# need advice on dog sleeping in bed at night



## TerryLynn (Oct 25, 2014)

Okay, 
I need some advice and thoughts (if we can make them nice and not degrading)
My 7 month old has been sleeping in our bed at night. He has never slept in his crate. I had one beside our bed but he never goes in it. He was sleeping on the floor of our bedroom. I have a dog bed that he never uses. 
We started letting him sleep in the bed with us at night. He has been doing this for a good three months now. However, he still needs me to get up at night with him to take him out to potty, and last night it was every two hours.
He also gets hot or restless and gets down during the night, and then wants help getting back in the bed. Needless to say we aren't getting a good nights rest. My husband refuses to crate him, says it is horrible to lock a dog in the crate at night, and our dog doesn't like the crate anyway. Any tips for me?
I think we have created a monster, and Know it will take some time to get this straightened out. Please be constructive. I will admit right now,,Im not a great trainer so please don't smack me around to much.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

Seems to me you have two choices: teach him to sleep in his own bed, in a crate or not, or make it easier for him to get on and off your bed. He will still need to get up in the night even if he is not on the bed (although a crate may teach him to hold it for a bit longer). Unless you have a truly enormous bed, I think I would opt for giving him his own space. It is probably not worth trying to convince your husband about crating, so I would encourage him to do some DIY instead! A really comfy dog bed beside your own, low enough for your pup to get in and out easily, but high enough for you to drop an arm over him until he is used to it, may be the quickest solution. If the legs or base were removable you could lower it once he is sleeping happily. Or build a low ottoman to act as a step up to the bed, if you prefer to have him in with you.

Or you could go cold turkey, give him a bed in a suitable room by himself, and wait out the plaintive howls until he learns to sleep alone...


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## TerryLynn (Oct 25, 2014)

thank you for that post. I am thinking of getting a youth bed to put right next to my side of the bed so he is up off the floor and has his own space until he adjusts to the bed then I can move it over a bit. 
thanks!


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## Carolinek (Apr 2, 2014)

I wouldn't beat yourself up too bad- you'll find lots of company here from folks whose dogs sleep with them! I'm one of them:act-up:

The one thing that struck me is that he is going out every two hours. That's pretty frequent for a 7 month old. Might want to make sure there's not an underlying medical issue first. If he's just restless, then maybe a good walk in the evening would help. 

Nobody getting any sleep can get old real quick. Do you want to crate him? If so, give him a really special chew at night and that may help him (and you ) feel better about it. Just don't give him anything too substantial that might cause him to need to go out and poop. A stuffed, frozen kong is a good idea- lasts a while. Will also help if he is restless.

A set of stairs up to the bed will keep him from whining to be "helped" back up. 

But I do think you probably want to figure out why he needs to go out every two hours. He should be well past that.

Good luck- keep us posted!


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

What if you try putting his bed on yours down by your feet as a way for him to look at it as a good place to sleep while still being near you? Also make his bed a rewarding place to be. Play with him with a favorite toy and/or give special treats for sitting or lying on his bed. Eventually you could then put the bed on the floor near you.

BTW Lily almost always spends the whole night and Peeves often spends at least part of the night on the bed with us. Last night it was really nice to have them there since the overnight low here was 6 deg. F!


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## mom2Zoe (Jun 17, 2014)

Why don't you make him a nice cozy bed on the floor next to you?
Is your bed high? My dog has been jumping on and off the bed for months. maybe you should buy some doggie stairs.
At 7 months i would think two hours is way too frequent, maybe he is bored and wants to play instead of sleep. I would try not to take him out once you know there isn't any medical issue.
Is it possible to let him sleep in a different room for a few nights and he can learn to settle himself back down? I know when my little ones slept in my room they would have never learned to sleep through the night if I kept them in my room and did not give them their own space. As soon as I did they slept through the night, maybe whimpering a little. They needed to learn to settle themselves without me.


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

Good point about the two hour interval being off Mom2Zoe. I thought about that a few minutes after I posted. Peeves went through a phase where he woke us up more than he could possibly have needed to go out. He just wanted to go on patrol. BF's answer was, "but what if he really needs to go, you wouldn't want to be made to wait." I thought he should be ignored and that if he was really insistent that meant he really needed to go.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

Is it every two hours every night, or was last night exceptional? I have had occasional nights with Poppy when it has felt like every 30 minutes - I don't know which of us was more exhausted! Diarrhoea can be a terrible thing... I do find that having her sleeping on the bed with me is actually an advantage though - I am now attuned to the sound of her soft little grunting whine as a signal to wake up and prepare to let her out. If she were in another room I suspect by the time she managed to make me aware it would already be far too late.


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## Michelle (Nov 16, 2009)

Crating Yuki the first few months really helped him learn to hold it...but in all honesty he would very rarely ask to go out in the middle of the night. I think he just didn't want to mess his cage so he held it until morning a full 8 hours (but he was almost 4 months when I got him). One night I fell asleep with him in my room and forgot to put him in his crate down stairs and he slept so quietly and didn't wake up once I let him sleep in here permanently...I'm going to be in big trouble when bf and I move in together and there's no room for him on the bed lol.

I would pick up water an hour or 2 before bed and feed him dinner around 5 or 6 (this is what we do with our dogs)...that way he has nothing in his system where he will NEED to go out during the night. At 7 months he shouldn't need to go out every 2 hours, all of our dogs were holding it thru the night since they were pups. I agree and think he is probably just bored and wants to get some fresh air (such a smartypants lol). I'd try to break the habit now, I know you'll feel bad but don't let him in the bed if it disturbs your sleep. Ignore him and he will find a place to sleep and get comfortable. You could always teach him to "go to bed" and he will go to his bed when you tell him.


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## glorybeecosta (Nov 11, 2014)

I never had a poodle go out that much when they were over 4 months, might want to have him checked out. However in an earlier post I noted Cayenne pee-peeing 3 times in a row for cookies, he may just want attention. My one goes out side no more than 2 3 at the most in a day (and will sit down when offered), naturally the one using the potty pad goes 4 ot 5 times a day. The both sleep with me and never get me up, on weekend I stay in for 10 hours. Bella my 7 year old, I actually haveto wake her up of a morining


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## TerryLynn (Oct 25, 2014)

Thanks so much for all your comments. They were very helpful. Usually he only goes out a couple of times a night so it hasn't been so bad. Last night he just was restless or something. He hasn't been on walks for the past 4 days because he slipped out of his collar on the last walk and nearly got hit by a car. 
Looking for a better collar before we go back out, he likes to lunge at cars. 
The good news is today we got our new fence and our back yard is completely fenced , (about an acre) He has been running around it ever since I turned him out, chasing birds and balls etc. I am so happy about that!

I am working on fixing his bed so it is more comfy for him. I plan to tire him out before bed, take his food and water up at 6. We go to the bedroom at 8pm,
so I am going to let him lay in bed with us, I do have a blanket of his at the foot of the bed and have had that all this time. If he gets up, I plan to not let him back up. Maybe this will teach him once he gets down its the floor.
I did have an ottoman for him to jump up on beside to bed to help him but guess he is afraid of the dark,, afraid he will fall, or just too darn lazy to jump back up himself. My husband says we need to start a new association called the S.A.D. (spoiled ass dog)
Thanks guys!!!!


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## Specman (Jun 14, 2012)

Max tends to go out a couple of times a night so I feel your pain! I usually get up with him to avoid accidents and not break potty training. Sometimes I can get him to stay if I have to get up, sometimes not.

The interesting thing is that we have had 20" of snow an very cold temperature recently and Max has not stirred a peep at night since the snow came. I hope I can reinforce this behavior before conditions outside improve!


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## Carolinek (Apr 2, 2014)

TerryLynn said:


> Thanks so much for all your comments. They were very helpful. Usually he only goes out a couple of times a night so it hasn't been so bad. Last night he just was restless or something. He hasn't been on walks for the past 4 days because he slipped out of his collar on the last walk and nearly got hit by a car.
> Looking for a better collar before we go back out, he likes to lunge at cars.
> The good news is today we got our new fence and our back yard is completely fenced , (about an acre) He has been running around it ever since I turned him out, chasing birds and balls etc. I am so happy about that!
> 
> ...


Too funny- S.A.D. I have three qualifying members for your organization!


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

TerryLynn, get a martingale collar. It is way harder for them to slip out of a martingale.


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## sweetheartsrodeo (Sep 19, 2012)

I will say I love having Remington in bed with me, but Jackson sleeps in his own bed. Remington sleeps all night, but Jackson like to play... Occasionally he will wake me up with a squeeky toy or chirping... But a few rubs on the head and he entertains himself in his play-pen. Now, there is a difference between a toy and standard for sure  My point is that you have to do what works for you. We are all here to learn something and get others' points of view but at the end of the day you have to take the advice that will make you, your hubby, and your pup happiest. 

Good luck!


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## Lou (Sep 22, 2012)

Me personal opinion : 
 

I LOVE the crates, my poodles LOVE their crates, it's like their own little caves, where they take peaceful naps without worrying about anything at all.... ?????

They love nap time , just like a little kid, and they act so much calmer and well behaved after a nap ?

AND if there's an urgent matter and I need to KNOW the dogs will be okay, I can say "nap time" and go deal with whatever issue and come back to cute yawns and stretching play-bows and sweet lazy cuddles... 

Proof that they like their little "poodle-cave" ... They walk right in on their own no need to drag them upstairs or anything  (VIDEO)

I think it's a blessing to have a "ME time" when needed also  


I think you can maybe put the crate on the bed the first day, and then on the floor by the side of the bed, starting with short periods of time and yummy treats? If you want yo yo the crate route. My 2 sleep on the bed also, but Apollo prefers the crate, he'll hop off eventually and sleep through the nite in his crate with it's door open. And Lou stays in bed all spread-eagle all night, sleeps like a rock! LOL 

Ps. Playing fetch or running and making sure they're tired also makes for good continuous sleep  

tired puppy = sleepy puppy = happy puppy = happy poodle-mom  

http://youtu.be/1PXGhOgTr9g


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## mom2m (Dec 24, 2014)

Having a fenced yard should help him get tired!

Our Finn gets up on the bed for cuddles, then goes to his bed for sleeping (the one that's in our room). If he gets hot, he gets up and stretches out on the floor. Since we don't want to step on him, I've moved the mickey mouse LED light into the master bedroom for now. (Just FYI, Finn is 2, we adopted him about 4 weeks ago). I had a crate for him, he wanted nothing to do with it, so I took it down.

Our Midnight was supposedly crate trained when we brought her home. Let's just say I've NEVER seen an animal respond like that to a crate. We ended up in the middle of the night washing the puppy and the crate. The next night I put her bed next to ours, told her to go to bed and she did. And stayed there all night. She would get up with us, but rarely for the whole night. Once she hurt her back (disc), she just stayed off the bed.

I'd try putting the bed next to yours and telling the puppy to go to bed. Just keep doing it...he'll figure it out. And hopefully be too tired to fuss!


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## Naira (Jan 9, 2015)

Your husband sounds like such a sweetheart lol.

For me, I wouldn't let my dog sleep in bed with me at night until they could make it through the whole night without having to get up for a potty break. I've found that starting in the crate is best for me...even though those early nights in the crate can be a terror if a dog doesn't like crates...I feel that the dog is better off in the long run knowing how to settle in a crate. And hopefully that calmness will transfer over to your bed!

When I first got Naira, I actually had a friend visiting at the time and she started to whine in her crate the first night and howling for her littermates...so I ended up compromising (ONLY because my friend had an interview to wake up for in the morning) and letting her sleep on top of me on the couch. Once the friend left, I crated her at night for a week until I learned her more and realized how great her bladder control was.

Her 2nd week home I tried sleeping with her on the bed, but she was really quite annoying (lol) and whiny so I continued with the crate for another week. This is now her 3rd week home and she's been sleeping in the bed with me, falling asleep pretty instantaneously and not moving much throughout the night. I have never before let a dog sleep with me before they were 1 year old (and still had it bite me in the butt), but she's different.

So in summary, I would make sure they understood the concept of/are developmentally mature enough to hold it through the night first...a tired owner isn't good for a learning puppy


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## BorderKelpie (Dec 3, 2011)

I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised how well he will sleep after romping in the yard so much today. He also may require more mental stimulation, too. You might want to consider some mind games to help wear him out. 

Is there a membership fee to join the SAD association? I'm thinking I may need to join.


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## patk (Jun 13, 2013)

BorderKelpie said:


> ...
> Is there a membership fee to join the SAD association? I'm thinking I may need to join.


why did i assume you were a founding member? :biggrin1:


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## BorderKelpie (Dec 3, 2011)

patk said:


> why did i assume you were a founding member? :biggrin1:


Why, patk, I'm going to take that as a (twisted) compliment. That actually made me laugh. All by myself, in my office, at work - again. This forum is going to end up costing me a psych evaluation. lol

I'll start working on the association's secret handshake.


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## patk (Jun 13, 2013)

BorderKelpie said:


> Why, patk, I'm going to take that as a (twisted) compliment. That actually made me laugh. All by myself, in my office, at work - again. This forum is going to end up costing me a psych evaluation. lol
> 
> I'll start working on the association's secret handshake.


read my sig!
:bootyshake: :aetsch:


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## BorderKelpie (Dec 3, 2011)

You will go down in history with your awesome quotes. You deserve to be famous.

OK, getting mooned at work is fun. Well, not usually, but your little yellow guy thing is cute!
(and yes, I have been mooned, and worse, here at work.)


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