# Advice from the village: autism, anxiety and dogs



## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

I have a close friend whose daughter, now in her 30s, has always suffered from severe social anxiety and who has recently been confirmed as on the autistic spectrum. All her friends from childhood and school have moved on and moved away, and her brief attempts to leave home, start a course or take a job have all ended dismally for one reason or another, including serious health problems. She loves animals - the family has always had cats, but never a dog - even her parents didn't have dogs as children. They are very aware that the anxiety is an increasingly vicious circle, making her less and less able to interact even with people she has known for years.

I know many PF members have much experience with this sort of devastating and debilitating anxiety. Would owning a dog help? Would it simply add to the anxiety? Should it be a bouncy, happy puppy, or a needy rescue? I know she would like a dog (or thinks she would), and her parents are open to the idea if it would help her, but I don't want to make suggestions that leave her even more stressed, and them with yet more responsibility - her father is disabled, although he copes amazingly well, and they are both just settling into enjoying retirement.

Ideas? Recommendations? Books, etc??


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## Dechi (Aug 22, 2015)

I do have severe anxiety, although not as bad as you describe. Some dogs will definitely make matters worse, because of their temperaments.

In my case, a dog with anxiety itself (like Merlin) will trigger my anxiety. And I trigger his. So really not a good match and to be avoided for someone with anxiety. I think the dog needs to be confident, not easily spooked and in tune with people.

As for general temperament, I think it needs to be fit to the anxious person’s own temperament, or what they like. For example, I need calm energy, so any dog with high and even medium energy will tigger my anxiety also.

I think in the case of this young woman, since her anxiety is so severe, I would definitely let a professional assess dogs and choose for her, after having evaluated her as well. Organizations who provide service dogs are very capable of doing this. Or they might refer you to someone who might.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

That was in my mind too, Dechi - and working with a professional to identify, choose and train a dog may be helpful in itself. Many thanks for your insight.


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## Click-N-Treat (Nov 9, 2015)

Training a dog can boost self confidence, which is helpful for all of us. It depends on the right trainer and the right dog. Puppies do things that are anxiety provoking. How quickly we forget chewed shoes, chewed furniture, chewed fingers, pee on the floor, etc. If she can get a younger dog who is past that stage, and already has some sense of sit/down/stay/come, she can build on those skills. Perhaps an organization has a service dog wash out, one that doesn't have the self-confidence for service dog work, but is already trained part way would be a good choice.


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## Charlie's Person (Dec 9, 2018)

fjm said:


> I have a close friend whose daughter, now in her 30s, has always suffered from severe social anxiety and who has recently been confirmed as on the autistic spectrum. All her friends from childhood and school have moved on and moved away, and her brief attempts to leave home, start a course or take a job have all ended dismally for one reason or another, including serious health problems. She loves animals - the family has always had cats, but never a dog - even her parents didn't have dogs as children. They are very aware that the anxiety is an increasingly vicious circle, making her less and less able to interact even with people she has known for years.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I had a friend whose daughter struggled with severe Autism. The family applied to a service club near Cambridge, Ontario that specializes in dogs trained to assist persons with Autism. The difference to this family was dramatic, Liquorice the dog made an amazing improvement in the management of the young woman,S condition. Strongly recommend that a professional trainer or group be consulted.

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## Newport (Jul 16, 2014)

Dechi has given excellent advice. In particular I would advise contacting a service dog organization. The right dog would be excellent, but choosing the dog should not be left to an amateur. I have seen this work very well for a teen with autism (parent is a friend of mine, the dog is a lab). For those who might wonder what service does the dog provide: this particular dog was trained to lay on the boy for proprioceptive input which helps calm and center his owner. The dog was also trained to be very accepting of hugs which gives the teen an action to focus on rather than what upsets him. The service dog organization took time to get to know the teen and then trained a specially selected dog just for him. 

I am also the parent of a young adult with severe autism. However my son shows no interest in pets at all despite being near dogs, cats and horses at home and at various family members' homes. I was rather disappointed that there is no dog-friend in the cards for him... But you must respect what a person's interests are, and he is interested in mechanical things.


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## iwaftsd (Apr 23, 2019)

It depends on multiple factors, IMO (btw - coming at this from the perspective as an autistic individual myself):

1. Does the autistic like dogs, or know much about them? Dogs can be comforting and soothing, but I know people who get great benefit from their pet cats but would be totally lost on what to do with a dog. 

2. If she does like dogs, is she capable of caring for one? One of the difficulties many autistics face is with something called executive functioning (see here for more info: https://musingsofanaspie.com/executive-function-series/). This can make it difficult, or even nearly impossible, for the autistic to remember to feed the dog, give them water, keep up on grooming, exercise them, etc. Not only is there the question of whether she can, but also can she do so without causing more stress and making her anxiety even worse? 

3. If you're going through a rescue, it's going to have to be selected _sooo_ carefully. It'll take time and definitely a professional used to evaluating dogs. In my opinion, it's not fair to ask a dog who already struggles with anxiety of their own to help someone else in an anxious situation. Most dogs get anxious when their owners are anxious, so finding a dog who doesn't have this as much would be better. The top breed of choice would be a lab - those guys are usually really cheerful and unflappable, but if you search hard enough you can find a suitable candidate in almost any breed. I would also avoid any dogs who show protective/suspicious traits, as well, since I can see that going badly for someone with anxiety. 

4. I honestly think an adult would be better than a puppy if they can find one. You can still get the confidence boost from training an adult in various things (if they're already obedience trained, she can try their hand at dogsports, competition obedience, tricks, therapy work, etc). But with an adult you don't have to deal with all the anxiety a puppy can produce and more importantly *you know the temperament*. Some temperament testing can be done on puppies as an indicator, but at the end of the day they're still cooking and you can't guaranntee what their temperament will be like in adulthood. But on the other hand with an adult you can get an accurate evaluation so you know what you're getting. Something like two years old would be a great age, since they're mature (or at least almost there), but still pretty young. I would also worry about how things would go with the puppy's fear periods when being raised with someone with such debilitating anxiety - I'm sure it's possible, but I imagine it'd be extremely difficult (then again, puppyraising isn't my forte, so grain of salt). 

5. If the dog is anxious, it's almost certainly going to be worse for the anxious person. The person's anxiety makes the dog anxious, which makes the person more anxious, which makes the dog more anxious, and it's a nasty cycle. Also, keep in mind that some behaviors that appear to be comforting (e.g. face licking) are actually signs that the dog is anxious. Face licking is an appeasement behavior because the dog is scared and is asking you to take charge again. Of course, this is different than the dog who comes up, licks once or twice, and totally nonchalanty lays down as if to go "hey, 'sup?". Definitely having a trainer skilled in reading all the various stress signals will help determine whether the dog is being drawn into the owner's anxiety or actually just comforting the owner (e.g. my dog has dutifully plopped himself down and napped with his butt in my face the last couple of times I was crying really hard - he was loose and wiggly, no whale eyes, no panting, only a greeting lick, etc, so not stressed). 


Now a couple other things to note: 

*Transitions/change can be hard on autistics - I might recommend both to deal with that and to help determine number 1 from above that maybe the autistic woman add the dog stuff to her routine already (e.g. going on walks by herself that later she'll bring the dog on; set down an empty bowl at the time she'd normally feed her dog, etc). It can build the habits to help with the executive functioning bit and help make the change more gradual. 

*I just want to reply to Newport; I would be wary of any program that claimed either of those things are tasks (not sure if you're talking about a SD, though). The first one you described is called Deep Pressure Therapy, or DPT. It is helpful, but there are much better methods than a dog for DPT (such as a weighted vest or blanket, compression garments, etc - heck, I've found swaddling under my comforter with a thick pillow more helpful than my dog for DPT). Dogs can provide DPT in a pinch, but they aren't ideal for it because they have so many tucks and curves that distribute the weight unevenly, not to mention that they're live weight rather than dead weight. I also don't really think it'd have very much water as a SD task partly because it'd be really hard, if not impossible, to *prove* that it isn't emotional support and partly because it doesn't actually need to be trained since you could actually just pull the dog onto your body. The second one you described, while also helpful, is definitely just emotional support and not at all a task (again, if you aren't talking about SDs, disregard). 

Not saying those things aren't helpful! I'd just be cautious of any program claiming them as full tasks is all. And along the line Newport was saying, there are a LOT of things dogs can do to help with autism! Both along the lines of emotional support and actual taskwork. What your friend's daughter would need, though, would depend on her specific symptoms and would be highly individualized to her. Just keep in mind, though, that if she isn't disabled by her condition she doesn't qualify for a SD. 

I do second the idea of maybe getting a dog who washed out of SD training (especially one who might have washed out due to something that doesn't effect their nerves, like maybe one who's a bit too people or dog distracted, or one who turned out to have poor hips and couldn't be a mobility dog but would make a lovely pet, etc). A waitlist for one can be long, though.


Whatever happens, I wish your friend's daughter luck! I hope you keep us posted.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

Unfortunately there are no recognised organisations in the UK training dogs for adults with autism - and only one provides them for children. None at all training emotional support dogs, which is what she chiefly needs. But I absolutely agree that support in choosing and training the right dog is key - the answer may be to find a trainer specialising in working with service dogs who would be prepared to help. I think the greatest benefit would be helping her to deal with her anxiety.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

Thank you, iwaftsd - you have really helped focus my thinking. Yes, she has always wanted a dog, but her parents didn't think it a good idea while they were both working full time (and spending some time with my two has rather won them over to the idea of having a dog in the house, too). They mentioned that their daughter has problems remembering a sequence of tasks, so executive functioning may well be an issue. She is living at home with them, so they would be there to back her up, but there is a big difference between "my" dog and "my parents' dog", and if all the care and training ends up the parents responsibility it would inevitably look to them rather than to her. And you are right about the stress of a needy, anxious adult. The SD v emotional support issues don't really apply in the UK, as legislation is so different here. Lots to think about...

I suspect I may now be looking for a unicorn - a smallish breed healthy young adult with a rock solid temperament that is safe with cats. Just as well it is all still at the thinking stage!


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## iwaftsd (Apr 23, 2019)

It's been my experience that most programs in the U.S. training autism dogs are less than ethical anyways. If you were to look into something like that, I would be so so very cautious about any program saying they train autism dogs, _especially_ when they say they do so for children. And if they do tether-training...just run the other way. There's a LOT of other 'tasks' for autistic children that are just so, so bad but tethering is probably the most common and easily recognizable so I'll just leave it there. Edit to add - that's not to say _all_ programs training for autism are bad, but that so many are. Unfortunately, I believe it's probably the majority. I think it'd be better for autistics (in general, not for this specific person) looking for a program trained SD to find a program that trains unique tasks, or does stuff like psych work and will cross train to cover the tasks that don't overlap with psych (for example, most of my tasks are for autism but most of them overlap with mobility (to help with my sensory stuff) with some overlap with psych, guide, and medical alert). 

Sorry, I know that's not really relevant since you said it's not available anyways, but I couldn't help myself. It's something I've researched very thoroughly and the situation really upsets me in general. Apologies for the mini-rant. 

If you're looking for a SD washout, though, it can be any SD at all. Guide dog programs often have waitlists for washouts as pets, though like I said it can be a long wait. With any program, though, even though you're getting a pet I'd vet them carefully since some can be...not great. At least, that's the way it is here, though that's even within ADI programs (and I believe the UK is ADI and IGDF only, right?). The only thing would be not to take a dog who was washed out for anxiety, though I believe the good programs vet their potential adopters and will match the dogs correctly. 


It would be a bit tough to find, but I don't think impossible. Getting a young adult with the right nerves would definitely be more difficult, but I think worth it if you can find one. Getting a professional dog trainer who you trust to be skilled when it comes to selecting against anxious temperaments would be a godsend. They may even be able to help point you out to breeders who are breeding for the traits that you want (which is especially helpful if that unicorn young adult just can't be found).

Is the size absolutely necessary? If size isn't an issue (big or small) it widens the pool quite a bit. 

And yeah, I again recommend figuring out what she would need to handle to care for a dog (or a puppy) and work on seeing if she can implement as many of those things into her routine as possible to help practice the task sequencing and all. 


I'm glad I could help!


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## Skylar (Jul 29, 2016)

FJM, I hope it works for your friends and brings comfort. I don’t need a emotional support dog but I do really enjoy having my dog accompany me when running errands. 

I also wanted to comment on the great advice you got, especially from IWAFTSD/-Luna. Interesting and thoughtful information.


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## jojogal001 (Feb 19, 2019)

People have given you a lot to think about, and great advice as well. I’m only going to throw my 2 cents in as to my experience. With severe anxiety and panic attacks, the first dog I got was from a couple who advertised in the paper. He was perfect walking off leash (never got more than 5 feet away from me), he was already housebroken (at 18 months of age), asking to go out when he needed. He was also very calm and loving. When I was having a panic attack he would just lay down by my feet and stay there quietly. If I got up he went with me, but never asked for anything.

I found all of this very calming. I didn’t want him in my lap during one, but as it was getting better he’d come up and just petting him and petting him it calmed me so much.

I did have help in finding him though. A trainer I worked with would visit the dogs I was interested in and made her assessment. I was so excited when she called and said she had approved one for me!

I dont have autism but struggle with routines and everyday tasks. Remembering to do them. I’ve been lucky. I’ve always had at least one dog in the house who reminded me when it was time to eat. I since have moved forward to 2 dogs and soon to 3. 

I can’t offer anything but what I’ve said... just my own experience. My anxiety is much less now. Maybe after decades of knowing my companion is there to be calm and comfort me has changed my anxiety level. Now I just grab on to a dog and hold on.


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## Charlie's Person (Dec 9, 2018)

jojogal001 said:


> People have given you a lot to think about, and great advice as well. I’m only going to throw my 2 cents in as to my experience. With severe anxiety and panic attacks, the first dog I got was from a couple who advertised in the paper. He was perfect walking off leash (never got more than 5 feet away from me), he was already housebroken (at 18 months of age), asking to go out when he needed. He was also very calm and loving. When I was having a panic attack he would just lay down by my feet and stay there quietly. If I got up he went with me, but never asked for anything.
> 
> I found all of this very calming. I didn’t want him in my lap during one, but as it was getting better he’d come up and just petting him and petting him it calmed me so much.
> 
> ...


Thank you so much for sharing your story about coping with anxiety with the help of your dog. My Charlie arrived in my life quite by accident, and I credit him with pulling me out of a severe depression after a traumatic event. . Dogs are Wonderful!! A good friend's daughter has severe autism and the family has no idea how they would cope without Liquorice the Labrador. Sending you kindest thoughts, Linda 

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