# disappointed



## ericwd9 (Jun 13, 2014)

Regardless of anything that could be said to you, You have already rejected this puppy. I note that you have been looking forward to this puppy for some time and have prepared in some ways. If you are unable to bond with this puppy *at all*, send "it" (you used this word and did not notice its sex) back where it came from. Puppy raising is a long and sometimes frustrating exercise even for the wise. Make the break now or commit yourself to a lot of work and care. There are many, many posts here if you search about wolfing food. A puppy who has been hungry and last on the teat will do this. Also if the food given is very yummy (like fresh meat) even a normally well mannered dog will wolf. You can get over it but you need to bond with your puppy and take time to train the behavior you want. You will get all the help here you might want but the work will be yours.
Lots of edits in order to be precise.

Think long before getting another puppy. Learn what you will need to do first. Talk long to the breeder and see the puppy before it comes home. Try to bond with the puppy as a mother does to her baby. If you can not do this then look for a dog older than 12 months who is already trained to your expectations.

Sorry for the blunt reply, but you post shows your disappointment and frustration with a relatively normal puppy. Have you had previous experience with puppies? Since your problems are covered well in every forum where dogs are loved and cared for I find it difficult to see why you are quite so distressed. You would seem to be unprepared for the new member of your family. If you decide to keep this puppy, I and most others here will be with you, will help and take interest in every new eventuality.
Eric


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## lisasgirl (May 27, 2010)

So it's the rapid eating that has you so worried? Because that's not that alarming, at least on its own. Keep in mind that googling resources will tend to give you the worst case scenario - it's like when you look up fairly innocuous cold symptoms online and get told you have a terminal illness. Sometimes those are the symptoms that go along with a horrible illness, but chances are you just have a cold. It's the same with rapid eating - in most cases, it just means you have a dog who eats really fast. Maybe you need to keep a closer eye on how much you're feeding since you know the puppy won't self-regulate. That's about it.

Crying in the crate is totally normal. Remember, your puppy has no way to contextualize this life change. He is suddenly far away from everyone and everything he's ever known, surrounded by strangers and expected to sleep alone for the first time in his entire life. He'll adjust, but he's probably a bit freaked out and lonely in the meantime. You need to be patient. 

Maybe do some thinking about whether you're in for the reality of puppy raising. It's OK if you're not, by the way - I adopted a young adult dog because I knew a baby puppy wasn't a good fit for me. If you have small children, you're often better off finding a calm adult dog (over 3 years old) anyway, just for the sake of sanity. That said, people do it, and happily, and just because you have moments of doubt doesn't mean you're not cut out for this. It's just a personal choice as to whether you think the good things about puppy raising outweigh the frustrating things.

In the meantime, try to get some sleep. Sleep deprivation makes everything seem worse than it is.


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## TrixieTreasure (May 24, 2015)

It's been a long time since I've had a puppy, but I think it's important not to feed too much at any one time. Otherwise, wolfing it down could make him throw up, or get so sick that you would have to rush him to the vet. They have small bellies, and need to be fed 4 or 5 times a day. Maybe even 6. He's only been with you for a couple of days, right? So give him ( and yourself) time to adjust to feeding schedules. I wouldn't give him anything whole, unless it's really small pieces.

About crating, what about putting the crate in a place where he can see you at night? Maybe touch him a few times and try to soothe him to sleep. Or you can always put in an alarm clock. Puppies seems to like the ticking and it soothes them to sleep.

Personally, when my puppies would cry at night, I would take them out of their crate and have them with me for awhile until they finally went to sleep. Then I would put them back in their crate. When they started crying again, I would do that again. Until it came to be that they would sleep the whole night in the crate. I know some Poodle owners would disagree with doing it that way, but I gotta tell you, it sure did the trick for our puppies.


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## TrixieTreasure (May 24, 2015)

ericwd9 said:


> Regardless of anything that could be said to you, You have already rejected this puppy. I note that you have been looking forward to this puppy for some time and have prepared in some ways. If you are unable to bond with this puppy *at all*, send "it" (you used this word and did not notice its sex) back where it came from. Puppy raising is a long and sometimes frustrating exercise even for the wise. Make the break now or commit yourself to a lot of work and care. There are many, many posts here if you search about wolfing food. A puppy who has been hungry and last on the teat will do this. You can get over it but you need to bond with your puppy and take time to train the behavior you want. You will get all the help here you might want but the work will be yours.
> 
> Think long before getting another puppy. Learn what you will need to do first. Talk long to the breeder and see the puppy before it comes home. Try to bond with the puppy as a mother does to her baby. If you can not do this then look for a dog older than 12 months who is already trained to your expectations.
> 
> ...



Going by what I read, I was thinking that this owner is just overly nervous and scared.

But you're right. It takes A LOT of work to raise a puppy and one needs to be committed to doing the work and have the patience. I don't know, if she doesn't want to take the time, then maybe it would be best to send the puppy back, and for her to get an older dog that has already gone through the puppy stage.

ALSO: Does anyone know how old this puppy is? Maybe it's just way to young to be taken away from its mother.


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## Luce (Mar 4, 2013)

If the breeder is close to you, bring a clean dish towel to her and have her rub the towel where the Mom sleeps, the Mom and if she still has puppies - them too! I'm sure your pup will welcome the familiar scent.

I'm not sure yet about in-haling food , I'll think about it.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

How often is the puppy (he? she?) being fed? Has he been wormed regularly? I would feed at least four meals a day, and use the food fixation to get in some early focussing games with treats.

And the vast majority of puppies cry when they are first left alone in a crate - it is a very sensible survival mechanism begging Mum to come and rescue them from the strange and potentially dangerous place where they are all alone and vulnerable. Most do better with company and comfort, human or another dog. A young puppy has very little control over bladder or bowels, so toileting accidents are nearly inevitable.

I tend to agree with Eric - pups are like babies, and it takes a lot of love to put up with the sleepless nights, mess, chewing and other disruption to your life! There are times when there is simply too much other stuff going on in your life to be able to cope with puppy (and in due course adolescent) shenanigans. We all tend to have a rather romanticised view of what life with a baby will be like, whether human or canine, all milky smiles and cuddles, pink clouds and baby breath. The occasionally smelly, frequently screaming, needle toothed reality can come as something of a shock, and you won't be the first new parent of either species to wonder if you have made a terrible mistake. Usually that clears in a few days as bonding gets under way, and you know that this is _your_ puppy, loved for her faults as well as her virtues, but if you don't get that rush of love there is no shame in deciding that the time is not right for raising a puppy and returning her to her breeder. Just do it soon enough that she has a good chance of finding the right home.


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## Muggles (Mar 14, 2015)

It really does sound a bit like you are having more trouble with the pup than just fast eating and crying overnight. The fact you're calling your puppy 'it' is a bit concerning to me. Maybe you should seriously consider speaking with your breeder if you're this unhappy and haven't bonded at all with the puppy. 

But anyway. For the eating, you could try a slow feeder bowl or mat that will force the pup to eat slower. Otherwise you could try scattering the food (if you're feeding kibble) around the floor so he/she has to hunt around for it. 

Like has been suggested already, put the crate in your bedroom, preferably beside your bed so your puppy feels more comforted. The beginning will always be hard for sleeping! Yes you will be tired but you've got a baby remember!

Deep breaths and remember this is supposed to be fun. Enjoy your puppy, they're only babies once.


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## Bizzeemamanj (Apr 14, 2014)

Hi Heartpudel and congrats on your new puppy!

I wanted to post some words of encouragement as you adjust to having a new fuzzy faced family member!. 

While I didn't deal with the exact issue you are describing (fast eating), I did have moments of "what have I done!!!" when Cooper first joined our family. Cooper is a very active, confident, assertive dog. When he was a puppy he loved to play very rough and loved (still loves) mouth play. I believe some folks here at PF call this behavior "land sharking". LOL! 

I was so worried was Cooper an aggressive puppy/dog that I was in a panic most of the first two weeks he was home. Everything I read pointed to "aggression!!" in big red letters. At a loss on where to turn, I scheduled a private training session with a highly recommended trainer. She immediately showed me the difference between assertive and aggressive dog behavior and taught me how to redirect Cooper's unwanted behavior and shape the positive behavior I wanted. It wasn't a quick fix, but patience, persistence and lots of praise have shaped him into the absolutely amazing dog he is today.

Puppies are hard! Puppies are bossy. Puppies are persistent. But puppies are also babies - they don't know what you want until you teach them. And it's okay to try a bunch of different things until you find what works with your puppy. Just remind yourself - lots of puppies eat fast but very few truly grow into resource guarders. Lots of puppies soil in their crates, but very few don't become reliably house broken. All puppies whine in their crates to start, but very few don't find a way to sleep through the night.

Hang in there and try to find moments of joy with your new addition. It does get better and before you know it, you will have a wonderful companion.


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

I can't tell you how many times I looked at Lily and asked myself why in the world I had thought I wanted her. She was a very hard puppy, probably more annoying that a colicky baby.

Puppies are hard work, just like or maybe even harder in some ways than human babies. If you are not prepared to do this work then I agree with those who said to return the pup to the breeder (sooner than later too). If you are up for it we will help you. You were sounding very excited about this puppy, so I have a hard time believing it is all a disaster. Most of the things you are disappointed about are actually pretty normal for puppies that have just gone home. For example we couldn't put Javelin's crate in our room this summer and he cried unrelentingly for a week after which I took Lily to a show and BF broke down and put him on the bed (to my chagrin). He was very quiet there and BF was happy to sleep through.

I also think a slow feeder bowl is in order to keep the pup from gulping food. Fast eating is not so much a problem unless the pup barfs it up consistently because of how fast it is eating the food.

Puppies are often overwhelmingly lonely the first few nights. They have been taken away from everything that was familiar and stable in their world, put in a crate, driven in a car, etc. and then find themselves in a totally unfamiliar place. They are scared. The best way to give the pup some reassurance right now is to put the crate next to your bed or for you to "sleep" in the guest room with the little one. As Luce suggested if the breeder is close go with a couple of old towels and rub them on the mom so the pup has a little comfort blanket to sleep with.

Make a conscious effort to bond with this puppy. It isn't an "it." The pup is a living breathing little scared personality who will know but not understand why you don't like it. What is your puppy's name? Have you taken any pictures? If you have pictures show them to us and do tell us the pup's name. A relatively new user here has been having a very hard time with her puppy, but has bonded with her and made lots of progress in dealing with the problems she had with her. Sometimes the relationship with a puppy isn't automatic. They will give you their all though if you commit to them. As I said at the outset here, Lily was a tough puppy. Also she and Peeves were puppies together. There were days I dreaded going into my home because I wasn't convinced I wanted to deal with them. Once I adjusted my attitude things turned around very quickly. Now I have three dogs who are all on board with me and BF and we are all very happy.


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## CharismaticMillie (Jun 16, 2010)

Eating rapidly like that is very normal for a puppy! They are growing and hungry! They often will act starving and inhale down their food. Really, I'd consider it a blessing that you have a good motivated dog because they are in many ways the easiest to train. The gobbling of the food should slow down as the puppy grows up and his/her energy needs decrease, or at least that's what I've noticed with my own puppies. If you are so bothered by it that you can't just wait for your puppy to grow out of it, you can try stirring in some cottage cheese to see if that slows the puppy down. You can also try feeding from an interactive toy.

Barking in the crate is also a pretty normal thing that happens during crate training. You just have to get through it. Ignore the barking. It could take a week or so, but your puppy will learn to settle. Maybe don't let the pup out every 2 hours. I would do every 3 hours during the day and, honestly, I expect
My Puppies to sleep all night in their crate by 8 weeks. Make sure the space inside the crate is small enough to discourage pooping in there while still giving puppy enough room to turn around and lay down. I get my puppies on a routine of poopig immediately after a meal so I never have to worry about then pooping or needing to poop when crated.

Good luck! I am sorry to hear you are disappointed with your puppy. From what you've described, your puppy is very typical and showing normal puppy behaviors. You also seem detached. Maybe an adult dog would have been a better match?


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## Mfmst (Jun 18, 2014)

Buck was crate trained when we brought him home, but my soft-hearted husband could not bear the crying, so we blocked off our tiled kitchen and hall. Buck was fine with that. He had a few accidents, even though I took him out frequently. If your puppy is a fast eater, there are slow feeder bowls or you could sit on the floor and hand feed him. Work on a soft mouth for puppy and have a little bonding time together. As the others have said, it's very stressful for a puppy to adjust to being away from his mother and litter. Every smell and noise is new. It does get better but you have to be prepared for some schedule disruptions as everyone settles into the new normal. Good luck!


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## Carley's Mom (Oct 30, 2011)

PUPPIES ARE HARD!!!! I always go for an adult because I don't want to deal with puppies, you might want to do the same. Your puppy sound normal to me, just trying to figure out why it's world has turned upside down. Things will get better! But it will take at least 2 years before you have an adult dog.... some people love the puppy stage, those are the people that should have them. 

I don't know , but every puppy I have ever had eats it's food in a hurry... As for sleeping in the crate, if you are getting up anyway, why not put it in bed with you ? When he needs to go out he will start to walk around, I bet you would both get more sleep. I never used a crate with a puppy, I just put them on a tile floored room blocked from getting out and happily cleaned up the next morning. I did not ever get up with them. They will grow up and stop using the bathroom at night. Never had one that didn't and they were all housebroke anyway.


Wishing you luck, sorry things are not going well. Hope to get an update with a new way of thinking about this little guy.


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## mom2Zoe (Jun 17, 2014)

I do not know why you are so concerned with rapid eating?
Zoe inhales her food from day one, she loves to eat.
I never found it a problem, in fact I rather that than a picky eater.
I would not call Zoe neurotic because she woofs down her food.She is not neurotic in any way. I have a house full of kids and she never showed any aggression to them because of eating fast. She has zero aggression, again she just enjoys her food. Eating fast does not make her sick either.


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## Tiny Poodles (Jun 20, 2013)

Ditto to just bout everything that everyone said, and I will add that I would be thrilled to get a puppy who was so food focused - with the poodle brain that makes for a puppy who will learn anything fast!
And I will also add that my Timi screamed in her crate ALL night long, not every couple of hours, but continuously until she was housebroken and allowed in the bed. I was so utterly exhausted that I must have muttered fifty times a day "never again, this is my lat puppy", but today, at 1 1/2 years old, she is the light of my life and I think that I will probably do it just one more time.
If you are willing to "do the time" with everything that you have, I promise you that you will ultimately have your reward, but if you are not up for it, get out quick for everyone's sake.


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## Coldbrew (Jun 17, 2015)

like everyone said: puppies are hard. they aren't ever quite what you expect them to be, but that goes both ways. they'll drive you insane one minute and the next be looking at you with eyes so sweet you wonder how you could ever be mad at them.

another suggestion on slowing down the eating, trying stuff a Kong with his/her meal, adding a little water, and freezing it. the puppy has to work the food out, which is a mental task, and it also slows down the eating.

something else that's occured to me as I was typing - have you double checked that the puppy is getting the right amount of food? and have you had a fecal test done recently? worms can make a dog ravenous bc they aren't actually getting anything from the food they eat.


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## Dechi (Aug 22, 2015)

Sounds like a very normal puppy to me. The crying was to be expected. This little dog just left his or her mom and siblings, his house and everything he has known his entire short life ! They're just like human babies, they cry ! This puppy needs reassurance, not to be put away by itself somewhere.

Maybe you had an unrealistic vision of what puppies are. Like others said, maybe an adult would be better suited to you.


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## ArreauStandardPoodle (Sep 1, 2009)

Poor puppy! You need to figure out how to relax and enjoy him/her. Nothing you described is abnormal at all. It is important to have the crate where you are (ie; by your bed) because you are this baby's new pack and he/she has never been alone before so of course is distraught. My opinion...take the puppy back and wait for a young adult.


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## lisasgirl (May 27, 2010)

If it helps, I will say that I brought home Archie at 10 months (so quite a bit older than your puppy) and it still took me about a month to really feel bonded and not have daily "Maybe this was a bad idea" feelings. Before then I was intellectually happy I had a dog, but frustrated by many things. Adjusting to a dog when you haven't had one is hard at any age - it's always more of a commitment than you think it's going to be. 

As for whether to put the crate in your room or the guest room, I think you can go either way. Archie actually only cries if he can see us while he's in the crate, so putting him in another room works much better for us. When we travel and he has to have the crate in our room, we cover it with a blanket. I think it's just that when he knows we're right there, he gets very frustrated that we won't just go get him out. But if he's on his own, he accepts the situation and settles right down.

Oh, and definitely seconding the suggestion of freezing food into a Kong toy and feeding him that way. Feed him in the crate, too. The Kong will slow him down, and feeding him alone in his crate will help him associate it with positive experiences.


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## Mfmst (Jun 18, 2014)

A puppy that is a good eater is a blessing. One less thing to worry about. I was frantic because Buck never finished his kibble and I wasted a lot of money trying different brands with the same results. I learned later, that he prefers to free feed. You can also use your puppy's kibble as training treats. I do hope you are just feeling a bit stressed out, as we all are from time to time with change.


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## PoodleFoster (May 25, 2013)

heartpudel said:


> I have to be honest. I am really disappointed with our new puppy.
> 
> Evening crating went terrible. It literally cried all night. Not just one or two hours, the. entire. night. Every 2 hours, I took it out to eliminate, and put it back, no playtime or anything. Despite doing this, it still pooped in its crate.
> 
> ...


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## MiniPoo (Mar 6, 2014)

I have no idea if the OP is reading our suggestions, but I think she must not be very dog experienced and did not really know what to expect with a puppy. Thus her disappointment.

When I get a puppy I arrange to take off work a few days and I expect not to sleep the first few days--as you would with a new born baby. If you accept this, then you can deal with it without getting so upset.

I hope she will take the puppy to the vet soon and he will be wormed to elimnate this as a problem. The fast eating should get better in time.


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## N2Mischief (Dec 3, 2012)

I gotta say, I am really worried for this puppy. If you are so very disappointed because the puppy eats fast and cries in the crate on the first night, I wonder how you will feel when he chews up something important or poo's and pee's in your house...which WILL most likely happen.

I think you may have had unrealistic expectations. Maybe a Pollyanna-ish picture of what it is like to have a new puppy. It is WORK and can be VERY frustrating, even when expectations are more realistic. 

I think when you kept referring to your puppy as "it", a lot of people here were put off. 

If you think this is something you want to continue to work on, REALISTICALLY, you will receive lots of great advice (and some probably not so great). But if you think that this is just too much for you, no one would fault you for returning the pup so that someone else can raise with less frustration.

In the mean time, try to look at this from the puppy's point of view. He was just taken away from his mama and his other siblings which were his security...the only thing he has ever known. He is then taken for a car ride and into a house with new smells and sounds and people. He is feeling insecure and wondering what the heck just happened and worse, what is going to happen next. Have empathy for him. Reassure him. Show affection to him. Don't let him see or feel frustration from you. Most of all, be patient and kind. He is just a baby.


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## Summerhouse (Jun 12, 2015)

MiniPoo said:


> I have no idea if the OP is reading our suggestions, but I think she must not be very dog experienced and did not really know what to expect with a puppy. Thus her disappointment.


I also got the feeling she thought finding a good breeder would mean her puppy wouldn't have any of the puppy issues read about in a book. The breeder only has them for 8 weeks. Its up to the hoomans to teach them how to be a member of the family.


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## lisasgirl (May 27, 2010)

Summerhouse said:


> I also got the feeling she thought finding a good breeder would mean her puppy wouldn't have any of the puppy issues read about in a book. The breeder only has them for 8 weeks. Its up to the hoomans to teach them how to be a member of the family.


I think sometimes people downplay how difficult puppies are, and play up how much difference a good breeder makes in the day-to-day life of puppy raising. Or at least, I see a lot of posts from people saying they want x y and z in a dog and then getting responses that say, "Find a good breeder and tell them what you want and you'll be fine!" I can see how it's easy to get the wrong impression when you're just doing research. And even if you do get an accurate picture, it always sounds easier in your head than it will be in real life. This is why I usually recommend that new dog owners try fostering for a rescue for a bit if that's feasible for them.

Anyway, hopefully OP is just frustrated and will adapt soon.


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## patk (Jun 13, 2013)

lisasgirl said:


> Anyway, hopefully OP is just frustrated and will adapt soon.


either that or return the pup and give herself and the dog a second chance at a better fit.


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## Granberry (Nov 17, 2014)

Bless your heart..you're tired! And I totally get that puppies are a lot of trouble and a whole lot of gross...all that poop and pee and slobber. You've gotten some good tips here, and all I would add is to take care of yourself too. There is nothing wrong, IMO, with putting the puppy's crate in the guest room and shutting the door at night. He/she will learn that that is a safe place very quickly, and you can't operate with no sleep.

For now, "parent" intellectually instead of with your heart. You're doing the right things so far...getting up every 2 hours to toilet the puppy even when you don't feel like it, etc. Stick with your schedule that you know - from the research I know you did - is the right one. Eventually, it will settle down. My pug, Porky, is still so completely focused on his food that he is obsessive about it, but I just don't think about it. I just follow the schedule (can't free feed that one!) no matter how much he begs.

Good luck, keep the faith, and remember...those puppies only last a little while!


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## hopetocurl (Jan 8, 2014)

You can't just place a puppy in a crate and not expect some crying. I covered (as suggested above) Willow's crate and put it on a chair next to my bed. I put my finger under the cover and on the door of the crate so she could see/smell me. It took about 3 days for her to be quiet all night... then, I started moving the chair further and further away from the bed... then off the chair and into place... it took about a week. She only cried when she went out. Remember, a puppy needs to be gradually taught to hold it. It could have pooped in it's crate from stress... it was stressed out that it didn't know what was going on or what to expect. I've had will for 1 1/2 years now... and couldn't be without her. Good luck! Inbox if you need any more tips.


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## Tiny Poodles (Jun 20, 2013)

lisasgirl said:


> I think sometimes people downplay how difficult puppies are, and play up how much difference a good breeder makes in the day-to-day life of puppy raising. Or at least, I see a lot of posts from people saying they want x y and z in a dog and then getting responses that say, "Find a good breeder and tell them what you want and you'll be fine!" I can see how it's easy to get the wrong impression when you're just doing research. And even if you do get an accurate picture, it always sounds easier in your head than it will be in real life. This is why I usually recommend that new dog owners try fostering for a rescue for a bit if that's feasible for them.
> 
> 
> 
> Anyway, hopefully OP is just frustrated and will adapt soon.



Is this a first time dog owner?
My gosh I have raised 7 from puppies and every dang time it is fifty times harder than I remember! It is only my past experiences finding out how fruitfully my efforts will pay off that gives me the courage to stick with it!
Finding a great breeder only means that you can rest assured that you efforts will ultimately pay off,it does not mean that you get to bypass any of the efforts - not a single bit can be bypassed!


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## grab (Jun 1, 2010)

Rapidly eating is not alarming, as has nothing to do with food aggression. I happen to like dogs that are food driven. It makes them really easy to train throughout their lives. Rapid eating is not a "behavior" that is uncorrectable, nor was it established when nursing. I would certainly rethink your sources of information. Not to mention, if this was the puppy's first day, it may have been extra hungry due to burning off more calories from his/her stressful first day. 

Vocalizing in the crate is normal in puppies that have not been introduced to crates already. It's very easy to work on making the crate a fun place. Perhaps give him/her a stuffed/frozen Kong before bedtime. Mental exercise is just as important as physical exercise, and will wear them out. Even without that, working on making the crate a pleasant place will go a long way. Very few puppies are quiet the first night, and your unpleasant behavior of banishing a baby into a closed off room probably did not help matters in any way. Just as newborn babies cry, so do puppies. We don't presume that crying newborns will become horrible adults, similarly, we don't write off puppies for behaving normally.

Have you had a puppy before? Perhaps join a puppy kindergarten class, where you can talk with other owners going through the same things.


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## PoodleRick (Mar 18, 2013)

If "it' was fed in a group with all the brothers and sisters in a free for all it's no wonder it eats like that. My second Spoo, Beau, wolfed his food down when we first got him. His breeder fed all the pups from a huge bowl and it was every pup for itself. He calmed down over a few months and became a free feeder. We filled his bowl and he'd casually eat throughout the day. Hope you get thing figured out soon.

Rick


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## Theo'sMom (Mar 23, 2011)

Dear Heartpudel,
Most new puppy families get post partum depression. This can last a few weeks. Your current anxiety and depression and disappointment are not to be trusted. You are just scared and feel helpless. 
However, things will get better if you pull yourself together. This means
1) lowering your expectations-expect crying in the crate for up to a few weeks
2) stop making normal puppy behavior problematic- you are lucky your dog eats! My first was a picky eater and learned to be choosy (trained me well) to get more chicken.
3) Expect pooping and peeing mistakes for the first 4-5 months.
When I had puppies, my friends and family spoke openly of their post partum depression when they had puppies. Puppies are hard, but if you are patient, your puppy will be a gem.


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## TrixieTreasure (May 24, 2015)

Theo'sMom said:


> Dear Heartpudel,
> Most new puppy families get post partum depression. This can last a few weeks. Your current anxiety and depression and disappointment are not to be trusted. You are just scared and feel helpless.
> However, things will get better if you pull yourself together. This means
> 1) lowering your expectations-expect crying in the crate for up to a few weeks
> ...


Everything I've read on this thread has been great advice. The OP has only had the puppy for 2 days, and it's like being a first time mom. Having the jitters and nervousness all comes with the territory. I hope she decides to hang in there and work things out with her puppy. It doesn't have to be in a way that any of us has advised, just as long as she starts to calm down. Her nervousness and dissatisfaction is probably rubbing off on the puppy, and I'm sure that's making the poor thing even more scared.

I became a first time Poodle mom in 1977. I had no idea what to expect with an 8 week old puppy ( back then I didn't know about waiting until they were 10 to 12 weeks). But you learn as you go. In fact, you and puppy learn together. My baby cried all night for the first several nights. I tried my best to keep him in a crate, and have the crate level with my bed, so that he could see me, and I could touch him. Many times, I took him out of the crate and laid him next to me, loving on him and telling him that all will be okay. Then when he started falling asleep, I would put him back in the crate. And we did that many times until the time came when he would sleep the whole night in his crate. 

One thing that is SO IMPORTANT is, the owner MUST have patience and just go with the flow of things. You can't get upset because that only upsets the puppy even more. I always had the "oh well" kind of attitude when my puppies pooped and peed on the carpet instead of on the newspapers. I was stern enough, but I also had the attitude of, next time it will be better. My pups actually took to the newspapers really pretty quickly, and between the newspapers and going outside, they were fully potty trained within a few months.

But, just like everyone has said, it takes work to take care of a puppy. But, in my mind anyway, it doesn't have to be HARD work. Just go with the flow, accept the mistakes that are made, and have the attitude that the two of you will learn this stuff together. It will takes months to get everything down pact, but that's the fun of having a puppy. Learning, and loving, together. 

Oh.... and enjoying that precious puppy breath!!!


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## Beaches (Jan 25, 2014)

"It". Not he or she, it - that says it all! 
Unbelievable!


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## Tiny Poodles (Jun 20, 2013)

Beaches said:


> "It". Not he or she, it - that says it all!
> Unbelievable!



I don't disagree, but please let's try to give the OP the benefit of the doubt that they are stressed out with the new baby.
Timi's nickname the first few months was "The Kraken " as in sorry everyone, time to release the... And alternately "The Thing" (from the movie), and Chuckie (from Child's Story).


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## ericwd9 (Jun 13, 2014)

My immediate response was that we had been trolled but further investigation revealed that the OP had undertaken a lot of research and was very excited about the expected new arrival. The OP is very worried about the behavior of her new puppy. As most have pointed out, the behavior noted was relatively normal. But to one new to puppy behavior, it no doubt is all a bit too much too soon.

Grace won the names "Mademoiselle Noir Uninair", Needle Teeth and Thunder Guts when she first came home!! Now she is proud of her own behavior. She lives to please and be praised.
Eric


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## Wren (Jul 2, 2013)

Two words...well maybe a few more. I won't repeat what others have said, all gave good advice. 

Go to the pet store and buy a....here come the 2 words... Kong Wobbler. I swear you won't regret spending the money. 

You put dry food inside the wobbler and the dog gets to nose and knock it around to get the food out. Your pup will quickly learn how to work the wobbler. Only a few pieces of food will come out at a time. Pups love this thing; it slows down their eating and gives them a little physical and mental workout.

Use the wobbler to feed when you don't have much time to hand feed or make frozen Kongs.

Puppies are exhausting work. I hope you find your way to do the right thing (whatever it is) for yourself and the pup.


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## Caddy (Nov 23, 2014)

I wish we would hear something, because I am starting to worry about this baby.


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## Critterluvr (Jul 28, 2014)

Beaches said:


> "It". Not he or she, it - that says it all!
> Unbelievable!


EXACTLY what I was thinking.........


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

Tiny Poodles there are still days where we refer to Lily by her puppy nickname of mischief. We think of Peeves as a lovable oaf lots of days. Javelin is the only one who has been a largely easy puppy and I think that has a lot to do with being third time together puppy parents in the relatively short span of seven years. He still did manage to chew my Ethan Allen dresser one day when I forgot to close one of the gates and he spent the whole day loose in the house. Stuff happens.

As to the reference to the puppy as it not him or her I want to give the OP a little slack. Clearly they are very stressed out and not feeling connected to the puppy. Let's be hopeful that some of the ideas suggested here have been seen by the OP and that the lack of a reply means they are busy trying to make a fresh start with the puppy.


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## TrixieTreasure (May 24, 2015)

Beaches said:


> "It". Not he or she, it - that says it all!
> Unbelievable!



I totally understand, and that bothered me too, but I think it's good to remember that this owner doesn't seem to know anything about raising a puppy, and is very frustrated about it all.


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## TrixieTreasure (May 24, 2015)

ericwd9 said:


> My immediate response was that we had been trolled but further investigation revealed that the OP had undertaken a lot of research and was very excited about the expected new arrival. The OP is very worried about the behavior of her new puppy. As most have pointed out, the behavior noted was relatively normal. But to one new to puppy behavior, it no doubt is all a bit too much too soon.
> 
> Grace won the names "Mademoiselle Noir Uninair", Needle Teeth and Thunder Guts when she first came home!! Now she is proud of her own behavior. She lives to please and be praised.
> Eric



I knew we weren't being trolled because I remember seeing her posts in recent days, getting all excited about bringing the new baby home. I just think her expectations were way too high, and she just got scared and overwhelmed by it all.


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## TrixieTreasure (May 24, 2015)

I just got a PM from her! I actually PM'd her late last night trying to give her some encouragement. I don't want to reveal things that she has told me in private without getting her permission, but I will say that EVERYTHING IS OKAY with her and the puppy. I'm going now to respond back to her PM.


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## hopetocurl (Jan 8, 2014)

Critterluvr said:


> EXACTLY what I was thinking.........


I think we need to give heartpudel the benefit of the doubt. I know that when I am exhausted I tend to get overly emotional, cranky, and say things I do not really mean. Things are probably turning around....as they get to know each other.


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## heartpudel (Sep 22, 2015)

*Update*

I was just looking for some words of encouragement. I was really overwhelmed due to lack of sleep. He is very very loved. Thank you to everybody who gave me advice and encouraging messages.


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## N2Mischief (Dec 3, 2012)

So good to hear! I see we have a boy, congrats!!!


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## MollyMuiMa (Oct 13, 2012)

Well........ now that that's settled, how about telling us what you named him and posting a picture of your new baby?!!! Being a new mom to a puppy is just as hard as being a new Mom to a human sometimes!!! Serious sympathy to you! Hahaha!!!


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## Deblakeside (Oct 2, 2015)

Glad to hear from you! We were all beginning to worry about both of you! And remember, all of us who have been giving you advice and encouragement are now vested in you; that makes us all like godparents. And that means you can post here for advice, encouragement, just to vent, just to brag, or just to share. However we would very much like to hear more about your pup, we love photos, as well as anecdotes about your trials, tribulations, and success! Hang in there, you'll be so glad you did! :amen:


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## Viking Queen (Nov 12, 2014)

I am happy that things are smoothing out for all of you. I do remember those exhausting puppy times and just kept repeating to my self. . . " this too shall pass ". It does get better, much better over time, and with sleep.

Hang in there

Viking Queen


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## Caddy (Nov 23, 2014)

So pleased to hear things are ok with you both. New puppies can be hard, but they do start sleeping through the night faster than human babies, lol. Two things can make me a little crazy, being tired or hungry. It gets better.


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## ericwd9 (Jun 13, 2014)

A combination of tired, hungry, yelping and pee on the carpet is a recipe for insanity.


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## Gossamerpink (Oct 27, 2015)

fjm said:


> I tend to agree with Eric - pups are like babies, and it takes a lot of love to put up with the sleepless nights, mess, chewing and other disruption to your life! There are times when there is simply too much other stuff going on in your life to be able to cope with puppy (and in due course adolescent) shenanigans. We all tend to have a rather romanticised view of what life with a baby will be like, whether human or canine, all milky smiles and cuddles, pink clouds and baby breath. The occasionally smelly, frequently screaming, needle toothed reality can come as something of a shock, and you won't be the first new parent of either species to wonder if you have made a terrible mistake. Usually that clears in a few days as bonding gets under way, and you know that this is _your_ puppy, loved for her faults as well as her virtues, but if you don't get that rush of love there is no shame in deciding that the time is not right for raising a puppy and returning her to her breeder. Just do it soon enough that she has a good chance of finding the right home.


Oh my gosh. I wanna cry. Exactly what Im going though. Im relieved to know that this is a normal phase. Ive had mine (2 of them!) for 6 weeks and I'd say that my life has changed. I have days when I'm very exhausted, I just cry. It's my first time to have puppies, and I did not expect how much work they'd bring. But most of the time, they bring me lots of giggles and tears of joy (when they learn new tricks or happily greet me). It gets better in time though, especially when I began accepting that in order to keep them in my life, it might take a year or two before my life would be normal again... only richer.


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## Gossamerpink (Oct 27, 2015)

Granberry said:


> You've gotten some good tips here, and all I would add is to take care of yourself too...and you can't operate with no sleep.


Thank you. I learned this the hard way. And sometimes, I still forget. Good thing, though, they sleep for 8-9 hours in crate now. Gone are tge midnight waking up days. Now I just have to remember not to feel bad about crating them when I need to shower, nap, or have a quiet lunch.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

Thanks for posting again Heartpudel - sleep deprivation is exhausting and looking after a puppy can be non stop and overwhelming. Thinking back to when Poppy was a pup, she inhaled her food - so much so that she had eaten hers and was eyeing up Sophy's before Sophy had managed more than a bite or two (to this day Sophy prefers to eat in the sitting room where I can watch her back), and she still wolfs it down. Poppy snatched at treats, and it took a long time to teach her to take them gently. But her love of food, and play, and attention make her very easy to train, if she once settles down long enough to listen. I think puppies, like babies, become much easier when you have settled into a routine, and when that routine includes regular naps during the day. It can take a while to establish, but a sleepy hour on the sofa can be bliss for both of you. 

The other lesson I learned when Sophy was a pup and there were just the two of us was how easy it is to get hung up on socialising and exercising and training and all the other must dos before the puppy is any older, and forget to simply have fun together. The day I realised that in the effort to do everything right I had left out pure fun, and got down on the floor and play bowed to Sophy, was the day our life together turned joyous!


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## ericwd9 (Jun 13, 2014)

Gossamerpink said:


> Oh my gosh. I wanna cry. Exactly what Im going though. Im relieved to know that this is a normal phase. Ive had mine (2 of them!) for 6 weeks and I'd say that my life has changed. I have days when I'm very exhausted, I just cry. It's my first time to have puppies, and I did not expect how much work they'd bring. But most of the time, they bring me lots of giggles and tears of joy (when they learn new tricks or happily greet me). It gets better in time though, especially when I began accepting that in order to keep them in my life, it might take a year or two before my life would be normal again... only richer.


Two at once is a 4 times the work job. I don't envy you.
Eric.


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

Yes, having had Lily and Peeves just 8 weeks apart in age did make for tons more work than we've had with Javelin. It can be done though.


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## Naira (Jan 9, 2015)

Well I am glad everything is going well. With my first puppy, a toy poodle, there were many times I cried in frustration because of her. Sometimes I would get so much anxiety thinking about coming home and wondering what she did next...did she jump over her gate, shred her crate, potty pads and pee and poop all over the room again? I was young and inexperienced and she broke me down many times for a long time. Some days I really didn't like her. Even when I was home, I would crate her for a couple hours to give myself a break. 

Puppies are hard. Even good puppies are hard. Even if they aren't barking or destroying anything, there are a million other ways they can be frustrating. For me, Naira was a lot easier when she was really young and small. Now that she's big and energetic and testing her boundaries, she can be a bit of a "psycho" if she is around really stimulating things outside. 

So congratulations...you are getting through the first couple weeks with your puppy. Things will get better, and things will also get worse. Just being honest. Raising a puppy isn't a bag of sunshine. I'm not quite sure I want to do it again. But when you start bonding with your dog, your dog matures, he learns a little obedience, he knows what to expect etc...you will eventually see your dog maturing and all that hard work will pay off. 

Just last night I told Naira to sit from a distance when she was off leash and I saw someone coming out of their house. She's 1. A couple months ago she would have took off like a banshee for the person and would have been deaf to my commands. It just takes a lot of practice and repetition. 

Good luck and please please please keep us posted.


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## PoodleRick (Mar 18, 2013)

Tiny Poodles said:


> I don't disagree, but please let's try to give the OP the benefit of the doubt that they are stressed out with the new baby.
> Timi's nickname the first few months was "The Kraken " as in sorry everyone, time to release the... And alternately "The Thing" (from the movie), and Chuckie (from Child's Story).



Penny's nickname is Crazy or Whackadoodle. Like, ok Crazy, you wanna go outside? Or when she's vibrating with excitement for what seems like no reason at all, she'll hop on the couch next to me and start poking me with her nose to get me to play and I'll look at her and say You are such a whackadoodle. Then we play.

Rick


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## PoodleRick (Mar 18, 2013)

Gossamerpink said:


> Oh my gosh. I wanna cry. Exactly what Im going though. Im relieved to know that this is a normal phase. Ive had mine (2 of them!) for 6 weeks and I'd say that my life has changed. I have days when I'm very exhausted, I just cry. It's my first time to have puppies, and I did not expect how much work they'd bring. But most of the time, they bring me lots of giggles and tears of joy (when they learn new tricks or happily greet me). It gets better in time though, especially when I began accepting that in order to keep them in my life, it might take a year or two before my life would be normal again... only richer.


It's true, puppies are a P.I.A. just like kids but totally worth it. The difference between a puppy and a kid though is the kid grows up. A puppy grows into a dog but a dog is like having a 3 year old for 12 to 15 years. 

On another note, maybe it's my age or something. But I really enjoyed the puppy stage this time with Penny. There was a calmness that these things: chewing, crying, pulling on the leash, potty accidents, jumping on guests, will all soon pass. Maybe it's because Penny may very well be my last dog. I'll be retiring in ten years, Penny will only be 12 at that point, but she'll probably only have maybe 5 years left after that. My wife and I want to do a lot of traveling in retirement so it wouldn't be fair to have a dog so I've really made an effort to enjoy the moment, every moment with her. Kinda wish I'd have had the wherewithal to enjoy the kids when they were little and driving me nuts. Now they are 18 and almost 21 and off to college and I find myself wondering where the time went. Don't get me wrong, I was and am, a fully involved Dad and I loved all the baby/kid stuff we did together. I just wish I could have had my current outlook back then.

Anyway, long story short, enjoy your time with them because it goes by too fast.

Rick


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## dogdragoness (Oct 18, 2015)

While I do not have a poodle yet, I have had my fair share of puppies and they have ranged on the difficult scale. 

Bear, my JRT and first show dog as a junior handler was like the best most perfect puppy ever. He had a little bit of a fit in his crate when we brought him home but nothing bad, he never had an accident in the house, was easy to train and is still a joy to us (he now lives with my parents on their ranch since his retirement at 10, he is 15 1/2 now).

Izze, my ACD who passed away was the devil, plain and simple LOL. I couldnt crate train her because she would break out no matter what I did, so I ended up putting her in a dog safe room, then gradually allowing her more freedom as she got older.

Josefina was great in her crate, she nevr made a peep unless it was to potty, training was a nightmare because she is a rescue and her temperament is off.

Lincoln was terrible in his crate, too, he threw huge fits in there. banging around, screaming like a banshee, ramming the door with his head like a bull, etc ... but he got over it. 

You have only had this puppy a short time, give the poor baby a chance to adjust, it is an infant, and infants cry, she is alone in a strange place with strange people and smells, just try to be patient and understanding. I know it can be tough when you are sleep deprived LOL.

Thinks WILL eventually get better, just hang in there!


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## snmim (Sep 7, 2015)

I'm glad things are working out for you now. Puppies are hectic and if this is your first time (I don't know) having a puppy, there are moments which make you question if your puppy is normal, if they are potentially going to become an aggressive dog.. most of the time that is not the case and it is just normal puppy antics. Just realize that PF is with you. 

Mira's nickname the first few weeks with us was "Mutinee" which means "The Pee'er" in my language!


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## dogdragoness (Oct 18, 2015)

I think everyone who gets a puppy has buyers remorse at some point LOL


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## cmarrie (Sep 17, 2014)

Ask any of the regulars around here, and they'll confirm that I had a hard time bonding with my puppy about this time last year too, Heartpudel. In fact, I spent the first 6 months or so of my time with him actively keeping him at arms length. Of course, I wasn't very fond of the infant time with my son either. <shrug> Some people aren't built to deal with babies. The point is, it gets better. I recently had an opportunity to return him to my breeder, no harm/no foul, but I couldn't bear the thought of it. Imagine that! Keep teaching, keep rewarding good behavior even when you think your little furry monster isn't paying attention.

As for the hoover-action at the food dish. I can relate to that too. My guy was ravenous. RAVENOUS. As it turned out to my utter dismay and embarrassment: I'd been unknowingly underfeeding him and the poor guy really was starving. I had misunderstood my breeder and had been giving him 2 cups of kibble per day, rather than 2 servings a day of 2 cups. That's likely NOT your problem, but it never hurts to double check. Especially if you aren't feeding a "puppy" food. Puppies need more calories. BTW, 14 months later, (it didn't take nearly this long to train it) my guy does his "food dance" around the table while I scoop out his kibble. Then sits and waits for me to say "OK" before going and sucking it up like a drowning man gasping for air. I have, on occasion, forgotten to give the signal and gone about my morning making coffee and so on. He sits and waits patiently until I remember. THERE IS HOPE, LOL! I still break his daily food into breakfast, lunch and dinner. And you better believe he let's me know when it's meal time. (OH, the hovering...)

Hope tomorrow is a better day!!


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## jcwinks (Jun 26, 2010)

I think I may understand a bit what you are feeling... Maybe you feel that you did "something stupid" or you feel you were somehow"ripped off" I doubted myself a lot when we got our puppy... I kind of obsessed about whether we were given the right one and whether I made a bad decision ... Every little flaw in the puppy bothered me and I felt like I made a big mistake. This wore off as the calm people in my life reassured me... And then within a few days I grew more and more attached to the dog and so did our family... And now that is all a distant memory. We put our pup in a carrying crate and kept her on the bed with us so we could touch her at night when she got scared. Waking up to take the dog out is pretty tough and it is like having a little baby but it will pass soon. Our puppy pooped and peed in her crate...which I thought a dog would never do!!!! But that is all past now as well .... I think most dogs have some issues that we have to work on with training and if takes some determination and work...


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## dogdragoness (Oct 18, 2015)

I always have a bit of "what was I THINKING?!" when I bring home a new puppy, I have anxiety, so any change (whether it is my doing or not LOL) triggers it. But once we settle into a routine, everything goes back into place.


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## Sayde (Sep 28, 2015)

This is such a great thread. It has been 17 years since our old girl was a puppy, and I had forgotten so much of what that was like. This thread is helping me get mentally prepared for the new puppy to come. Thanks to everyone who responded to heartpudel -- know that others have also greatly benefitted!


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