# How to ruin a perfectly good dog (venting)



## PeggyTheParti (Sep 5, 2019)

Oh @Dechi, this sounds like such a stressful time for all. I’m sorry. 

I don’t believe Beckie and Merlin are ruined. I do, however, think you probably have far too much on your plate right now to prioritize any sort of corrective training. Maybe when you return home, and things mellow out a bit, you can do some counter-conditioning with yummy things and then do some desensitizing.

Funny walks, waving hands, big sudden movements...all of that stuff can be worked on. I know because I’ve had to do it myself with the very sensitive Miss. Peggy. But I think you’ve got enough to deal with right now. Sending big hugs.


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## Poodle2021 (Mar 14, 2021)

I feel for you, too - that is a lot of stress to handle. I’m sorry.  

i don’t think they’re ruined, either. Just as you have been in a different house under stressful conditions, they have, too. No yard to stretch legs & explore, less attention from you, a different daily routine, etc, are all challenging. Maybe they are working to protect you & your vulnerable dad and are more reactionary than usual.

I suspect they will be fine back at your house after a few days of decompression.

I’m sure you are doing a great job taking care of your dad. Sending good thoughts your way.


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## Skylar (Jul 29, 2016)

I’m so sorry, this is such a difficult situation for all. (((Hugs))) They are not ruined.

Take what opportunities arise as you can right now to intervene to train the dogs where you are including using treats. Otherwise don’t stress about it now. 

When you return home, wait a few days then assess their behavior. It may be being home and back in their normal routine is enough to reset their behavior. Any problems that continue you can work out a plan for training.


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## Dechi (Aug 22, 2015)

I like the treat idea you all have. I’ll make sure to have them handy at home for visitors when we go back.


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## Asta's Mom (Aug 20, 2014)

So difficult to care for aging parents. Both my mother and father had alzheimers and had strange behaviors, losing ability to make sense of things and people that previously they knew. Toward the end it was overwhelming me to care for them. You must be very stressed. Hope that you and your pups quickly respond to being home - I do NOT think they are ruined. (((BIG HUGS)))


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## Rose n Poos (Sep 22, 2017)

I'm sure they'll come back around once you're home and they have their routine back. You've had these years together with you guiding them. It will come back.

As for the loving care you are giving, I'm in awe of you all who've gone thru this unimaginable experience.


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## cowpony (Dec 30, 2009)

My dad grew up with dogs and was always kind to animals when I was a child. However, he lost his sense of the appropriate when he went into cognitive decline. My husband, watching him interact with my sister's dogs, commented it was like watching a little boy rough housing with no common sense. Of course, as a 150 pound fragile elder, my father was capable of both hurting the dog and being hurt so much more easily than a 40 pound boy.

I wouldn't assume your dog's are ruined. I know when I'm training my guys I have trouble getting them to generalize that rules apply in all locations. The perfect sit/stay they have at home evaporates when they go to a neighbor's yard or to the pet store. I suspect this lack of generalization will help you when you return home. Right now they are in an unfamiliar place with someone who is acting weird. Since he's not following the rules they understand for people, it's reasonable for them to think they don't have to follow dog rules either. Once they return to a place with their safe and familiar routines they will probably be more inclined to return to their prior good behavior.


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## Dechi (Aug 22, 2015)

Asta's Mom said:


> So difficult to care for aging parents. Both my mother and father had alzheimers and had strange behaviors, losing ability to make sense of things and people that previously they knew. Toward the end it was overwhelming me to care for them. You must be very stressed.


.
Yes, I am very, very stressed. And barely surviving since my health challenges are not helping. I’ve tried to tell my dad that I need calm and silence to recuperate, but he forgets as soon as I say it. He likes to talk, talk, talk, non stop and doesn’t get body signals so he keeps going. 



Rose n Poos said:


> As for the loving care you are giving, I'm in awe of you all who've gone thru this unimaginable experience.


This is in the top 3 most difficult things I’ve ever had to do in my life. Maybe even number 1.



cowpony said:


> I suspect this lack of generalization will help you when you return home. Right now they are in an unfamiliar place with someone who is acting weird. Since he's not following the rules they understand for people, it's reasonable for them to think they don't have to follow dog rules either. Once they return to a place with their safe and familiar routines they will probably be more inclined to return to their prior good behavior.


I hadn’t thought of that but yes, it makes sense. I’m hoping that’s what happens !


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## Dianaleez (Dec 14, 2019)

I hope that when you get home you and the dogs can have a few quiet days together to recharge.
Life will get easier after a few good nights' sleep for all of you.


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

Aww I am sorry your parents are ill and that it has put so much stress on you and Beckie and Merlin. I am sure they will bounce back to their old selves once they resettle at home. I hope you will be returning soon and that things settle down with regrds to your parents.


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## Dechi (Aug 22, 2015)

Thank you everyone. Soon we’ll know when my mom is coming home. Hopefully we will be back home in a few days. Fingers crossed, I am so exhausted I’m hanging by a thread.


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## PeggyTheParti (Sep 5, 2019)

We’re here for you, @Dechi.


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## The Popster (Feb 23, 2021)

They are going to be fine once back to home ground routine.
Stressy situation ( sorry for that ), and they know/ feel it too.
But don't worry too much, over think it.
You have a couple of great advantages!!
Much love and care for your dogs, and they have love and care for you !!
PLUS PLUS PLUS - THEY ARE SMART !!!


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## Johanna (Jun 21, 2017)

Dechi said:


> I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. When my mother's dementia became too much for her to safely remain at home, I was very lucky to find a wonderful placement for her not too far away. A woman had bought several old houses - 1920s-1930s vintage - and set them up to accommodate dementia patients. Mother lived there for seven months before she died and was very happy. I hope you, too, can find a solution that fits your family - it's a really hard row to hoe. I'll be thinking of and praying for you. Blessed be.


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## Jilly SummerSunset (Sep 16, 2020)

Dechi,
I'm sincerely sorry you have to handle this situation with your parents. I cared for both of my parents before they passed. I didn't have Poos at the time, I had 4 GSDs who were great with my parents. I don't know if you have MPOOs or SPOOs but I know that growing up I had friends with Toys and MPoos. They were more reactive in situations, if I recall. I'm pretty sure Beckie and Merlin will settle once reaccquainted with familiar grounds and activities. My dad was a dog person all of his life. My mom was afraid of big dogs until my GSDs. She grew to love the big ones. I didn't have big dogs growing up. From what I've read, your dad's reactions with your dogs would definitely give your two confusion and panic. My GSDs were exposed to many more situations with my parents and situations in general that their training level prepared them for. Once both of your parents are at home, maybe exposing Beckie and Merlin to your parents more often can help prepare them for future events. They will become more receptive to odd situations in general. 🌹😊❤ I wish you, Beckie and Merlin, as well as your parents a healthful future.


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