# My poodle does not like to cuddle much



## CharismaticMillie (Jun 16, 2010)

Eh, not all poodles are cuddly. My family's first poodle was a wonderful dog - my mom's heart dog - very loyal and attached to her. BUT, he didn't like to cuddle. He preferred to have his own space. 

Henry is a total goober, very different from our first poodle. He will lay right on top of you in the morning. Millie is somewhere in between the two. She looks to be next to me but doesn't necessarily want to cuddle. She does kiss though!


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## Birdie (Jun 28, 2009)

Sounds like my dog. He's not much of a cuddler unless I'm laying on the floor or in bed (and in bed he only sits with me briefly). Never gives kisses on the face or anything either. For a while, I was worried he loved my mom more than me! I do all of his training, grooming, playing, though we both take him out & feed him. He loooves it when she comes home, though. She is "Grandma" and spoils him accordingly with a nice treat whenever she comes home, and she sneaks cheese on his dinner even though I tell her not to... as a result, he gets really excited when she gets home or feeds him. I mistook that for him "loving" her more, but realized that I really am his mommy! He loves me more than I thought- when I am not home, he lays by the door and waits for me (he does this if I am in another room of the house, too). If he's not there, my mom can say "Where's Julia?" and he will get all excited and dash over to the door because he thinks I may be home- it's so sweet! 
I'm sure your baby loves you very much. He knows that you are the one who cares for him, even if your husband plays more. I think that even though you are tougher on him, he loves you very much, but he may not think of you as a play-buddy like he does your husband. Maybe you can step in and play too, or invite him to cuddle with you more. Maybe he just wants to be given the "ok" to do so.


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## Purley (May 21, 2010)

That is Lucy exactly. She sits on the opposite end of the sofa. Even if I call her up on the sofa, she will get up near me - and then go and sit at the other end. If she sits on the bed, she will sit at the end of the bed beside Sam, my older Shih-tzu. 

But when I go out, my husband says she stands on the sofa and looks out of the window. Sometimes she cries the whole time. I am sure she thinks she is my dog. She loves my husband too. But she is just not a cuddly dog and I don't think she ever will be. I guess you don't know until you get the dog home exactly what its personality is going to be. I just accept that she's like that.


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## Panda (Jan 7, 2010)

How old is he? Panda didn't used to be a cuddler and then one day he just decided he loved cuddles and he gets more and more cuddly every day.

Now at just over 1 he loves nothing more than snuggling up with his mummy, he sleeps in our bed and cuddles up next to me with his head on my pillow 

I would have a pocket full of treats if I was you, and give him some for choosing to come close to you. Some dogs are not big cuddlers but that doesnt mean he wont learn to love it. Make sure you play with him every day too or just do some trick training for fun so he sees you as a really fun person to be around.

Panda LOVES trick training and it really helps build our bond.

Good luck


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## robin (Dec 18, 2010)

I had this situation almost exactly with Boon and my then-husband.

Then-husband refused to discipline Boon, let him get away with murder, sneaked food from his plate to the dog (thus creating a beggar), never cleaned up a piddle or a poop, never took him to a class, never never never. All he did was play with the dog.

It bugged me, too, to see Boon's absolute joy when then-husband walked in the door. I mean, I was glad they got along and all, but it kind of hurt my feelings.

And then one day, then-husband called to me from another room -- raised his voice, in other words. Boon ran to him and growled. "Don't you raise your voice at my mom!" he seemed to be saying. And ever after that, if then-husband raised his voice -- or his hand, in a gesture -- Boon would plant himself between us.

Panda's suggestion about trick training is excellent. But don't confuse your dog knowing that one person is his "play-pretty" with loving that one more. He doesn't, I assure you. ^_^

best,
robin


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

I would simply play with him more - there is nothing that says that just because you enforce the rules, you can't be fun, too! When Sophy was growing up life seemed to become very serious, somehow. We spent time together out walking, or training, or teaching her to settle down and be calm, but somehow forgot about simply having fun. I was never in doubt that she loved me, but did feel something was not quite as happy as it could be. So I made time every day to get down on the floor and play with her - tug, tummy tickles, hide the toy - whatever she enjoyed most, and a bit of wrestling as well. It made a big difference.


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## 2719 (Feb 8, 2011)

I agree with the consensus that all Poodles have different personalities. I have four spoos and two are absolute cuddle crazies. The other two love to be with me..but do not want to cuddle.

One of my first spoos refused, refused, refused to give kisses. She would just turn her head away. Now all four of my current spoos are kiss crazy.

As for the discipline..that is me..yet they all adore me. So like I say...all Poodles are their each unique being.


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## JE-UK (Mar 10, 2010)

My poodle isn't really a cuddler either, although he loves lying on top of me on the sofa for Saturday afternoon naps. And when I'm out of town, my S.O. lets him up on the bed (bad dog! bad S.O.!) for cuddling.

I think some dogs just aren't. 

I agree with what others said about training and playing with the dog. Any interaction makes the bond stronger. Ours doesn't really prefer me over my S.O., because we both train him ... I do obedience and trick training and my S.O. handles him in agility (mostly, although I fill in when he's unable to). It really does make your dog bond more closely. And they love it!


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## Pup's mom (Mar 15, 2011)

Pup is an 11 year old love bug. He is so used to being hugged, kissed, petted, nuzzled, having someone whisper love words in his ears .. he rolls over on his back and gives me his belly to scratch .. some times I have to remind him he is a majestic Standard Poodle and not some ole hound 

I have snuggled, kissed and hugged and been very affectionate with this dog since he was 3 months old. He is very attached to my husband too. I always thought it was the breed and that we all live together all the time.. there is no place for just the dog .
I did his early training classes with him and was a mom at home with him. Now we are all home together and also travel together so he knows we are a unit, the 3 of us.

I would not let this bother me ... yet.
I would just keep being affectionate and take him for walks and give him attention .. Pup will come up on the sofa with me for a snuggle but he won't stay long. He is more comfortable on his own bed or the floor. But he is affectionate .. he kisses the housekeeper too. . Of course, she goes on and on in Spanish babytalk to him .. God knows what she is promising him..


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## DorothyB (Apr 10, 2011)

all that jazz said:


> I'm almost embarrassed posting this. I have two concerns that I am sad about. One, my poodle does not like to cuddle much or kiss and two, he loves my husband more.


My husband can feel your pain. When we went to meet Parker, he was very negative about getting him. Parker was eleven months old and he wanted a puppy and Parker was "too expensive." But when we met him, Hubby feel in love. I was ready to walk away. Parker had been raised in a kennel, was not house broken and was very shy. I wanted a home raised dog which I could use for therapy work. Shy wouldn't cut it. But all my hints and raised eyebrows were to no avail and Parker came home with us.

Although I'm with Parker all day while my husband goes to work and often is on the road, away from home, when he is here, he and Parker go for long walks together every morning. Parker obviously loves these walks and looks forward to them and treats Hubby very lovingly while they are out together. But once they get home, he's all mine. To the point where he won't even enter a room if Hubby is there.

It just goes to show that dogs make their own decisions about who to love and how. Although you can make generalizations about breeds, individual dogs are just that -- individuals. While some breeds are known to be tough, single owner breeds, like Australian Cattle Dogs, some members of the breed aren't. Like our very soft CowDog who loves every member of her family and lets our little Papillon walk all over her. While some breeds, like Standard Poodles, are known to be easy to house train, some members, like our Parker, take forever.

It is what it is. Any chance you can get another dog? Of course, that might backfire on you and you end up with two dogs who hate to cuddle and who adore your husband!


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

I sometimes wonder if part of it is down to very early experiences. Poppy can be nervous around new people, especially men, but she loved one of my neighbours at first sight. He is tall, and dark, and I suspect he remind her of the husband of her breeder, who used to spend a lot of time cuddling her and playing with her. Perhaps when pups have not met many people, they are more influenced by those few they do meet, and make stronger associations between things like sex, shape, voice, etc, etc and who is likely to give them attention.


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## John Rambo (Feb 27, 2011)

My boy John Rambo loves my wife and will cuddle more with him than with me(which does not bother me). We both administer disciple equally, he is just a momma's boy. I believe each dog is unique in its velcro/cuddle meter, but i will add in my experiences with my other dogs are much more attention hounds/cuddle freaks (schnauzers - giant and mini), but the standard poodle is an amazing breed - dont feel bad if he doesnt cuddle much yet. I would play with him more, and sneak him a treat, take him on one on one walks!!!!!:act-up:


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## zyrcona (Jan 9, 2011)

Hi Jazz, I don't think your dog loves your husband more. Your dog loves you, and because you are doing all the right things (setting boundaries and taking responsibility for the less 'fun' things in his life) he looks up to you as his leader. It sounds like your husband doesn't behave like a senior member of the family, and your dog sees him as equal or lower than him, and thus a good person to play with and have his way with. The moving away from you when you come to sit down I'd say was an act of respect as well -- the dog is just making room for you and giving you personal space.

There is a certain man in my life whom my dog thinks is the omega pack member simply because of the way he behaves towards her. When he comes into the house she goes mad and jumps on him, knocking his glasses off and licking him in the face and humping him. Sometimes he will even lie on his back on the floor and let the dog walk on him, even though I have told him not to do this. There is no point in me telling the dog not to behave this way with him, because from her point of view this is his position in the family and she's entitled to treat him like this.

My dog sleeps on my bed, but she knows she has to behave herself here and she's not allowed on the bed until I say she can come on. When I get up in the morning, I go downstairs and let her out and she does a wee and a poo. As soon as she comes back in, she tears upstairs, kicks open the door to Omega Man's bedroom, and pounces on him in bed, where she licks and paws at him until he gets up. On occasions, Omega Man has tried to take the dog out with him, and she has come back in to the house to be with me of her own accord because she doesn't feel comfortable following him. As I say to him, "She _loves _you. She just doesn't _respect _you."

Do you play games with your dog? Because he sees you as senior, he will expect you to initiate the playing. Since he sees your husband as not senior to him, the husband will be the first obvious choice of someone to pester for a game. Playing fetch or doing agility games together, if you don't already do them, would be a good way of doing something more fun with your dog.

Some dogs, especially some younger dogs, are too fidgety to be cuddly, but you can train cuddliness with treats the same as you can train most other behaviours. ;-)


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