# Today has been tough



## Skylar (Jul 29, 2016)

((((Hugs)))) This is the place to share your grief and deep love for Cooper. We understand, we've all had to put down beloved pets. It's part of a healthy grieving.


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## Sole0102 (Nov 23, 2020)

Skylar said:


> ((((Hugs)))) This is the place to share your grief and deep love for Cooper. We understand, we've all had to put down beloved pets. It's part of a healthy grieving.


Thank you ❤


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## cowpony (Dec 30, 2009)

I'm glad you are still posting. You are part of the community, just like everyone else who has loved a poodle. What kind a community would we be to deny that love?


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## Sole0102 (Nov 23, 2020)

cowpony said:


> I'm glad you are still posting. You are part of the community, just like everyone else who has loved a poodle. What kind a community would we be to deny that love?


That's so nice of you to say. Thank you x


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## 94Magna_Tom (Feb 23, 2021)

Completely understandable. I too was looking forward to you showering Cooper with love this week. Hope you stick around as your input is still valuable to us all. Thank you for sharing that beautiful picture of Cooper at the beach😍! So sad he had to leave us all so soon😢. 
🙏


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## Rose n Poos (Sep 22, 2017)

Of course, we want you to stay. Cry with us, laugh with us, but stay, please. Most of us know that too still, too empty feeling and we'll understand. 

Your heart is generous and in giving understanding and guidance to one, and pieces of happiness to others you set an example that PF is lucky to have.


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## daabor (Jan 31, 2019)

Sole0102, I have been thinking about you and your family constantly. Your daughter's tribute to Cooper was beautiful, heartwarming and heart wrenching. Cooper's facial expressions show that he lived a very happy and mutually well loved life. I'm so sorry for the deafening silence his absence has left in your home and in your heart.

Your empathy and compassion towards the dog that attacked Cooper and his/her new owners is remarkable. I am certain I could not have handled this situation with anywhere close to the grace that you have shown. 

The casket that you have chosen is beautiful. 

You are truly admirable. I hope Cooper's donated toys/belongings bring joy to many shelter dogs waiting for their forever homes. Although horrific, I pray that over time the circumstances of Cooper's death fade and you are able to replace those images with cherished, happy memories.

I am so sorry Sole.


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## PeggyTheParti (Sep 5, 2019)

The conversation you had with that dog’s human was a hard one and so very kind. Big hugs to you.


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## Little Milo (Sep 1, 2021)

I, too, have been thinking of you. I wondered how you were doing, and hoped you would continue to post. This community wouldn’t be the same without you. It’s a privilege to share this space where we can honor Cooper’s memory.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

I too have been thinking of you and your family - do keep posting if it helps, even a little. Sometimes putting your thoughts into writing can ease the pain. Some dogs make a huge impact in a short time, and Cooper was a shining example.


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## WinnieThePoodle (Sep 1, 2020)

Please continue to share your memories of Cooper. I hope it helps you cope with your loss. I still cry over the loss of my first dog and that was nearly 10 years ago. I still miss her.


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## Finn's mum (Mar 11, 2019)

Thinking of you, sharing Cooper with us all on PF, the joy, the pain and now your grief is all part of the cycle of life. Cooper and you too Sole are members of this community and we are here to support you how we can. Even if to just know others are thinking of you 💕


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## curlflooffan (Mar 27, 2020)

I am glad that the owner has accepted responsibility and is prepared to take the necessary steps to prevent this situation happening again. However, I must admit that this is one of the reasons why I have reservations about these importing rescue programmes. I looked at rescues before I looked at breeders and I ended up deciding to not go to these importing rescues. Its just exactly this, there is no way to predict how a street dog who was transported to a shelter and then made to travel for hours, if not days, will behave in a home/urban environment. While this situation can also happen with dogs born from local breeders or adopted from local shelters, I just find it difficult to believe that most street dogs are able to transition peacefully into modern life.


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

We will always be here for you. There will be hard, sad days and we all know what those are like (been there ourselves). I wish you had been able to carry through every moment of your plan for happy time to say goodbye more than anything in the world right now. Cooper is running freely and flying like the wind over the bridge right now and I am sure he is making friends with all our PF friends who are on the other side.


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

curlflooffan said:


> I am glad that the owner has accepted responsibility and is prepared to take the necessary steps to prevent this situation happening again. *However, I must admit that this is one of the reasons why I have reservations about these importing rescue programmes. I looked at rescues before I looked at breeders and I ended up deciding to not go to these importing rescues. Its just exactly this, there is no way to predict how a street dog who was transported to a shelter and then made to travel for hours, if not days, will behave in a home/urban environment.* While this situation can also happen with dogs born from local breeders or adopted from local shelters, I just find it difficult to believe that most street dogs are able to transition peacefully into modern life.


Family members of mine adopted dogs from Puerto Rico after the hurricane put a ton of dogs into shelters and rescues there. The two dogs they adopted through a local rescue were not given over from homes. They were street dogs. They are crazy messes, psychologically so damaged that one member of the household insists they can never be alone in the home (not even while crated). We have not had a complete family gathering in ages over these dogs. I find it very sad. Sometimes for a deeply PTSD type dog the kinder thing is to free them from their psychological suffering.


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## MaizieFrosty (Apr 12, 2019)

Here's a song for you, dear: Tasha Layton // Into The Sea (It's Gonna Be Ok) // [Official Lyric Video] - YouTube


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## Minie (Oct 4, 2021)

What is so great about this forum is ll the support for better and for worse. In good times and bad. Sole0102 keep posting and sharing. You and your family need all the support you can get


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## Sole0102 (Nov 23, 2020)

Thank you for your kind responses. I am very conflicted in how I am feeling right now. Everyone I know is saying we need to get another dog, we even know someone who has 2 chocolate standard poodle puppies for sale right now. The parents are KC registered as are the puppies. They are fully vaccinated, health checked, microchipped etc.They are girls and big chunky pups. 

I am missing Cooper so much but I am also missing the company and presence that a dog brought to our home. I am hoping that I can be honest and not judged on here. I am devastated at how Cooper's life ended, he deserved much better than that. However, I think that with all of Cooper's ill health, we always knew we were living on a knife edge and that he wasn't destined to be in this world for long. My sister said to me today "You committed to spend the next 10 to 15 years with Cooper when you brought him home. Unfortunately, you never got the chance to have him for that time. Your time together was very short lived and you always knew that he was unwell. I think you deserve to have a dog and experience life with a dog without chronic health problems". I think we had somehow prepared ourselves for Cooper leaving us and we wanted him to be free of suffering. We never wanted to say goodbye to him and we love him so much. My kids, who are 19 and 14 years old are both saying the house feels empty, not just without Cooper but without the company of a dog. Has anyone else felt this way before? I think if you had seen Cooper over the past few months, you would have known he was slowing down and his life was gradually coming to an end and it was such a struggle his whole life that I think I am relieved for him to be at peace and I mean for him. 

I hope that what I have said comes across in the right way. I don't want to replace Cooper, he is completely irreplaceable. I think I feel an injustice for all of us, Cooper included because we know the kind of life he could have had.

Thanks for taking the time to read this x


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## MaizieFrosty (Apr 12, 2019)

I can pretty confidently say that we all understand exactly what you are saying. I can imagine the anxiety you had in knowing Cooper's life would be short and having to see him be sick for most of his life. 

I know how badly you want to have that love in your home again, but I would encourage you to consider going through the grieving process before welcoming another dog. I made the mistake of rushing the process many years ago when I lost my heart dog, Penelope, and I never bonded to the new dog (which became a family dog instead). But, this timing is a very individual thing and if you feel like you can love and accept a new puppy now, then go for it  

As for the brown standard pups, just remember that registration has nothing to do with quality, and puppies should only have had one parvo/distemper shot and one bordetella at this age--any more is too much and I would not accept a puppy that was over-vaccinated. _ETA: I don't know how old the brown pups are--I was assuming 8 weeks old! Remember that the socialization window closes at 16 weeks, so I would want a puppy well before then, but not before 8 weeks old!_ We have a thread about how to buy a puppy safely and that would be a very worthwhile read. Even then, of course, it is always a risk when you adopt a new puppy, even from a good breeder. Honestly, the more I learn about COI, the more I think I want my next dog to be a complete mutt with really high genetic diversity.

Anyhow, you can bet that we will all support you in whatever decision you make.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

I know exactly how you feel - coping with long term illness is emotionally draining, and knowing the end will come soon but not exactly when even more so. Timing of another puppy is a very personal thing - I have in the past needed a warm puppy immediately to get me through the dark nights and days. That was Sophy, and she helped to heal my heartache. But it is easy to rush into it too soon, and to find yourself still yearning for the dog that was rather than the new little one. Only you and your family can make the decision - I would discuss it amongst you, and if you are all agreed start contacting the breeders at the top of your list.


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## Minie (Oct 4, 2021)

You and your family are grieving at the moment. Grief is dealt with in many different ways and are all legitimate. I have suffered tremendous grief and loss in a short time span and what worked for me, was getting on with day to day activities. Others I know of needed to draw back and slow down. What is right for you is something only you know. It will be full of conflicting feelings and ambivalence. 
The thing about love is that it is exponential. The more you love, the more love there is. Nothing and no one can ever replace Cooper, but that should not prevent you from sharing the same love with another. The emptiness you feel is the void of a loved one. If Cooper was not loved, then there would not be the feeling of a void.
Just give yourself the time to choose the right pup. When the time is right you will know. 🤗


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## For Want of Poodle (Feb 25, 2019)

Sole0102 said:


> Thank you for your kind responses. I am very conflicted in how I am feeling right now. Everyone I know is saying we need to get another dog, we even know someone who has 2 chocolate standard poodle puppies for sale right now. The parents are KC registered as are the puppies. They are fully vaccinated, health checked, microchipped etc.They are girls and big chunky pups.
> 
> I am missing Cooper so much but I am also missing the company and presence that a dog brought to our home. I am hoping that I can be honest and not judged on here. I am devastated at how Cooper's life ended, he deserved much better than that. However, I think that with all of Cooper's ill health, we always knew we were living on a knife edge and that he wasn't destined to be in this world for long. My sister said to me today "You committed to spend the next 10 to 15 years with Cooper when you brought him home. Unfortunately, you never got the chance to have him for that time. Your time together was very short lived and you always knew that he was unwell. I think you deserve to have a dog and experience life with a dog without chronic health problems". I think we had somehow prepared ourselves for Cooper leaving us and we wanted him to be free of suffering. We never wanted to say goodbye to him and we love him so much. My kids, who are 19 and 14 years old are both saying the house feels empty, not just without Cooper but without the company of a dog. Has anyone else felt this way before? I think if you had seen Cooper over the past few months, you would have known he was slowing down and his life was gradually coming to an end and it was such a struggle his whole life that I think I am relieved for him to be at peace and I mean for him.
> 
> ...


7 days after my collie was unexpectedly killed, my parents had a new dog in the house. They were very different dogs, but being dog free isn't really a thing my family does. 

5 days after my life aligned itself so that I could have a dog, I had Annie in my house. 

Zero judgement from me. If Annie was to die tomorrow, I suspect I would be looking at puppies very soon. 

Do check the puppies for their parents health screenings. Hips, genetic, etc. To be honest, vaccination and worming are my lowest concerns. I also would be skeptical if they are calling them chocolate poodles, as chocolate isn't a poodle colour (it's brown) and tends to be used by BYBs.


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## Sole0102 (Nov 23, 2020)

Thank you for being understanding. I have to clarify that I am not considering these puppies, my kids certainly were though 😂. It was also myself who used the term chocolate, not the breeder but only because my daughter said they look like a chocolate colour. They are 12 weeks old, mum was the same colour as a puppy but has cleared to cafe au lait and dad is a brown and white parti poodle. 

I think I was asking the question more for me because I honestly can't imagine my life without another dog. Cooper gave me a reason to be active everyday. We hadn't been on many walks with him over the past couple of months and we all missed that. I think for me, I would be wanting to start looking at reputable breeders in the new year. I am considering a standard instead of a mini this time, unless anyone thinks that's not a good idea 😂😂. My thoughts are that we will have a new dog sometime in the next 6 months. I just wondered what others had done or if people thought that was too soon. I want another dog to experience the love and adventure that Cooper had x


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

You have mentioned that you have mobility issues - you may want to consider the impact of a standard poodle puppy bounce if your balance is not good. They can be big, rambunctious pups.


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

I think your sister was very wise about you having been deprived of the long life you expected to have with Cooper. I know everything you are feeling is very acute and muddled up, but I also think one of the most generous ways to honor Cooper is to open your heart to all of the love you have to lavish on a new dog. If not one of these brown spoo pups then another pup will come along before you know it. I think I would be planning for one of those brown pups


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## Sole0102 (Nov 23, 2020)

The puppies are very cute however, I would like to experience what I did with Cooper. We knew him when he was only 3 days old and the wait to get him was one of pure excitement and pure agony 😂. I would like that same experience again. I walk with a frame and Cooper learned to walk beside it beautifully because he never knew any different. He learned quickly that if he got too close, his toes would be run over. Mosley, the bulldog, is a very strong boy but never pulls if I have his lead. I'm the only person he walks to heel for because he knows I'm not as able. I hope I can have that same relationship with our next poodle. I also have the added benefit of Cooper's trainer Lou, who has turned into a friend. She messages me almost daily and has told me that whenever we get another puppy, she will be there right from the start. We will get it used to being handled by the vet, groomer etc and she will help with lead training too. Cooper would pull on the lead with the kids, not always but never did it with me. He just knew. Another thing that Mosley will try with everyone else except from me is that overexcited boy thing 😉 I made a deal with him that if he tries that with me, he loses his butt scratches. He has never done it to me once 😂😂😂.


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## cowpony (Dec 30, 2009)

I think the right time varies for different people, and it even varies depending on your mood and life stage. All else being equal, I think it would be better to wait until spring, as housebreaking a puppy with snow on the ground is very unpleasant.

I normally replace my dearly departed cats as soon as possible; it just doesn't feel right not to have a cat in my house. However, I always choose a new cat with different color and hair texture than the previous one. I want and need this visual reminder that the new cat is his own being; I mustn't expect the new cat to slot right into the same place in my life.

I lost both my dogs in 2020. I considered another breed after Snarky died, for the same reasons I get different colored cats. I wanted the puppy to come in as his own self. Portuguese Water Dog and Irish Water Spaniel were both on my list. However, I couldn't find an IWS breeder in my area, and the Porty breeders I investigated were just a bit too quirky for my comfort. Galen just kind of fell into my lap. I probably got Galen too soon after Snarky died. Galen was born within a day or two of Snarky's death, so he came home less than two months later. I was still mourning deeply, but I wanted Pogo to have a companion. Galen was a high energy, high drive, difficult puppy. There were many days when I was angry at him for being a pain in the butt and angry at him for not being Snarky. Of course I did my best to treat him fairly; it wasn't his fault I had unreasonable expectations. Now I can't imagine living without him; working with his drive and intelligence is like driving a responsive and nimble sports car. It took a lot of work over many weeks to build this relationship, however.

Ritter came home around 8 months after Pogo died. I didn't mourn as hard after Pogo died as I did after Snarky. Nursing Pogo through his final weeks of cancer made it easier to let go; I didn't have the sudden unexpected snap of loss I experienced with Snarky. I think 8 months was the right spacing for me to bring in a new puppy; 6 months probably would have been good too. I definitely bonded much more quickly to Ritter than to Galen. Ritter was an easier puppy than Galen, but he is a more difficult adolescent right now.


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## Starla (Nov 5, 2020)

I reached out to Phoebe’s breeder just days after we said goodbye to Starla, and 4 months later Phoebe came home. I had waited ~30 years for my standard poodle and she was only with us for a few months. It wasn’t about replacing Starla, she can never be replaced. Until Phoebe, I was still crying over Starla almost daily. Phoebe was really integral in helping me heal. It really is such a personal decision, and no one here is going to judge you as rushing too quickly or waiting too long. Or if they do, they keep it to themselves!


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## Mfmst (Jun 18, 2014)

I have to say, I’m still thinking about your daughters’ tribute to Cooper. I wept. Take your time in grief, longing memories. 

I had to suddenly, unexpectedly had to have our last Scottie euthanized. 6 month projected life expectancy, but need to amputate a leg and do chemo and radiation first. There was no other humane or ethical choice. He was nearly 14 and had lived the good life. DH made the decision, because I was paralyzed with disbelief. Dear Charlie was old and Cooper was not. I wish that you had had more time together and you have all my condolences. Grief is the price we pay for love. Hugs to you and the family.


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## Rose n Poos (Sep 22, 2017)

Nothing but understanding from us all. We'll be thrilled for you when you find the right puppy love to bring into your lives. This love is something Cooper helped build for you. It honors you both to share that love with the next soul that needs you.


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## Streetcar (Apr 13, 2014)

Love and hugs from Oliver and me. As others have said, it's individual and neither good nor bad as long as a choice comes from a place of good wisdom and strong wishes blended together. Just be aware, during grief we can sometimes be influenced where otherwise we might not tread. 💖


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## The Popster (Feb 23, 2021)

Really feel for you.
Very much.💔


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## Mufar42 (Jan 1, 2017)

You will know when the right pup comes along. I honestly had no intention of getting another dog . Renn is a standard and is a good 68 lbs of energy. Though now that he will soon be 4 he has calmed down significantly. Though outdoors he still can get excited and forget his manners from time to time. I also am beginning to have mobility issues and though my love is standards I would think twice. Most standards I know are full of energy. Now that being said...I didn't really intend to get an additional dog however our local rescue took in several 5 month old standards. A local person had one she was fostering and something came up and they needed a new placement for him. I went and met him. He was the calmest standard poodle I ever met and was very slight in his build. He ended up coming home with me. He is nothing like my well bred standard but he is a nice fellow. His demeanor is so much calmer even though he can be a rebel now that he has acclimated to my home. But he is small, he is about 35-40 lbs now but his bone structure is slight, very lean. He is much more manageable to walk as even when he gets overly excited he is so lightweight that it doesn't really affect me. Now we also lost our boxer, he was really a family "heart" dog. I couldn't bring myself to have another, still can't. though now I know I'm finished with raising pups, LOL. Good luck time does help and the right one does manage to find a way to you.


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## Sole0102 (Nov 23, 2020)

Starla said:


> I reached out to Phoebe’s breeder just days after we said goodbye to Starla, and 4 months later Phoebe came home. I had waited ~30 years for my standard poodle and she was only with us for a few months. It wasn’t about replacing Starla, she can never be replaced. Until Phoebe, I was still crying over Starla almost daily. Phoebe was really integral in helping me heal. It really is such a personal decision, and no one here is going to judge you as rushing too quickly or waiting too long. Or if they do, they keep it to themselves!


I think I can relate to you. I had a toy poodle when I was 12 and he passed at 9 years old. He was the one who made me love poodles. I always said that I would get another poodle at some point in my life. When I turned 30, I made a decision to get a poodle around my 40th birthday. Then I became disabled at 33 years old and that took a lot to adjust to. Last year when we got Cooper, I was almost 37 and joked that I would get a companion for Cooper when I turned 40. I always wanted my poodle and I'm sad that I only had that for a year.


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## Charmed (Aug 4, 2014)

I am glad you are allowing yourself to grieve, and yet, keeping your heart open to the acquisition of a future pup. You really are having to deal with two losses... the healthy Cooper you never had, and the Cooper that was lost to the dog attack. It is also like the feelings someone has, who's husband was dying of cancer and then, the husband was killed in a car accident. Such a mixture of feelings to deal with. Be kind to yourself and remember there is no right or wrong way to grieve. The important thing is that you go through the process. Hugs.


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## cmac4103 (May 5, 2019)

Sole0102 said:


> I hope people don't mind me still messaging even though Cooper is now gone.
> 
> Today has been a tough day. It was supposed to be Cooper's last walk and it was going to be at the beach. I miss him so much 😥 I fall asleep crying each night, cuddled into his blanket, with his puppy relaxation music on and start crying when I open my eyes in the morning and remember he is gone. I am trying so hard to remember all of the good things but the end of his life was horrible.
> 
> ...


I admire the way you’re handling your grief, and trying to create positive changes with the other dog’s owner. It would be so difficult for me to let go of the anger. We’re here for you and better days are coming.


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