# Etiquette when contacting a breeder



## PoodleJoon (3 mo ago)

SilverSpoo23 said:


> I’ve been searching for breeders recently, and when I reach out to one with an email, sometimes I give a lot of information about myself, and sometimes just a brief introduction along with the questions that will determine if I should start a deeper dialogue or submit an application. When I make contact with a shorter email, I’m thinking that this poor breeder is probably getting lots of emails and doesn’t want to hear about me if I’m not someone who might be a good match for one of her future puppies. But now I’m wondering if I was looking at it wrong and was being (unintentionally) rude by not filling in more details about me, my situation, and my poodle experience. (Internally grimacing here.)
> 
> I can’t really tell by responses, because it seems to be a coin toss as to which type of outreach receives a response. I'm hoping the folks here can share their understanding of which way is best or most appreciated.


It can depend on what type of information the breeder has asked for and methods of contact they have provided. I would recommend if possible to submit an application and then follow up with a phone call. Or call first and then submit an application after you talk and feel more comfortable with each other. Phone calls are good imo because you can get a sense for each other. If someone doesn’t have pups or they rub you the wrong way then you save time and can cross them off your list of prospectives.


----------



## Rose n Poos (Sep 22, 2017)

There've been a few threads with this topic and it's a very good one.

This is copied from a breeder's blog:

*2) INTRODUCE YOURSELF THOROUGHLY.*_ The initial e-mail should be several paragraphs long; block out at least an hour of quiet for the first phone call.

When you initiate contact, clearly communicate three things:_


_You are ready for a puppy,_
_You are ready for a puppy of this breed, and_
_You understand what sets this breeder apart from the others and you share that commitment._
_Specifically describe your plans for this puppy; but be truthful. If you are not going to be able to go to four training classes a year, SAY SO. Don’t say “Of course, training is a huge priority around here,” or you’re going to end up with a puppy who’s flushing your toilet sixty times a day because he’s so bored and you’re not challenging him._
_*The ideal first contact e-mail usually goes something like*_



> _“Hi, my name is X and I’m writing to inquire about your dogs. I’ve been doing a lot of research on [breed] and I think they’re the right one for me because of [these four reasons.] I know puppies are a huge commitment, and I am planning to [accommodate that in various ways.] I’m approaching you in particular because of your interest in [whatever,] which is something I feel is very important and plan to encourage in [these three ways.]”_


_That’s the kind of e-mail that gets a response from good breeders, and usually gets a response pretty quickly. If I get something that says “I hear you have puppies on the way; how much?” it goes in the recycle bin before you can blink._


You're letting the breeder know that you've done your research on what it takes to raise a puppy, the breed that suits your lifestyle and that you have some understanding of that breed, and the qualities of that breeder that appeal to you.

I'd close with a request for a good day/time to have a phone conversation. If you don't get a response within a week or so, it may be that they're busy with their paying job (that won't be breeding ) or shows, or a current litter, or family, or all of those things. 

I'd try one more follow up email and close that with notice that you're going to try to catch them by phone very soon. There are breeders still that prefer phone calls to technology .


----------



## MaizieFrosty (Apr 12, 2019)

I would recommend being yourself. You shouldn't have to tip-toe around breeders, walk on eggshells, and try to win them over. Both of my dogs' breeders responded to my interest right away and there was the right balance of them caring where their dogs went, but also selling ME on their dogs a bit. Both breeders stay in touch and have been supportive. Maizie's just donated to our St. Jude dog walking challenge.


----------



## PeggyTheParti (Sep 5, 2019)

Here’s the source of that info provided by Rose:









Puppy buyer etiquette







rufflyspeaking.net





How many breeders are you contacting?


----------



## SteveS55 (7 mo ago)

It's an emotional business transaction. The breeder understands that and the buyer should too. There is the perfect puppy for you out there somewhere. Sometimes it just requires a little patience.


----------



## mrtobympoo (4 mo ago)

I'm currently on the waitlist for my spoo right now and I was totally in your position with breeder etiquette! 
I've found that most breeders will have a puppy questionnaire on their website that you can fill out and attach in your initial email so that they know you're not anyone sketch (probably inquiries from doodle breeders, etc). If their website didn't have a formal questionnaire, I approached the initial email with a pretty short blurb about me (ex: living in a home, no children, my job that allows for flexible puppy schedule, etc) and what about their program stood out to me beyond health tested parents (ex high diversity breeding, puppy culture, ENS, etc). I usually got a response somewhere along the line of "you sound good so far, let's talk more" and that's when I asked further questions about their program/philosophies. 
One resource I also found helpful was facebook! I had stopped logging into my FB the past few years so I forgot that the rest of the world (especially breeders) utilizes it lol. A lot of breeders have their own pages and I found that they update their facebooks the most out of their social medias. Although it felt informal compared to emailing, I've had good experiences inquiring them through messages. I actually found my breeder through a standard poodle fb group.
I've approached some breeders with an extensive email and I've approached some with short "do you have future litter plans?" fb messages. So bottom line, there's no wrong way to approach this !! In the beginning, I found myself overthinking the contents of my inquiries when I didn't get a response back. But as my search continued, I realized I wouldn't have gone with them anyway since I personally want a breeder who is able to correspond with email or fb throughout my future dog's life.


----------



## Rose n Poos (Sep 22, 2017)

PeggyTheParti said:


> Here’s the source of that info provided by Rose:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thanks for adding the link! I got sidetracked . 

I still can't remember who it was here on PF that described the early relationship between a quality breeder and the new family as similar to parents checking out their offspring's first date. 

I think that captures the essence. It's not "business" for these breeders, they're considering you as possible extended family. Hopefully, you'll feel the same about them.


----------



## Heartland2022 (8 mo ago)

I swear them in like they're in a courtroom set a time and date I'll bring the Bible. They don't seem to mind it after all we're soon to be family 👪 🐩. I have had quite a few say to me is all this really necessary? I usually reply with a survey of the surroundings. Saying well the world's just a sinful as it was a minute ago best I can tell so yes. Besides this is the way family does one another in ours 😉. Put one hand here and raise the other now we're going to get to the truth about these dogs. 🤠😅 I'm not sure everybody's used to my etiquette. I get rejected a lot more often than not. However I'm considering them as a part of my extended family also. I tell em the truth right off many breeders won't make the cut. Just be yourself thats what I did in my search.


----------



## Mfmst (Jun 18, 2014)

I was respectful of their time, but indicated that I was a serious buyer of one of their puppies. Did my homework on their program. Talking points. Foremost was for a great life their puppy would have under our care. 4 fenced acres, no kids, no Parvo lurking on the ground. I found a great show breeder, and we happened to have a friend in common. She took a call from me at Westminster, when I wished her luck. That was years after we got Buck. You do want a breeder who is going to take your calls, congratulatory or crisis.


----------



## SilverSpoo23 (2 mo ago)

Thank you everyone for your responses. I’d become concerned that I didn’t know the expected procedure, but after reading what everyone wrote, I think I’m doing things ok.

It is an emotional business; I feel like it’s akin to adopting a baby. 



PeggyTheParti said:


> Here’s the source of that info provided by Rose:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I contacted several breeders that I was either sure, or suspected they did the appropriate health screenings and diversity and puppy culture, plus leave tail & dew claws. I wanted a list of possibilities since I knew some of them would turn out to not do one or more of those things, that some wouldn’t be breeding this year, and that others may have fully reserved future litters. Another reason I looked long enough to get a little list of possibilities was I hoped to find breeders closer to me just because it’d be nice to not only keep in touch, but to have my puppy visit with her first family sometimes. It turns out most are quite far from me.

Thank you again, everyone, it really helped to hear your experiences. 💜


----------

