned),


Wouldn't that be more like "curly's " mop from 3 stooges?

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## poo lover (Nov 7, 2012)

maybe a little spray tan lol


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## Ciscley (Jul 16, 2013)

Fbkathleen said:


> Actually I rather get a kick out of Enzo's manhood. I am going to make him a bandana that says, "Have you seen my balls?"


Hopefully I'll get to that point eventually, but I was just really hoping to have an under the radar kind of dog for our next pet. We get so much attention and comments (to us and about us) when we have the service dogs out training and Danno is such a beast that all eyes are immediately on him in public. I really wanted Desi to be different.

And honestly, talking about my dog's balls online is one thing, talking about them in the checkout line at the pet store, I'm totally over already.


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## patk (Jun 13, 2013)

Ciscley said:


> Hopefully I'll get to that point eventually, but I was just really hoping to have an under the radar kind of dog for our next pet. We get so much attention and comments (to us and about us) when we have the service dogs out training and Danno is such a beast that all eyes are immediately on him in public. I really wanted Desi to be different.
> 
> And honestly, talking about my dog's balls online is one thing, talking about them in the checkout line at the pet store, I'm totally over already.


as the person who probably started the ribaldry by suggesting if you've got 'em flaunt 'em, let me say that, believe it or not, i also feel your pain. there were moments when i wanted to slap some idiot silly who made remarks about my dog. but in the end, the only way to win is to play the yankee doodle card - you know, when during the revolutionary war the english tagged the americans as "yankee doodle" and the americans turned around and made the title bestowed upon them a rallying cry. 

so the next time remarks are made, try something like, oh, do you like them? our breeder is over the moon about how prominent they are. s/he thinks they really are a sign of his future potency as a sire. you see, in the wild, only the most dominant member of the pack is endowed in this way, as it is nature's way of signalling to the females that he is, in fact, dominant and capable of siring many offspring. as dogs have become domesticated, this trait has become rarer and rarer. at home we actually refer to him as wonder dog.

probably you will get some dropped jaws, stunned silence and maybe a bit of mumbling as folks move on. can't promise it will work, but it should take the wind out of a few sails. if anyone challenges you, all you have to do is shrug your shoulders and say, well, my breeder wouldn't be so eager to use him as a sire otherwise.


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## Ciscley (Jul 16, 2013)

*patk*, when _I_ grow the balls to use a line like that, I definitely won't care enough to need it! That is CLASSIC. 

Maybe that's how you know he's a real poodle and not a doodle... cause the hair doesn't grow on the pooticles. Feel free to give me other excuses - so long as they are flagrant enough to live up to Desi's boys.

I can't imagine saying them to someone, but I will definitely remember them the next time my neighbor comments and it will help my smile be not so fake.


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## patk (Jun 13, 2013)

ciscley 

dogs are family to most of us at pf. it's okay, really, to protest any slight, implied or otherwise, but it has to be kept within certain bounds, since the weight of society's judgment favors humans. on the other hand, i don't know many people who would tolerate criticism of their children for being crybabies, whiners, bullies, having stringy hair or eyes set too close together, etc., but i never criticize or talk about a neighbor's child for those reasons or most others. it's just going to start a battle. for the same reason, i also never criticize a neighbor's dog unless it has attacked someone. 

sometimes, however, smiling when the other guy goes too far is the wrong signal, just as rewarding a growl can be the wrong signal to a dog. so setting boundaries is okay. if your female neighbor is an idiot, just say in response, that's why we call him wonder dog. if it's a guy who's an idiot, just say, well, you know what they say, size matters, and smile smugly. no need to feel defensive, explain, or apologize. desi is your guy, he is family, and he is not hurting anyone else. if you think he needs defending, defend him. doing it with humor keeps the other guys off balance and makes it very difficult for them to hold a grudge. so far, i would gather that you have held up admirably and i salute you for that.


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