# how to pay for vet bills that you can't afford



## hollyollyc (Dec 2, 2014)

my heart is so broken up right now. Jelena is in the ICU since yesterday and after a series of expensive tests they still aren't sure of what is wrong. waiting on the bile test results and if not, they found a malformation at the top of her spinal cord so if the test comes back clean they will do an MRI and then see if surgery can fix the malformation. there is no way I would ever let money come before jelena, but I am running out of options and I don't know what else to do. I only got approved for 3,200 from carefirst and already put down a 1,850 deposit. the estimated cost I received from ICU alone is 3,500 which doesn't include the 2,000 MRI and the 6,000 surgery. hypothetically I have to somehow pay them around 11,000. My credit limits barely go above 1,000 so what am I suppose to do now? If jelena needs surgery and I can't pay I don't even want to think about the idea of having to put her down because I'm incapable of paying I mean I feel so worthless. they told me if surgery is possible that she could live a normal long healthy life but where am I suppose to dig up this money. I feel so disappointed in myself as a dog owner. I have been looking at national financial assistance programs, but they mainly help people who are below the poverty line or rescues. not to mention... if it is the malformation that means im responsible for whats happened to her because I took her to the dog park with the new puppy and when running she got pushed and took a tumble which probably caused the trauma and all because I wanted another dog in the house. if its the bile it means im also responsible because I didn't give her the correct diet and fed her wrongly. I felt like I was doing okay, I was researching and talking to the vet constantly about her health, but in 2 days after running around she can't walk, sit, eat or drink or correct her paws and it is breaking my heart. if I lose her I honestly don't know what I will do. she is too young....


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## twyla (Apr 28, 2010)

try credit care


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## twyla (Apr 28, 2010)

Veterinary Financing | Healthcare Financing | CareCredit


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## poodlecrazy#1 (Jul 2, 2013)

Personally I choose not to go into debt for anything. I guess it was the way I was raised. But when it comes to my babies idk what I would do if I were in your situation. I guess that Is why I decided to get Killa on insurance because I know if something like that ever happens I would most likely choose euthanasia and I would not be able to live with myself then. Unfortunately in your case it is to late for insurance but maybe you could do fund raising or look at places that help with medical costs for pets. Idk what those places would be in your area. In our area it is Actors and Others.


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## patk (Jun 13, 2013)

please contact pf member caniche and ask her how giveforward works. she was able to raise funds to help pay for an operation for her dog.


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## poolann (Jan 31, 2013)

First of all, you are not to blame. Dogs get injured whether through sport or sometimes going downstairs or jumping off furniture or playing. As for diet being your fault, it's not. I'm sure you weren't stuffing her with sugary snacks with no nutritional value. You likely fed the best diet you can afford. Please don't blame yourself.

Thinking of you & her at this time & praying you are able to get the help you need.


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## Poodlerunner (Jul 4, 2014)

Maybe you could try a fb fundraiser? I've seen that done but I don't know what the requirements are. I think a big positive in your favor is that you are putting forward a big chunk of cash and would make people want to give. good luck. keep updated, please.

pr


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## mom2m (Dec 24, 2014)

Whatever this is, it's not your fault. It may be an accident or otherwise, but clearly you love your girl and did nothing that would knowingly harm her.

If you have the time, can you get a second opinion, using the test results? I mean--call some friends, ask for their vet recommendations and call those vets with the test results for a second opinion? 

If you don't have time, try the options mentioned above, talk to the vet about payment options, try a FB fundraiser. Is there any family that would be willing to make you a loan?

My heart goes out to you....


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## Singin' The Blues (Aug 9, 2014)

Please, please, please DON'T ever blame yourself!!! Dogs are here to enjoy life, and that is what your girl was doing IF that is what caused her the neck issue. But, toys can have malformations since they are so small. So until anyone can tell you for sure, don't fret. I am curious to know what the x-rays of her neck revealed. Did the vets see any abnormalities with her vertebrae? The only way to see a malformation on the spinal cord itself is from either a CT scan or an MRI. Spinal cord abnormalities DON'T show up on an x-ray, just so that you know. So make sure you understand exactly what they are trying to tell you. I know it's hard to focus when all the emotions are churning in your head, but continue to ask questions! As for the liver, she could have been born with this problem. I have a 2-1/2 pound Pomeranian that the vets originally thought had a malformation in her neck area. X-rays proved otherwise. However, she does have a liver disease called microvascular hepatic dysplasia (which basically means that she was born with a small liver). She could have had something called a portosystemic liver shunt, where the blood doesn't go through the liver to get "detoxified" and ends up dumping "toxins" into the blood stream thus causing higher liver values. It is important to test your girl's bile acids to see if she may have one of these 2 diseases. Both can be treated with medication; the shunt could be surgically corrected, but if finances are an issue, medication would prolong her life. If she has the dysplasia, medication is life long, but they live a normal life. My little Cricket is over 11-years-old. I agree with the others that you can collect donations from something like a GoFundMe account. With CareCredit, if you are one day late in paying it back, the interest rate is crazy high! So be careful with that. Please keep us posted. My thoughts are with you.


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## FireStorm (Nov 9, 2013)

I don't know if it would be an option for you, but if you are able to get a second opinion and/or move her for the surgery you might want to consider a veterinary teaching hospital, if you have a university with a veterinary program in your area. When I was a teen I had a horse that needed orthopedic surgery for a fracture. The teaching hospital did the surgery for about 1/3 the cost of what the other surgery center quoted and the staff was wonderful. If I still live in the area when it is time for Hans to have a preventative gastropexy, I'll probably use the same university again.


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## hollyollyc (Dec 2, 2014)

thank you everyone for your kind words and prayers and ideas, reading them lifted my spirits. my sister and i are working on running a fundraiser to reach out to others for support. i met with the doctor today and got to spend some private time with jelena. i was very close to putting her down, i was a mess, but i just knew i couldnt do it. there is no way i can. so i am going to try every single damn thing out there before i give up. when she was laying there she waged her tail for a couple seconds after seeing me and it just broke my heart even more and i couldnt stop crying. she looked terrible, she had so much drool and then she peed herself thats when i really became so wrecked. then the doctor asked me if I wanted to do a DNR and i actually agreed but then sat down for 15 mins thought what the hell am i doing and went back on my decision. my head is so hazy, but i am praying for her to get better. 

@twyla i am going to see if i can beg carecredit to increase my limit because the estimate numbers have gone up. they are saying if the bile test comes back fine, it will be 2000 for the mri and then another 8000 (not 6000) for the correction surgery, but I am consulting with the neuro doctor again tomorrow after the bile tests come back to schedule an mri if it is needed. ive asked a lot of nonprofit organizations even the ones outside my county and they gave me some more leads. I am following up on some tomorrow morning while I wait for the diagnosis and hopefully by then i will have an idea of where i stand financially

@singin' the blues, I was told that there was a malformation shown on the xrays at the top 2 of her vertebrae and are waiting on the bile acid results. I swear you must be a veterinarian, or an experienced mommy. I keep forgetting what I want to ask so I just wrote up some questions to ask the neuro doctor, like if its genetic or trauma related (I keep asking this question, but the vet kept giving me run around answers). I also was warned by non profit organizations to be very careful with carecredit because of exactly what you stated, missed payment high interest. 

@firestorm I am going to call virginia tech tomorrow, I was also told someone was able to get into the program and got heart surgery for her dog for a much smaller fee and she is living happily, but I am also afraid of if she would be able to travel or not.... I hope we can find out what the diagnosis is tomorrow and I hope she gets better... it is hard seeing your loved one in that type of state... especially that tail wag she gave me but only could keep up for 3 seconds...

please please please please keep her in your prayers and please please let her get better soon....


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## Shamrockmommy (Aug 16, 2013)

Man, I am sorry to hear all that. First thing I'd do is second opinion, to be sure! 

As for being able to pay 11,000 to fix a dog...  Please don't think me heartless, because I adore my dogs, they are loved as well as my human kids, BUT... I couldn't do it. There's no way. We don't have that much money lying around for us humans to use, let alone the dogs. 

My Chihuahua has to get dental surgery. My main vet wanted 1000.00 for a dental plus an extraction. For a 3 pound dog! Second vet that I use for my bichon wanted 800.00. 
I called the animal shelter and asked if they knew of any low cost places that did dentals. Got a number from them and happily, found a place that will do all of it with the same technology as the first 2 vets for 250! Perhaps there is a place you can find that does low cost surgery? 

Otherwise, I dont' know what I'd do in your situation. No way would DH ever agree to paying that much. And I wouldn't judge you for putting her to sleep either, sad and awful as it is. And none of it is your fault. ((((hugs))))

ETA: I am sorry if it sounded insensitive, was trying to multitask at the same time  My thoughts and prayers are definitely with you and I hope for the best outcome <3


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## hollyollyc (Dec 2, 2014)

Shamrockmommy said:


> Man, I am sorry to hear all that. First thing I'd do is second opinion, to be sure!
> 
> As for being able to pay 11,000 to fix a dog...  Please don't think me heartless, because I adore my dogs, they are loved as well as my human kids, BUT... I couldn't do it. There's no way. We don't have that much money lying around for us humans to use, let alone the dogs.
> 
> ...


no, it does not sound insensitive I completely understand, when the time comes it helps me know that whatever decision I make I might be judged by others, but I'll have another group of supporters there with me, but right now I just have to try and give it my all. she is so young and because I have no other major expenses in my life besides rent and bills I know I can recover from this debt over time. to put salt on the wounds, the IRS has been withholding my tax return for an investigation and I could really use any extra money right now.


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## georgiapeach (Oct 9, 2009)

I'm so sorry you and your fur baby are having to go through this. My heart's breaking for you. There's no way I could pay this amount of money either, absolutely no way. 

Our last poodle, Potsie, injured himself to the point that he was paralyed from his mid back to his back legs within a few hours. He couldn't even go to the bathroom by himself because he had no sensation, and his bladder had to be expressed twice a day. He messed on himself and was so embarrassed, but he couldn't help it. After two days of IV steroid treatment at the vet and no improvement, I asked the vet if she thought he would improve, and if not, what would she do if it were her dog. She very gently told me that Potsie would not likely improve, and that if Potsie were hers, she would let him go to preserve his dignity. It was such a hard, sad decision, but we think we made the best decision for him, given his circumstances.

Only you can decide what's best for you and your situation. Just know that you're in my prayers, and that we're not going to judge you if you decide to let your baby go to The Bridge.


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## Singin' The Blues (Aug 9, 2014)

I am just an experienced mom; I have had so many rescues with so many health problems, it's crazy! My nephew's dog just got hit by a car a few weeks ago (only 2 houses on their road and they live at the end of caul-de-sac) - broke 2 legs and tore tendons in another, so only 1 good leg. I know financially they were not able to afford it, but they ended up paying close to $10,000 for the 6 days at the hospital. And that doesn't include the follow up care including more bandage changes and x-rays. The dog is a mutt they adopted 2 years ago, and he is 3-years-old. Some people thought them crazy, others praised them. Just always remember that whatever decision you make, it's going to be the right decision. You know your situation best, you know your dog best, so don't ever care what others want to think - it's not there life! I support you no matter what you decide, and I'm sure many others on this forum do the same.

Also, if her bile acids are abnormal, she is definitely an anesthetic risk, so performing an MRI is not a good idea (since animals have to be sedated for that procedure). Wait to see what the neuro vet has to say. The malformation may have always been there and is just an incidental finding. All of her symptoms may be due to her liver, or even something entirely different. By the way, how much does she weigh? She looks so tiny in the picture. And oh so precious! Remember, don't make any quick decisions - let your head wrap around what is said to you, then proceed. I will pray for not only Jelena, but for strength for you.


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## mom2m (Dec 24, 2014)

Whatever decision you make will be in Jelena's best interest. That's just how mommy's are wired. 
When you can, write down all your questions. It's easier to do in advance, so you can get the answers you need (remember to leave space for the answers). While at the vet, take notes. If you can leave, talk to your sister or just think, write down questions, and then call the vet back to get the answers before you make any decisions (I know you may not have time, if you don't, you don't....but if you can....).

She's such a little girl, perhaps you can move her to a vet school for the procedure. 

Thinking of you. Praying for strength for both of you.


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## Tiny Poodles (Jun 20, 2013)

I am so sorry that you are going through this, you did nothing wrong, it could be any one of us.
Saw this whole list of places that might help on Facebook, there might be ones that you have not seen.


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## PoodlePaws (May 28, 2013)

Oh no!!! Yall will be in my prayers. ? I hope things work out for the two of you.


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## poodlecrazy#1 (Jul 2, 2013)

I just remembered Banfeild pet hospitals have a grant that they help our clients with pet bills. In my area it is up to $200 it's not much but everything helps and it might be different in different areas. It's worth giving them a call and seeing who or where your local organization is. Ours is run by the community services.


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## Tiny Poodles (Jun 20, 2013)

Frankie's Friend's, on the list above seems to work closely with Blue Pearl Hospital f you have one near you.


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## Manxcat (May 6, 2013)

Sorry to hear you are going through this. It's a really tough one. I'm in the "no debt" camp, knowing how hard it is to get out of once you are in it and how long it takes. That is an horrendous amount though, so hope you can find somewhere cheaper if you decide to go on.

I really hope things work out for you, but know you will get support here whatever your decision. :hug:


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## Carley's Mom (Oct 30, 2011)

My heart is breaking for you and your baby. I hope you find some peace and come to understand this is not anyone's fault. I know I would put her down, but we all have to follow our own heart. So sorry .


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## PoodleRick (Mar 18, 2013)

So sorry you're guys are going through this. It's a tough situation to be in for sure. Don't beat yourself up over it. As long as you're doing the best you can you have no one to answer to. I hope things work out for you.

Rick


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## hollyollyc (Dec 2, 2014)

thank you for all your thoughts and kind words again, you guys may not be physically here, but it means a lot to know Jelena and I have a lot of support through this. 

@singin' the blues, she is 1 year and weights 4 lbs.

her bile test came back clean so we went ahead and took an MRI. they found that she has meningitis and encephalitis (gme disease). I asked how she got it because she is updated on all her vaccines and was told it is immune related, genetics. he explained that its inflammation in the brain and they are starting her on an aggressive treatment to control the inflammation and if she responds well it means she has a strong chance of recovery. she will be in their care this weekend so please keep praying for her to respond well to these drugs. I am about to go research what gme, meningitis and encephalitis is because I have no idea at all what it is or what triggered it. I know the neurologist said they ran additional tests and are going to get a better grasp on the decision when the results come back. I am concerned because when she wasn't under the neurologists' care I asked if they were giving her pain medication and they said "I don't think shes in pain at all." and I was told by the neurologist that he gave her some pain medication just in case. I really hope she wasn't laying down with pain all this time... but I know I have to focus on the future not the past. glad they pinpointed what the issue is and I am glad we are now starting treatment. thank you for your support again. I love you guys.


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## twyla (Apr 28, 2010)

You and Jelena are in my thoughts


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## hollyollyc (Dec 2, 2014)

thank you twyla... I am reading up on the condition and I found a detailed article about GME: Granulomatous Meningoencephalitis (GME) - VeterinaryPartner.com - a VIN company!

I am reading about research studies and apparently it is similar to cancer, treatment can be combined with chemotherapy drugs which of course have devastating side effects that may happen, but she is most likely to be on immune-suppressants. now I really don't know what decision to make, how do I know which one she wants? if it turns out that she does well but needs aggressive drug therapy that may have bad effects I feel like I would cause her more pain. oh boy I am on a whole nother roller coaster ride...


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## patk (Jun 13, 2013)

do you trust your vet? if so, talk through the choices. write key points down, because at times of emotional distress, one overlooks salient points when trying to remember a conversation later. whatever you do, you will find support here. in one way or another, we have all stood the same crossroads.


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## Tiny Poodles (Jun 20, 2013)

Here is another list of resources.
http://www.dogheirs.com/dogheirs/po...rouble-affording-veterinary-care-for-your-dog


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## AngelAviary (Aug 12, 2014)

My prayers and thoughts are with you and your little angels Jelena over the weekend. Fingers and toes crossed that you see improvement with the medications. Im glad they gave her pain meds, sometimes they cant tell us how they are feeling so glad they chose to do that. I stand beside you with my hand on your shoulder supporting any and all decisions you make for your little one! Stay strong for your baby.


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## hollyollyc (Dec 2, 2014)

jelena passed around 4:30 today. she couldn't breathe on her own and the inflammation in her brain got worse. from what the vet told me, she got dealt an unlucky pair of cards. it was explained to me that she had an autoimmune disease and she picked up a virus that triggered the inflammation. to best compare it to anything, it would be like lupus where they dont know the cause or the reason. i feel like i have no closure. i was with her when she was put down, it was scary. they jolt and open their eyes wide before closing them and then going away forever.

to not have a reason or why this happened to begin with is upsetting. like someone said "i choose you" and picked something so innocent to effect. its not fair, it definitely is not fair, it isnt fair at all. maybe i am looking for something to blame so I can have closure which is killing me. i miss her so much already, but I know shes not struggling or in pain anymore. it is a very numbing feeling to lose someone so important to you.

i love you so much and goodbye jelena, you'll always always be in my heart and i will never forget you, ever. i will always remember the first day she came home and entered my life to the day I had to say goodbye


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## twyla (Apr 28, 2010)

I'm so sorry


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## patk (Jun 13, 2013)

i am sorry. i wish i could say something that would sweep away the pain. but i know there isn't anything. we are here for you.


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## Viking Queen (Nov 12, 2014)

My heart aches for your loss. (((HUGS)))

Viking Queen


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## AngelAviary (Aug 12, 2014)

There are not enough words to say how sorry I am that you lost your little girl. Know in your heart you did what you could for her and you were with her in the end. She will be watching over you now, just like you watched over her. I hope that soon you will be able to smile when you hear her name. Remember the good times you shared with her during the time she blessed your life with hers. 
Here with a shoulder, always offered to lean, on when you need it.


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## Tiny Poodles (Jun 20, 2013)

I am so very sorry. I wish that I had words to ease your pain, I know that those words don't exist, but the support of those who understand does help you make it through, and I know that all of the great PF folks will be there for you as they have been for me.


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## Singin' The Blues (Aug 9, 2014)

So very sorry... the pain is so strong when you suddenly lose someone you love so much. But always remember that you did right by Jelena , and she will always know that. You did nothing wrong. GME is a tough though rare disease; she would have had a tough uphill battle. I hope that you find some comfort in knowing what the disease was, and that you had absolutely nothing to do with her getting this disease. My heart truly breaks for you. With every passing day your breaths will get stronger and your loving memories of Jelena will make you smile, happy to know that you were ever so blessed in crossing her short path in life.


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## mom2m (Dec 24, 2014)

I am so sorry for your loss. Try and take comfort in the love you shared with Jelena. She loved you. You loved her. And really, that's all that matters.

Sending thoughts and prayers for peace.


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## Beaches (Jan 25, 2014)

You and Jelena got dealt a rotten hand Holly. You did everything you could for her, I am so sorry it ended like this. Hugs,


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## MollyMuiMa (Oct 13, 2012)

I am so sorry........your time with Jelena may have been short but the wonderful love and caring you gave her and she returned, is a sweet thing to treasure. You did your very best and of that you should never doubt. She brought you joy, remember her that way!


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## Indiana (Sep 11, 2011)

It's not fair, and you will probably never have close to this situation again in your whole life, it is that rare. But take comfort in the fact that your puppy knew she was loved, she did not know she was dying so she didn't have any of that struggle with awareness that we humans have, and she is pain-free right now. It's very painful as an owner and I send you my best wishes and good vibes as you go through the grieving process. One thing is, we all have to go through it at some point or another, so we really understand.


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## poodlecrazy#1 (Jul 2, 2013)

I am so sorry.


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## PoodleRick (Mar 18, 2013)

I'm so sorry this happened. You're in my thoughts.

Rick


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## glorybeecosta (Nov 11, 2014)

hollyollyc said:


> thank you twyla... I am reading up on the condition and I found a detailed article about GME: Granulomatous Meningoencephalitis (GME) - VeterinaryPartner.com - a VIN company!
> 
> I am reading about research studies and apparently it is similar to cancer, treatment can be combined with chemotherapy drugs which of course have devastating side effects that may happen, but she is most likely to be on immune-suppressants. now I really don't know what decision to make, how do I know which one she wants? if it turns out that she does well but needs aggressive drug therapy that may have bad effects I feel like I would cause her more pain. oh boy I am on a whole nother roller coaster ride...


I feel so sorry for you, I know what you are going through. I had a poodle years ago that was paralized, he did recover and lived to be 15, he had a funny walk. But I was close to putting him down at 4 yrs. You have to do what is best, but also think of the quality of life the baby will have.


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## Mfmst (Jun 18, 2014)

I'm really sorry. Hugs from Houston.


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## Poodlerunner (Jul 4, 2014)

I am so so sorry for your loss. You are right this was so unfair to both you and Jelena. Unfortunately, I have experience with gme and it is a torturous monster. 

pr


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## Charmed (Aug 4, 2014)

I am so sorry that you have had to suffer so much worrying about Jelena, and then having to let her go. It is always hard when you lose someone so young, whether it is a human infant or a pup. There will always be so many unanswered questions; take solace in knowing that you were there for Jelena every step of the way and that you did not let her suffer. Hugs.


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## Caddy (Nov 23, 2014)

I am so very sorry, you did everything and more you could to help her. It's so hard to loose them, thinking about you tonight.


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## Streetcar (Apr 13, 2014)

Dear hollyollyc, I am so very sorry for your loss of precious Jelena. What a shock to suddenly experience this illness and now her passing. You did everything you could, and so did she, but she got called home early.

Sending you huge hugs, and know Jelena had the most wonderful life she could have had with you. Now I picture her running and playing happily at the Bridge, just as she is in your darling signature photo.


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## Manxcat (May 6, 2013)

Oh no! I am so very, very sorry to hear this and yes, it definitely is not fair.

I just thank God that Jelena had such a wonderful mum to take care of her through all of this, one who did absolutely everything she possibly could.

You are in my heart and prayers, honey, and hugs are winging their way to you. :hug:


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## schpeckie (Jun 29, 2010)

Oh Holly, so sorry for the loss of Jelena. She was such a young little girl and was taken from you too fast. We are all sending prayers and hugs to you that we were so blessed that you shared this Angel with us.

Sylvia & the Girls


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## sparkyjoe (Oct 26, 2011)

I'm so very sorry for your loss.


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## PoodlenPrada (Aug 13, 2014)

"It's a cruel irony that the one member of the family who would be most comforting during a time of loss is the one you have to grieve." 

I'm so sorry to hear about Jelena and what you had to go through. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.


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## Nicofreako (Aug 19, 2013)

I am so very sorry. tears and prayers for you.


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## BSB (Dec 15, 2013)

She is a baby. Are you sure that waiting and pain medicine are not an option? 
What does the breeder think? Can she eat? I wish you the best. You might try an animal communicator.


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## Nora O (Sep 27, 2013)

I am so sorry you lost your baby. I just lost my big red guy last month and rather suddenly too so I can empathize with your pain. Love & hugs!


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## Chagall's mom (Jan 9, 2010)

So sorry for the loss of your cherished little Jelena.


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## georgiapeach (Oct 9, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your little girl is now pain free, but that doesn't make it easier for you. {{hugs!}}


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## Tiny Poodles (Jun 20, 2013)

Holly, I am really hoping that you will check-in with us. I lost my girl Tangee 5 weeks ago and everyone here has been so kind and patient with me - I know nothing can make you feel better, but being amongst people who truly understand will help you survive the pain.


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## Poodlebeguiled (May 27, 2013)

Oh no. I didn't get to this thread when you started it but now read sadly through to see this devastating news. I'm so terribly sorry that she couldn't recover from this dreadful thing. You did everything possible for her. And she was blessed to have you for her mom and she will live on in your heart...the happy times, short though they were. I send you my deepest sympathy and thoughts that you will find peace at some point. It does take a long time for that harsh pain to calm itself a little bit but it will. I'm just so very sorry.


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## BorderKelpie (Dec 3, 2011)

I am so sorry for your horrendous loss. It really isn't fair, she was so young and had the promise of such a wonderful life with you. 

This is heart shattering for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.


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## hollyollyc (Dec 2, 2014)

honestly guys, a thousand times thank you.  sorry for the late reply, the last couple days I have been very sad and upset. I will not lie.. I have been laying and sleeping on the couch for the past couple days thinking about all the "what-ifs" and "if onlys", but I am feeling much better after all the support from you guys, family, friends, and my vet. I am unsure whether I want to keep her ashes or bury them yet, but I bet jelena feels all the love going her way from everyone wherever she is.

I couldn't be happier to be part of such a wonderful family of poodle lovers and supporters.


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## hollyollyc (Dec 2, 2014)

@tiny_poodles, holly checking in here , thank you for caring about how I am doing. I definitely noticed how genuine everyone is about caring for one another. I am sorry to hear about Tangee  I hope you are feeling better as well because it really is hard to cheer up, I really wish they could stay with us forever.... but I know they are in a better place now and I bet you a million bucks that Tangee and Jelena have met up in doggy paradise and are frolicking around where there is only warm sunny days and not this silly 43 degree weather.


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## Tiny Poodles (Jun 20, 2013)

Thank you Holly, I am really glad to hear from you. I am still going through the "what if's" five weeks later. Even though the rational part of me knows that it as normal part of the process no matter how good a job you did, it does not make the feelings any less real or less difficult. 
And while there may be non-dog people in your life who want you to "cheer-up", nobody here expects that. The pain will be with you a long time, there is no avoiding that when you love so deep, but little by little it does get easier to bare, and you will begin to have moments in the day when you can focus upon something else. I don't know for sure, but maybe it would be helpful for you to read through my "at the ER with Tangee" thread just to see that your thoughts and feelings are "normal".

And don't rush yourself on the ashes - I know where Tangee's are going, but I have not been able to even take them out of the bag yet. A couple of days ago I got as far as taking out a card from the Vet and the paw print mold that they made for me, and I could not go any further. It feels like it is the last thing that I can do for Tangee, and I just can't rush it, you know?


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## itzmeigh (Apr 28, 2014)

We lost one of our cats very young and unexpected. Oliver Cat was only 2 years old. He had crystals in his urine but we couldn't get them to stop rapidly forming. He blocked 3 times in less then a month and the vet felt that he wasn't a good candidate for surgery. 

It was the hardest loss of all. It was unexpected and filled with "what ifs".

At least when they reach old age you can ready your self. You know they will go eventually. When they are so young you can't help but blame yourself. 

With Oliver we just kept reminding ourselves that his condition was genetic and that while we might have had him longer he still would have died young.


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## Tiny Poodles (Jun 20, 2013)

I lost two poodles young - Jolé at 10 months on the table being spayed, and Tika, 17 months, slipped her harness and hit by a car, and honestly after the initial shock the pain was just the same as it was with my seniors. No matter how "old" they get, they are always your baby, and the pain of losing a baby is just the same - there really is no such thing as "being prepared", at least not for me....


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## twyla (Apr 28, 2010)

Holly it is good to hear from you please do not dwell on the what ifs and know that you did everything you could.

I lost my Baby girl last year after she jumped up onto the couch something she did multiple times everyday only that day she slipped off and ruptured something in her neck. She was paralyzed from the neck down and I had to let her go she was only eight.


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## Luce (Mar 4, 2013)

Holly, I am so sorry you lost your beautiful pup so young. I just read the entire thread and am so saddened by the new of he death. 

I have had 2 pets cremated and both of their ashes are in their own boxes with their names on it, the boxes are in my living room on a shelf. You don't have "to do" anything with them until you want to.

My prayers are with you, find comfort in knowing there wasn't anything anyone could have done, and more importantly, it had nothing to do with your care.


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## Legs&Leashes (Mar 12, 2015)

I hope you are holding your head high & letting any feelings of guilt slip away. You loved your Jelena and she knew it. Your posts deeply touched me & brought me back to a place I was months ago. Please know you did your very best & gave your girl the best life she could've hoped for while she was here. I know its hard but Remember the good times! I am sending you all of the well wishes in the world!!!


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