# Growling at my boyfriend



## Presley (Oct 28, 2012)

Hi, my dog Presley has started to growl at my boyfriend, some times it's worse.
The worst is when he starts growl when my BF is just looking at him. We got the dog together, and it is a little sad that the dog don't trust him. Presley is a unsecure dog, and has some problems whit confidence.
Do you have some tips how to get the dogs confidence higher? He does not want to play much, and is afraid to have any kind of tug of war whit us, he just lets go of the toy and goes to sleep.


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## TrinaBoo (Apr 3, 2012)

By no means am I a professional, but my rescue toy poodle was a little shy of my husband. So I put him in charge of treats! If he would sit on the couch next to Trina, he would simply give her a treat. No talking or anything, but just put a treat next to her. As a couple weeks went on he would pet her slowly and gently and then give her a treat. It honestly didn't take very long for her to warm up to my husband. Trina came from a very overwhelmed breeder and didn't have a ton of interaction with different people. She doesn't play either unless she has a burst of energy and it is on her own terms. It may take a while for Presley to show his true colors. The wait is worth the bond you will share. Good luck! : )


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## Presley (Oct 28, 2012)

Thanks TrinaBoo, we have tried many things, and are working on this. But in a difrent way, maby this will help a little more to get him started to trust again.
My boyfriend was a little hard on him untill I told him to stop.
But this is kind of wieard, at this point Presley is growling at him and wawing his tale like he is happy. but I think i just wants some alone time, since its late.


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## TrinaBoo (Apr 3, 2012)

Tail wagging can also mean stress, irritation, things like that. Or, I WILL BITE YOU! Especially, when paired with growling. You are right though, Presley wants to be left alone!!! 

What do you mean your boyfriend was hard on Presley?


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## Presley (Oct 28, 2012)

Ok, that I did not know, so thanks. He was like old type of training dogs, put him in the back on the ground as soon as Presley start to growl. But he has been arguing whit me for so longe as we had the dog, we have tried his methode, but both agreed on that my methode is betther, don't tuch the dog, leave him alone when he is like that.
I have never been hard on the dog, and he sees how much the dog trust me, he also says its because the dog only likes me and is way over attached to me. But Presley has not learned to be alone at our home yet, and I am aducated at home, so the dog is whit me at all houers.
But I really don't think the dog likes me more in that way, I think the dog only is afried of my BF...


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## TrinaBoo (Apr 3, 2012)

Afraid...YES! It's good that you told your boyfriend to stop all that! It is also good that he notices the benefits of not treating Presley like that. Poodles are VERY smart and VERY intuitive. I would definitely have your bf do the treat thing. And even be the one who puts food in Presley's bowl. Everything good should come from you and especially your boyfriend. It also sounds like Presley's previous home was frightening too. 

Thankfully, you found the forum and can receive advice. I'm sure other members will add their input too! Presley sure is a cutie!


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## Presley (Oct 28, 2012)

Thank you :act-up: He came from a home whit alot of children, and you know how hard they can be on animals. So I'm trying to make him relax around children, whit children I trust. I tried to let him meet a boy I did not know, the boy tok around Presleys snout, I was so shocked I tok Presley and walked away whitout a word, so no more children I don't know and trust.

I realises that he is smart, I can talk to him, like: take this to the livingroom and eat it, and he does. But I think he is outsmarting me, I think that he knows if he barks or ackt out when we leave him alone he does not have to be alone :aetsch:
Because he can be alone at night, be alone outside the store or alone in the car, just not in the home.
I have taken a webinar on separation Anxiety, and been on a consultion to get help, he manage everything beside be alone in the house.

I'm greatfull fore your answers, it's a bit hard to get to know people whit poodle in my area. So thank you


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## TrinaBoo (Apr 3, 2012)

I think at one point or another we have all been outsmarted by our poodles! 

Give the kids that you know and trust some yummy treats and that will help Presley associate kids with good food and good experiences. I have a 16 month old son and he drops food when he is in his highchair just for Trina, my toy. It has to be the only reason she tolerates him. If other kids are in the house she gets up on the back of the couch and tries to blend in so she isn't noticed. But give the kids food and she is their best doggy friend. : )


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## Presley (Oct 28, 2012)

Thanks, I have a little sister that is 15 years old, and Presley is growling at her, but if I give her sausage (hes best treat ever) he accepts her. So that is something I am greatful to hear you say, I'm on the right track. One of my friend have a 1 year old doughter whit a cat, they have theach her to be nice to the cat, so when Presley met her se let him sniff her hand and then gently cuddle whit him. I was chocked that a 1 year old could do anything like that, and my dog likes her. everytime he sees her he wawe his tale hand walks genty to her and lick her hand. It makes med calm that maby some day we can have a child on our one and Presley will accept it if we teach the child how to be around the dog.

He is a bit damaged, might been pressured to hard on things he don't like.
I have to pressure him to shave his feets, and to cut his nails. He is afraid to get hurt, I think he has been before, but I'm not shoure.

Have you read the book culture clash by Jean Donaldson, I have stared on it and what I have read by now is great.


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## TrinaBoo (Apr 3, 2012)

No I haven't. There a few books that others have mentioned that I would like to read. 

It's so sad to hear of a poodle (any dog) in a rough situation. I'm glad the owners decided on what was best for Presley. 

Every time Presley growled or snapped at the kids/people, he probably got put up or put outside. It worked for him though didn't it? It got him out of the scary situation. It will take him time to learn that you won't let anything harm him. The other plus is that at least he growls and gives a warning. Some dogs just snap. My 6 yr old son's scars are proof.

Keep updating the forum on his victories! Big & small.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

I agree with TrinaBoo's advice. Dogs growl to tell us something is making them uncomfortable, or frightening them. If we punish them for growling, then we are teaching them that they need to take more direct action - which is often painful for us and potentially lethal for the dog. Much better to work on changing the way the dog feels about things. If your BF has been using bullying methods, I would let Presley decide how he wants to interact with him, giving him control over how close he comes. Sit your BF down with a good book or TV programme, scatter a few really good treats on the floor a metre or two away from him, and ask him to completely ignore Presley if he approaches. If that is successful, move the next scattering of treats a bit closer; if Presley is still reluctant to approach, move them a bit further away. Once he is happily taking treats scattered over your BF, move on to BF offering him one, with no pressure or eye contact. It should not take too long for him to recognise BF = Good Stuff for Poodles, although any recurrence of forceful behaviour or shouting is likely to set you right back to the beginning.

On feet and nails - I found lots of treats, and gradual desensitising worked best. Touch the foot briefly, treat immediately. Repeat several times. Next session touch for a little longer. Move on gradually to holding the paw briefly then treating. Then just touch very briefly with the nail clipper or trimmer (switched off). Lots of very short sessions over several days should soon have him tolerating feet and nail trimming much better - especially if you use really good treats! Take care to trim only a tiny bit of nail at a time, so it cannot hurt, and don't try to do too many at once. Eventually you will be able to trim all the nails for one treat.


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## MaryLynn (Sep 8, 2012)

How old is he?

Fearful behavior can lead to aggression, so don't push him too hard to accept these things that bother him and especially not with children. I would work on his confidence and fear before introducing too many children to him, as you never want to put a child at risk. 

Have you done group classes with him? Those are great for building confidence and socializing, and then you can perhaps get a little 1 on 1 advice with a trainer that can help you pinpoint exactly what's stressing him out so much about your boyfriend and sister. 

It sounds like your boyfriend's training methods were probably a little on the hostile side, and now he is fearful of your boyfriend. The advice you have been given already is good. Stop trying to make them get a long, and just have your boyfriend ignore him and introduce food and treats and praise to your dog, and let him make a new connection with your boyfriend on his own terms.


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## Presley (Oct 28, 2012)

He is 2,5 years old. Group classes is a bit hard to be a part of where I live, since it never are eny of them.


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## msminnamouse (Nov 4, 2010)

It's sounds like you're on the right tract and making good progress. I'm glad your bf listened to you. It's never a good thing to punish growling. One thing I'd suggest is having your BF or children give or even toss him a treat BEFORE he even has the chance to growl. When he growls, it means that he's already over threshold. You want to keep him below what he can handle and slowly build up to higher aspirations. 

Maybe try this. One treat if he growls before your bf can get the treat to him, and two treats if your bf can get the treat to him before he growls. He'll learn that it's better to stay calm rather than act defensively. But if you guys aren't that fast, you're still building a positive association with the one treat if he growls.

Hope that makes sense.


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## msminnamouse (Nov 4, 2010)

Here's a wonderful video to illustrate how to counter condition and desensitize to nail trims. If you prefer nail grinders, start building a positive association from a distance away so he gets used to the sound. Always put his ears in socks and hold the hair on his paws back so they don't get caught. 

Dog Nail Trim | Videos | Dr. Sophia Yin, DVM, MS

Remember, you don't have to do all the nails at one time. I do one nail at a time. If even that much, sometimes. Cut towards you, not side to side or you'll squeeze the nail. *Shave the length off in stages.* It's almost impossible to quick a dog this way. Don't chop large bits off or you chance cutting off too much and causing pain and/or bleeding. Make sure your clippers are nice and sharp and don't offer much resistance or you'll just be squeezing the nail.


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