# Time for euthanasia



## tenortime (Aug 25, 2010)

I have not posted a message here for many years, but I feel compelled to do so now to help address my great grief. Tomorrow we will putting our beloved, standard, Lincoln to sleep. Lincoln was part of Carole Beresh's last litter. He is only 6 years old. What began as a nosebleed a month ago has now become progressive bone cancer. Yesterday he stopped eating and his left eye is virtually shut (cancer began in his left sinus). We know it is time for this but it is so very hard. Lincoln means everything to us. He is beautiful (stayed a very dark brown all his life), wonderful temperament, and just a kind soul. Not very sure how we will get through this. The wait for the vet tomorrow is killing us, but we love our vet and want her to be the one to administer the drug. He is so young and was so healthy. Our other dog, our havanese, will be sad also. She will be losing her best friend. Should we bring her to the appt with the vet so she can say goodbye too, or will she just be confused? I know that things will be brighter in a few weeks, but all I want now is to wake up from this nightmare. Keep us in your thoughts as we pursue what is best for Lincoln.


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## Verve (Oct 31, 2016)

I'm so sorry. We've lost so many wonderful people and dogs this year, and Carole was one of them. I hope you can take comfort in imagining a joyful reunion with his grandma tomorrow. 

I lost my 7.5 year old suddenly to thrombocytopenia two years ago. We lost him at the e-vet, and chose to let my girl Phoebe come into the room with us with his body as we sat around and grieved. She grieved with us in the weeks and months that followed, but I think it helped her to understand what had happened. 

Hugs to you.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

I am so very, very sorry. I do not need to tell you that you are doing the best and kindest thing for him - you know that already. I hope that knowing also that you are taking all the fear, anxiety and pain upon yourselves in order to spare him helps to make letting him go just a little easier. We will be thinking of you.

I do not know what would be best for your Havanese - perhaps seeing and smelling him afterwards will make it easier for her than if he just leaves in the car and does not come back? Sometimes it is easier for everyone if the vet comes to you, but that is for you to decide.


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## Streetcar (Apr 13, 2014)

I am so sorry for your coming loss, and for Lincoln's illness. You are granting him what he needs, a gentle peace and rest.

Yes, I would bring your Havanese most likely so she can see him after he passes. Maybe if she is excitable or gets nervous at the vet keep her out of the room during the procedure, but then bring her in afterwards and let her see and smell him, and touch him, if she chooses. They are very smart and understand.

Sending you wishes for peace and comfort, knowing you are giving the last best gift possible to your dear boy.


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## twyla (Apr 28, 2010)

I am so sorry about Lincoln, I know that words fail to truly comfort but my thoughts are with you through this Difficult time, and yes you should have your other dog present, it helps them understand I did this when Flower's sister Cappi had to be let go almost 2 years ago.


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## zooeysmom (Jan 3, 2014)

In tears for you--I'm so sorry :'( You will be in my thoughts tomorrow, and today as you prepare for the goodbye. I agree with everyone that having your Hav there would be helpful to her. Sending you a big hug :love2:


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## MollyMuiMa (Oct 13, 2012)

I send the thought to you that you are doing the most unselfish, loving, thing a person can do for a well loved companion. That you are giving Lincoln a peaceful crossing is wonderful...........and I too think your Havanese should have a chance to bid her friend farewell, although I would perhaps wait until the procedure was done.


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## Mfmst (Jun 18, 2014)

I am so very sorry. It is the greatest kindness and the most unselfish thing that we can do for our beloved animals. Also one of the hardest. You are in my thoughts.


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## Liz (Oct 2, 2010)

Sending you strength. You are in my thoughts.


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## PixieSis (Aug 18, 2015)

So very sorry for you. As others have said you are doing the most selfless thing for Lincoln but that doesn't mean it won't hurt. Sending you strength.


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## oshagcj914 (Jun 12, 2016)

So sorry for you and Lincoln  You'll be in my thought tomorrow.


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## Nicofreako (Aug 19, 2013)

You are being very strong and kind at this difficult time, and Lincoln has the gift of a peaceful, loving passing because of your strength. You have my condolences for your loss. 
I think having Lincoln's best friend with him at the time will alleviate any future doubts whether she could understand what happened. In simpler terms, it may help her, and if it doesn't, it will not hurt her. 
So having her with you will give you the answer as to whether she benefits emotionally from understanding what happened.


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## glorybeecosta (Nov 11, 2014)

My deepest condolence for you. I have never taken my other dogs when I had to put them over the rainbow bridge. Most had no problems however, with one I did, she pined for her and lost interest in everything and everybody, so I do not know what is the best. Normally I was in such a state I did not want the other dog there


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## Asta's Mom (Aug 20, 2014)

Condolences - it is so hard to lose a beloved companion. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and Lincoln tomorrow.


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## ericwd9 (Jun 13, 2014)

Lincoln is a lucky dog. He has had a happy, if short life with you. He will now be spared the pain of his disease. Sadly the pain of his passing will last for you. Please see:

http://www.poodleforum.com/37-pet-memorials/194450-do-we-really-lose-them.html#post2245834

Eric and Gracie.


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## Viking Queen (Nov 12, 2014)

My heart and prayers are with you at this very difficult time. I am so sorry you are all having to go through this terrible loss.

Know that he had a truly wonderful life with you and that he is aware of your deep love.

Cathy


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## marialydia (Nov 23, 2013)

It's so dreadfully hard, isn't it, but we all know that this is a wonderful gift you are giving Lincoln. I am glad you could come here to tell us of your grief, and you know that we all share it, having experienced it and knowing we will again. 

Lincoln will be so lucky to be comforted and surrounded by your love as he passes from this life. I too am not sure about bringing your Havanese; I, like glorybeecosta am usually in such a state that it's not good for the other dogs. Somehow they seem to know anyway that their pal is gone.

Many hugs to you and to Lincoln.


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## Click-N-Treat (Nov 9, 2015)

So sorry to hear about Lincoln. Gentle hugs.


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## ArreauStandardPoodle (Sep 1, 2009)

My heart aches for you. I am truly sorry. When we lost our matriarch, we were bringing her home to bury her. We put her body right up tight against the dog run so the others could sniff her and say goodbye. I could tell by their body language that they knew something was different. They watched her get buried and seemed to be at peace. I'd take your Havanese and maybe wait until Lincoln is gone and bring her into the room to have time to be with her friend. And her presence will bring you a lot of comfort I think. Big warm cyber hugs and prayers for peace and a soft, easy journey to the other side for your beloved boy.


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## TrixieTreasure (May 24, 2015)

I'm so very sorry. It's so emotionally hard when we have to go through losing our beloved pets. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. We're here for you.
((( hugs)))


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## peppersb (Jun 5, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss. So sad to have to say goodbye and especially at such a young age. 

My boy Bob is 16 and having trouble getting around, so I have thought a lot about whether I will let my other two dogs see the process when/if he gets euthanized. I'm basically thinking, as Arreau suggested, that the best thing is to let the remaining pets see the body but not the process of euthanasia. I feel quite convinced that the remaining pet should be allowed as much sniffing of the body as he/she wants. When Sophie died, I brought her body back from the vet hospital to be burried in a hole that was there waiting for her. Her body was carried directly to the grave, and Bob got only a very quick whiff. He was very interested/curious and I wish that I had let him spend some time with her body. He took her death pretty hard, and was depressed and sad until 2 months later when 8-week-old Cammie came to cheer him up. So when Bob dies, I am going to let Cammie and Sam do as much sniffing as they want. And that's my recommendation for your Havanese.

So sorry -- for you and for Lincoln, and for your Havanese. It is not easy no matter how you handle it.


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## Caddy (Nov 23, 2014)

I am so sorry, it doesn't get much harder than this, thinking of you today and in the weeks to come. I do agree with others that your other dog would benefit by being included in some way, hugs.


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## Nicofreako (Aug 19, 2013)

I just want to stop in to say my thoughts are with you today. Much love and hugs to you and your family.


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## Skylar (Jul 29, 2016)

Our vet used to come to the house to euthanized a pet but he's so busy he doesn't do it anymore, so we used a hospice vet a few years ago to put one of our cats to sleep (he was dying from polycystic kidney disease). She specifically wanted any of the pets that were interested to watch what she was doing, and once he had passed, she left his body on the floor while she left the house to do paperwork so that the other pets could come up and sniff him. She felt it helped them deal with his loss. One watched the whole process and two cats sniffed after he was dead, the third one looked on from a distance.

We just put another cat to sleep last week but this time at the vet's office. I had taken him in hoping there was one more thing we could do to save him as we weren't ready yet to let him go but his shocking lab results meant there was nothing left so we put him to sleep immediately. Our pets did not get to see or smell him. I'm not a pet behaviorist, but I'm not seeing any difference in their behavior.

You are doing the right thing - it's so hard to make that decision, but such a good thing to spare them pain. I would take both dogs, especially if you think having the second dog is soothing and comforting to the dog who will be put to sleep.

(((HUGS)))


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## ArreauStandardPoodle (Sep 1, 2009)

Thinking about you today and sending warm thoughts and gentle hugs.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

I too am thinking of you - I hope it was a peaceful, easy slipping away for Lincoln. The grief can be overwhelming at first - be kind to yourselves and to each other.


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## tenortime (Aug 25, 2010)

*Lincoln*

We put Lincoln to sleep this last Monday. Our 8 year old havanese is showing regressive behavior--wetting in her crate, defecating on the rug. I know she is having a difficult time, as we all are. We are trying to shower her with as much attention as possible to help her through this. The house is deafeningly quiet. I seem to slowly improve as the days go by, but my wife is still crying most evenings. I have started looking at possible breeders for a new puppy but we are definitely not ready for that right now. I still think you need to spend the time and effort to find the right breeder when it is time. I am fearful that my wife may never be ready for a new dog. She has told me that she cannot bear going through another loss. Have any of you had this same experience where one parent wants another pet and the other does not?


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## ArreauStandardPoodle (Sep 1, 2009)

tenortime said:


> We put Lincoln to sleep this last Monday. Our 8 year old havanese is showing regressive behavior--wetting in her crate, defecating on the rug. I know she is having a difficult time, as we all are. We are trying to shower her with as much attention as possible to help her through this. The house is deafeningly quiet. I seem to slowly improve as the days go by, but my wife is still crying most evenings. I have started looking at possible breeders for a new puppy but we are definitely not ready for that right now. I still think you need to spend the time and effort to find the right breeder when it is time. I am fearful that my wife may never be ready for a new dog. She has told me that she cannot bear going through another loss. Have any of you had this same experience where one parent wants another pet and the other does not?


Have you thought about puppy play dates? One of our puppy families who is WUB here on the forum is in Mendota Heights. They have Jasper and Gideon and meet up once a week with Gideon's litter sister Willa. They have all been well socialized with other dogs. This may help your little girl, and watching the puppy antics of Gideon and Willa might be therapeutic for you too! My heart is heavy for you all. xoxo


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## glorybeecosta (Nov 11, 2014)

tenortime said:


> We put Lincoln to sleep this last Monday. Our 8 year old havanese is showing regressive behavior--wetting in her crate, defecating on the rug. I know she is having a difficult time, as we all are. We are trying to shower her with as much attention as possible to help her through this. The house is deafeningly quiet. I seem to slowly improve as the days go by, but my wife is still crying most evenings. I have started looking at possible breeders for a new puppy but we are definitely not ready for that right now. I still think you need to spend the time and effort to find the right breeder when it is time. I am fearful that my wife may never be ready for a new dog. She has told me that she cannot bear going through another loss. Have any of you had this same experience where one parent wants another pet and the other does not?


I have put 5 previous poodles down and it hurts the same each time, but I also know my other one could not survive with out a buddy, so I usually try to get a new one before the other one crossing the rainbow bridge. You may want to discuss your other dog and missing Lincoln with your wife, and Lincoln will always be in her heart but another can ease some of the pain, and keep her busy


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## PixieSis (Aug 18, 2015)

I was the same as your wife and didn't want another after we lost our standard Jake. I had lost others but he was only ten and his illness and loss hit very hard. We saw obvious signs of grief from Raleigh which was heartbreaking to see. We weren't ready and then other things got in the way and we waited 7.5 years to get Jamie. It was too long for Raleigh to be an only child and she barely tolerates her but it's better than it was in the beginning. We should have done it sooner.....oh well. You will both know when you are ready for another. The loss is so very hard to take but what they give us while they are here makes up for it.


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## zooeysmom (Jan 3, 2014)

My mom was the same as your wife after our family's two elderly dogs passed on (the last of a "generation" of our family dogs). However, within a month, she started yearning for a puppy again and brought home a shih Tzu. I have a feeling your wife will want a puppy, but she needs to grieve right now. Hugs and love to you guys.


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## peppersb (Jun 5, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know what is best for you and your wife, but I feel quite sure that a new playmate would be very good for your havanese. 

My boy Bob was 10 when our spoo Sophie died, and it was really hard on him. He was much more depressed than I thought he would be. Two months later, 8-week-old Cammie arrived. She started crawling all over him and that is what he needed to pull him out of his depression. That little girl made him happy again.

I'm hoping that there will be a new poodle in your future and that he/she will make the sadness a little more bearable for all of you.


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## Caddy (Nov 23, 2014)

My heart goes out to all of you, the pain of loosing them is so great and there's nowhere you can go to get away from it. All of our pets have been terrible to loose, but our last one "Gracie" hit me very hard, I told my husband I never wanted another dog because I couldn't go through this again. He told me he needed another dog and he couldn't imagine living without that kind of love. Six months later we brought Abbey home, I wish I'd done it sooner, because she and now Dolly are as special to me as Gracie was. I sat on the floor with Abbey and told her all about Gracie, what a big heart she had and how brave she had been. That she would want Abbey to be loved and sleep on the bed where she had slept. She would have shared her toys, her home and her family.


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## zooeysmom (Jan 3, 2014)

Caddy said:


> My heart goes out to all of you, the pain of loosing them is so great and there's nowhere you can go to get away from it. All of our pets have been terrible to loose, but our last one "Gracie" hit me very hard, I told my husband I never wanted another dog because I couldn't go through this again. He told me he needed another dog and he couldn't imagine living without that kind of love. Six months later we brought Abbey home, I wish I'd done it sooner, because she and now Dolly are as special to me as Gracie was. I sat on the floor with Abbey and told her all about Gracie, what a big heart she had and how brave she had been. That she would want Abbey to be loved and sleep on the bed where she had slept. She would have shared her toys, her home and her family.


This is so beautiful, Caddy--waterworks here.


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## ericwd9 (Jun 13, 2014)

Caddy said:


> My heart goes out to all of you, the pain of loosing them is so great and there's nowhere you can go to get away from it. All of our pets have been terrible to loose, but our last one "Gracie" hit me very hard, I told my husband I never wanted another dog because I couldn't go through this again. He told me he needed another dog and he couldn't imagine living without that kind of love. Six months later we brought Abbey home, I wish I'd done it sooner, because she and now Dolly are as special to me as Gracie was. I sat on the floor with Abbey and told her all about Gracie, what a big heart she had and how brave she had been. That she would want Abbey to be loved and sleep on the bed where she had slept. She would have shared her toys, her home and her family.


Maybe your Gracie came to me? She seemed to know far too much as a puppy and is the most respectful, self respectful, careful and well mannered dog I have ever known. No counter surfing (she waits patiently at the counter with her nose just under its height for her share) No damage to anything ever in the home. Talks in a low moan and has a heart full of love for every person or dog. Loves a ball and can play catch in the house without ever even looking like knocking anything down. Her agility is amazing.

I'm hoping we can go at the same time. I don't think I will manage well without her. When she is separated from me she pines and sulks for days without eating and becomes dehydrated. I was very lucky on my last trip to hospital. She was allowed to share my room. (My wife was a senior working nurse until age 70) I guess she was respected.

To all those who read here and have lost their fur kids. I grieve for you even as I grieve for those I have lost.
Eric


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## Liz (Oct 2, 2010)

My two cents: Give your wife time. The first day is horrendous. The next week isn't any better. The deafening quiet, as you said, but also the extra room in the bed, the head missing from the car window, the lonely food bowl, the single leash hanging limply by the door. But a day becomes a week becomes a month becomes a season. Spring will come, the memories won't burn quite so brightly, and one day ... she'll be ready.

Big hug to everyone.


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## Skylar (Jul 29, 2016)

We all need time to grieve and some of us take longer. ((((HUGS))))


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## ericwd9 (Jun 13, 2014)

Last time I lost a friend, I was seen to walk each day carrying an empty leash. One morning I awoke to find an 8 week GSD puppy asleep beside my bed. That thought still brings tears to my eyes. No one admits to leaving the puppy but I have my suspicions.


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## glorybeecosta (Nov 11, 2014)

Eric that was lovely and a wonderful surprise


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## bigpoodleperson (Jul 14, 2009)

I am so very sorry for your loss!! Such a terrible heartache at only 6 years old! My boy was 9 when we lost him to horrible jaw cancer. It is so unfair! I was not ready right away for a puppy. I had actually put a deposit on a future litter before Riley died. We put Riley down in November, and brought Draco home in May. I was more than ready then, but not for a few months after he died.


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## Verve (Oct 31, 2016)

After I lost my first poodle I fostered for an all-breed rescue for a few months, until she found a forever home. It was good doggy companionship before I was ready to give my heart to another dog, and it was good for her. I took her to her new home (with some tears), then came home to an email from Dexter's breeder that the litter had been born!


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## TrixieTreasure (May 24, 2015)

Caddy said:


> My heart goes out to all of you, the pain of loosing them is so great and there's nowhere you can go to get away from it. All of our pets have been terrible to loose, but our last one "Gracie" hit me very hard, I told my husband I never wanted another dog because I couldn't go through this again. He told me he needed another dog and he couldn't imagine living without that kind of love. Six months later we brought Abbey home, I wish I'd done it sooner, because she and now Dolly are as special to me as Gracie was. I sat on the floor with Abbey and told her all about Gracie, what a big heart she had and how brave she had been. That she would want Abbey to be loved and sleep on the bed where she had slept. She would have shared her toys, her home and her family.



Caddy, thanks so much for sharing your beautiful story. ❤


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## Viking Queen (Nov 12, 2014)

I am so very sorry you and your wife have had to go through this awful event. I do think the your wife will eventually see the wisdom of welcoming another dog into her life. Each of us grieves differently.

With one of my dogs I waited a couple of years to get another, with another dog it was 9 months before I got another and yet this May, when I lost my dear Iris it was a mere 4 days and I had a wonderful new pup. I was, of course, still heartbroken, but Poppy has been a healing force.

Give your wife time. (((Hugs))) to you all. I know how hard this is. I still have days when I miss Iris terrribly. Today was one of those days.

Cathy and Poppy


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## West U (Jul 30, 2014)

We have gone through this situation more times to count during the last 30 years. We have gotten more practical, stoic, and pragmatic. The wait for the vet is especially hard my husband gets made because I always ask "now he is really gone, no more suffering." I canot 
imagine not having another dog right away. But that is just how we are wired.


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## Nora O (Sep 27, 2013)

When I had to let Hotspur go unexpectedly (he had a major seizure and was not going to get better), a friend asked if I still had his collar and if he died with it on. I did and he had. She suggested I let my other spoo smell it. She was sitting on the couch. I let her smell it, she licked it and she smelled it again and then she turned away from me and put her head on the arm of the couch. She had been looking for him all morning before I did this but she never looked for him again. But we both did a lot of grieving which is inevitable. My thoughts to you.


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