# Help Me Understand



## kmart (Apr 28, 2015)

This has happened to me several times now. 

A little background: As part of my Bachelor's degree, I took several classes that included how to communicate via email. I was taught to use a professional, polite tone and to triple-check EVERY email for correct grammar and spelling, no matter the recipient. 

Why is it that I send a well thought-out email to a breeder and receive a barely intelligible reply that often includes minimal punctuation, confusing language, and is blunt and short enough to be considered rude? Not to mention, using abbreviations ("u" for "you," etc.). 

My emails take me five minutes, at the most. Ten minutes if it's the first contact. I realize that breeders are incredibly busy people, but does that mean that they can't be respectful? They had made it clear that they didn't want to talk on the phone, so that's not the issue. 

I'm ready to cut out all the breeders I've talked to who have been so short. Is that wise? Or am I being dramatic? Do your breeders who prefer email sound like that? Otherwise, they seem like great breeders. But I'm so put-off.


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## Coldbrew (Jun 17, 2015)

Having just gone through the "searching for a breeder" experience myself, I know exactly what you're going through.

Several breeders were either very short with me via email, replied to my detail questions with copy/pasted portions of their website, or wrote things that were so hard to parse out what they were trying to say.

I persevered through the hassle of poor communication on their parts only because I had a goal - get a good puppy. I feel that its possible they were less inclined to put effort into communication because they are the "supplier" and that if their emails put me off, they'd always have someone else interested in a puppy that would tolerate their poor communication skills.

That said, there will of course be breeders that are just having an off day, dislike email, or who have other valid reasons for poor communication. I ended up getting my Jasper from a breeder who didn't seem to read past the first few lines of my email, so instead of answer the 16 questions i had she would answer the first two, so i jsut started to send her one question at a time, and since she answered those with "good" answers I did end up purchasing a puppy from her.

I'd say that as long as none of what you are hearing from these breeders makes you question the health/temperament of the puppies themselves, just consider the patience you are exemplifying in communicating with them as practice for patience with dealing with a puppy


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## lisasgirl (May 27, 2010)

I've found that animal people tend not to be very tech-savvy. It's just a correlation that I've noticed, and it doesn't apply to everybody, but most breeders, big time show people, farmers, etc. that I know are just bad at email. I'm not sure why. Though in the case of particularly experienced breeders, it could be a generational thing, too. And I think, lifestyle-wise, email just isn't as big a part of their lives as it would be with someone who works an office job at a computer. 

Anyway, if you chalk it up to a personality/culture thing - that they're not meaning to offend, they just don't really "get" the norms of online communication - you may feel better about it. Think of your least tech-savvy relative, and imagine you're hearing from them.

If it bothers you too much, stick to phone conversations. My experience with breeders is that most of them prefer the phone anyway.


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## MiniPoo (Mar 6, 2014)

The breeder must text a lot and has let the habit of abbreviations roll over into her emails. Sometimes I have to stop myself from using "u" and "b4" as well. I don't think it is a matter of disrespect, but a habit on their part.

It depends on what you want. If you want to have a longterm relationship with this breeder after you get your puppy, then look for one that communicates with you as you like and expect. I did want a longterm relationship with my breeder and found one that communicated very well indeed, both in emails, on the phone, and by sending me pictures and videos of the puppies as they developed. She is a miniature breeder, so I would recommend her to you, but I know you are looking for a standard.

If you just want a good healthy dog and think the breeder has one and you can navigate through their poor communications, then go for it. Coldbrew gave some good advice on how to cope with that.

Good luck with your search.


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

I also write coherent emails. I think it is appropriate to do so. When I am corresponding with students it is my intent, in part, to be instructive about how to communicate by modeling what I think email should look like. I don't think that a breeder should do less than that since their email correspondence represents their business. That being said I think some are not particularly tech oriented and phone calls might be better for some people. A couple of breeders I looked at clearly said they prefer phone calls on their website.

Javelin's breeder responded to my first email inquiry (which was carefully drafted and proofed before I hit send) with an email that matched the nature of my message to her. As we've gotten to know each other better since we made our first contact in April our email has gotten more relaxed at both ends.

I don't think I would eliminate a breeder who might have the right pup for you based on the nature of an email though. I might send an email that asked the person if they preferred to talk by phone.


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## patk (Jun 13, 2013)

i would cut any breeder you think is excellent some slack. it's hard to be excellent in everything unless there's a great support structure in place. if someone has dogs, kids, family with health or other problems, it may not be that easy. i also suspect that breeders who are in it for the love of the breed rather than love of any money involved are not necessarily the most customer oriented. their attitude is, are you good enough for one of my dogs? especially one of my puppies? it's a different ballgame than trying to sell you a mattress or a reclining chair. hopefully when you find the right breeder for you, it will all come together.


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## Poodlebeguiled (May 27, 2013)

I think nothing beats a phone call, even if you do subsequent emails. That way you can probably tell better if the person is rude or is someone you'll never be able to have a relationship with or if they're just sort of illiterate. Email is hard to decipher sometimes but who knows the reasons? If you cut out every breeder who can't write a quality email, it's like taking out every Poodle that isn't utterly perfect out of the gene pool. lol. There are already too few really good breeders out there. Be sure it is someone though, that you can chat with comfortably and that you figure just can't write a good email but doesn't mean anything untoward by poor punctuation or a lack of elaboration on the subject.


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## glorybeecosta (Nov 11, 2014)

Kmart I agree with you. Any one in business wanting to put a good image, should have the respect to correspond correctly to e-mails and phone calls, or have someone that can. Let the prospective client leave a message if you are to busy to talk on the phone and call them back when convenient. This is not only with breeders today, it is with many of the business in general, professionalism is gone in many areas.


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## kmart (Apr 28, 2015)

Thank you all for the feedback. 

It probably wouldn't bother me so much if the last breeder I dealt with (the one who randomly decided not to send the puppy the day of the flight) didn't communicate like this. 

There's just something about the way they communicate that reeks of disreputable behavior (especially give vague, incoherent answers to questions), and that's not what I want from a breeder. If they would accept phone calls, that would be a different story. But only wanting to use email, and then writing to me like this is so exasperating. 

I realize that good breeders don't try to sell puppies to just anyone. That's not the point. If I come to someone with a respectful inquiry, I expect the same respect in return. And they obviously aren't trying to find ideal homes for their puppies if they answer 0 of my questions and ask 0 questions of me. 

I do appreciate casual conversation via email. Not seven words jumbled together that could have several different meanings in reply to a paragraph-long inquiry. And this is usually several days or even weeks after the initial email. Is it really so difficult to write a sentence or two? 

Again, thank you for the replies. I love reading what you all have to say and I do agree that breeders should get some leeway regarding their style of communication. I just think that since I'm so precise about what I'm looking for, some precision is really required in a response in order to get anywhere.


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## zooeysmom (Jan 3, 2014)

I would only deal with breeders who are willing to talk on the phone. I'm surprised you say the breeders you've been dealing with prefer email, because I had little response when I first started my search and was using email. The phone is way better at first.


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## Poodlebeguiled (May 27, 2013)

I don't recall anyone being short with me or unwilling to answer my questions and in fact, some of them talked too much. LOL. So many stories about their dogs but it showed they loved and cared about them as individuals. I remember having good conversations with most all. I spoke with several breeders from various parts of the country. I think one or two may have failed to answer my emails promptly but it could have been they were at a show or something. Keep plugging away. As they say, "the squeaky wheel gets the grease." :act-up: And I wouldn't get bogged down with poorly written emails...bad grammar or punctuation. Some people aren't educated. Some, English isn't their first language. Some people have dyslexia. Just do the best you can reading them and try the phone again. If they seem rude, move on to the next one.


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## Desiree (Feb 14, 2010)

I've got 7 pups on the ground right now. First four weeks of around the clock care was a bit much. Now they're 12 weeks old and ready to go to homes. I'm still up at 5 AM, go non stop all day feeding, walking, training, cleaning crates, mopping floors, and picking up 21 plus piles of poop a day. Then I make time for socializing and playing with the pups and go to bed at 10 PM. Every 2 weeks there's bathing and trimming as well. It's exhausting. So I may only have time for short replies unless someone is seriously interested. It's a lot of work to raise pups well!

But I think your comments speak more to the sad state of our educational system then anything else. Well, it's time to feed the pups! Regards!


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

Well, given the appalling quality of documentation I have received recently from several solicitors, a profession that you would expect to be extra careful about grammar and proof reading, I think it may be expecting rather a lot of a busy, sleep deprived human whose focus is on their dogs to produce well framed, coherently detailed email responses! And if the lists of questions from potential puppy buyers are anything like the increasingly recondite pages of Landlord Enquiry questionnaires I have been dealing with, I have considerable sympathy with the recipients. Most breeders I know are not of the generation that grew up with the internet - they certainly have not done courses on how to write emails. As a rule they have a website that was set up for them some years ago that is updated rather intermittently, an email address they check most days, and a telephone number. Some, of course, are completely comfortable with the technology, but none have the resources of the big commercial operations when it comes to sales and marketing.

I've found the most successful means of communication is to send some basic details about myself, the kind of home I can offer and what I am looking for in a pup, and to ask when it would be convenient to telephone. That way the breeder can politely decline - or even ignore me - if they consider me unsuitable or are unlikely to have pups available, and I avoid phoning them when they are in the throes of a difficult delivery or have another puppy buyer on site. Once we have established that I am genuinely interested, and that a suitable pup may be available, we can progress to the next stages of further detais and possibly visits.


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