# Aloof & little response



## linnil (Jul 3, 2011)

We got a 9 week standard poodle for 4 days from a breeder. At the first day he got home, he was very active in the yard and ran to you immediately after been called. We gave him a bath the second day and he would lay down right next to you quietly

However, since then, he's very aloof. He doesn't show any affection to both us and our friends. Not excited as other pup and doesnt even move. When being called, he gave my wife the coldest look and never moves. He doesn't respond to anything. He bites her and will move to a different location if she gets close. Same thing happens to me. My wife feeds him.

Plus he's not that into treats. Maybe one or two bites and that is it. Thus we are having trouble getting him into the crate as he refuses then we have nothing to attract him into it. 

We are new dog owners but ive read a lot about raising puppies. We are in help now. What should we do. We totally adore him and just want him to even just show that he knows us and don't move away when we want to pet him.

Thanks.


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## all that jazz (Feb 6, 2011)

My puppy also used to move away when I pet him while he was laying down on the couch. If I went to sit next to him he also got up and moved to the furthest end of the couch. He is now 8 months and no longer does this. From what I understand they don't like to be petted on their heads, their sides is better. They don't like to be petted when you are towering over them either. I would encourage you to play fetch their cuddly toy and play with a tug toy with you dog. Give it some time. The mouthing and/or nipping will dissipate after about three months. Redirect your puppy with the toy.


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## whitepoodles (Jul 5, 2010)

Linil:

I have been breeding standard poodles now for 16 years and showing for 19.

While raising my puppies and during their socialization, I make it a point to start shaving their faces, feet underbelly and necks as well as base of tail, and clip their nails often so that they get accustomed to the noise of the clipper and handling of their body parts.

At 4 weeks old winter or summer all puppies are introduced to thier first bath which means introducing them to water which may or may not be a frightening experience for a puppy. 

It is the breeder's responsiblity while socializing the pups she brings into this world to make sure that the puppies are introduced to water , bathing and grooming starting at 4 weeks old at latest, which will make the puppy less frightened and much more comfortable with the grooming process once they are mature.

There are breeders who do not introduce puppies to grooming , shaving let alone bathing before they sell the puppy, so I have no idea to what extent your pup was groomed and handled by your breeder but from what your describe your puppy's behavior is after his bath/grooming to me it sounds that this puppy MAY BE (but I can be wrong) UNforgiving and that any unpleasant situation for him will exacerbate an aloof reaction and no response to the owner as well as refusal to forget and forgive.

There ARE puppies who are this way and it takes alot of patient from their owners to bring them around and show them that the grooming process can be enjoyable for both pup and owner. 

Grooming your dog is a time of bonding with your dog and nothing else.

Can you please describe to me HOW you groomed the puppy and how you manipulated him during the grooming/bathing process, this may also shed some light as to why he changed toward you especially nipping and bitting at you AFTER he was groomed.


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## linnil (Jul 3, 2011)

He was groomed very well at the breeders. I'm not an expert but I don't think it's caused by showering. He bite a little bit before the shower as well. And he was very cooperative during and after the showering. He still came to us while he wants to lay down that night.

The breeder showed us how to clip his finger nail when we were there and she said he's very used to it, which infers that she's been doing things like that to him before.

We picked a relatively quiet one from the litter and we are afraid that he might be too quiet. Is there such thing as a puppy that is too quiet?

What should my wife do to make him loving her more. I don't see her doing anything wrong. Maybe the way we pet him? I'm confused.


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## Purley (May 21, 2010)

My miniature, Lucy, was just like that. I thought that she was just not very friendly but it just took a while. Lucy did things gradually. She liked to be around me but she wouldn't come a sit beside me. Now she is just fine. I think that there are dogs who are naturally super friendly at first and then there are others who are still friendly inside, but they take time to show it on the outside. I didn't force Lucy to come and sit with me. I just waited until she was ready. It can be frustrating because if you are like me, you think she will always be like this.


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## linnil (Jul 3, 2011)

Thanks for your reply. I hope he will change and be a little bit expressive as he grows in our family.

By the way, here is his picture when we got him the first day.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

I think all you can do is concentrate on building the relationship. When you say your pup is biting, do you mean puppy nipping (which they all do), or real, I want to hurt you and make you go away, snarling biting? Lots of good advice on using the puppy biting to teach long term bite inhibition on the dogstardaily.com site. If you have a pup of that age which is really intending to hurt, frankly I would be returning him to the breeder. He would not be a suitable pet for a first time dog owner.

Remember your pup has just had a huge upheaval in his life - he is missing his mum and his siblings, and is getting used to a new place, new people, new rules, new sights, sounds and smells, all at the same time. You chose a less confident puppy - this is not necessarily a bad thing, but may mean that you need to work hard and carefully on socialising him, to ensure he grows up into a happy and confident dog. Again, the Dog Star Daily site is a good source of information. 

I would be very careful not to scold him - keep things light and happy, and establish a good routine quickly. Find out what he loves - food, games, a tug toy - and use that to reward him for approaching you. And give him some time to adjust - the temptation is to show your new pup off to all your family and friends as quickly as possible, but that can be rather more than the new addition can cope with!


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## linnil (Jul 3, 2011)

he's not biting to scare you. Just being mouthy. 

He's better on that now but he will still run away if my wife holds him. He'll stay for several seconds and then struggle to get away to a new place and sit there. Which makes us very frustrated, especially my wife who's loving him wholeheartedly.


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## CurlyDog (Aug 20, 2008)

I had somewhat the same issue with Raleigh in the first few days. Days one and two he was really affectionate and cuddly. After that all he did was bite (nippy puppy bites). I really wondered if I'd picked the wrong one. After spending a lot of time training (with his kibble at mealtime) he started to tone down the nipping and be more eager to please.


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## linnil (Jul 3, 2011)

As I mentioned, he's not that into treats and there is nothing to allure him into the crate. So we have to push him some times. Is it the reason why? But I'm the one who's always doing this, not my wife. I also need advice on how to make him love the crate. He's not at the moment. However, he doesn't bark or anything in it.


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## EmilyK (Mar 26, 2011)

Maybe try some different treats? We've starting giving ours no salt added deli turkey because the Wellness treats were bothering his stomach. Unsurprisingly, he LOVES turkey. It might be worth a try. We also have found that he really loves Zukes Mini Naturals. 

I hope things get better soon! He is an adorable little guy!


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## CurlyDog (Aug 20, 2008)

I feel really lucky that Raleigh is food motivated. He will work for a piece of kibble as if it were a liver treat. He does get especially excited for any raw food and I often feed him in his crate. He also loves the Zukes minis as well as Biljac liver treats.


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## Gorky (Jul 14, 2009)

Lichen loves Zukes Superfood training biscuits as well as Canyon Creek Duck Tenders. You can get the duck tenders at Petsmart. I swear by the duck tenders. When all else fails Lichen will take these dried low fat duck pieces.


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## outwest (May 1, 2011)

Since no one has mentioned it, I will. Has your puppy been to the veterinarian? It is possible that he is sick or that something is hurting him. When dogs are sick they are very quiet and aloof, trying to hide. If something is hurting him, he could be nippy when you go to pick him up or pat him. You say he is not that into treats. Is he eating well otherwise? The reason I mention this is because when you first brought him home he was happy and friendly. If a puppy is like this at first it is unusual for them to suddenly change like that. 

If you have ruled out all physical causes for his behavior, he could just be depressed temporarily. Remember- he just left his Mommy and his brothers and sisters. It takes a couple weeks for a puppy to start feeling like they belong in your family and to really bond with you. 

Please let us know if he has been to the vets and that he is physically healthy. Then people can help suggest things to make him feel more at home.


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## JE-UK (Mar 10, 2010)

It can be frustrating, I know. 

I would echo outwest, and make sure he is seen by a vet (which he should be anyway, for his jabs, correct?).

If he isn't eating well, he might have a bit of a belly ache; what food is he on? Is it the same as he was getting at the breeder's?

If you rule out discomfort, then you have to become a bit of a detective and find out what he likes ... how he likes to be petted, what treats he enjoys. Most dogs don't like to be physically restrained, and nearly all hate being patted on the head. When mine was a pup, I spent lots of time lying on the floor surrounded by toys :smile:. He was totally NOT a cuddly puppy, but he's grown into a very cuddly dog. Sometimes there is just too much going on for a puppy to settle in and be a lap dog. 

As far as treats, I find mine isn't thrilled by most commercial treats. He adores boiled chicken, cheese, hot dogs, homemade liver cake, all in tiny bits for training. 

I'd be working hard at this time of his life to firmly establish people as a source of Good Things for Poodles. The only difficulty is that HE gets to define those, and you have to figure out what they are :smile:.


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## Olie (Oct 10, 2009)

Lot's of suggestions here, however I think this sounds pretty normal for many new pups. Poodles are mouthy, always working with their mouths. Eventually it will be their paws LOL. You just have to redirect this.

Also the crate - I used treats. I would also play by the crate for a few minutes before time to go in. I would use high value treats like hot dogs - dogs love them and I would toss treats in the crate as well during the play. I would also praise when they went into the crate after the hot dog piece or whatever you use to lure pup in. 

It's so early for all of you. Pups will pick their people and work from there. One thing I always recommend is share in feeding and training. It helps everyone in the long run.


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## Cynthadia (Oct 22, 2010)

I wouldn't press him at all to interact with you by petting him and talking (especially baby talking) to him. By petting and talking to him when he exhibits incorrect behavior only reinforces the undesired (aloof) behavior.

Try to make him want to play with you by excluding him from what he perceives might be interesting and fun activities. In other words, reverse psychology. Sit on the floor with another person and toss a squeaky toy back and forth to the other person. Squeak the toy and make a big deal out of having fun playing with it. If he even gazes for a moment in your direction when you're tossing the toy, that's the first indication that he's even remotely interested in the humans around him. If he moves toward you to look at the toy, toss it to the other person. Play this keep away until the dog becomes excited and then toss the toy to him. Don't try to tak the toy away, but let him play with it for a minute or two and then get out another toy and start tossing to the other other person. Keep on switching toys until the dog understands the nature of the game. If he doesn't show interest in another toy, get a big piece of food and toss it back and forth. 

Poodles are very social and curious by nature, and if he doesn't start to quickly show some interest in his surroundings, I'd be seriously concerned about his temperament. 

Please let us know how things progress.


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## Rayah-QualitySPs (Aug 31, 2010)

linnil said:


> However, since then, he's very aloof. He doesn't show any affection to both us and our friends. Not excited as *other pup* and doesnt even move. When being called, he gave my wife the coldest look and never moves. He doesn't respond to anything. He bites her and will move to a different location if she gets close. Same thing happens to me. My wife feeds him.
> 
> Thus we are having trouble getting him into the crate as he refuses then we have nothing to attract him into it.
> 
> Thanks.


Do you have more than one puppy? All my advice is based on the fact that he has seen a vet for a well visit and is healthy.

He may be _confused _about what he is to do. Some poodles like to please but they do not know what you really want. Often your _body language_ is different then what you think and sends *mixed signals* to the puppy. He may be a puppy that needs to think things through. I am sure he is not looking at your wife coldly but just does not _understand_ what he is supposed to do. 

Have you phoned your breeder and asked why your puppy might be this way?

If he was my puppy I would buy a few cheap leashes and keep one on him when he is loose in the house or outside. Then you do not need to bend over him to get him. You just step on the leash and can gently pull him towards you. I do not punish puppies who chew on the leash - that is why I buy 6 or 7 really inexpensive ones.

One way to get a puppy to come to you is to _run away from him_. Then he should chase you which is a lot like following. The puppy must be _focused on you_ when you _start_ to run away. When the puppy catches you reward with a food treat - a really little piece of something really tasty. Not all dogs are food oriented but if you put it in his mouth and he tastes the flavor he might eat it eventually.

I would also feed him and water him in his crate. Provide the food for him 3 times a day and only leave it in the crate for 15 minutes. Make sure if he eats you take him out to go to the bathroom. Is the crate in a safe place so the puppy can eat or sleep in peace? If the puppy does not cry in the crate you are very lucky.

Do you make sure he has a morning and afternoon nap? I find puppies who get overtired often nip more. 

Puppies thrive with consistency so set up a schedule for feeding and nap time plus bedtime and try to stick with it until he is more secure in your home.

Try to sign up for a puppy socialization class where rewards are offered. You do not need to wait until your puppy is older. Start now - Two vaccinations will provide enough immunity for socialization classes.


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## linnil (Jul 3, 2011)

Thanks every one for replying! I do appreciate your help as a new dog owner.

Before reading them one by one. I need to say that things are getting better now. Our puppy is enjoying the treat we give him and he is going into crate with the treat alluring him. We also learnt how to establish us as the pack leader and he's a much happier dog those two days. Although he's still relatively inactive indoors, he follows us when we walk around and looks at us. He is very active out doors and is picking up tricks with the help of treats.

I think an obedience training would be very helpful for him and us. 

One more thing, what should i do if he's barking at me or he's trying to be mouthy.

Thanks!


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## linnil (Jul 3, 2011)

outwest said:


> Since no one has mentioned it, I will. Has your puppy been to the veterinarian? It is possible that he is sick or that something is hurting him. When dogs are sick they are very quiet and aloof, trying to hide. If something is hurting him, he could be nippy when you go to pick him up or pat him. You say he is not that into treats. Is he eating well otherwise? The reason I mention this is because when you first brought him home he was happy and friendly. If a puppy is like this at first it is unusual for them to suddenly change like that.
> 
> If you have ruled out all physical causes for his behavior, he could just be depressed temporarily. Remember- he just left his Mommy and his brothers and sisters. It takes a couple weeks for a puppy to start feeling like they belong in your family and to really bond with you.
> 
> Please let us know if he has been to the vets and that he is physically healthy. Then people can help suggest things to make him feel more at home.


Thanks. We went to the vet the second day after we gave him the bath. And the vet says that he's super healthy! I don't think it's the physical reason.


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## linnil (Jul 3, 2011)

so more and more often, he'll run to us when called. However, it's less likely when he's down on the ground. I think we still need to work on that. 

I find treat and training very helpful. When he knows that he needs to sit down to get the treat, he's a much better dog. He still doesn't enjoy sitting on our lap. Is that true to your poodle when they were puppy? I don't have to make it a lap dog but hope that he would not refuse when sitting on the lap for a long time. Well, it's going to be hard when he grows up anyway as he's a standard.


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## JE-UK (Mar 10, 2010)

linnil said:


> One more thing, what should i do if he's barking at me or he's trying to be mouthy.


Now is a great time to start "Ow" training, with those sharp puppy teeth. When he's engage and playing happily with you, and bites with sharp puppy teeth, say "OWW" and stop playing for 10 seconds. Repeat ad infinitum :smile:. Helps to have a toy handy to substitute. The message you are trying to convey is "hey, when I bite hard, the fun stops". Gradually, you can use OW for softer and softer bites, until he thinks that human skin must be the most fragile thing on earth. It's really important that he learns bite inhibition, i.e. how to control his jaws, at a young age. This is important for him as an adult! Dogs can be fantastically, spookily precise with their teeth, but they have to learn.

On the barking, is he barking AT you, or barking at something? For the former, I'd be careful that you never inadvertently give a treat for barking. Dogs are quick to connect action to consequence, and you really don't want a dog that barks incessantly at you for food, attention, etc. The more you ignore it, the more he will see it as a strategy that doesn't work, and stop doing it.

A hearty YES for obedience training! It's great fun, and poodles are wicked smart. Mine is the star of our obedience class.


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## linnil (Jul 3, 2011)

Thanks. I'll definitely try that. She's less mouthy now compared to the first two days.


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## CT Girl (Nov 17, 2010)

I think it all sounds normal to me. She has a lot of new people around who are all trying to get her attention - it can be overwelming for a puppy. Swizzle did not like being picked up at first. I did not force the issue - I would bend down and wait ... and wait ... and wait. Then he would come over and pounce me. I would not pick him up. Let him come to you. Lie on the floor and play I bet he will gradually be walking on you and want a cuddle on occasion. Don't pull him into your lap - let it be his idea. Instead of petting his head pet his throat. I have yet to meet a dog that does not love this. For the mouthiing I yelp like a puppy and it worked like a charm. I also have lots of good chew toys and bullys around. When the dog mouths something you don't want him to say bad boys bite good boy chews and give him something great to chew. I am glad to hear she is settling down already.


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## linnil (Jul 3, 2011)

Thanks guys, today is exactly one week since he got to our home. Things change fast. Now he's a bit hyper instead of shy and aloof... Yeah, puppies are unpredictable.

He's still somewhat mouthy towards my wife. My wife walks him everyday and he follows very nicely. Very smart dog and knows to follow instead of leading. I am thinking of getting something that can stuck into kong for him to chew at. Hopefully that will help.


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## BigRedDog (Mar 2, 2011)

*Aloof Dog*

I think this dog needs to be motivated and have a good reason to respond. It's possible your dog was not properly socialized to people, but spent more time with other dogs.
I read that your pet does not like treats that much, but I would cut back on his regular food, and make up for that with something irresistable such as,small bits of bacon, cheese,liver or chicken, which you keep in a bag with you.
Every time you call your dog, give him a treat for coming to you. Whenever he responds the way you want, reward him. There should never be a time when coming to you or being near you does not get a reward. I think you will find a change in "attitude" pretty quickly. After that, you can stop the treats.
Hope this works and helps!


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## ArmyWife (Jun 8, 2011)

Hi! Glad to hear that your puppy is doing better - imagine how freaked out you would be if you underwent a giant transplant from your family to a new place with aliens trying to hold you really close! 

Another treat you could try that seems to work really well are the **** Van Patten natural food rolls. I wouldn't feed them as a staple part of my dog's diet, but most of the dogs I work with (including my own VERY picky eater) will eat these like they're the most wonderful thing in the world. Granted, nothing could possibly top hot dog pieces for my pup - these are a close second. I use them as my go-to reward during training after a behavior is already shaped and being performed well. Hot dog is for shaping behaviors or working around distractions (like when we go to the store.) 

For a while when I got my puppy, he liked everyone more than me. EVERYONE. The mail man, strangers at the stores, he'd rather go with them and he'd CRY when they walked away. Now that I've had him for around a month and a half, he's just starting to show a bond with me - he follows me around and is willing to engage in games with me. But it took a LONG time. I'm thinking that some dogs just need their space to feel comfortable, and then when they realize you're actually not so bad, they come around on their own. 

As a side note, if you do decide to do obedience classes (which I really, really, really recommend. It builds a bond, helps you have a well adjusted, safe, trustworthy dog, and if it is a group class, builds a ton of socialization experience and teaches your dog to obey despite distractions, ) do a lot of research first on the person who will be doing your training. Make sure that you and your dog both feel comfortable with the person's training style! Not everyone's methods are up to date and effective - there are still a bunch of trainers who follow severe punishment models as a means to an end. 

Whew. Sorry for the long winded post!


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## Kiwi (Mar 19, 2011)

Our Pipi was a little like this, did not respond to treats or even have a fav toy. "No affection" thing has got better now and after playing fetch she has a fav toy so we use that to get interaction.
She will still duck if you try to pet her head and will come more often than not if I knee down.
Pipi is my first poodle and she is so different compared to terriers, you have to treat her like a child more so, show her better ways to behave and no firm voice or grrr when bad, as she just shuts down.
We feel coming from a breeder (lots of dogs around, brothers sisters etc)she was just unsure around people, anyway she has very much become part of the family now


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## gails1116 (Nov 18, 2013)

I have a similar situation with a 5 month old.Extremely aloof. Had him for one month.Doesn't come when called and just wants to stay outside .This is my 5th standard and have never experienced this. He also is a very picky eater.Does not eat what he should be at this age. Any advice would be appreciated.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

This is an old thread, gails1116 - you may get more response if you start a new thread. What is your pup's background? Was he reared in the house, or outside?


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## gails1116 (Nov 18, 2013)

I don't know how to start a new post! lol...He was raised outside and we got him at 16 weeks. Even though that is still young he seems really like an outside dog! Trying to change that but it's difficult. It also confuses him with the housebreaking. He learned how to ring a bell in a day now he rings non stop just to go outside! Out of 3 cups of food a day he maybe eats 1. Such a picky eater. I'll try to start a new post thank you!


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