# Advice needed, very worried



## fjm

What does your vet say? There are so many things it could be, and some would need tests to confirm the diagnosis. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way - hope things are better soon.


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## Pup's mom

Thank you so much for your quick response!
We are calling the vet to see if she will come here. There is no way I can make him walk the 4 long blocks and then if she is busy with other animals.. he is just lying on the floor .. he won't lift his head.
He is not bloated. He is just lying there breaking my heart ..


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## bigpoodleperson

Wow, he needs to be seen NOW!!! It could be anything from heart disease, kidney disease to a splenic tumor. Serious issues!!! Carry him in a tote bag if needed. PLEASE dont wait and get him there soon!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## cavon

do you have a wagon or cart that you could coax him into so that you could take him to the vet? It sounds very serious.

keeping good thoughts for you and your boy!


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## Pup's mom

He rallied enough to eat fresh chicken from my hand and drink some water, we then coaxed him out to walk him.
He quickly lost energy, we came home and called the vet.
We are waiting for her to arrive now.
Thankfully, being in a city where most people do not have cars, the vets regularly make house calls. And Pup weighs over 50 lbs.. carrying him in a tote wouldn't work  Thank you for your replies and concern.
I will let you know what the vet says.


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## Pup's mom

Pup just the other day


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## fjm

I am so glad your vet is on her way - far better to be safe than sorry. Hoping for good news.


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## Pup's mom

You know what is the hardest thing about this ? I feel the overwhelming need to sob .. that feeling that someone is going to take something from you that you don't think you can live without.

The vet said that he is in pain, she gave him an analgesic shot, said he can eat, drink, go for a walk later when he feels up to it.
She took blood and said by tomorrow afternoon they will have the results back.
This was not our vet but a "paramedic" from the animal hospital. Since people don't drive and taxis are not thrilled with large dogs that look sick, vets come to you.
Because our spanish is not that great in the medical catagory- she typed to us everything in Google Translate and we were able to understand exactly what she was talking about. Thank god for Google 

Pup is resting comfortably, on his bed, with his "blankee" under his head for a pillow, glad no one else is poking or prodding him.

I will let you know what happens tomorrow.
I can't thank you enough for being here for me, so far from "home" and at times like this, feeling very friendless.. 
the people here are dear and sweet and kind but when it comes to something like this .. I turn to the people I figure 1 - can understand what I am saying 2- understand the bond between poodle and poodle mom/dad.

love you! C


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## cavon

here's hoping he has a quiet night and feels a bit perkier in the morning. We'll keep sending out the good thoughts to your little boy.


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## Ruth

Sending you and Pup tons of hugs and good wishes, I hope you get the results soon!

If you need any help with Spanish, do feel free to let me know! It's my mother tongue, so if there's anything I could do I'd be glad to help.


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## pudlemom

Oh poor Pup and you I know how hard it is when your beloved pet is on feeling well.
My gang and I will keep you in our prayers tonight and it's ok to sob I know there are a lot of us here that will sob right along with you and rejoice when Pup is feeling better.

Take care big poodle ((((hugs))) for you and Pup


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## fjm

Sending hugs for you, and hopes for a restful night and better in the morning for Pup.


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## Chagall's mom

*Pup's mom:* I can heard your sadness and concern and I can well understand it. I truly believe in the power of Poodle Forum so just know I too am wishing and hoping your dear Pup will feel better and be better soon. It is of course unthinkable for things to go any other way. He looks like a darling boy and I can well imagine the joy and companionship he brings you. You are so good to return his devotion and care as you are, I know you will stand by him. And he will stay with you as long as he possibly can. It's okay to cry, and wipe your tears away on his soft, fluffy hair. Then try to collect yourself and stay strong for him so he isn't worried about you, or sensing any fear. Poodles are so very good at responding to the energy around them. You keep celebrating every moment he's there with you, I wish you years and years more of them. I'll check back to learn what Pup's blood work reveals. My heart follows you both.


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## Pup's mom

*Thank you so much*

Thank you so much. 
Good news: He ate some dinner and took a walk. He might need to go out later because he is not doing everything on his walks and I think he must be full by now 
The vet called and gave me every phone number of every person that I might need between now and tomorrow morning when she is in. She is a good vet and very caring.. so we feel confident in her care.
You know how it is, we can't speak Poodle and they don't really speak Human that well so I look at those sad eyes and feel so badly about not knowing what to do for him.
And there is that horrible threatened feeling that you get when you fear you might lose a loved one.
He sat in the grass in the park and watched us sitting on a bench watching him 
He is now curled up in his bed in the living room, we will watch television together and I might sing him a song if he needs it.
( He seems to like it when I sing to him and it helps me ) .. of course You understand.. anyone else I am sure would consider sending the little men in white coats after me ~
So thank you again, we will pray for an easy night, with Pup waking up full of his old energy and silliness.

Muchas gracias por su amabilidad ~


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## Chagall's mom

I am so heartened to hear Pup enjoyed some outdoor time and is now snuggled up safely and comfortably in his bed. This is just what I was hoping to hear! I look forward to hearing more good news tomorrow. Sweet dreams!


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

To me, this sounds like heart with the coughing. Did they hear any murmurs or odd heart sounds when they listened to his chest?

I hope you all get through the night. Will be praying for Pup to rally and for all to be well. Thinking of you!!


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## Trillium

Oh goodness oh terrifying! When things like that happen sobbing is absolutely okay. I'm glad he is doing better. Keep us posted on how things are going:grouphug:


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## Pup's mom

I have definitely done some sobbing today.
He is resting, we will snuggle in and hope for nothing but good news tomorrow.
His heart sounded fine to the vet today.
Will let you know asap tomorrow when the results come in.
besos !


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## Ruth

More hugs for Pup and you!

The cough could also be due to an upset stomach or reflux. But let's hope to hear from your vet and see what they say!


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## bigpoodleperson

Whoops, I for some reason thought he was a little guy.  Im glad he is feeling better. I hope all the results come in and are good tomorrow. What would you do with him if the next step was x-rays? HUGS!!!


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## Pup's mom

_The cough could also be due to an upset stomach or reflux_
Thank you Ruth !


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## Pup's mom

The vet just called a few minutes ago to ask how he was doing.
I said he didn't look like he felt very good. She asked if he had "sad eyes"... I said yes, he does. ( and so do I)
She said she will see us tomorrow and lots of kisses.

He has perked up since then .. he was very interested in a bit of chicken I gave him and he is sitting up instead of just lying there.

I will write back tomorrow and let you all know what happens after the visits and test results.
Thanks so very much for the comfort and advice and for Being there 
C


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## Ruth

So glad to hear your vet is calling to check on him! And of course that he's interested in food! That's always good!

Is he still drinking a lot of water?


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## fjm

Sounds as if you have an excellent, caring vet. Hoping for better news today.


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## Pup's mom

Hello ladies ! 
Just a note to tell you that Pup slept all night in the same spot ( beside my side of the bed ) and in the am, I covered him with his blankee because it was a bit chilly. He slept late then wandered down the hall, blanket still draped across him. Giving us all a laugh this am.
He went on his morning walk with my husband, who upon returning said that Everything Was Perfectly Normal.
He then finished off his breakfast and drank plenty of water.
He is now watching the morning news with my husband.
We will go to the vet in a while but whatever she says, I am so very cheered by seeing my boy acting "normal" today.
Thank you again for your support and I will definitely post back with whatever the doctor had to say.
muchas besos..


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## Bella's Momma

Does the vet have any idea what's wrong, yet? 

Poor Pup. And Poor Pup's family. I hope he gets better quickly.


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

Pup's mom said:


> Hello ladies !
> Just a note to tell you that Pup slept all night in the same spot ( beside my side of the bed ) and in the am, I covered him with his blankee because it was a bit chilly. He slept late then wandered down the hall, blanket still draped across him. Giving us all a laugh this am.
> He went on his morning walk with my husband, who upon returning said that Everything Was Perfectly Normal.
> He then finished off his breakfast and drank plenty of water.
> He is now watching the morning news with my husband.
> We will go to the vet in a while but whatever she says, I am so very cheered by seeing my boy acting "normal" today.
> Thank you again for your support and I will definitely post back with whatever the doctor had to say.
> muchas besos..


Well, that definately sounds promising! So happy for you! Please let us know what the vet has to say today...


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## Chagall's mom

Pup's mom said:


> Hello ladies !
> Just a note to tell you that Pup slept all night in the same spot ( beside my side of the bed ) and in the am, I covered him with his blankee because it was a bit chilly. He slept late then wandered down the hall, blanket still draped across him. Giving us all a laugh this am.
> He went on his morning walk with my husband, who upon returning said that Everything Was Perfectly Normal.
> He then finished off his breakfast and drank plenty of water.
> He is now watching the morning news with my husband.
> We will go to the vet in a while but whatever she says, I am so very cheered by seeing my boy acting "normal" today.
> Thank you again for your support and I will definitely post back with whatever the doctor had to say.
> muchas besos..


I hope with all my heart a day which got off to such a good start brings only more good news. So glad Pup awoke feeling better. I can't wait to hear what the vet has to say today. Thinking of you with high hopes and well wishes!


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## Pup's mom

We see her at 3 when the test results come in.
She mentioned colic ... we will see. Right now I am just so happy that he is acting and looking absolutely normal !!


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## cavon

oh, how good that he woke up feeling better! I agree with everyone else that it sure seems like you have a very caring vet. that is a big help in these situations. 

Know that we are all thinking of you and Pup and please update us as soon as you hear from the vet!


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## Trillium

So glad he is doing better. I hope that its all good news. Keep us posted.


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## fjm

So very glad he is feeling better - hope the vet says it was just a blip!


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## Ruth

I'm so glad to hear he seems better today too! Also hoping the vet says it was something minor.


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## Pup's mom

The vet called to say that there are no results in yet... she asked a million questions about his behavior , his looks, his eyes, his energy etc... yesterday we agreed that he had "sad eyes" .. today he is bright eyed and has energy and is smiling .. you know that smile 
So she told us not to worry, we will talk tomorrow, that she is very happy to hear how well he is doing.
His stomach was a bit iffy when he was walked, which could be from that bloated belly he had last night .. maybe it was something he ate?
He is watched like a hawk in the parks, that he never picks up food or anything.. but then you never know.. they can be so sneaky :- )
So this afternoon the 3 of us went to the park and sat along a low wall, like 3 old fogies.. husband, me and Pup at the end. He finally lolled around in the grass and managed to get up and smile for quite a few people who wanted his photo. ( _have I told you that they don't have Standards down here? only small poodles... he creates quite a stir wherever we go.. my husband says sometimes it is like walking a giraffe or something lol_)
He got a new toy today and he is lying next to it, keeping an eye on it, making sure it doesn't try any funny stuff. He will be asleep in another minute, all that fresh air and guarding the toy can be so tiring ..

I will post tomorrow as soon as I get the results.
Thank you ! love you !


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## pudlemom

Oh so glad to hear Pup is feeing better and you can rest a little easier tonight.


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## Chagall's mom

What good news to share, yet again! Yay! Keep it coming!!!


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## Pup's mom

*Good news!!*
The vet just called to tell us that Pup has an infection and is anemic.
He starts the antibiotics tomorrow and she will put him on a vitamin.
We are so so very relieved. Even the vet was laughing and saying how
glad she was ... he was glad when I told him, although he seemed more interested in that new stuffed toy I bought him today.
Thank you all again for your kind words and support.. I am so thankful that you were here when I needed you 
un grande beso, C


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## Bella's Momma

Oh wonderful news! I'm so glad he's got something that is quickly remedied.


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## Chagall's mom

Whew! I am _so happy_ to hear the good news!!! _You made my day_!! A happy ending is just what the doctor (_vet?_) ordered and it appears you have it! If the vet thinks it's all right, you may want to give Pup some yogurt while he's on the antibiotics to help his system feel and function more comfortably. I'm positively delighted for you, him and your husband. Be sure to post pictures of Pup having a good time when you can. Kiss him for me, and give him a great big hug, too!


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## Trillium

Great news!! I'm so happy for you!!!


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## Pup's mom

Thank you !!
Here he is today. More chipper but soon to be perfectly well again <3


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## Chagall's mom

It's so nice to see Pup up and smiling!! And look at that good-natured boy of yours, with his boo-boo bandage from the blood draws and IV's! Such a sweet, brave boy; he wears it like a badge of honor. You know, it's been a real honor to witness the devotion and care you show him. I'm happy to my core that you have one another!! Long may it be so!


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## Ruth

Aww, I'm so glad!! And he's looking great too!! 
And yeah, Standards are pretty uncommon in Mexico and other parts of latin America. Just curious, where are you?

Besos y abrazos!


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## bigpoodleperson

Im glad he is feeling better! I would just really keep an eye on him. Poodles are known for autoimmune diseases, and anemia is one of those symptoms. I havnt really seen too many infections in dogs where anemia was present also. I do hope he makes a full recovery!!


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## spoospirit

_This must have been a pretty scary time for you and your family. I am glad it is nearly over and the news is good. Pup looks quite happy to be feeling better! 
_


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## Pup's mom

Thank you so much !
We are in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
He has always been healthy, just the occasional skin thing, the cysts.. but even those have not been a real problem.
At almost 12 years of age, I think he is in good shape. 
Tomorrow we will see the vet in the morning and get him started on his meds. Then he will be his silly self again. 
Is there anything more lovable than a poodle ?


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## NOLA Standards

So happy for you all that he is feeling much better!

They are so special to us.

Tabatha


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## fjm

I am so glad he is on the mend - keep us posted!


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## cavon

it's sooooo great to see Pup smiling again!!! what a relief for you!! and us too!!!


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## Pup's mom

We picked up his medicines and started him on them right away. 
He is still low energy but eating sort of normally and much more alert than before.
I am hoping after a day or two, he will be his old self.
We see the Vet Monday .. She will also put him on vitamins at that time, I think.
So far, so good  Thanks for all the sweet comments and good wishes !!


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## Pup's mom

*He is FINE !!*

*Pup is FINE !!!*
All of the labwork came back .. he is OK.. he has an infection, antibiotics will take care of that .. he has that Thing on his leg- it is just a cyst full of water stuff and it became "granular" .. It can go away, they will do nothing about it at this time .. ugly but not a bad thing so we will see if nature will take its course. Plus with the antibiotics, that might help too.
The vet acted as happy as I did .. it was so sweet and so wonderful.
I have been so stressed and worried .. now we can enjoy the weekend .. 
Sending happy wishes for you all to have a great weekend ... with your loved ones and pups too 
And sending heartfelt thanks for all the encouragement and hand-holding and advice and just being there .. you are great !

muchas besos, :kiss:


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## pudlemom

Oh thank goodness what great new indeed! Take deep breath relax and have a great weekend and enjoy that big cuddly Pup of yours ♥


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## Ruth

So happy to hear that!!! Hope you and Pup have a wonderful weekend!


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## Chagall's mom

I am so very, very happy for you, for Pup, for all of us!! See the power of the forum?! _It really works!!_ Keep us posted on all his fun adventures. Good health and good times to him and you!


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## fjm

So pleased for you and Pup - give him a hug from us, and have a good weekend!


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## Pup's mom

*Thank you thank you thank you !!*

I am telling you ... I enjoy the forums, and learn from them and enjoy the photos but never thought that as a newbie, I would end up posting something like this episode with Pup and have such comfort from it !
I mean, really, who do you go to when you need advice or to hear the right things about your Poodle ? Your "other child" ? 

I think he needs fattening up. I was thinking that adding a drop of canned food to his kibble might work ? or baby food ? I had a little cat that had diabetes and he would eat his baby food when I gave him his insulin shot .. he fattened up nicely. I just think Pup's hip bones and legs feel a bit too boney and winter is coming .. I am buying him a new polar tech blanket for his bed for the winter. 
Any ideas of fattening up an 11 year old Standard boy ?


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

Pup's mom said:


> I am telling you ... I enjoy the forums, and learn from them and enjoy the photos but never thought that as a newbie, I would end up posting something like this episode with Pup and have such comfort from it !
> I mean, really, who do you go to when you need advice or to hear the right things about your Poodle ? Your "other child" ?
> 
> I think he needs fattening up. I was thinking that adding a drop of canned food to his kibble might work ? or baby food ? I had a little cat that had diabetes and he would eat his baby food when I gave him his insulin shot .. he fattened up nicely. I just think Pup's hip bones and legs feel a bit too boney and winter is coming .. I am buying him a new polar tech blanket for his bed for the winter.
> Any ideas of fattening up an 11 year old Standard boy ?


We have a thirteen year old intact boy who gets VERY thin when the girls are in heat because he will eat NOTHING for two weeks. When it is over, we put canned food in his kibble, cheese, cooked veggies...anything to make his meals delectable so he eats every morsel. 

I am so happy for you! Glad to hear the happy news. I hope you just wallow in all of it and throughly enjoy your weekend!


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## Pup's mom

Oh bless his heart, he gets thin with wanting the girls ? 
Thank you, I am going to pick up a can of food and maybe throw some rice in with it . The cheese here is pretty bad, it will give him the runs.
He just needs to fatten up a little so it shouldn't be hard. 
At the moment, he is practicing being a rug


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## Ruth

What kinds of cheese do you have there?

I usually give my dogs a bit of "queso panela" (or "canasta"), or even "oaxaca" or "fresco" but I guess the last ones are Mexican only kind. I don't know which kinds you have in Argentina.
Mind you, I don't give them lots of cheese, only small pieces now and then to avoid loose stools or something. But so far I haven't had any problem with those.


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## fracturedcircle

so happy that Pup is doing better! 

P.S. I love his pics.


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## Pup's mom

I can probably find him something imported.( wonder if he likes brie or cheddar..lol)
Local cheese is awful .. we buy imported for ourselves. I gave him some local a couple of times and he had diarrhea both times. 
They do a lot of things well here but bread and cheese are not those things 

Thank you ! I love showing him off too, this boy has a gazillion photos of himself !


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## CT Girl

I am so relieved that he is feeling better. How nerve wracking to be in a foreign country and unsure of the medical lingo and have a sick dog. He is a beautiful dog and I look forward to seeing some of those gazillion photos. Your vet sounds excellent.


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## Pup's mom

Thank you CT Girl !
We stopped by the vet today to pick up a can of dog food, I am going to fatten my boy up a bit. 
She came out , harried and harrassed, the waiting room full of pups, cats and people, and with a broken blood vessel in her eye making her look so pitiful... and she went straight to Pup and gave him kisses and some Love Talk.
He never pulls away or gets weird when we go towards her shop .. (the way he does when he sees we are near the groomers) .. she is absolutely a treasure, especially for us ... she is learning English and works very hard to be sure we know what she is saying. 

There is a large crate in the waiting room, where her reception desk is .. full of baskets and food and water and a small box .. with a small yellow cat .. Someone found this box, it had been sitting somewhere for 5 days .. they opened it and found this poor starving pitiful cat inside. They knew exactly what to do .. they brought it to the vet. Who is patiently and slowly re-introducing the poor thing back into the world .. 
I think I would like to be some sort of Super Avenger that my children used to read about .. the one that goes around Zapping people who are cruel to animals .. 

I am glad you like the photos.. more later, he had a few (hundred) taken today in the park lol. Besos !


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## whitepoodles

I would take him ASAP to the vet, do a total blood work SMAC, WBC, Urynalisis, kidney and liver functions and send it stat to the lab.

Also please check for ADDISON's disease.

Most vets in such situation would start a course of Prednisone as a preventative and boost for the dog.

Do you remember what he has eaten/done the day previous to his becoming so gravely ill ?

Wishing you much luck and all the best. Keep us posted.

Ooops, sorry I see your dog is feeling better. What a relief. Good luck. Hope he keeps it up.


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## Pup's mom

My beautiful boy ..


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## whitepoodles

Pup's mom said:


> My beautiful boy ..


He is trully beautiful Pup's mom and I feel for you, I know how you must have felt and the panic and agony you have gone throught. When you love a dog our world comes apart when they get sick knowing that unlike us humans they have such a short span of life with us on this earth.

My baby girl died at 16 years old and I still miss her so to date. She is resting in a beautiful urn on our fireplace mantle and will be going with me when I am gone over the rainbow bridge


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## Pup's mom

*an update*

Pup has been well and his old self until yesterday when we went for a walk. Perhaps too long a walk. Coming home we walked up a staircase, which I should have not done. He stumbled and coughed and fell. His hind legs gave out .. he got right up but has been wobbly and restless etc since then. 
He and I were up all night, at least we were together ..
The vet will be here in about half an hour.. my fear is it was a heart attack, my hope is that if it was, there is medicine he can take. No more stairs !
He will be getting an echocardiogram.
Think good thoughts and send them South !


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## Bella's Momma

Oh dear, Poor Pup. I hope it turns out to be something not serious.


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## schpeckie

Sorry, but I just saw this thread and it breaks my heart when I hear of an animal being sick. I am sure glad to be part of this Poodle Power forum and all the hugs and licks, that Pup is hopefully on the road to recovery soon. We worry so much about our 'furry kids', that nothing else matters until they feel well. Sending some hugs from the girls!


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## CT Girl

I hope he just got overheated. Let us know what the vet says.


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## Ruth

Sending hugs and good thoughts!! Let us know what the vet says!


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## Pup's mom

Thank you so much. I have spent a lot of time crying today and now you make me want to weep with how sweet you are.
The vet came to the rescue with shots to make him stop hurting, he will have an echocardiogram and she said there are medications if there is a heart problem.
He took a short walk with us a while ago, after sleeping off some of his shot .. he is looking perkier but still wobbly.
I am not looking so perky but my hopes are high 
Thank you thank you thank you !


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## Ruth

I'm so glad to hear the vet came to help, hope he feels better! Please keep us updated.

More hugs for you!


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## Chagall's mom

I'm so sorry to hear Pup had another worrisome episode! Your vet sounds very caring and responsive. I hope her good care and your wonderful devotion to Pup will result in him being completely well very soon. Thank goodness he's more comfortable now! I hope you'll soon feel that way yourself. I'll look for more updates from you. Take good care of yourself, I know you'll certainly do likewise for Pup. I'll be thinking of you and your dear poodle.


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## Pup's mom

Hello, 
Thank you for your sweet words.. I have been one of those weepy mess types that you would be glad not to run into in the park .. We went to the vet today, Pup will have an echocardiogram Mon morning. He will see a cardiologist afterwards. At our vets. She gave us meds for him , an analgesic and vitamins.
He has slept much of the day. He starts panting and I worry that it is pain and I sit and feel helpless and frightened for him and try not to cry. 
The vet called this evening and asked about him, and then asked if she could come over tomorrow and see him. She might give him a different medicine.
I am happy that she is coming, let someone see him every day if it fixes this !
He ate all of his dinner and walked to the park and back ( 2 blocks each way) and is now lying across the doorway so there is no way I can sneak out without his knowing .. clever pup.
I have high hopes for Monday to bring us answers and the right medicines to keep him comfortable and with us for a while longer.
Thank you so much for being so kind .. you are earning all sorts of good marks somewhere :angel2:


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## CharismaticMillie

Poor Pup. I am so sorry to hear this. I too would be concerned about a heart issue since you mention the coughing and collapsing. He is a very handsome boy and I am truly a sucker for the browns. Hearing about this breaks my heart. He is in Millie and my thoughts and prayers. I hope it is something minor. Please keep us updated!


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

I had thought heart last time. Thinker had a horrid heart and coughed a lot. There is a medication they can be put on, but their kidneys must be monitored through blood work because they can be affected. Good luck. I just saw this now or I would have prayed for him sooner. But tonight he will be in my prayers.


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## Ruth

My heart is breaking every time I hear about his health issues, I do hope they find the right treatment and he feels better.
Keeping you and Pup in my thoughts!! Sending many many hugs too!

Cherie, can I ask what medicine is the one you're referring to?


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

Ruth said:


> My heart is breaking every time I hear about his health issues, I do hope they find the right treatment and he feels better.
> Keeping you and Pup in my thoughts!! Sending many many hugs too!
> 
> Cherie, can I ask what medicine is the one you're referring to?


Good question. I can find out for you if you'd like. I know it is very inexpensive and works to clear fluid out of the lungs. A heart cough is a sign of congestive heart failure, and when that happens, fluid gets into the lungs and does not clear readily. This medication clears the lungs but overworks the kidneys, so they have to monitor them with regular blood work. Honestly, when they were trying to sell me on it for Thinker, I turned my ears off. My opinion was, we KNEW what we were dealing with with the heart issue. I was terrified we would create a whole new set of problems and never considered it. But, he was two years older than Pup.


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## Chagall's mom

You are more than entitled to your tears,_ and_ your hope! Pup eating and walking back and forth to the park at your side, this is the joy of being a dog. They are such wise creatures, living as they do in the moment, without fear of the future, savoring each scent, each meal, each activity for all it's worth. I hope it helps in some way for you to know how very much we're all hoping for the best for Pup. It's good to hear there's an array of helpful medications, hopefully any side effects can be safely managed. When Monday comes and you know more, whatever the path ahead may be, in our hearts many of us will walk it with you. I hope Pup has a easy time of it today!


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## Pup's mom

Sunday: 
The vet called last night and asked some questions and asked if she could come see him today.
He took one pain pill ( instead of 1 & 1/2) and slept like a baby by my side of the bed all night long. He is wandering around the house like the Ghost of Christmas Past with his white blanket draped over him 
I will let you know what they say tomorrow .. the vet has never mentioned anything about the lungs/heart but maybe she was waiting for the experts to take a look first.
He doesn't cough all the time, only now and then.
His belly doesn't seem to be as pronounced today .. 
He is still interested in eating .. and if you say the right word ( cookie) his eyes light up so I am keeping my hopes up with those thoughts and that there is medicine and there are poodles older than he is !
Thank you all so very much. I will tell you later , how the day turns out.
muchas besos ..


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

Awwww...there is nothing like the soul of an old dog. He is so sweet! Hoping the day goes well for you all!


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## Dallasminis

Saying a prayer for pup and his wonderful and caring family...


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## Ruth

Pup looks lovely on his bed! :love2:


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## Pup's mom

Today has been a good day 
Pup ate his breakfast, took his medicine and was his usual lazy morning self. . after a night that was good, mostly sleep and mostly in one position.
I woke up several times and checked on him ( next to my side of the bed) and he was in a deep sleep ( drugs, lovely drugs lol)

Today we talked to the vet twice, she called this morning to hear how he was, this afternoon I had to call her and tell her how great he was.
He walked to the park, stopping and sniffing every single spot along the way, when in the park he went trotting off and exploring and being silly, walking home with a smile .. 
When we got home, I gave him a cookie or two then we came in here where I am online and he is on the bed (shhh.. he can go anywhere he wants in this house) and he is napping and just watching me.
I took a few photos of him and sent them to the vet 

Tomorrow at 11, the cardiologist. I will post tomorrow sometime with the news.
much love and thanks to you all.


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## CT Girl

Today is the day you will finally find out what is going on. I hope you get good news at the cardiologist. Good luck.


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## Ruth

I'm so glad Pup has been having a good day and napping comfortably in your bed, lol. 

What CT girl said, hoping for good news! Hugs!


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## fjm

Hoping for good news here, too, but whatever happens I know you will do your very best for him, as you have always done.


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## Pup's mom

*The News could have been better*

Pup has a large mass on his spleen. There are a few dark spots where it might be bleeding. So surgery is recommended, as soon as possible.
Otherwise, he is in great shape . Me, not so good.
If you have any experience with an almost 12 year old Standard having a spleenectomy, do post something here for me ? please ? I need reassurance since there is a big difference in being home with English speakers and trusting strangers who speak another language.
Thank you again for being there .. C


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## CharismaticMillie

I am so, so sorry to hear this. Poor pup. This makes me tear up because I remember when Tony was 11 and we found out he had a tumor on his lung. I empathize with how you feel. 

I don't know anything about slenic masses or splenectomy. I did a google search though and I found some helpful links:

ACVS - Splenic Masses in Dogs

Splenic Masses

Canine Hemangiosarcoma

Do they know if the tumor is malignant?


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## Pup's mom

Thank you.
It was found during the sonogram .. there is no way of telling if it is benign or not. We have to make the decision fast since it is not small and it is really made already, how can we not have the surgery?
I hope someone who has had this experience can tell me a bit of what to expect or what it is like .. since we will be bringing him home as fast as possible.. I don't want him left in a hospital for long, that will drive him crazy .. 
I googled but it is more comforting and helpful at this point if someone has actually been through this . Thanks !


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## Pup's mom

Spoke to the vet, tomorrow we go for his Radiology analysis .. they will do the surgery soon, I guess .. I hope.
There is hope that he can come home the same day.
Or at last only one night in the hospital .. for a pup who has not been away from his family for years, this will be traumatic .. not to mention how the family feels !


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## fjm

Hugs for both you and pup - hoping all goes well and he makes a rapid recovery. I am sure he will cope with a night away better than you will - he will be well dosed with pain killers, etc, and rather groggy from the anaesthetic, and will probably simply doze the hours away.


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## Pup's mom

*Update on Pup*

Well, we have had a few anxiety ridden days ! But today, Pup had his radiology done and the result was No Metastasis .. which made the vet hug me.
He has a mass on his spleen and must have surgery to remove the spleen.
He has to have his blood work done again, but the sonograms and echocardiogram and todays xrays are finished.
He has a slight mitral valve something but it is all about that mass on his spleen. The good news is that if they do the surgery in the morning, we can bring him home that night. I have an emergency vet who speaks English who lives nearby and we will arrange with him to be on call for us... if anything should come up in the night.
But Pup is a good patient.. he stays in bed, he lets me wait on him and listens.
He is actually much better than most husbands, I would guess .. hee hee.
So that is the news.
Not as horrible as it started out, when each day someone would mention something that was horrifying and then the tests sounded awful and I have cried and grieved and felt so helpless.
The best is that the vet loves him too and there is genuine concern all around.
So that is the story.
I truly hope that I can come back here in a few weeks and show photos of Pup all healed and healthy again and we can all breathe a sigh of relief together.
Muchas besos to all of you. You are definitely some of the nicest people I have met online :angel2:


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## Ruth

Thank you for updating! I had been thinking about you and Pup *hugs*

Your vet sounds so caring and wonderful, which is very very good!
Hoping for the best and sending tons of hugs!!


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## CT Girl

I am so glad to hear that there is no Metastasis. It sounds like you have a great vet and I am sure you will be waiting on Pup hand and foot. I hope he has a speedy recovery. Try not to worry too much.


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

Oh no!! I am sorry! Your family along with Pup will be in my thoughts and prayers!


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## Siskojan

Sending much poodle love and get well wishes to Pup and his wonderful caring family


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## Chagall's mom

You give Pup the most _extraordinary_ care! I know he must be a very special boy. I hope with all my heart his surgery goes perfectly and his recovery is speedy and complete. You are amazingly resourceful to find him such wonderful and compassionate veterinary care--_and so fast!_ No one could do better for him than you have. I will be waiting along with his other PF friends to hear he's home and doing well. I wish you strength and the comfort of knowing we're "in the fight" with you. Lots of good thoughts going out to you and your brave boy.


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## Pup's mom

Tomorrow morning at 10 (our time) Pup will have surgery to remove his spleen. 
All prayers and good wishes are welcome.
I will be back to let you know how things went.
Again, thank you all so much.


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## Trillium

Oh my goodness!! I'll be praying for his surgery to go well and a swift recovery and for you as you go through all this.


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

Prayers definately being said for Pup to get through the surgery well and for a speedy recovery! My thoughts will be with you all until this ordeal is over.


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## Hey_j

Oh my---I am so sorry for all you're going through Pup's Mom, and of course for your poor Pup! 
It's so hard to watch them suffer and then be so unsure of how things will be!

I'm praying for you all, too!!!

janice (new to SPOO ownership)


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## Ruth

Prayers, good wishes and good thoughts from me and my four-legged gang to you and Pup!

Be strong, both of you. Sending many many many many hugs!!


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## McKay

Pup's mom said:


> Thank you !!
> Here he is today. More chipper but soon to be perfectly well again <3


I am just catching up with this story. How scary! I hope he feels better soon. He really is a lovely color!


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## Chagall's mom

We're still all here hoping, wishing and praying for Pup. Sending unlimited good wishes for all to be well for your beloved poodle. I'm sure Pup's being very brave and good--just like his mom!! Look forward to your next GOOD news report.


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## fjm

All good wishes for a safe, successful op and rapid recovery.


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## Pup's mom

*It worked !*

All the good wishes and prayers and some help from some wonderful vets down here, worked. Pup had his surgery this morning, it was a little less time than they thought which is great, his spleen had not one mass but two and they got rid of everything, spleen included. They checked his liver and looked around to be sure there was nothing else lurking in there, then closed him back up.
He looks like he needs a big zipper on his belly .. where all those stitches are.
I was holding him and quietly talking to him, you know, mama love talk and he just slid into sleep .. when he was out of surgery, they had him wrapped in blankets and I held him and whispered the good news in his ears and he just opened his eyes and stared at me.
The vet said a lot of times, dogs are upset and scared and when they wake up from the anesthesia, they are screaming, howling, frantic .. but Pup woke up the way he went to sleep, listening to me telling him how much I love him.
The vets were great, a lot of love of animals in that place ! 
We stayed for a while to be sure he was in good shape, then they called our taxi for us.. a sweet young guy who made sure he parked as close as possible to the curb so we could lift him out of the car easily.
Poor Pup, like walking a drunk into the building, wobbly, staggering and collapsing onto his bed and sleeping it off all day.
He has a ton of pills to take, the vet here has called and will come visit tomorrow and Monday we go to a closer hospital to see one of the surgeons for another check up.
He ate a little tonight and tomorrow I hope his appetite will be good.. 

My computer crashed and hopefully Mon that will be fixed, really hoping so as I have hundreds of photos .. (mostly of the pup lol)

so thank you again, I will keep popping in, Pup and I have a lot to tell people about how Poodles are really people in dog suits.
besos !


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## Ruth

I'm so very glad he came out fine from surgery and they removed everything!! Yes!! :love2: :love2:

I feel so relieved, I've been checking in case you had updated and just saw you posting this. 

Thank you so much for updating, send our hugs and good wishes to Pup! Get better soon, boy! :love2:


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

Pup's mom said:


> All the good wishes and prayers and some help from some wonderful vets down here, worked. Pup had his surgery this morning, it was a little less time than they thought which is great, his spleen had not one mass but two and they got rid of everything, spleen included. They checked his liver and looked around to be sure there was nothing else lurking in there, then closed him back up.
> He looks like he needs a big zipper on his belly .. where all those stitches are.
> I was holding him and quietly talking to him, you know, mama love talk and he just slid into sleep .. when he was out of surgery, they had him wrapped in blankets and I held him and whispered the good news in his ears and he just opened his eyes and stared at me.
> The vet said a lot of times, dogs are upset and scared and when they wake up from the anesthesia, they are screaming, howling, frantic .. but Pup woke up the way he went to sleep, listening to me telling him how much I love him.
> The vets were great, a lot of love of animals in that place !
> We stayed for a while to be sure he was in good shape, then they called our taxi for us.. a sweet young guy who made sure he parked as close as possible to the curb so we could lift him out of the car easily.
> Poor Pup, like walking a drunk into the building, wobbly, staggering and collapsing onto his bed and sleeping it off all day.
> He has a ton of pills to take, the vet here has called and will come visit tomorrow and Monday we go to a closer hospital to see one of the surgeons for another check up.
> He ate a little tonight and tomorrow I hope his appetite will be good..
> 
> My computer crashed and hopefully Mon that will be fixed, really hoping so as I have hundreds of photos .. (mostly of the pup lol)
> 
> so thank you again, I will keep popping in, Pup and I have a lot to tell people about how Poodles are really people in dog suits.
> besos !


YAY!!!! Fantastic news! I am so happy to hear Pup is on the mend!


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## Trillium

I'm so glad that he came through so well! I hope and pray that he heals really quickly. Keep us posted!!


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## Hey_j

So good to hear that things are going so well, considering what he's going through! Thank you, Lord!! 

And, thank you, Pup's Mom, for keeping us updated!

janice


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## McKay

such good news!


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## Siskojan

Get well soon Pup, I'm so relieved to hear all went well.


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## fjm

So glad it went well, and that you were able to be with him as he woke up - what a brilliant vet you have!


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## Chagall's mom

Oh happy day!! What great news to get; a real Mother's Day present to hear your dear boy is through his surgery and doing well!! Your love of him truly worked miracles. I'm so very, very happy for you! What a lovely poodle he must be to awaken so calmly after his surgery. I know he felt safe and secure in your loving, waiting arms. I wish Pup a speedy recovery and many healthy years ahead. I look forward to the day when you resume his walks in the park!


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## Dallasminis

As Chagall's mom said: This is really the best Mother's Day present ever! I am no happy for you that Pup is going to be OK...thank you for letting us in on all this, I hope you will continue to post his daily improvements on the Forum...it has been just wonderful hearing how much you love your Pup and it has been very special to have been a part of his healing though prayers etc. What a happy day this is!


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## FozziesMom

So glad to hear Pup is on the mend! How wonderful to be with him when they put him under and woke him up--that is not allowed at my vet. He is so lucky to have such a loving mama. 

sweet doggie kisses from Fozzie to both,

FM


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## Pup's mom

Oh thank you, how kind you are !
Today he took his pills like the sweetheart he is and he has had a fairly good day. In the middle of the night he woke me up with his panting, I got the pain pill and he and I managed to sleep til morning. He is nodding now in front of the television, wrapped in his "nap blanket" and doing pretty good. There were no upsetting episodes of bleeding, extreme pain or anything, he is in a pretty good mood, smiling most of the time.
We were able to walk 2 blocks to the park and my husband said that this morning, he was even "jaunty" .. 
Tomorrow we see the doctor at a hospital closer to home.. this one is like the New York Animal Center in NYC from what I have heard.. state of the art animal hospital.
They should have that sort of thing here, with the horses ( polo etc) and ranches here.
It was pretty chilly out today so we all just snuggled in and made the best of it .. I think it was a very good day, post op.
muchas besos from Pup and I ..


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## Pup's mom

Today Pup had his post op check up.
He is looking good  They tell us to expect him to be much more himself in a few more days. Right now he is still napping a lot ( pain meds are good) and walking slowly... which if you think about it .. who wouldn't ?? they just removed his spleen !
In about a week, the stitches come out and we get the results of the biopsy which I will not think about ..

My computer crashed. 
I think that about does it with the bad news, we will expect nothing but Good news from now on


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## Ruth

Thank you for updating!

Hoping that there's nothing but good news from now on too! So glad to hear he's doing well, hoping he recovers well and soon.

Many hugs for you and Pup!


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## Dallasminis

I continue to visulize a very healthy pup going for walks with his very happy people...more pictures of the healthy poodle, please.


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## Pup's mom

My computer decided to crash this week and today my computer wizard said it is dead .. he can save my photos but at the moment I am using my husbands laptop.. but .. I have a phone that has photos so when I figure out how, I will send some along.
Many many thanks from the three of us, way down here


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## cavon

I'm so glad to hear that Pup is on the mend!! Please give your handsome boy a hug and kiss from Finnegan & I!!!


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## Pup's mom

Anyone who has had their pup seriously ill and seen them lying there, whether at home on the bed or in the hospital .. probably knows that deep sadness and the worry that this might be the last time you see them, touch them, laugh at their silliness or be able to just give them a hug ..
Last night Pup was lying on the floor , napping, on one of the many rugs and blankets lying around to cushion his old bones from the hard floors.
I was reading and keeping an eye on him .. when he got up, looked at us, walked around the room a little then spied his old chewed up rawhide bone on the floor.
He walked over, sniffed it and then .... he picked it up, dropped it, hit it with his foot, did some sort of little pouncing thing and then looked at me with this big goofy smile on his face :act-up:
He was playing !!!
He woke up in the night and needed a pain pill but he is now staring a hole through me because it is time for breakfast ... I think our prayers have been answered ..


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

This all sounds so positive! I am happy to hear Pup is doing so well. Give him a big hug from his Canadian friends.


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## Pup's mom

Just back from the vet. He is in great shape and doing perfectly well.. even better than they expected.
(The Power of Love ) .... and Positive Thoughts 
Thank you .. besos ..


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## Ruth

So very relieved to hear this!! The power of love indeed! With your love and care I'm sure he'll be ok soon. 

I feel so happy for you and Pup, please give him lots of hugs from me and my 3 fur kids! :love2:


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## Hey_j

Ahh, and even more, (I have to say as you, Pup's Mom, also said) the power of prayer, when in tune with the Creator's plan!! :amen: 
Hmmm, I think I just amen'ed my own prayer--is that allowed??:alberteinstein: I think so, really!:angel:

I'm so relieved and happy for you both!!

I continue to pray a very speedy recovery and that you won't have to face a day without your pup, again, for a great while!!

janice


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## Chagall's mom

Just catching up on your updates...I'm guessing your "miracle" Pup is stronger and better yet now. What a happy thought! I hope you get your computer replaced soon or figure out how to upload photos from your cell phone onto the forum. I'm anxious to see your sweet Pup doing well!


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## Dallasminis

Yay for Pup, would love to see recent pix!


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## Pup's mom

Today, in the park, with a much improved, sort of frisky, still loving his naps, pain free ( we think) Pup.
Tuesday he gets his stitches out.
Later in the week the vet said we can use her groomer who will wash him and dry him and we can be in there with him and help if we want.
He just needs to be clean .. his hair was short enough so he isn't going to matt or be too much of a mess but he smells like a ... dog .
Thank you for all of your good thoughts and wishes !!


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## Ruth

Thanks for the update!
Nice to see he's recovering well! He's so cute. :love2:


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## Jessie's Mom

pup's mom - i just found this thread and couldn't stop reading it until i read all 130+ responses and updates from you. yes, this is an amazing forum - the support is priceless. i am so glad that your experience had a happy ending. the power of prayer is amazing - & yes, amen to your own prayer is allows :amen: i look forward to some pics and more updates. please count jessie & i as part of your support team. your words brought tears to my eyes several times throughout this thread. i say all the time the soul of a poodle could never be matched.... :amen:


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## Pup's mom

Thank you again for the kind words and support and all that puppy love floating through the air 

Today was a better day than yesterday .. every day is better. Pup woke with his old energy this morning, bouncing around the house, ready for adventure. We took him to the park and he enjoyed himself, taking a very long walk with us and fooling around with other pups, leaves, flowers and a variety of people who wanted to pet him, talk to him, and as always, someone wanting to take his photo.
He had his cafe time and when we came home, he went straight to his toy basket and brought his bear into the living room where , after offering it to me first, he proceeded to kill it. He is now sound asleep, on the floor, with the bear under his chin.
It doesn't seem possible, but times like this, I love him even more.

Tomorrow we go to the vet, another check up and stitches come out.

Here is a photo of Pup with his "chicken leg" .. they shaved it for the IV during surgery.
His "war wound" ...
besos to you .. and your pups.


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## CT Girl

How nice to see Pup looking so good after his operation. Glad to hear his bounce is back, that is the best indicator that he is doing well.


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## Pup's mom

Pup is looking better every day .. right now he is on his blanket, on the rug and having a wrestling match with his rawhide bone.
Today he was very frisky and I am amazed that it has only been 9 days since he had his spleen removed.
Tomorrow the stitches come out .. I am hoping it is not painful.
We are enjoying fabulous fall weather so he is out every day with us for short walks and long explorations in the park, lolling in the grass, basically a good convalescence for a pup.


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## Trillium

I'm so glad he is doing so well!!


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## Jessie's Mom

so happy he is continually doing better. i'm sure you are too. does the vet think there is any need for any type of follow up after the stitches are removed?


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## Ruth

I'm so so glad for both you and Pup. Thank you for sharing pictures of him too. 
It gets me all teary eyed to see him doing so well, I'm so happy for you!

Hugs!!


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## Pup's mom

*News*

Just back from the vet, getting his stitches out .. quick easy and seemed painless. 
The biopsy came back on the mass - it was cancer.
The vet /surgeon will be seeing us at this vets office on Mon to discuss chemotherapy.
I am grieving again for my sweet boy, he feels good right now and is back to his old silly self.
He will be 12 on June 21st.
I have read a tiny bit on chemo on dogs, I know it does not affect them in the same ways as humans.. but I have a lot of homework to do now and decision making. How will his quality of life be with chemo vs leaving him alone .. he had tests before the surgery- no metastasis .. slight heart murmer and his bones etc were good in the scans ... so after they removed the cancerous mass, how long can he live without chemo ? with chemo ? ugh ! I don't want to think about any of it or acknowledge any of it. We were so happy this morning.
If anyone has advice, feel free to share.. I trust your knowledge and great big soft hearts. Thank you, Candice.


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## fjm

I am so sorry you are facing this, Candice. You have a knowledgeable, kind and caring vet, who knows both you and Pup. This is the time to talk everything through with her, and listen to her advice, and then your love for Pup will help you to do whatever is best for him. No matter how much we love them, our dogs' lifespan is shorter than ours, and we cannot change that. Enjoy the good times ahead - they may be better and last longer than you fear. And agree with your vet how you will ensure that Pup never has to suffer pain, and what signs will tell you that life is becoming a burden to him rather than a joy. But I hope that time is still a long, long way off, and you can manage this illness and share happy times together for years to come.


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## Chagall's mom

Oh Candice, I am so sorry for the news you've gotten! I can tell you as others read it, their hearts too will fall to the ground. I second everything* fjm *so eloquently said. You have to trust in your own heart and wisdom now, using your devoted vet's good counsel as your guide. It seems to me you're asking all the right questions. Once you get more information from the vet on Monday about the risks, side effects and benefits of doing chemo, you'll be in a better position to decide how to proceed. There may be many uncertainties right now, but what _is _certain is Pup can count on you to do the right thing for him. I absolutely know you will. I am very sorry for your heart ache.


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## Yaddaluvpoodles

I am so sorry to hear of Pup's cancer diagnosis. I may have missed it.. but didn't see the type of cancer? That could be really important as you are making decisions. I'm guessing that it is a hemangiosarcoma.. but it's just a guess. Here is a link that you may find helpful... specifically regarding hemangiosarcoma (if that is not the type of cancer that Pup was diagnosed with, please disregard! Ginger and her diet for her hemangiosarcoma

I lost my Riley to a cancer, either hemangiosarcoma or lymphoma.. I didn't have a biopsy done and the cancer had traits of both, but had differing traits too. Ri's tumor was huge, and right next to (and most likely invading) his heart when he was diagnosed. I chose not to treat because of the size and location of the tumor. As circumstances would have it, I had to have him euthanized less than 24 hours later. But Riley gave me such an incredible gift of love... that I was comfortable with all of my decisions regarding him. He was such a wonderful boy and trusted me fully. That trust helps a lot. Vic, his mom was diagnosed with cancer (based on many, many growths on various places of her body, that the vet could see, touch--no biopsies were done, it's possible, but not likely that it wasn't cancer....) nearly a year and a half ago. Again, I chose not to treat her. We've had a couple of miracles with tumor regression and remission. Then about a month ago, she developed a growth in her mouth. It looks ugly. The vet looked, shook her head at me. The prognosis isn't good. I've been making plans to bury the poor girl <VBG> since she was 4 and a half years old. She's now twelve.... there isn't much I wouldn't do to give her another few years... but all I can do is hope for a miracle...and enjoy every single day I have with her. I think that's the important thing with dogs. They live so much in the moment. If we make the moments special... well.. it totals up to making life special.. and that's what it's all about.

I don't envy you the decision making process, every situation is different, every dog is different, there aren't too many easy decisions..but I know that whatever decision you make, it will be guided by love for Pup... and that makes it the right decision.

Big hugs, Darla


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## Pup's mom

If I wasn't already a weepy mess .... all this kindness and love is heartwarming, comforting and just what I needed ... thank you, thank you, thank you.
I have a dear friend who breeds Poodles and after telling her that I was not wanting to go with the chemo, what did she think ... she told me that she would not do it either, considering his age etc plus she is not an advocate of chemo in older dogs. After reading of the many examples of older dogs who have died within months anyway- whether from the chemo or the disease, I am more sure that we will not have this treatment ..
Pup became my "child" after my own kids went on their own and then when we moved here, he is not only my beloved pet/companion but he made our living here so much easier !
There is no better ambassador of good will than a Standard Poodle ! Every day, people talk to us about him, pet him, take photos of him and we won't even talk about the many women who talk love talk to him and kiss him !
And he , as you can imagine, knowing how your own pups are, is sweet, gentle and accepting of all love and kisses.
Want to hear a sweet story ?
A while back, we were walking and a couple with a child, maybe 2 years old was walking towards us .. the baby went nuts, wanting to touch the dog.
The parents asked if she could, so I said yes, confident he will be gentle around babies, as the baby came towards him, his tail wagging away, he lay down. No one told him to ... he just lay down in front of the baby and she was able to pet him and kiss him. and he just smiled.
That is my Pup. There is going to be a huge hole in our lives when he is gone.
I cannot imagine life without him ... it will be much less sunny and bright.


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## PaddleAddict

Hi Pup's Mom,

Pup sounds like such a sweet gentleman. A cancer diagnosis is so scary... but since the vet thinks the tumor did not metastasize and now it has been removed and he is feeling better, maybe you will have more time with Pup than you think. I would just focus on keeping him happy and feeling good and go from there. Pup is very lucky to have such a caring owner.


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## Jessie's Mom

candice, anything i could say would be redundant. no one can give you the "right" answer because you're his mom and the answer has to come from your heart after you are given all the facts to consider. like it was already mentioned, maybe because it hadn't metastasized he has a good shot of living another couple of years. regardless, it is wonderful that dogs live in the moment, as was, again, already mentioned. we learn so much from our spoos, i think this is a way of life that we should adopt. live in the moment. forget the pains of yesterday because they are over, don't think about the future because it isn't here yet, live for today because it truly is a "present". 

jessie & i send love and hugs and good thoughts, healing prayers to pup and of course you and your family.

ann marie


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## georgiapeach

I lost a 7 year old boxer (best dog I ever had!) about a year and a half ago to cancer. We had a large mass removed from his neck, and he got worse within days. I chose not to do chemo. We watched him feeling miserable -he'd come up to us and just hang his head down, with pleading eyes - like "help me!". We made the decision to let him go to the rainbow bridge the next day. It was so hard to do, but I still believe that it was best for him.

As long as your dog feels well, enjoy him! You'll know when the time is right - your dog will "tell you". Good luck, and I hope you have many happy days left with him! :hug-left::hug-right:


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## Pup's mom

Today Pup and my husband and I went to the park, then after Pup finished smelling every single blade of grass in the park, we walked on over to a cafe where he sat and rested while we had tea. Then we walked back home. It was a long-ish walk but he never looked tired, we walked slowly. And when home he napped. He ate a normal dinner, every bite and now he is sleeping here in the living room, surrounded by toys, blankets and a much chewed rawhide chewy that has seen better days.
We have decided that we are not going to meet with the doctor who wants us to do chemotherapy.
After much reading, soul searching and research, we do not want to do this to Pup. He is almost 12. The mass on his spleen was removed with the spleen, if the cancer cells are in him, sooner or later they will form another mass somewhere and then it might be time to say goodbye.
But for now, he is doing well and I intend for him to have only the best last days. . hopefully the "last days" will be years.
In the meantime, I am rubbing that belly every day and telling him how much I love him. What more could any of us ask for ? 
Thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart for your comforting words.


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## fjm

I think in the same circumstances I would make the same decision - give Pup a tummy rub from me.


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## Trillium

When your furry family member gets really sick there are so many hard and heart wrenching decisions to make. I agree with fjm I'd probably make the same decision too. Give him hugs for me.


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## Pup's mom

Today I told our vet that we were not going to put Pup through chemotherapy.
She sent me a message later in the day ( we enjoy sending messages and emails because of the translators  ) and said that if we like, she will talk to an immunologist ( she called it an immunotherapist..)
This is good .. he can take his vitamins and what he needs to counter act having lost his spleen.
I am hoping for good days, better days to come.
Today he met us at the door all bouncy and happy, he sniffed around the park, paid special attention to the pigeons and bounced home too .. Right now he is napping .. across the doorway , in case anyone considers trying to get out of this room without his knowing it.
So far, today has been a good day.


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## Dallasminis

All the best to you and Pup, you are certainly doing everything for him. Love to you all. So many years you have had with him count for everything...


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## Chagall's mom

You have kept the pact you made with Pup at the beginning; to love and care for him and do the very best for him always. I wholeheartedly support your decision to continue helping him enjoy the best, fullest life possible. I know every bounce, every sniff, every nap he takes is all the more precious now. Your bravery in sharing your story is a reminder to us all that time only guarantees us a "now," the future is up for grabs. Thanks in part to hearing Pup's story, I now make a special effort not to hurry Chagall when he wants just a few more throws of the ball, I even lay down the vacuum cleaner and play tug-the-rope when he patters over and drops it at my feet. I know every moment you get to share with Pup is extra special now. I wish you a long, long, long run of happy moments going forward. I hope Pup feels well.


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## Jessie's Mom

of all the wonderful and beautiful things in this world, we can count the soul of the poodle to be one of them. 

candice, the way you wrote this story, you have captured all of our hearts. several times your words brought tears to my eyes and i am so certain you did the same to others. just keep loving pup. he may be completely cancer free for all you know. whatever it is, know that we are all here with you so you can always turn to this forum for strength and compassion. i think for right now, you should rest easy, take him to the see the specialist who will help you put him on whatever nutrition he needs - couple that with all the love and i think he has more than a fighting chance for some very wonderful times ahead.

hugs & love....ann marie


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## Pup's mom

Today was a great day ! 
Pup slept like a baby all night, I checked on him a couple of times and he was snoring away. Curled up with his blanket, I worry he might be prone to being cold more now so he keeps his blanket on him at night ! Picture this- in the morning, I am sitting and having coffee and he comes walking down the hall, blanket draped over him, trailing behind him, smiling .. then he curls up next to me and has another nap.
He is eating like a champ ! he walks in the park, plays , tried to catch a pigeon today, he is frisky and happy and sleeping a little less.
Mon morning we will see our vet and the immunotherapy dr .. 
Hopefully we can get him bathed this week.. the vet has a grooming room, the groomer will let us in to help and we will give him a bath and dry him. No a big brushing thing or cutting, just cleaning him up .. he is starting to smell like a dog .. can you imagine ??:afraid:
He is surrounded by stuffed toys right now, and dozing .. like an old man, his head nodding.
It was a good day. 
Again, thank you for all the sweet and comforting things you have written, it means so much to us.** I am sorry for the sideways photo, I don't know how to adjust it here .. but you can still get an idea of how good he is looking .. hairy but good


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## Pup's mom

*This weekend*

It was a pretty good weekend.
Flowers, smiles and making friends with pigeons and a nice nap now and then.


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## CT Girl

I am so sorry to hear about the cancer. I have seen people who have put their dogs through too much treatment because they were not ready to let go. I think your decision for Pup considering his age and everything sounds like the right one. My heart is breaking for you. Hopefully with your loving care he will have several more years of romping in the park and snuggling up to you. ((Hugs))


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## fjm

He looks like a very happy dog, enjoying his people and his life. Dogs live in the here and now - they don't worry about the future, or maybes, or what ifs. It sounds as if Pup is offering you a very precious gift - learning to live in the present.


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## Pup's mom

Today has been fantastic so far !
We went to the park and Pup ran, sniffed and played and bounced around like a kid. We walked as far as he wanted .. we stopped at a cafe where he got to have a nice long drink ( the waiter sees us coming and goes to get the big water jug they give Pup water from) and he lay in the sun and rested while we had our coffee.
Walking back, there was no sign of tiredness, he bounced all the way home... ate all of his dinner and is now napping in here with us.
Thank you CT Girl, I hope for years more .. 
You are right , fjm, it is day to day .. I just hope and pray for many more days


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## littlestitches

It is good to hear he seems to be his old self. 

Do you have any pictures of him walking with his blanket on, that sounds so cute.

Paula


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## Pup's mom

Thank you littlestitches 
I have one here, not walking but sleeping .. that blanket has been through a lot !


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## Pup's mom

Here is a better look at the boy with the blanket !


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

Pup has so much character. My thoughts and prayers will be with you. Hoping the surgery allows you a few more years with your boy. HUGS!!!!


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## Pup's mom

*Pup Udate*

Not the sort of news I would like to report but here it is ... I will search and find any positives and hang on to dear life ..
He has/had hemangiosarcoma.. it is in his blood vessels.. the tumor was on his spleen which as "luck" would have it, meant the spleen could be removed. These things also target hearts lungs and livers.
He was scanned, xrayed etc and as of now, there are no tumors and nothing in his lungs, heart or liver .. they actually looked at his liver in the surgery so as of now , we know these things are clear and good.
The bad news is that even with the surgery, even with chemo, it comes back somewhere else. The life span is not that long.
We refused the chemo and today we saw an immunologist as an alternative and sadly, he recommended chemo first .. whatever time he has left, I want it to be as good as possible, chemo on dogs is not good.
And then they don't live long after the chemo ..
So at this moment, Pup is alert, cheerful and playful and not in pain.
My heart is breaking but his is going strong. As long as this is the way he remains, he will be here with us.
We are hoping to have a big happy Birthday ... number 12 ! for him in June.
so that is the news.
The vet was thrilled with his weight gain and his general look and behavior so I am going to live with a focus on how he is at the moment and treasure each of those minutes.
hugs to you all who have given me/us such support and sweet thoughts..


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## Ruth

My Gawd, I'm so sorry!! *hugs*
I had so many things going on I hadn't checked on your thread, and I'm so sorry to hear about all this. 

I don't even know what to say, but cherish whatever precious time you share with Pup, for as long as you notice he's feeling fine and happy.
My thoughts are with you. More and more hugs!


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## Chagall's mom

Oh, *Pup's mom,* what a hard blow to be dealt! I'm _so sorry_ for this news. You've been amazing throughout this ordeal; so resilient! It flat out stinks to get hit with such a diagnosis, but your outlook is absolutely the best. Your desire to focus on Pup and his well being, and to enjoy the wonderful relationship you've longed shared with him, makes you the model poodle owner in my book. The highest compliment I can pay a person is say they are "poodle worthy," and you, my dear, good woman, certainly are! I am glad Pup is with you, still feeling well and enjoying naps beneath his well-worn blanket, and walks to the parks and stops at the cafes. I know each time he opens his beautiful eyes and sees you there, his world is complete. To be there for and with him is all that matters. You and your adorable Pup continue to be in my thoughts. My heart is with you.


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

I am so sorry! Surely not the news any of us were hoping to read. Just take one day at a time, loving him and looking into those beautiful eyes. If you have to make the decision we all dread, I can assure you from my recent experience, knowing the pain and suffering you will be sparing your beautiful boy helps makes the pain more bearable. My thoughts are with you all!


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## Dallasminis

I want to be positive...I want you to enjoy every good moment you have with him...I am glad you are there for him when he needs you...you have an awesome relationship and I am happy that today you can enjoy each other. We will be here for you throughout...love him today!


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## Ruth

Chagall's mom said:


> I know each time he opens his beautiful eyes and sees you there, his world is complete. To be there for and with him is all that matters.


This is beautiful, Chagall's mom, and so true. 

More hugs and good thoughts for you!


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## Pup's mom

Pup and I send love and thanks for all of your kind words and loving thoughts.

Nothing better than feeding the pigeons to get a Pups attention off of any aches or pains he might have.


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## Ruth

Pup looks so cute with the pigeons! Hugs!! :love2:


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## Pup's mom

Thank you .. thank you.. thank you . 
I am so tired of crying and today I ended up on the floor with the vet, with both of us crying .... about a cat .
I have been blessed with young parents and a healthy family and not many deaths in the family. My little cat had diabetes for years before he died and that was still traumatic for me. So much so that I will not let Tate spend the night at a vet/hospital.. my little cat died at the vets, and I never forgave myself, he should have been home with us.
So this has all left me feeling shattered and I am soothed and touched and comforted by your responses, so thank you again, from the bottom of my heart.
This morning he was licking the ( used to be small) lump on his foreleg, then I noticed it bleeding. So we ran over to the vet ( she is 3 blocks away ) and as she was looking at it, it ruptured .. the lump that was/is a cyst.
Thank goodness we were there when it happened, it was a mess plus she gave him antibiotics and cleaned it and bandaged him and now he is good to go again.
She even put a bandage on that is cute .. wrapping his leg in an elastic bandage that is white with blue paw prints... as if he doesn't get enough attention here ! 
I managed to ask her about What do I do when he dies .. who do I call, what do I do .. and she said Call her. Cover him with a sheet and call her and she and another vet will come and get him and take him to their office/or stay here with us.. they will call the company that will come pick him up and he will be cremated and they will give us his ashes.
I managed not to weep, until she said, she has her little cat who died in January in a box at home, waiting for the garden to be finished, that is where they will put her ashes, because she loved the garden and then the vet started to cry .. then I started to cry ... Tate just stuck his big wet nose into the weepy mess and made us laugh .. 
We walked all over town afterwards, having coffee and sweets at a favorite cafe where he got to meet some new people and made a baby laugh.
All in all, with such a dramatic beginning, it has been a good day.
We are snuggling in tonight and treasuring whatever time we have .. the vet spoke of his medicine that he takes and said that we can have his blood checked in a month of two to be sure he is not becoming anemic again .. this would also be a sign that the cancer is attacking another organ. . but it was heartening to hear her talking about months ahead in the future ..


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## Ruth

I'm so sad for all you're going through. I feel your pain and the love you feel for your beloved Pup. *hugs hugs hugs*

I do find it heartening too! It's best to focus on the present though, cherish every single moment with him as I'm sure he does with you.

Many many hugs and good thoughts and wishes for you, Pup and your family!


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## Pup's mom

Thank you Ruth .. hugs to you too.
Thankfully, he has no thoughts or worries about Time and what happens next .. that is all mine to think about and wonder how things will be when he is not here with us any longer.
Because of this, I try to go through these days like he does, enjoying the day , the moment, blocking out tomorrow or next week .. I am trying my best to be completely in the moment with him for this time.
He had a good day today, a long walk, fresh air, cafe time, lots of pets and baby talk from kind strangers and now he is in here with us, his bed, his toys, his blanket and his chewies, all gathered around for him to enjoy.
He is napping from all that fresh air .. my sweet old boy.
Photo : Today with his bandage..
sorry for the sideways photo !


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## Ruth

He's so sweet! Thank you for sharing his pictures!


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## outwest

Oh, it reminds me so much of myself not long ago. My dear, dear Clara was 11 years old. She developed a cough- not a bad one, but it was there. The vet gave her antibiotics and it seemed to get better. She started sleeping a little more and I chocked it up to being old. Over the next two months the cough came back slowly. Then she started panting more than usual after playing. They took a chest xray (she had the cough for near three months then, gradually getting worse). It was bad. They said there was an 80% chance it was cancer. They did some blood work, too. She had an infection, so we were thrilled. We thought maybe she had pneumonia. Two courses of different antibiotics and the cough didn't go away. We prepared outselves exactly like you are. We made her comfortable and spoiled her and made sure she was happy. 

Then she stopped eating. We enticed her with her favorite foods and she ate, for a week or two. Finally, the time came. She was panting nearly nonstop during the day. I cried and cried, but knew what I had to do. She was suffering so. Here she is with my daughter when she was about 6. She was such a great dog:









Although I didn't want to admit it, after a while with the whole house mourning, even my whippet, we decided the best cure for all of us was a standard poodle puppy. And so, the cycle begins again. I take solice in the fact that I gave Clara the best life I could with people who loved her. It is so crappy that dogs live such a short time.

May your pup live a long time more as a healthy dog! May the surgery have been successful for him. Clara had cancer in her lungs. The vet said chemo wouldn't help her and surgery was not an option. I feel your pup is maybe luckier than Clara. I pray so anyway. 

In the mean time, our puppy Bonnie warms our hearts again.


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## Jessie's Mom

PUP'S MOM, i haven't been on pf for a couple of days. came back to start a thread and noticed the activity in your thread. i'm sorry to hear the news about PUP. 

first, i want to say i think your courage and clear thinking about what to do based what is best for PUP is admirable. it is very hard to think selflessly at times like this.

second, i want to echo the advice you've been given (not that you needed our advice) - just enjoy every single second he is with you, which could be quite a while. our poodles teach us a lot - we should all have the soul of a poodle inside of us. the world would be a better place.

i also want to thank you for sharing your journey with us. sometimes we all get too caught up with our lives to remember the most important things, which is stopping to smell the roses. i know, for me, as much as i look forward to everything minute i spend with jessie, there are times when i could get annoyed over silly things. reading your journey puts everything in perspective: forget the little things that annoy us, don't let those reactions of ours rob us of precious time with the ones we love the most in this world - our poodles included. 

PUP has enriched your life immensely, it is obvious. they are like our angels - maybe they are just not meant to be here forever. when their work is done, they move on and wait for us on the other side of the rainbow bridge. but he is still here and hopefully will be for quite a while yet - so let him continue to teach you what you need to still learn, even if part of that learning is how to let go when the time is right.

they are wiser than we are....

hugs & more hugs

ann marie & jessie


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## Pup's mom

Your comments are balm to my breaking heart, I am sorry anyone has to go through loss and grief .. I thank you so very much for your sweet thoughts and kindness.
Yesterday we went to the vet and our boy got his bandage changed on the cyst that decided to break the other night, on his leg. He has a nice little bandage that has little blue stars on it .. if he needed any attention, that is doing the job just fine.
We told the vet that we are letting him just live until he doesn't .. I am not giving him any treatments and I am sure we will know when the time comes. 
For now, he is still recovering , with a lot of naps and then a sudden flurry of activity, such as tonights fight to the finish with an old stuffed toy.. He is now sleeping it off on his blanket, full of holes from baby Pup days when he would chew and chew. That blanket traveled with him from NJ to Fl to Or to Argentina. It looks like I feel 
Here is a photo , taken today, after a walk to the park, he wanted to check and see if the vet was in and handing out anymore cookies. (she was not and I had to do a lot of making up for that, let me tell you !)


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

You totally have your head screwed on right and your heart in the right place. Bless you and bless Pup. Tricky little monkey...getting Mom to dole out the goodies when the Vet isn't around. That is so cute!


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## Pup's mom

Today was a good GOOD day ! Pup had a good time moseying around the park, playing, walking and helping the Wizard set up my new computer. He is now napping beside me, he has eaten well, not drinking as much water and seems much more relaxed and pain free ... needless to say, my spirits are much higher too. I won´t look beyond the moment, moments like this are enough !


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## Jessie's Mom

what a wonderful blessing! we hope you have many, many more days like this. truth is: they could've gotten everything out and if they didn't, it could be quite a while before it rears its ugly head again. so why not just be in the moment, especially when in the moment he is well!! you know, sometimes it's ok to play make believe - and this is one of those times. just make believe none of what happened happened and all is ok - cause for now, it is.


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## Pup's mom

You are right ! They got the mass .. it was luckily on his spleen which was able to be removed, otherwise, he might not be here right now !
They will check his blood now and then, if he becomes suddenly anemic, they will know it is happening somewhere else again. But for now, I am trying to adjust to the way things are now and not lose out on any time we have left .. he is happy and enjoying himself again, walking and playing and being silly... he is sleeping all night again and not getting up in the night and going for water, wandering, restless, he slept next to my side of the bed all night, almost in the same position. 
He is out taking his morning walk with his Dad now and then later we will go for some park time. He is eating well too 
I am doing my best to shut out all worries and fears of the future and appreciating and enjoying every minute of the Now ..
Probably a good way for everyone to try to think but it can be difficult sometimes, can´t it ?
Once again, thank you for being there.. muchas besos from way down here ..


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## Jessie's Mom

yes, it definitely can be difficult at times. you are showing a lot of courage and you positive stature will definitely be felt by him. we know our pups are very sensitive to our moods. keep up the beautiful spirit you have !!


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## CT Girl

Dogs live in the moment and to deal with what is going on that is what you are doing. The way you are coping is an inspiration and despite his illness Pup is a very lucky dog because he has you.


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## Pup's mom

Just a note to say hello and to post something cheerful .
Pup has been feeling great. He has gained back all lost weight. He can't get a bath yet, so I washed his legs and belly and we had a good ole _lay around on the floor while mama brushes us_ evening and he at least looks halfway decent. He still smells good so that is a blessing 
He is playful again, getting up and going off into the back of the house, coming back with a toy which he carries to his bed in the living room and ends up falling asleep with it, after having a good chew.
He is willing and able to take long walks again, although we are limiting distances still. And I stand guard over him whenever any other dogs come around, in case one decides to get too close/familiar/aggressive.
This hasn't really happened but I worry .. 
My computer died, we bought a new one, then we had to wait for our Wizard to come over and get this one running and then today to fix all the little glitches.. so photos finally I have my photos back .. ( I know you are too polite to groan and say n_o more photos_ !! )
I will control myself and only post a couple 
Winter had finally arrived and I keep him covered at night with a fleece blanket. It is a sight to see, in the morning, when that fuzzy head pops up out of the blankets and smiles at me .. then wanders down the hall, with his blanket still over his back, dragging along behind him.
(where is the icon for love ?)


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## CT Girl

It is great to hear he is doing so well. He does not look in need of a bath by his pictures - still looking sharp and very happy. Swizzle gets stinky after a week I just can't take it and give him a bath.

PS I love the photos - bring them on!


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## Pup's mom

This was the haircut before he had the surgery. It was just his feet that were getting smelly. And after the surgery, we washed him, here at home, with cloths and towels so he wouldn't smell like pee.
I am always surprised at how nice he smells, he smells like clean hair


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## Jessie's Mom

bring those photos on! we love pictures - especially of happy poodles, and Pup is showing himself to be very happy. thank God for big and small miracles.....i'm very happy for you. you went through such a scary time. you have a way of writing that so deeply conveys your complete adoration of your little man. it's wonderful to read...


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## Pup's mom

Thank you, it was a scary time! I am still scared , truth be told. And I push back the thought that he can/might get sick again .. but I am trying very hard to live in the moment with him and treasure all of this time we have been given. 
We were so afraid for him, it is still hard to relax and not worry. But he makes the days brighter, my silly pup..


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## outwest

He has such a nice face. I am glad he is feeling better. Enjoy him every day he has. He looks healthy in the picture!


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## Pup's mom

Thank you ! The last photo is an older one - pre- illness/pre-move to Argentina. He does have a beautiful face though .. today he looks good, cheerful, silly. We will go visit the vet .. make sure everything is good, get some meds for that cyst that broke on his leg !!! 
you know what they say ... If it isn't one thing, it's another ...


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## Pup's mom

*Good days good days !*

Today's photo says it all.

He has this cyst that is erupting on his leg, the doc has been working on it and sure enough, a second then third hole opened. He is on antibiotics and she is doing the sugar wrapping.. are you familiar with it ? amazing and it works so fast !! And he gets new bandages every day so everyone can comment on it as we take our walks ... just in case he doesn't get enough attention here


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## littlestitches

I have heard that sugar is good for keeping bacteria from growing, but I have never heard of sugar wrapping. It sounds nice and natural. Can you tell us more about it? 

Paula


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## Chagall's mom

Pup is such a sweetheart, it figures a little "extra sugar" is doing him good! It's so nice to know he's spending his days so happily, out in the park and among his many admirers. That sugar wrapping sounds like a wonderful holistic treatment. My grandma used to say "honey is good for _everything_," I guess she knew what she was talking about! I think it's cute his "boo-boo" is dressed with such fancy bandages. Nothing but the best for your wonderful guy, and that's what I continue to wish him.


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## Pup's mom

I called it sugar wrapping but this is what she does ... the first day she removed the bandages and his skin was dark and the thing was oozing blood and goo and was horrible. She shaved the hair away, cut away everything dead, he didn't flinch .. and then she washed it with saline.
Then ( he was lying on the floor the whole time) she poured white sugar on it .. a little pile on his cyst .. then she wrapped him up tight with gauze , covered with the elastic fancy bandage that you see in the photo.
Today , she opened the bandage and there was a 3rd oozing spot so she did the same thing again. She said that there was no dead skin, no smell and it looked clean but if it didn't start healing she would have to put him on antibiotics again.
He has already had a shot and was taking pills.
Her family owns an estancia/campo ( Argentine cattle ranch) so she knows her animal business 
Plus she gets right down on the floor with him and baby talks him, gives him treats, kisses his face and basically treats him the way I would like him to be treated. and in return, he walks in there, the day after painful shots and skin cleaning and wags his tail, gives her his paw and gives her a kiss.:angel:

Crossed fingers for tomorrows visit that the new lesion is healing and the whole thing will start to go away.


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## Chagall's mom

Your vet's loving and kind treatment of Pup proves she's a true healer. Frankly, we could use more doctors like her to deal with human patients! I think your good karma got you to her, the same way it brought Pup into your life. You've totally surrounded him with love, even during medical procedures! I hope tomorrow's visit goes well and his wound is soon gone. I'll be here wishing for that.


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## Pup's mom

*Pup and I*

Thank you for your kind words ... again ~

Pup and I have been close from Day 1 . We bonded immediately and while he is also very close to my husband, he is my baby.
You know how you feel sometimes when you meet someone, a doctor .. they either inspire confidence or make you want to walk right back out the door ? I have met doctors and I have met vets like this .. and as I have gotten older and wiser .. I am fine with getting up and walking out that door if they don't "feel right" to me.
This vet has never made us feel anything less than confident.
When I talked to her about What If ... and needed to know about who to call and how to get him taken care of .. she immediately told me .. Call her. Cover him up, call her. She would call the people who would come take care of him for me and bring us his ashes. And then she cried. And then I cried. Sitting on the floor, arms around each other, Pup right in the middle of it , weeping.

My goal now is to savor every minute he has left and to be sure he and we enjoy his time left with us.

And when the time comes, I will call her and she will be there with us then too.


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## littlestitches

Your vet sounds like an Angel, you both are very lucky to have her. There is a special place in Heaven for people like her.

Thank you for the information on the sugar wrap. I did a little internet searching and found out more information too. It is great to see natural alternatives being used, saving the antibiotics for when they are really necessary.

Paula


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## schpeckie

Oh Heavens - we are all praying that Pup feels better soon! What a ordeal you and your family have gone through. And Yes, your Vet sounds like a real Angel. As my eyes are tearing up reading your post, please give some hugs and kisses to Pup from us girls. Sylvia, Lacey and Sadie


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## Pup's mom

*Thank you !*

Somedays, it is just fun to play dress up, you know ?


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## CT Girl

That looks like Pup's color. How is he doing? Are the cysts healing up?


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## Pup's mom

Yes, it goes well with his brown hair 
The cyst broke and we thought that was the beginning of the end and 2 days later there was another small hole and now , as of Friday, a third which sort of made the entire thing look like an open wound. He is sugared and bandaged and tomorrow the surgeon will be there at 11 am to see us.

You know what they say .. If it isn't one thing, it's another :argh:


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## outwest

Did I mention what great ears Pup has? 
I hope the cysts go away soon. That pup has been through enough lately (and so have you).


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## Pup's mom

Thank you ! those ears get brushed all the time, dipped into water and food dishes, dragged through whatever it is he is taking a sniff of ... those ears are a full time job ! 
I love those ears <3


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## faerie

(((hugs)))


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## Pup's mom

Wednesday we are seeing the surgeon to see about the removal of the cyst on his leg. He actually is showing improvement and I am hoping that it will not be necessary to operate at all. I am against any total anesthetic so we will see what they come up with.
Meanwhile, he had a great day today- very perky and we had a nice time brushing him out so he looks like a bear but a better groomed bear.
Here is his photo.
Look at those eyes ! I love his eyes .. golden / almost orange.


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## AnnieGirl

You and your pup are in my prayers. Take care.


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## littlestitches

What is causing the cyst? Is it a sebaceous cyst?

Paula


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## phrannie

*I have been riveted to this thread, from the first post to the last tonight...reading as tho it were a novel....aching with you one moment, rejoicing the next....

You have inspired me....truly....I've been on a 3 year journey with MoJo, but somewhere along the way, got caught up in the tomorrows, the "next weeks", fear and uncertainty managed to erode just having fun, and enjoying my pup. All that you have said....and said SO beautifully...has snapped me back into THIS day...giving me freedom to enjoy today, and booting out the fear of tomorrow...THANK YOU. I'm also leaving superstition at the doorstep (I can't believe how supersticious I've become...like not saying he's gone a certain length of time without a pee spell, for fear that it will bring one on...or have the temptation to click my heels together 3 times, and turn a circle when we try something new)...and I'm considered a mentally healthy person!! 

What MoJo has isn't as catastrophic as cancer...but the prognosis for a dog with his malady is only about a year (most dogs dying of kidney failure, or ruptured bladder)....he is still going after three years...still loving life...and with intensive caretaking, could go one for another three years...Vets don't know much about his injury/disease, so a lot of what we've done is experimental...

Tonite we went for our 9:00 walk, and enjoyed the hell out one another...(his favorite job is pointing out weeds, so I can pick them...he can find the smallest weeds in a big pasture...but he sees it as his duty to help me with this) .

Is it ok to post this pic of Moj pointing a weed for me? He's not a Poo, but he's going to end up being a big brother to a SP....and....I'm feeling light for the first time in a long time...*


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## Jessie's Mom

i think this post has been a lesson to all of us. just the courage that Pup's mom has had in candidly stating all that she was feeling, what she was going through, got to all of us. 

i think you said it beautifully. and your posting a pic of your wonder boy pointing out a weed is just so funny and so touching at the same time. 

well i hope we are all blessed with long lives for our furkids.


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## Pup's mom

When it was biopsied, it was called granular ... I always thought it was sebaceous, he has those all over , now and then but they go away .. this came up like a little ball under the skin and stayed ... and grew 

Oh phrannie, how kind and sweet you are ! 
First of all, I have learned , a long time ago, that there are few people in the world who are as big hearted and caring as Dog People. 
Poodle People have their own category  But it really applies to all breeds, when you live with and love your dog, nothing is more important, nothing makes as much difference in your life as the dog and its health and happiness.
You know when they are depressed, when something is bothering them, you are attuned to your dog as most parents are to their children.
It is not crazy and I think it is entirely normal. How can you live with an intelligent loving creature like one of these animals and not bond closely ?!

It has been with great relief and comfort that I have posted here and gotten such warm and open-hearted responses. Living in another country with no close friends or family, I turned to a group of people who I happen to have a great amount in common with, just because everyone lives a bit farther away doesn't change things. 
I get such great hugs and loving wishes here, I have been able to deal with things better and cope much better, knowing there are people who know how I feel, maybe know something about what is going on and can offer advice and at the very least, send a hug and I know we are not totally alone down here at the bottom of the world.

I go through every day so thankful he is alive and happy and not in pain and I have become an expert at pushing frightening thoughts of What If away.
I know that time has become very precious for us and I am in no way prepared for Life to change the way it will. 
I can only fight as hard as possible to keep things the same and not let him go yet.
My wish is still that he just drifts away in his sleep when he is very old , just as I would like to go myself.

And what a comfort it is for me to be able to come here for hugs.

Now about your Weed Pointer ... I grew up with German Shepherds, I think next to Poodles they are the best dogs ever.
They are so smart and loving and brave. 
He is so very beautiful, weeds stand no chance with him around !
Please give him hug from Pup and I and we will go through these uncertain days together, hanging on to all the hopes and pushing away all the sadness.

Thanks to everyone here reading this, for your kindness and lending me strength .. you don't know how much it means to us. muchas besos..


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## Jessie's Mom

ok, so Pup's mom, you said it so beautifully, again. 

for those of us who are in-tuned to our furkids and love them just like our human children, could sometimes considered to be a bit neurotic and crazy by others, lol, it is good to have this place or somewhere like it, that we could find solace and comfort and validation for the things we feel. there is strength in numbers and power in prayer, especially when it comes in such force. 

my hope for everyone who has a dog that has a challenge, i pray you always have the strength to do what needs to be done to keep them going, or let them go when the time is right; and for those who's pup has no current health issues, i hope we learn a priceless lesson about appreciation of the here and now. :amen:

ps: phrannie, your Mojo is beautiful. i love shephards!


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## Chagall's mom

The depth of feeling in this thread is palpable! It really is a privilege to have a dog to love, and to be able to share that love with others who feel it too. The inevitable sorrows of illness and loss come to us all, sooner or later. Having people standby us with understanding and empathy makes those sorrows more bearable.

Pup's life has proven to be an immense gift to so many of us! It's truly amazing how many hearts one beautiful poodle can touch. And his mother's heroism and resilience is a model for dog "parents" everywhere*. Phrannie's* journey too is another humbling reminder that dogs, of every breed, are a precious gift to us. Our wonderful dogs teach us that life is lived moment-by-moment. It comes with no ''guarantees," other than that a good dog enriches every second of it. All good wishes to those helping their dear dogs battle illness and enjoy one more day. My heart is with you.


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## Pup's mom

I can't think of anything to say but thank you .. here is Pup, doing what he does so well ... sniffing every blade of grass in the park .. he has had a great day today .. lots of fresh air and a good long walk and now we are snug at home as the sun sets and we snuggle in for the night.
I am not sure if we are having a cloudy day or if it is ash from the volcano in Chile, but it is a good evening for staying in and snuggling with a Pup. 
Who will loll on his bed and roll over so I can brush his belly and maybe wash those smelly feet ! 
He smells surprisingly good for an unwashed doggie .. It has been months since his last grooming and the only way it shows is his hairiness 
hugs to you all from the Pup and me ~


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## phrannie

*Just checking in to see how Pup is doing....looks like he's doing just fine!! I can't tell you enough, how your story has changed my outlook....it's simple, but sometimes not easy (like I have to do self-talk first...but tomorrow will be 4 days)...Moj and I are having fun....real fun...getting lost in the tomorrows was affecting him, perhaps more than it affected me. Dogs are SO savvy...so intuitive... 

I'll be checking in regularily....Pup is really a beautiful dog....inside and out...

p*


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## Pup's mom

Thank you phrannie <3
We are all muddling along, doing the best we can. I cannot allow myself to think far into the future, I concentrate on the day to day good things.
He is acting very much his old self and the only sign of a problem is the ever present bandage on his leg .. we go to the vet again today to see how the cyst is doing .. hopefully going away .
I cannot allow myself to think about the future or even a month from now, every day is a gift and we are taking all the gifts we can.
Just try to concentrate on the day ... don't look forward, just soak up every day of love and dogginess that you can.
I remind myself when I spend too much time on other things ( internet ) that he won't be here forever and that is my priority .. spending whatever time we have left .. together.
much love,


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## Cleo101

I have been reading this thread all day today and let me tell U, I am a crying mess...I know there arent words that I can say to ease ur heart or concerns, but I just wanted to let U know that I am thinking of U and Pup and will continue to pray for him and U....I will be getting a 2 yr old mini poodle in about a month from my mom...and I hope that I can have a relationship with her like U have had with Pup....I love animals of all kinds, my friends say my house is a petting zoo (even tho I only have cats and dogs)...U are a `VERY`strong woman, and Pup is "VERY" lucky to have a momma like U....

xx Heather


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## Pup's mom

Thank you Heather .. I cry every time I read the responses on here ! A weepy mess we all are !
Pup and I are waiting for the vet to call and say to come on over.. bandage / sugar changing time. He has been more his old self each day, I am thankful for every minute!
Here are some photos of Pup from the past .. we started out in NJ , went to Fl, went to Or and ended up here in Buenos Aires..
He seems to enjoy travel and meeting new people quite a lot .. he has made our easing into a new country and society of people who speak another language much easier. We cannot walk down the street without being stopped so they can pet him, kiss him , talk to us about him.
There are no Standard Poodles in Buenos Aires .. so he is quite the star as we take our walks. He must be in photo albums all over the world, every tourist here takes his photo too


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## Pup's mom

And yet another visit to the Vet !
This is what the vet did :
She unwrapped the bandage, washed the sugar off with saline and we could all see that everything is healing beautifully ! Smaller, much less blood, liquid but that is expected and flatter , no dead skin, nothing bad.
Then she sugared him again and rewrapped with lots of gauze to soak up the liquid that is coming .. which is a good thing. She will come in on Sunday if we need her or we can wait until Monday which is some kind of holiday here. She is the best vet we have ever had.

And this is what she said:

Be happy.
He is well right now. His leg is much better, he is doing well.
Be happy.
So of course, I cried 

She said he smells so good because he is healthy, his skin is good, he is in good shape. We all enjoyed this visit a lot , well, Pup wasn't that thrilled with it all but it did wonders for my husband and myself.

We went straight to the park where Pup had his usual serious time of sniffing followed by the usual followed by a brisk walk home. It is cold, raw and damp out, winter is sneaking in and I am wishing we had a fireplace in our apartment. 
But there is a big fat bed from Orvis that I bought 12 years ago for a certain young puppy who still snuggles up on it every day and watches tv or listens to music with us.. so we are all snug and comfy and will have a good weekend.

I wish all of you the same.
New photos coming soon ... red bandage and all 
besitos


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## littlestitches

Hearing such good news makes my day happier.

Paula


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## Cleo101

I am sooooooo happy that he is having a better day....I follow ur thread on this because U are such a loving person towards ur Pup, I wish there were more people like U and I who loved their pet as much as they love their children...I hope U have a wonderful weekend and keep being strong for Pup

xx Heather


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## Jessie's Mom

thank you, Pup's mom, for baring your heart and soul to each of us. i love reading this thread and i hope you know you have an extended family all over the world who waits for your next post. we are family, if not by blood, but by our love of our poodles.

_*the soul of a poodle cannot be matched; look into their eyes and see the depth & humbleness of their spirit.*_


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## Pup's mom

*Happy Birthday Pup !!*

Today is the 12th birthday of my Pup .. :cheers2:
He just went to the vet to have his leg checked, his bandage changed and to get lots of kisses and treats for the Birthday Boy ! resent:He is doing well... very well. He is acting more and more like my boy, he runs, he is silly, he has his sense of humor again and he eats like an animal .. really.. an animal. He has not been groomed in so long, he looks like an animal. shocking !
So everyone, this is your excuse to have a glass of champagne or whatever your celebratory choice of drink is and wish Tate , my Pup, a Happy Birthday and a Long Long Healthy Life !!
:cake:


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## CT Girl

Pup looks great - very happy like he knows it is his special day. I will raise my glass to you both and hope you enjoy many more years together.


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## Jessie's Mom

to tate and his mom and the rest of his human family:

jessie and her family want to wish you the happiest birthday ever :birthday: !! we wish you many more years of happiness and love :hug:

thank you for letting us be part of your life :grouphug:

love,
jessie and ann marie (jessie's mom)


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## fjm

Happy Birthday Tate - and wishing you many more happy times to come.


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## schpeckie

Happy Birthday Tate! A wonderful road to recovery and more years to come! Thanks Pups mom for keeping us posted! Hugs & Kisses from Sylvia, Lacey & Sadie!


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## CelticKitti

Happy Birthday Tate!! Kodi, Mia and Hanna the foster will be celebrating your birthday with you!


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## Cleo101

"Happy 12th Birthday Pup"!!!!!!

I am so glad he is doing so well, makes me smile


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## Chagall's mom

*Happy 12th Birthday to Tate! *And oh how happy I am to be saying those words!! If ever there was a day to celebrate, this is it!!

So glad to be part of the party!! In his honor, there will be red wine and chocolates after dinner tonight at my house, for those with two legs, and a nice marrow bone for those with four. All good wishes for many, many more happy celebrations with your dear Pup!


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## Pup's mom

Thank you for all the sweet birthday wishes for Tate, he loved every one of them and so did I !
He had a good birthday and has been celebrating ever since, he is just like me, shameless when it comes to reasons for getting presents and partying.
He has been having a hard time getting rid of the cyst that broke on his left foreleg ( or his arm as his sweet vet calls it ) and he is finally showing great improvement with that. She has done everything to avoid another surgery... the Sugar treatment works !
Pink clean skin is growing and no infection, although he is on honkin big antibiotics for 2 weeks and little pills to keep his stomach from just falling apart with all the drugs in it.
So far, he has gained back any lost weight, has lots of energy and is his old silly self. You know what a great sense of humor a Poodle has , well, he is just goofy every day. 
There is a God and He loves Poodles ! _:angel:_ 
It has been really cold here for the past few days so we are keeping our park walks shorter but he has some new toys to keep him busy and I get him crazy with some old toy and he runs around and then has to take a nap.
I have no idea how much time we have together, who does? but every day is a gift and I try to concentrate on the day to day rather than thinking about next month etc. It works so far 
Enjoy your holiday weekend, stay safe ! Besos to you and your pups..


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## Rowan

Happy birthday to Tate! I'm so glad he's feeling better--he's such a beautiful color.  Here's to many years more years together.


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## Jessie's Mom

first, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TATE !! :birthday:. next, i want to say that i am so happy he is still doing well. may he continue like this for several years to come.

and, lastly, i want to say, none of us ever know how much time we have with our precious pups. just this week chocolate millie told me about a litter mate of millie's who died. they are only a year and a half old (or something very young like that). so you never, ever know. each one of us has to remember to cherish the moments with our pups. 

we pray that God continue to bless Tate and you and give you many more wonderful days together. :amen:


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## Pup's mom

Big hugs and lots of love to all of you, you are so sweet and kind !

Someone had a fast bit of fun in the park today- it is freezing cold and windy.
He is now napping ( by my side of course) in a patch of sun coming in through the french doors .. he is warm as toast !

Here is Pup, coming home from the vet , with the cigar she gave him for being such a good boy.


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

Happy, happy birthday to a sweet boy! You have become quite the celebrity around young man, and have won over a lot of hearts. Many blessings!


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## CharismaticMillie

Pup's mom said:


> Big hugs and lots of love to all of you, you are so sweet and kind !
> 
> Someone had a fast bit of fun in the park today- it is freezing cold and windy.
> He is now napping ( by my side of course) in a patch of sun coming in through the french doors .. he is warm as toast !
> 
> Here is Pup, coming home from the vet , with the cigar she gave him for being such a good boy.


Happy birthday, handsome! Millie has a BIG crush on Pup, but I told her he's way outta her league!!


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## Chagall's mom

That adorable photo of Tate doing the play bow is something to cherish! In my heart I bow to your lovely Pup for the lessons he continues to teach us; take one day at a time, make good and happy use of every moment you can, and show appreciation to those who love and care for you. He does it all, and more! Hearing his weight and spirits are up, and his wound is healing nicely, is such great news. Instead of a bow, how about I do a cartwheel in his honor? If I could, I would, but for now I continue to wish him and you the very best.


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## Pup's mom

Oh, thank you so much !!
 Another photo following this .


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## Pup's mom

*Happy*

Cartwheels will do just fine .. send photos !


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## Chagall's mom

Doing my morning stretches, cartwheel to follow! lol!! Hope you and Tate have a great week.


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## Pup's mom

Happy 4th of July !
Pup and I


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## CT Girl

Pup looks great. It is great to see him so happy doing his play bow and stretches. The last one looks like he is saying "Really Mom, another picture?". I love it, keep the pictures coming.


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## phrannie

*Just checking in to see how Pup is doing....glad to hear he's doing very well, and that his cyst is starting to heal...Gooooood boy, PUP!! 

phrannie *


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## Pup's mom

Thank you phrannie ! 
We are just counting the days until we can keep that bandage off of his leg and give him a bath !!
I brush him but he needs a cut and a blow out lol.


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## Pup's mom

There once was a Pup named Tate
Who loved to play with his .... mom lol ... I am not so good at writing limericks ..


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## Pup's mom

Today in the park with Pup.
It is Winter here but the sun came out and it was not so cold. He was full of himself, hiding, chasing, asking me to chase him ..


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## Pup's mom

Tate has not had a good couple of days and I am afraid that things won't get better. He is comfortable and not in any pain that we know of ... but he is weaker and seems to be showing signs of heart failure.
My wish is that he will bounce back again .. and again and again.

If only wishes come true !


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## littlestitches

I am so sorry, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers

Paula


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## Jessie's Mom

pup's mom, i'm so bad at handling these things, especially when you looking into the eyes of your pup and know how they trust you and look towards you for comfort. but, i'm going to say something from my head, not my heart and that is, don't forget to stay in the moment. did you call the vet? maybe it is something else that could be causing him to be this way? heart failure? i had a dog i kept alive for almost 2 years who had heart failure. there are meds that reduce the fluid. with the fluid gone, tate might be able to breath better and he will bounce back, even just a little.

i'm not saying to not be realistic, but don't let your fear cloud your common sense. if the diagnosis is something serious and the prognosis is not good, then you will have plenty of time to mourn. right now, remember, he picks up on your energy, all dogs do. let your energy be calming for him. and let the vet give you the answers.

please let us know what the vet says.


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## Pup's mom

Pup is losing his hind legs. He was walking then his legs just went out from under him .. he could not get back up.
Try carrying a full size, full grown Standard Poodle on a city street. Charge admission if you do.
The vet just left, she said to stop taking the heart meds ( Lotrial) and she took some blood. We are hoping that the cancer did not go to his heart.
But he coughs a funny little dry cough , then his legs give out.
I have spent the day, trying not to sob. I was not altogether successful ... the fact that the vet cried too did not help.
She is the most soft hearted empathetic vet I have ever come across, anywhere, ever !
So that is where we are right now= she took some blood, she told us how to manage him with the peeing if he has trouble standing.
My heart is breaking.:love-over:


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## Pup's mom

Jessies Mom, thank you so much ... yes, I will continue to tell him what a good boy he is and make him smile. and yes, I will refuse to let the thoughts enter that have anything to do with "bad stuff" .. 
He is on his bed in the living room, we will eat dinner in there with him .. he sleeps by my side of the bed, who knows, I might sleep next to him 
Thank you... besos !


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

OHHHH...I am so sorry! I hope Tate rallies, but if he doesn't, you can rest easy knowing you did everything humanly possible for him. My heart is breaking for you. Mt pain from losing Thinker at thirteen is still pretty raw. And when I saw that last photo, I felt as though I was looking into His eyes again. My thoughts are with you.


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## Cleo101

I am so sorry  to hear about this, it just breaks my heart..I hope he gets better soon..Please keep us all posted and I will be saying a little pray for him tonight


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## mulligan

Sending positive healing thoughts and energy to you both. Let him know you love him. its the best you can do, its the best he needs.


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## Rowan

I'm so sorry to hear about Tate, and I'm tearing up as I write this. I lost two seniors within a year and a half of each other, and it still breaks my heart to think about them. But then I remember the happy times and I watch video clips of my boys and I can't help but smile. 

I'm relatively new here, but you seem like an incredibly warm, caring and giving person and I know you've given Tate everything he could want and more. He'll let you know when it's time. Cherish every moment--sleep on the floor with him or let him up on the bed. Tell him how much you loved him from the first moment you saw him, and just let him hear your comforting voice. They understand us (I'm confident that they do). He really has the most adorable face and expressive eyes. 

I too hope Tate rallies but when the time comes, the most important thing for Tate is that _you're _with him (because you're his world). And he'll be the one carrying you...


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## CT Girl

My heart goes out to you. ((Hugs))


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## Pup's mom

Tonight, after a nap, Tate rallied some. He is being silly. He walked outside with no wobbles and has been playing with a chewy.
The vet called and said that if he couldn't make it over in the morning, she would come to us.
I have high hopes that he will be more himself tomorrow.. well, you know me by now, I have high hopes ... I cannot imagine life without him, so I won't think about it ..

Thank you all for your support and your sweet messages. I know where to come when I need to pour my heart out to someone (s) who know exactly how I feel .. thank you so very much.


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## Jessie's Mom

Pup's mom, can this be not related to his cancer at all? it wasn't so long ago that they said his cancer was confined and removed. i don't know how aggressive his cancer could be or not be. i'm just thinking, why couldn't these new symptoms be something else. 

please encourage the vet to do some exploring just to see if it is something else. and about his heart, why did she tell you to stop the heart medication? why was he on heart medication to begin with? just interesting that she stopped the heart medication and he rallied a bit...

maybe i'm just being overly optimistic along with you. difference is, i'm several degrees removed so i, as well as others on this forum, can think and analyze this a bit clearer.

so insist the vet do some digging....please keep us posted

love, hugs, and kisses
ann marie and jessie


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## spoospirit

_I'm so sorry to hear that pup is not in good health again. 

You and he have been so much together over the past few months. I have read through the entire thread and it is obvious that you have done everything you could possible do to keep pup well and happy. You are very strong and a positive thinking person. I am sure you will continue to keep hoping for him.

I will keep you and pup in my prayers._


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## fjm

My thoughts are with you - I hope it is not as bad as you fear, but if the time really is at hand, you know that you and your wonderful vet will help him to slip away kindly and gently, that he has shared love, life and happiness with you in the best life a dog can have, and that we hold you in our hearts, now and in the months to come.

Fxx


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## Pup's mom

Good morning. 
Tate (and I) slept all night with no roaming or signs of discomfort and I am encouraged ( by any small sign )..
Ann Marie, he has hemangiosarcoma (a cancer that travels through his blood) , his organs are the likeliest targets. Heart being at the top of the list. 
They found a heart murmur when he was first diagnosed with the mass on his spleen, while doing sonograms and cardiograms. 
He was taking Lotrial .. I think there is the hope that one of his symptoms was because the Lotrial was adversely affecting him, we stopped it. ( Hope being that it was the drug and not the cancer starting in his heart )
It was sudden, he was happy and perky one day, slow and pitiful the next .. last night he rallied some .. he slept all night and I have high hopes that he will be much more his old self today.
Aside from the fact that he has no spleen and is 12 years old, I think he is doing pretty well, he was strong and healthy all his life and I think that is working for him now. 
We will see the vet today, let her see how he is doing. If he feels like walking to her office ( 2 blocks away) or she said she will come here. But I am encouraged by his good nights sleep and the fact that he came out to the hall, blanket draped over him, dragging behind and plopped down in his favorite spot in the hall ( outside of the door to this room where he can watch my every move 

spoospirit, thank you, big hugs !
fjm, Thank you .. I hope it is not as bad as I fear also !
Thank you so very much for being there for me .. I will let you know if anything changes.


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## littlestitches

Tate is such a remarkable dog.

thank you for the update
Paula


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## Rowan

Pup's mom said:


> ...
> Ann Marie, he has hemangiosarcoma (a cancer that travels through his blood) , his organs are the likeliest targets. Heart being at the top of the list.
> They found a heart murmur when he was first diagnosed with the mass on his spleen, while doing sonograms and cardiograms.
> He was taking Lotrial .. I think there is the hope that one of his symptoms was because the Lotrial was adversely affecting him, we stopped it. ( Hope being that it was the drug and not the cancer starting in his heart )
> It was sudden, he was happy and perky one day, slow and pitiful the next .. last night he rallied some .. he slept all night and I have high hopes that he will be much more his old self today.
> ...


Oh, Pup's Mom--I'm so _very _sorry. I didn't realize Tate had hemangiosarcoma. (I lost Lord Byron to that form of cancer and it was devastating.) For those who aren't familiar with hemangiosarcomas: it's "an aggressive, malignant tumor of blood vessel cells. With the exception of the skin form of hemangiosarcoma, a diagnosis of hemangiosarcoma is serious. Because these tumors start in blood vessels, they are frequently filled with blood and when a blood-filled tumor ruptures, it can cause problems with internal or external bleeding." There are usually no or very few symptoms until the tumor actually ruptures. I was lucky in that Lord Byron went to the vet every month due to his age and the fact he was a senior rescue and we found his tumor before it ruptured.

Lord Byron was diagnosed on a Friday night and I had to say goodbye to him the following Monday night. I spent every minute of the entire weekend with him. 

You will both be in my thoughts and I'll send positive energy your way.


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## Chagall's mom

*Pup's Mom:* Please know those of us who've been following you and Tate on this journey continue to carry you in our hearts, and hold out hope along with you for more time together. When I think of sweet Tate, bleary-eyed from sleep, with his blanket hooded over his head, or sniffing around merrily in the park, I know he lives enveloped in love. I know you treasure him with all your heart. I can scarcely begin to imagine how difficult things must be for you at times. I hope knowing he is spared the fear you unfortunately are not, and lives happily each and every moment, fortifies you as you deal with what you must. I'll be hoping to hear he has another good day filled with all the pleasures due a wonderful poodle, and others to follow. Thinking of you!


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## CelticKitti

Pup's mom. My thoughts are with you in such a tough time. 

I'll share a bit of my knowledge that hopefully will help you understand a little more about what's going on. Lotrial can cause a dry cough. It is one of it's side effects that comes about from the way the medication works. The side effect does not always occur and can happen at any time while on the medication (even after two years). While I'm not your vet, it may be one reason she stopped the medication. Heart failure can also cause a cough. Did stopping the medication help the cough? I know you said he appears more stable on his feet. 

Give Tate a big hug from his poodle friends here in the states. We hope today is a good day and he's feeling better.


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## Pup's mom

Thank you so much Paula.

Rowan, his tumor ( actually 2 ) were enveloping his spleen, so everything came out. He had not metastasized at that time and his other organs were clear.
It has been 2 months. We knew that it was a matter of time, until he died of old age, or the cancer came back in another organ. We were so glad he recovered so quickly and well, signs that he was in excellent shape, aside from his age and having had cancer / his spleen removed.
The vet will come over today and check on him, we are keeping him close to home and little exercise. He is actually cheerful (when not sleeping) and seems comfortable.
Thank you so much for your comments and all that positive energy !

Chagalls Mom , you made me cry again 
I have pretty much stopped everything I was doing or planned to do, to stay in the house with him and just be with him every minute. For as long as we have together... after that is unimaginable.

CelticKitti ! thanks so much for that information !
I stopped all meds yesterday ( vet suggestion) and he is only taking his vitamin tonic . I just stopped it yesterday so we will see about the cough, but since they had already said he had a murmur, I don't know if the cough is here to stay or what. We walked downstairs for him to have a little pee and he was perky and fine, but he took a nap as soon as we got in. 
That might be boredom too as I was doing something else.
I took a couple of photos of him, I will post later.. I was sitting looking out the French doors, he came and looked too.... never one to miss out if something is happening ! 
I gave him your hug , thank you.


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## CharismaticMillie

Pup's mom, I'm not the best with words but I just want you to know that I am following this thread closely and have you and Tate in my thoughts!


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## Pup's mom

Oh Millie, those were the Best of Words ~
Thank you !

Does anyone know if diarrhea is common after a cortisone shot ?
Pup suddenly has this problem and the only new thing in his life is that shot he got yesterday . He is not taking anything now, no heart pills, no antibiotics, nada.
Thanks ...


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## Yaddaluvpoodles

Tears... and hugs from me too.

I haven't been following this thread, selfishly, cause it's a heartbreaker.

Will he take some acidophyllus, or some pumpkin to help control the diarrhea? Just a thought, probably already suggested.

Gonna go get that kleenex now.


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## Pup's mom

We are waiting for the vet to arrive .. she will take a sample and give him an antibiotic shot. Can't give him anything to stop the diarrhea until she knows what germs are in there, being spleen-less and all.
She doubts it was the cortisone shot though, says it is rare but she will find out tonight.
By tomorrow the right meds will be here .. 

Thank you ... I would be the happiest person in the world if I could write a happy ending to this tear jerker 
I should own stock in Kleenex ~


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## papoodles

Dear Pup's mom,
Yours was the first thread I read when I stumbled upon the forum in March, having just lost my own boy to spleen cancer, and needing to know everything I could about the illness, I searched and searched for answers.
There were none, but I took comfort in the fact that your PUP was still with you, still happily loving life, and so that was a vicarious joy for me, and I could dry my tears because I would smile with you.
And every day, as soon as I came home, I would run to check for updates as I so wanted there to be good news..and I am still hoping that more good things are in store for Pup.
Thank you for sharing his journey with us. I think that I can safely say that now Pup belongs to all of us- he is firmly embedded in our hearts.
Dolores in NJ .. where did you live in the Garden State, Pup's mom?


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## Pup's mom

Oh Delores, how kind you are ! Thank you and I am so sorry for your loss.
We lived in Tenafly. 
Sometimes I really miss that house, especially since Pup has been sick .. that was his first home 
We brought him home the day before Hurricane Floyd hit .. that tiny puppy went out in the yard with me to pee... not once in his life has he ever had an accident in the house. And he was housebroken in a hurricane lol.
He has had a bad stomach today, the vet sent her tech over this evening and he got a shot of antibiotic and something for his stomach.
Tomorrow we will see what the cause is and she can give him something if he still needs it . Thank you so much for your comments.. I feel like I am getting big hugs every day ~


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## Gorky

I have been reading this thread since the beginning. My heart goes out to you and I hope he is with you a little longer. I get all teary thinking of your pup and memories of the loss of our spoo Gorky comes flooding back to me.


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## schpeckie

I too have been following this thread, and I am so sorry about Pup. It brings tears to my eyes typing this, knowing how you are feeling and that we are here can relate to your sadness on pup's illness. Sending prayers and hugs to you from Sylvia, Sadie and Lacey.


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## Jessie's Mom

Pup's mom said:


> Good morning.
> Tate (and I) slept all night with no roaming or signs of discomfort and I am encouraged ( by any small sign )..
> Ann Marie, he has hemangiosarcoma (a cancer that travels through his blood) , his organs are the likeliest targets.


pup's mom, i'm so sorry. i must've missed that part of this thread. i didn't realize that was the type of cancer he had. i thought his cancer was confined. i'm sorry for the misunderstanding. 

my heart, thoughts, and prayers are with you and Tate. even though not all that happens to him is necessarily a sign that his cancer has returned, it is difficult for you not to think it all the time. i know. i would be the same way. but just always remember, there is always a chance that every little change is not because of his cancer and could be from something else. well, that is what i pray for you and him, anyway.

please give him a hug and kiss from me, and a lick from jessie. i, too, like everyone else here, follow this thread and look forward to a miracle ending or no ending for a long time to come, which is a miracle, too.


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## papoodles

Hi Pup's mom, 
I am not near Tenafly but I do know where it is- If I lived closer I'd ask my husband to take pictures of your former home for you- but you have such vivid happy memories that you probably don't need a visual jog. 
Your PUP reminds me of my beloved Zach- he was a gentleman to the end. NO accidents in the house, not ever, not even on his last days. And on his last night with us, he and I slept fitfully on the living room floor. It was the night of the long goodbye..
I live in Randolph, which is near to Morristown.
How is PUP today? Hoping and praying that he can enjoy another today without discomfort, and that you and he will share mucho bussis (?)


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## Pup's mom

Thank you so much for all of your kind words, you cyber hugs and love.
The vet called to say that his anemia that is a little elevated is due to the cancer returning .. we don't know where yet or how long we have .
He is in pretty good shape today, cheerful and silly. Walking around the house, trailing his blanket like Caesars ghost ! with his tail holding up the back like a little flag.
We went to the park and he saw the mounted police horses, he loves horses ! Want to hear Tate yodel ? show him a horse.
But today, he just wanted to say hello, but it was raining so we all scurried back home, where he is now lying , under his blanket ( he has had this blanket for years !) and napping.
I will block out all thoughts of loss and saying goodbye, I cannot deal with that yet .. right now we are going to do a spectacular job of thinking that he is better right now and that is all that is important.
My heart is breaking .


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## fjm

Sending hugs for all of you. Fx


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## Chagall's mom

My heart is breaking for you! Never, ever do we want the time to come. Waiting for it is sheer agony, back-lit with the hope that drives all humans. I wish I lived nearby, if you allowed me I'd be by your side and not leave until.... Your immense sadness is a genuine reflection of your deep and abiding love for Tate. I have thought to myself during times of impending loss the burden is too great, but I always come to believe the privilege of love is worth the high cost. Sending you much understanding, wishes for calm and comfort as you can manage to find it. I hug you and Tate in my thoughts.


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## Rowan

I can't say it any better than Chagall's Mom: _I have thought to myself during times of impending loss the burden is too great, but I always come to believe the privilege of love is worth the high cost. _

Every dog comes into our lives for a reason--we don't pick them, they pick us. Tate picked you for a reason and he picked well. 

You're in our thoughts. Hang in there. 

xoxo


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## Ruth

I don't know what to say, but I'm keeping you in my thoughts as well, sending many hugs and good wishes for Pup, you and your family!


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## papoodles

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxo


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## Pup's mom

Thank you so much. I wish I were nearby also .. it would definitely be a great help.
We are going to just take each day as it comes and treasure our time together.. nothing will make any of this any less painful. I cannot imagine life without him, I want to remember how he feels , so soft and his hair is so long now. He has turned into a giant stuffed pup .. warm and soft and snugly.
I caught him napping, in the doorway to the living room, he can see down the hall, you can't sneak past that pup !


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## Chagall's mom

I just know his dreams are as sweet as he is. And I'm sure he dreams of you. I hope you can get rest.


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## Pup's mom

*Tate*


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## Dallasminis

Dear, dear Pup! He is so funny with his blanket...how wonderful that he has such love with you...and you with him...every day and every moment so special ...enjoy him now . We are sending love your way...thank you for sharing these moments...


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## CT Girl

My heart is breaking for you. ((Hugs))


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## papoodles

Pup's mom- Tate looks as though he is staring right into one's soul-but with SUCH love and devotion.
Who would want to disappoint such a dog?
He is so special.


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## Pup's mom

*Laughing Crying Laughing*

We had errands to run today, the housekeeper was coming so we knew we could leave Tate for a couple of hours ..
I got busy and noticed that my phone had 2 missed calls ... from the vet.
We got home and I called.. figuring she was asking about him ( she calls and checks on him every single day) and asking to bring him in so she can look at the cyst ( that is finally going away)..

She said that they got more results on his blood work.
His Red Blood Cells are rejuvenating !!!
The anemia is from the cancer, but his bone marrow is still fighting , he has increased his red blood cells !!!!!

He is getting some new vitamins and something for his liver .. those numbers were a bit high.

And then she finished what she was saying with, "So, we have more time with Tate .."
Then I cried, then she cried.. then I laughed.
I am a mess. But Tate is sitting here smiling at me and that is all that matters.

Attached photo is a couple of weeks old but I love that face


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## Gorky

Hooray! I am so glad. Please give Tate a big hug from me and one hug for you as well.


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## Ruth

That's great news! You made me laugh and cry too. 

He's happy and I hope you feel a bit more relieved. Many many hugs for you both!!


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## CelticKitti

I can't read your updates without tears. You can tell how strong your relationship is with Tate through you posts. I'm hurting for you. I am so glad Tate's RBC are coming back up!! Give Tate a snuggle for me. That face is too cute.


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## fjm

Wonderful news - what an amazing dog he is!


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## Pup's mom

We got Tate in 1999 .. my children were out of the nest and off on their own pursuits and we had this big house and yard .. it seemed to make sense to get a dog. He was the perfect puppy, never having one mistake in the house, only trouble he got into was stealing a sock then throwing it up in the middle of the night. ... you all know that sound, you can be in the deepest sleep and waking up instantly to that retching noise a dog / puppy makes ... leaving a soggy but completely whole !! sock on the carpet.
Did I mention it was only black socks that he preferred .. even at that young an age, he had fashion sense ..
He and I were together on September 11, 2001, when the world changed .. we walked over to a little church nearby and sat in the garden, just Tate and I..waiting for my husband to get home, waiting to see if our friends husbands would come home.. he has always been my comfort.
We decided to move a few years later and Tate took his first long ( he had been on trips to the Berkshires, Long Island etc) but this trip was to Florida where we bought a house. A huge house (ridiculous for 2 people and a pup) and a huge yard. Where we all ended up staying inside with the a/c looking out at the yard.. We visited Oregon in that time and decided that we might like to live there, so we packed up the house and sent it off in a truck, then the husband, Pup and I, climbed into our trusty little car and set out across the USA.
It was a fabulous trip, he slept in La Quinta hotels on that trip, 5 nights, only one hotel (Tenn) was not that great. We walked into the hotels, told them we needed a room for 2 people and a dog and it never failed, the upgraded us.. that boy doesn't know from hotel rooms, only suites !
And he loved Portland Oregon !
Everyone likes dogs, they can go shopping, he loved Nordstroms, he got to stay with us at outdoor cafes, bakeries, happy hours all summer. In the winter he got wet .. and we got to drive to the beach, which he liked ok but I think the water moving the way it did (towards him) freaked him out a bit.
Then we got the idea of living in Argentina.
We flew to Buenos Aires 4 years ago and have lived here very happily.
Until this happened.
Now I don't look too far into the future, I quit talking about moving anywhere else.. how Tate would love a house in the woods or living in Paris .. now we just make sure he is comfortable and happy here, at home. 
For as long as we can, this adventure will still be the 3 of us


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## Chagall's mom

*Pup's Mom:* I'm so happy to hear your good news about Tate's RBC rebounding! He really is a special fellow, and the way you write about his life with you is quite special too. Have you ever thought of writing "Tate's Memoirs"? He's simply too good not share. I'm glad he's feeling better right now, so you can too. Gosh, if I were one of your kids I would NEVER have left the nest--so many great travel opportunities and places to live, I'd want a piece of that action! Glad Tate got to enjoy it all with you.


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## Pup's mom

Chagalls Mom, thank you so much !
My son got a job right out of college that gave him the opportunity to spend a few years traveling around the world .. he has been to every state in the US and all of Europe and lived in Japan and has visited Thailand and Nepal and India and Bali. 
When I grow up, I want to be just like him !
There have been thoughts on books about Tates Travels .. but I never feel I can do him justice .. but thank you so very much for such a lovely compliment !


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## Pup's mom

What is more fun than brushing an overgrown Poodle ?
Why, making him look funny !!

Meet Tate, the Punk Poodle ... got a nice mohawk going there ..


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## Ruth

Punk Tate is really cute! And he doesn't seem to mind, so...


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## Pup's mom

He saw me coming with the brush and he just lay there, limp noodle poodle.
Then when I started with the mohawk, I started to giggle, he got all happy and was pleased with the results lol...
I took a bunch of photos and he finally got tired of it all and just lay down.
prima donna


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## Ruth

Awwwwww!! I can just picture that, how cute!


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## Chagall's mom

Pup's mom said:


> He saw me coming with the brush and he just lay there, limp noodle poodle.
> Then when I started with the mohawk, I started to giggle, he got all happy and was pleased with the results lol...
> I took a bunch of photos and he finally got tired of it all and just lay down.
> prima donna


*Pup's mom:* You just _have to_ write that book!!


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## papoodles

*I am so happy !*

Pup's mom- so glad that you have happy news to share!
And definitely, write that book- maybe it will rival Steinbeck's"Travels With Charley"


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## Pup's mom

Thank you so much ... I admit to playing with the idea but can't seem to get it together .. My husband says it will just work one day 

Today has been good. I have a bad throat and I am huddled on the sofa and Pup has his bed by the sofa and he is huddled with his new bone.
(slimy rawhide chewy thing that I hate but he loves them)..

I am trying to figure out how to attach a small video of Tate and the Bone .. to be continued


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## Chagall's mom

Hope your throat feels better soon, *Pup's mom*! As for writing that book*, it doesn't have to be so daunting. You can begin perhaps just by speaking your thoughts into a tape recorder, whenever you feel like it. I am proud to say FOUR of my friends have published at least one book, and it all begins with a passion and _one word_. I'm going to "dog" you about this, and heck, I'll pre-order 50 copies! Glad Tate is enjoying his slimy chewie. I always consider it proof of our great love that we allow our dogs to eat/chew such yucky things in our presence!!

_*p.s. You can always start by writing short essays or short stories!!_


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## Pup's mom

Today has been a great day.
My throat is better, due to good antibiotics ( that you can buy over the counter in Buenos Aires) .. and Tate has had a fabulous day !
I slept through the night and I think he did too.
He woke silly and playful and it has continued through the day. Tonight he has been playing tug of war with his blanket, attacking his chewy bone and generally being a silly poodle .. I have to jump up and run over to him and hug him and tell him how much I love him.
It has been pouring rain all day, so you know how I spent the day. 
I stayed in, my sweet husband walked him. I waited at the door with 2 towels and a blow dryer. 
Tate has not been groomed in months .. he is a bear. 
I towel dry him, blow dry him and by the time we are through, it is time for him to go pee again lol.
Tonight he had a fit of energy and attacked his blanket, pounced on the thing, slid all over the place, growled at it and dragged it to bed, where he has probably fallen asleep with it.
Tomorrow he sees the vet for his every other day check.
She sends me text messages, asking how he is .. sending us besitos.
Tate loves her. I love her. Who wouldn't love her ?!
My husband says he agrees with you about the book, but when I think of writing on purpose, my mind goes blank.
I have to have someone to tell my story to, so maybe if I pretend I am writing to you all, it will flow .. we will see... thank you so much for allowing me to be able to talk to you here, to cry and be comforted, to share our saga.. we are very thankful.. Pup too


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## CharismaticMillie

Pup's mom said:


> I have to have someone to tell my story to, so maybe if I pretend I am writing to you all, it will flow .. we will see... thank you so much for allowing me to be able to talk to you here, to cry and be comforted, to share our saga.. we are very thankful.. Pup too


Of course.  And if you do write that book, I will be first in line to purchase a copy! Or ten!


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## Jessie's Mom

just did my catch-up reading from the last couple of days. thought i was going to go to bed crying, but instead i'm going to bed smiling. so happy that pup has rallied and i just hope he rallies for a long time to come. 

my heart goes out to you. i admire you for your courage and your wonderful way of portraying your beautiful tate. your love for him can be felt across the oceans through your words. i'm sure he feels it boundless amount more when he is quietly sitting next to you. i really think your love is the wind beneath his wings - gives him the reason to fight to be better.


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## Chagall's mom

What a joy to hear Tate had such a good, playful day! Now I too can go to sleep happy, right after I walk Chagall. And about that book, *Pup's Mom,* you've already pre-sold us on it so you MUST write it!! We'll help!! We'll be your first draft readers and first several hundred paying customers. Glad you're feeling better, hope the rain stops!


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## Pup's mom

*Promises*

Here is my promise to you all.
IF I ever write a book about Tate and Everything ... you will all get a book.
You will not go out and buy one, I will have them sent to you. It is little enough Thank you for being there for me, when I have poured my heart out and gotten nothing but sympathy and kindness in return.
That is worth the world to me ..and Tate .. who bounced down the block to the park and scurried home with his dad because it is really cold out there today !
He is now napping in the living room, rolled up in his blanket ... 

Talk to you later when we come back from the vet ... besitos !


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## Pup's mom

*Tate through the years*

Florida, Oregon, and Buenos Aires ( I have no NY/NJ photos on this computer)


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## papoodles

*Poodle Forum Friends*

No, Pup's mom- not an offer one can accept
I would be honored to buy Pup's biography and share it with my friends and family..what a wonderful heartfelt read it would be.
But- I have an idea..what if - in your book-you just add a teeny tiny line of dedication to all the lovely friends who have walked with you through this challenging time?
Your PFF support group ?
xoxoxoxxoo


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## Pup's mom

Absolutely ... this book is dedicated to the most warm and thoughtful, kind and generous people in the world ... my Poodle Forum Friends ... ..


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## Chagall's mom

Gosh I like you folks!! Those who've participated in this thread have amplified my joy in having a poodle in a way no other "conversation" has. Over and over again it reminds me I am_ entitled_ to enjoy each and every speck of time I have with my poodle, which I truly do! Some would say obsessively so. They think I'm a bit, well, _daft_, I suppose! (Hey, I own up!!)

We all share an abiding love of our poodles, just as we all stand on the precipice of loss, one day having to say "farewell" to them. To have friends who _truly_ understand and care and are willing to stand near you and stand-by you to the very edge sadness is an immense gift. Tears we shed for one another aside, I am _so grateful_ to witness this human goodness! 

For now, hoping for one more good day for Tate, followed by more, many, many more!


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## PaddleAddict

I am so glad to hear Tate had a good day. Here's to many more!


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## Rowan

It's impossible to follow Chagall's Mom , but everyone here is behind you and Tate 100%. And if you decide to write Tate's Memoirs, you have a lot of willing Beta Readers/Critique partners. 

He bears a strong resemblance to another poodle I know (in those pics you posted)--I love his expressive eyes. 

Here's hoping he has a good day at the vet and many more good days to come.


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## schpeckie

It is so nice to hear that Pup is having some really good days! And yes, many more to come! It is absolutely heartwarming to keep us updated on Pup - it seems that a little piece of him has touched everyone's hearts on this forum :love2:


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## LEUllman

Actually, Pup's mom, this amazing and by turns heartbreaking and heartwarming thread could easily be adapted as a pre-made outline for a book -- or a screenplay. Before you laugh off the idea, consider the wild success of "Marley and me."

I'm not sure if it's a record, but with 32 pages and over 8800 views and counting, you've touched everyone who has read this thread on a highly personal, emotional level. Yours is a totally compelling story, and I bet I'm not the only forum member who checks for new posts daily, if not several times a day. We feel like we know you and Tate, and we care deeply about you both. Thank you for sharing so personal a story, in such a beautiful, natural voice.


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## Pup's mom

8800 views ? :afraid: I am shocked ! I am touched ... I swear they weren't all me 

Thank you and I agree with you all. It would be a good story. Everywhere he has gone he has touched someones life in a good way, he has friends all over the place .. it is like for some reason, we were given this gift, this angel in poodle clothing to take care of and keep here for a time .. letting him do what he does. 
As I have said before, it is an amazing experience and gift, to walk down the street with a creature that makes everyone smile. Busy big sidewalks full of people in a big city, all with Other thoughts on their minds, problems, plans and it is cold or hot or someone is late or worried and then they see Tate ... they keep walking and often never glance at us, but they smile.
Old women want to kiss him, babies giggle and want to touch him ... it is like walking down the street with an alien .. no one has seen such a thing but he makes them smile and want to kiss him.
Same thing happens to me ... every time I look at him. I totally understand those people .. 

The vet said that the surgeon will be in on Thursday afternoon, we are bringing him for her to see, they might do a little in office cutting off of some extra skin on his leg that has healed but with an odd flap of skin that might not stay healthy. We will see.. he is on antibiotics again as another tiny cyst popped, right above the big one .. he has always had these things but now they are problematic. I am not worried though, the vet and the surgeon are both very cautious and not quick to just cut or do something that might cause him more problems.

But other than the Thing on the leg ( or arm as the vet explained to me .. the front legs are arms.. they have a shoulder, arm bones, a wrist bone etc ... that the back legs do not have, the back legs have the same bones as all legs have ... ) he is in good shape.. getting all of his vitamins and seems to be thriving .. we are fattening him up now .. extra kibble at each meal.
I want a chubby Pup .. 

Have a good evening, I am going to spend mine on a sofa, with a big blanket and a husband at one end and a large fuzzball in the middle, one who always hogs the blankets.
besitos.


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## CT Girl

I love the pictures you posted of Pup. My two favorites are the one of Pup meeting the smaller poodle (he looks so gentle with the smaller dog) and the one with all his admirers (you can tell he knows he looks fine). I will join the others in urging you to write Pup's book. That way the whole world will grow to love him as we on the forum have.


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## Pup's mom

I am afraid our time with Pup is nearing an end. He is not interested much in eating and has more trouble walking. He has started getting weak and a bit disoriented quickly.
But I am still getting kisses and we are spending most of our time snuggling.
I managed to fit the both of us on his big bean bag bed and we cuddle and I remind him of the fun we had doing this and that and tell him how much I love him... and what a very very good boy he has always been.


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## lauren&sophie

Pups mom, 
Like many have said your story has touched my heart. Pup knows what a great mom you've been and loves you dearly. You are both in my thoughts and prayers. You are a great mom to him and he is very lucky to have you!


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## fjm

I hold you all in my heart tonight.


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## schpeckie

Oh Goodness - I feel your pain as I am crying typing this. Pup is surely blessed by your loving family. Sending prayers and hugs from Sylvia, Sadie and Lacey.


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## Chagall's mom

Dear* Pup's Mom:* When the time _does_ come, many our of cherished furry friends will be there with open paws and grinning mouths to welcome Tate over "The Rainbow Bridge." And we will STILL BE HERE for you, still and always in our hearts remembering the special gift, of your special boy, to radiate so much joy. My thoughts are with you.


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## papoodles

Oh NO! I am so sad -it feels as though one of my very own pups was slipping away, and I am struggling because I just want to hold on to him for dear life, and not let go..It is so terribly hard..
I will hold your Pup in my heart now too...


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## Gorky

I am so sorry. I hope Tate will be with you longer than you think. I will be thinking of you. Just give him all the love and cuddles you can.


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## Trillium

I'm so sorry I know how hard this has been. I'll be thinking and praying for you over the coming days.


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## Dallasminis

Thank you God for Pup and all the love and silliness he brings to us. Please let him be pain free and continue to enjoy his wonderful family...please give strength to Pup and those that so love him...


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## mulligan

Oh, I hope he rallies again. I'll be thinking of him, and you, and hoping for the best. Tell him we all think he's a really good boy.


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## fjm

Thinking of you Fx


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## CT Girl

I think we are all thinking of Pup and hoping for the best. Everytime I read this thread I have to give Swizzle extra cuddles.


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## Ruth

My heart goes out to you, this is the hard part of being a pet parent, but you have been fighting so hard for him, your love has made him treasure every second with you.

I'll keep you and Tate in my thoughts. Big big hugs.


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## mulligan

thinking of you.....


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## Ruth

Thinking of you too.


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## Pup's mom

If I manage not to cry for a few hours, I come here and read all of these sweet messages and that does it ! 
Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Tate is still here, a little more wobbly, a little confused some moments, a little weaker , but he is here.
He naps a lot , he doesn't walk around much, his hind legs have gotten pretty weak so he slips on the floors .. I have not been leaving him alone . I worry too much when we are out , that he might be struggling to get up or something worse, so we are here together. 
He sleeps by my side of the bed, I put a big fleece blanket on his bed to be sure he is warm .. he has lost some weight and I worry he feels the cold more.
I wake throughout the night and check to be sure he is still there .. we often end up having a bit of a snuggle before I climb back into bed and warm up and fall back to sleep.
One day he will be almost his old self and then next he is barely able to move. But he is still Tate and still smiles at us.
He is getting thinner, his hair is so long, you can't tell until you pet him.
I had to cut the hair around his face , no groomers for him anymore !
I actually did a good job ! He approved and my husband was amazed lol.
At least now, his little goatee won't drip water every time he has a drink .. because you know whose lap that cold water gets dripped on, don't you ?
Today we took him out, thinking he would do his wobbly walk up and down the street in front of our apt bldg.
Well, he just pointed himself in the direction of the park and away we went. . . Twice. Yep... first time since this all began, he walked the 2 long blocks, each way to the park and sniffed around and got fresh air.
I bought canned dog food ( Prescription A/D critical care) to help him with his appetite and hopefully fatten him up a bit. It gave him diarrhea.
So tonight the vet came by and gave him a shot. 
I was thinking of looking for baby food, what do you think?
Or should I just stick to the fresh chicken and hand feed him kibble if he will take it... I don't want him to waste away !
He still is so beautiful. 
I pet him and hold him and try to memorize him... the way he feels, all thick wavy hair and warm. I don't want to forget anything about him .. I cannot imagine life without Tate.


----------



## phrannie

*I haven't been here for a couple of weeks....always come here first to check up on your Pup....You have done such a marvelous job of soldiering thru one day at a time with Tate...You have shown grace and committment in the face of adversity and you make sure to find quality of life for your fur bub (love the story of him choosing the park )....YOU are an amazing woman, and Tate is an amazing pup....You have the most wonderful partnership, and I watch as you keep honoring that partnership...

My heart aches for you...

phrannie *


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

Poor baby...and poor you. I would feed him anything he will eat. ANYTHING. May I make a suggestion? When we had Thinker euthanised, when the vet had given him the sedation as the first step, I sat on the floor with his head in my lap, and asked Bruce to get some scissors for me. I turned Thinker's ear back and gently scissored some of the long feathering off. I put it in a envelope and have given some to different people whose lives he touched. When I am sad or am thinking about him I get mine out and touch it, and have found it has helped me through the process.

Please know you are in my thoughts always.


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## Pup's mom

Thank you phrannie 
Arreau, I did that  I cut some of the long hair off the back of his neck, it is so long and wavy, you can't even tell I cut a nice chunk off. I put it in a little box that is part of a collection of little pretty boxes , this one is very beautiful and I will, I am sure, do what you do .. afterwards.
Today is no better, he is still drinking but wants no food and isn't walking so well. Our vet is sick at home but messaging me on the phone. We have the other vet who is also very nice/kind/sweet/speaks English if we need her.
I will spend my day as I did the night, lying beside him with my arms around him.
Thank you everyone for your kind words ..


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## faerie

oh you are making me cry for you. 
i'll be keeping you in my thoughts. 

((((hugs))))


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## schpeckie

:sad: Still sending more hugs and prayers to you.
Sylvia, Sadie & Lacey


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## Pup's mom

The vet came by and gave him a cortasteroid shot, something for diarrhea and an analgesic.
He is a boneless fluffball on the blanket in the living room. He is awake and aware but not in pain, which is what I want.
We are about to get a big storm down here, so I am glad the vet arrived when she did and now I know we can just snuggle in and be together without having to call them out in the storm.
He is not eating but will drink water.
Many heartfelt thanks to all of you. besos


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## Katie

My thoughts and prayers are with you both.


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## papoodles

I can't even begin to tell you how much you and Pup have been on my mind lately- I have no words of comfort, all I know to do is to send you hugs and prayers.
xoxoxoxoxoxo


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## Chagall's mom

What sorrow, what boundless love! Sleep softly, beautiful boy. Many hearts surround you now.


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## papoodles

Chagall's mom..your eloquence expressed exactly what was in my heart and wanted to say....
Bless you.


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## mulligan

yes, well said, I am one of those hearts too.


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## Pup's mom

This huge beautiful heart of Pup's keeps beating and fighting ... God bless him.
We just found out that he has ancystoma ... worms 
Twice a tech has come here to give him a shot for the diarrhea and the vet only did a test once ... so I think this is one of the main probs he has been dealing with lately and I am a bit angry that it was not checked into .. If I had known, I would have asked but , well, I'm not a vet .
So he is taking a pill and a quarter of some horse pill today and tomorrow and getting a shot of antibiotic today ..
I know nothing about worms, we have never had this experience .. lucky us.

But ... on top of all this, with all the restless nights ( thanks worms) and pain and legs giving away and mama's weeping in the bathroom so he doesn't know.. he is following me around, smiling and still my sweet boy.
We are not letting him go without a huge fight ..


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## Chagall's mom

Oh darn those evil worms! Hopefully Tate will feel much more comfort now that he's being treated for them. If only our dogs could talk, and tell us "where it hurts," "what hurts," "what it feels like"! But even then we wouldn't be able to spare them from every ill, all the time. 

You and your vet continue to do the most amazing job of caring for Tate! To know you started another day together, seeing one another there as always, well that's the "best medicine" for me today! It's okay if your eyes are red from crying; your devotion is so true blue that's all Tate will notice. Best to you!


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## mulligan

thank you for the update. I looked up the symptoms and weakness and weight loss are symptoms, so now he's being treated, I'll be hoping that he will make a marked recovery! Hugs to you both.


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## schpeckie

You are still in our prayers - more hugs and licks from us!


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## papoodles

Oh Pup's mom! What a relief it is for me knowing that PUP is 'stable' as can be- 
We are 'ok' as long as his Vet keeps pulling miracle after miracle out of his magic black bag..Ahhh.reprieve! 
I am happy now
xoxoxxo


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## Dallasminis

Worms! Well, he'll feel better without them...I think the vet's minds were on much more serious stuff, (!)...I'm sure they feel awful about the mistake! Hope he is feeling better once the parasites are gone.. Oh, Pup loves his mommy! Enjoy him. Energy and strength I am sending you all...


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## CT Girl

Hopefully his energy level will pick back up now. I hope you are holding up OK. The stress and worry must be so draining.


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## phrannie

*Hello Pups Mom....doing my check in, to let you know I'm thinking about you. Worms, huh? As someone else said, when there are huge problems going on, the common things can slip thru the cracks....dammit!

I do think that once he's got the worms gone, tho...he will have more energy to perhaps eat....and regain a some of his strength.

Keeping you in my thoughts....and sending positive energy to Tate...

phrannie*


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## Jessie's Mom

morning, pup's mom & tate! i havent' been on for almost 2 weeks. first thing i did was come check this thread. i started out crying, but now i'm feel some relief and hoping you are too since the worm diagnosis. poop pup is in such a weakened state that worms, which can do so much damage to a healthy dog, is taxing his health even worse. poor baby boy - he needs a break and so does his mom.

i've been going through some stuff with jessie - nothing like you are experiencing - so besides coming here to see how he and you are, i come here for courage, too. we are all going to be here one day, and it is a day / time we all dread, for sure. life with our poodles is a life that feels complete. 

well, hang in there, tate. my prayer is that he continues to draw on your strength. i do hope that you know that it is your strength and love that keeps him rallying. i pray that you know that because it most definitely is his reason to push through.

you are both in my prayers...give tate a kiss on the side of his face, where that soft little pouch of cheek is and whisper to him it is a kiss and a prayer from his PF family.


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## Pup's mom

Hello from sunny but very cold Buenos Aires !
I am sitting here with the sun coming in the french doors, warming a sleeping Pup who is lying close by. There are times I would like to get up and go do something else, but I know he will get up and follow me and right now, I just want him to nap.

The worms episode is pretty much over. He takes a pill on Tuesday then he will be finished.. he is also taking antibiotics. Which are about to be finished also.
He has had more shots for diarrhea, antibiotics and pills than I think most dogs get in a life time ! And without a fuss, or bother, he just allows us to do anything to him, as long as he gets his "cookie" and kisses.

He has been so weak from everything that I jump up and run to him when I hear him trying to get out of his bed ( bean bag type) and I know he will slide on the floors so I am there .. I have gotten some new muscles since this all happened 

Now he is walking farther on his toilet walks and a couple of times this past week, warmer days than today-he walked the 2 blocks to the park where he sniffed around and got some exercise.

The vet and her assistant continue to come here about every other night, with shots or just to check on him. They email me and text me during the days just to see how he is. They have ceased to be doctors to us, they are now friends who care very much.

He has decided that he doesn't like his kibble anymore so his diet is now rice, canned food ( for convalescent pups) and roast chicken. I feed him a few times a day, small amounts, working on building up his appetite again.
The vet said to put a drop of honey in his water, he needs the sugar.
He gets a dash of no sodium salt in his food because he needs potassium.

So mostly the days are quiet and my husband and I stay home with Tate. My husband runs errands and goes to the market for us .. I will now leave the house but not for long and on Friday when the housekeeper was here, I was gone about an hour and I was very fidgety to get home and be sure he was alright. 

Life is different now for all of us.
I try very hard Not to think of anything to do with the future, I am just absorbing every thing I can about this time we have left together.
Last night he slept all night again, this is good. I don't but at least he does 

Thank you once again for all the kind and loving comments.. you are all a gift that I needed at this time ... thank you.
I have a photo of the boy I will post here


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## papoodles

*Thank you*

Hello Pup's mom,
I approach every one of your new posts on Pup with some trepidation, as I know just how fragile a state he is in- yet with every word I read, I am buoyed beyond reason by your positive and loving approach to making every minute with him special, and finally, I feel better, because I can see him peacefully and happily still carrying on being your beloved Pup.
No pup could ever be loved more than Tate, of that I am sure.xoxoxo


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## spoospirit

_Hi Pup's Mom, You're journey has become mine. I don't post often, but I do read often. It is amazing the things that love can do. You're love for Pup is beyond that which I have ever witnessed in my lifetime, and I find your story to be very inspirational in the strength that one can find when it is needed.

It is good to hear that you are taking every moment and cherishing it now; just being there with Pup and enjoying his very essence. 

My heart and my prayers are with you as they have always been through this time of bittersweetness for you and Pup. Hugs to you all._


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## fjm

Love conquers all...


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## Pup's mom

Thank you, even if Love doesn't conquer this, it sure will hang on to this Pup for as long as possible !
This photo will speak louder than words. I have only happy words today .. 








All he needs is a bath and a blow dry ...


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## Chagall's mom

*Pup's mom:* So many of us are _very_ happy right along with you! Good for Tate, and good for you!! Love is a big thing found in the small moments, I know you cherish each one. Us too!!


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## Pup's mom

He walked to the park and back, sniffed around, he has been energetic and playful .. the vet is so happy, I texted her and she sent an excited email back, mostly with the words besos besos !! lol
My heart is lighter than it has been in days..weeks !


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## mulligan

Yay! I'm so glad to hear he is getting better besos to you both!


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## fjm

Pup is amazing!


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## Jessie's Mom

fjm said:


> Pup is amazing!


i agree, but even more so, pup's mom is amazing and her strength has become his strength and her love his reason for pushing through. her courage, has become all of ours...our spirits have been touched and changed. we will remember her words whenever the time comes for us to make this journey.


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## Chagall's mom

I don't think I ever enjoyed the sight of a shaggy, poodle-in-need-of-a-grooming more! To my eyes, Tate is a handsome champion. Good thoughts going out to you now.


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## Pup's mom

LOL, I know ! He needs a bath so badly !
I lay in bed now, trying to think of how to manage it. He still has that not quite healed wound on his leg from the ruptured cyst .. it was doing well then flared up again. I brush him almost every day but in the evening when he is lying there on the bed like a lump .. he lets you do anything to him so I wait until he is relaxed and tired to brush him, otherwise, he will get up and walk away when he thinks I have had enough time. So he has walked around fluffy and soft on the head and back with really scraggly legs ..
The vet has a groomer who will come to the house and clip his nails, I am going to ask him to bring the clipper and we will have his belly and face cut shorter.. my husband and I are devising a plan for using buckets in the bathroom and putting in one leg at a time, washing then using lots of conditioner to be able to brush him and at least he will look better and smell good.
Any tips , feel free to offer !! 
I am feeding him a mix of dry kibble, canned food for convalescent pups and fresh chicken.. he is now turning his nose up at that. He has to fatten up.
Any ideas on that too, please let me know. I will try anything .. his stomach has been in good shape since the worm meds worked. He is back on an antibiotic for the leg again.. lucky us , he takes a pill as long as it is in a bit of cheese. 
He is a Good Boy : )
Thank you for your comments.. you make me cry , you are so kind and generous .


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## Jessie's Mom

pup's mom, to fatten him up, i would cook anything he would eat. try some organ meats: liver, kidney, heart, lung, tripe (cow's stomach). i cook them for jessie - just a little olive oil and some cut up garlic (which i remove after cooking). you can add that to his special canned food. 

you could also give him cottage cheese, plain yogurt, and eggs. maybe try small meals throughout the day - that may help keep his energy level up, too.

hope this helps a bit. and, as always, know you and he continue to be in our prayers.


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## Pup's mom

Thank you !
I buy a rotisserie chicken once a week and that is what I give him .. I give him his pills wrapped in a piece of chicken skin.
For some reason ( maybe it is the ingredients down here ) any processed cheese gives him diarrhea.
He is at the moment, having absolutely no problems with his bowels, after the worms, we are really watching out for that.
He will also take a pill smeared with peanut butter .. or just lick it off my fingers.
I think the idea of feeding him several times a day is good.. that way he will increase the amounts he is eating. He eats a few bites then walks away.
I cooked rice in chicken broth when his stomach was bad and he liked that ..
my husband and I are less picky lol.
This morning he turned his nose up at the canned dog food. I bet if I offered him some of that cheap stuff from the super market ( Pedigree) he would gobble it up.
About a year ago, the vets were closed for some holiday and that is where we buy his food. So we bought Pedigree at the super market. He loved it .. gobbled it up. We were so happy.
As time went by, we noticed he was looking thin, the vet was horrified, she said that the Pedigree was so bad for him... but he loved it  
kinda like me and chocolate.
So he eats Royal Canin, we started him on that when we were living in the US .. knowing they sold it here.. he adjusted perfectly to food and living down here.. much better than I did ! of course, he doesn't have to worry about the language, everyone speaks his ... _kisses, hugs, mi amor , pobrecito ... _


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## Pup's mom

Update on the leg etc:

Tate walked to the vet today, easy peasy. He was all ready to play with one of the office cats but the cat wasn't in the mood. So he contented himself with lying on the floor like a large brown shag rug while the vet rubbed his belly and whispered sweet love talk into his ears .. in Spanish .. he loves her .. she loves him.
Her dog had a feeling that something was up, so she came in and dropped a ball in the middle of everything .. 

Tate is doing very well.
His cyst left some extra skin when it ruptured and that skin is sort of a flap on his shin. She cannot and will not have him given any anesthesia so he has to just live with what he has, I will change his bandage every day and sugar him and we will live with it .. Hopefully as he improves , he will get some more red blood cells and the thing will heal without surgery.

His stomach is good, he got more worm pills and will take those for the next couple of days then the last one 10 days from now.

He is moving around the house more and generally acting more and more aware and less weak and pitiful. Therefore I am much less pitiful and haven't cried all day !! 

Tonight he had chicken and cheese on kibble. He didn't eat it all but he ate some. He is taking his pills with peanut butter and cheese. 

So that is the news today- :act-up:


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## PaddleAddict

What a wonderful, encouraging update!


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## schpeckie

That is fantastic! It is so good to hear that Tate is doing alot better and thank goodness he is eating, even if it is a small amount. I look for your thread everyday and pray for good news and today is GREAT! Still hugs and kisses from "the girls".


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## fjm

I think several small meals a day is an excellent idea. My two get home made dog icecream as an extra special treat (made with yoghurt and condensed milk) - perhaps Tate would enjoy a few licks of that? And scrambled eggs are nourishing and easy to digest.


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## Pup's mom

Thank you !
I am going to go scramble some eggs right now.
He is just turning his nose up at things, of course last night, he only ate tiny bites when they were offered by hand ... are we thinking that this boy is a wee bit spoiled ? Nooooo ~ 

The vet gave him a small bone last night and he was having the best time chewing. Then he lay down to nap. He woke up coughing, I walked over to see if he was okay and pet him, there was blood on the floor. . and on his face.
I could not find a bloody gum or tooth and fear that it might have been coughed up. So of course, I didn't sleep that well last night, constantly checking on him.
He slept great lol.
No coughs but I will keep an eye on him today and of course, that bone went into the garbage. 

Now I am going to go scramble some eggs, have a good day, thank you soooo much !


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## Chagall's mom

They say "you can't live on love," but boy, do you and Tate prove them wrong!!

A friend of mine whose dog had cancer followed Dr. Johanna Budwig's Anticancer Diet after having tumors removed with great success. You can get info of the diet and food suggestions at:
http://www.datadepo.com/cancercure/budwig.htm

hugs to you and Tate!!


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## Pup's mom

Thank you !
I can't seem to get that link to open 

Pup was not that impressed with the scrambled eggs, so I threw in some roasted salmon from last nights dinner ( people dinner ) and he showed little interest so I threw in some bits of chicken ... then fed him by hand ...that sort of perked him up but he is barely eating.
This is my new quest, to find something Pup likes to eat and hand feed him lol...


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## Chagall's mom

Want to try again? It works for me...
http://www.datadepo.com/cancercure/budwig.htm

Sorry for the upsetting scare with the blood episode, so much to worry over! I hope there is no further problem along those lines. Goodness knows you've got enough on your plate right now, and enough of a challenge trying to get Tate to empty his!!


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## papoodles

*Yayyy!!!*

So HAPPY with your good news..
Hmmmm..no plain scrambled eggs for PUP?..Sounds like my Harley- she'll eat them if I happen to have leftover scrambled eggs with smoked salmon..
xoxoxo


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## Pup's mom

I have to get smoked salmon 
( I will eat anything if there is smoked salmon on it too..lol)

The trick today was cheap grocery store Pedigree canned dog food, a couple of spoonsful, into his kibble ... gobbled it up.
I still can't open the datadepo website, Safari is telling me no such thing .. grrr.
Thank you anyway- I will try later again. We have to walk the boy, it is so cold out I hate to make him go out but he has been napping in the sunshine while we were at the market so it might feel good to him.


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## Jessie's Mom

hi, pup's mom. haven't heard anything in almost a week. just wondering how you and pup are doing??


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## Pup's mom

Hi and thank you for asking.
I am afraid that there is nothing good or hopeful that I have to say .. Pup is not doing so well. We had a few days there where he was full of energy and bounced a little like he used to and he would eat and smile and I would fool myself into thinking he would be around for longer .. 
He is not eating much at all anymore. He drinks water and will still walk outside with us but that is getting harder for him.
He wobbles a lot, last night he collapsed. Today he is a bit stronger and not falling down but he only naps and lies around. 
The vet came last night, gave him a shot because again he has diarrhea. She said I could safely give him a pain pill at night, so I did last night and we both slept better.
I hold him and tell him what a good boy he is and how much I love him.
That is about all that I can do now. 
I will let you know when things change.. for now, thank you all so much for caring. Besos. God bless.


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## Jessie's Mom

i'm at a loss for words. i was afraid that this is why you hadn't posted. i understand. sounds like the wind is being taken out of your sail, too. just be peaceful and know how much love you two share. learn from him. they are braver and less emotional about life than we are.

you and he are in my prayers...besos


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## Pup's mom

I just cannot imagine life with him not there .. he has been so much a part of our lives for the past 12 years.. he sat beside me and comforted me on 9/11, he has been my comfort when we are in strange lands and I feel lonely .. he is my companion, my child and my comfort.
Husbands are great and mine is wonderful and he is grieving too but I feel like I am losing a part of me.

I am sorry .. I just don't want to say goodbye yet .. I still need him.


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## schpeckie

Still more hugs, kisses and prayers for you and your family. We are all here for you.


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## CT Girl

I thought Tate might not be doing well when I did not see updates. You may have a difficult decision ahead. I know you will choose what is best for Tate. My heart is breaking for you. ((Hugs))


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## Dallasminis

Pup's mom said:


> I just cannot imagine life with him not there .. he has been so much a part of our lives for the past 12 years.. he sat beside me and comforted me on 9/11, he has been my comfort when we are in strange lands and I feel lonely .. he is my companion, my child and my comfort.
> Husbands are great and mine is wonderful and he is grieving too but I feel like I am losing a part of me.
> 
> I am sorry .. I just don't want to say goodbye yet .. I still need him.


What a wonderful life you have with Pup...thank you so much for sharing him with us, I have been really touched by the whole story. Our hearts reach out to you and your husband and to Pup...it is really beautiful to realize the love you all have together...every moment a new memory. You all have so much to give. We send you even more love and strength. Know that we are all brought together to celebrate Pup's life...we are all knitted together in this "poodle love", aren't we...Hugs and kisses... How much we all love you!
Lady and Indie, Sherry and Larry


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## DonnaM

My heart breaks for you. May you find peace.

Donna


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## Jessie's Mom

Pup's mom said:


> I just cannot imagine life with him not there .. he has been so much a part of our lives for the past 12 years.. he sat beside me and comforted me on 9/11, he has been my comfort when we are in strange lands and I feel lonely .. he is my companion, my child and my comfort.
> Husbands are great and mine is wonderful and he is grieving too but I feel like I am losing a part of me.
> 
> I am sorry .. I just don't want to say goodbye yet .. I still need him.


i'm not saying i think you are saying goodbye soon, but i do want to say one thing. when the time does come, just remember: you are letting go of his tired body, you will never let go of his spirit. his spirit and all he has taught you (yes, they teach us for sure) will be with you forever. so many of my friends that lost their beloved pets suffered so much, thought they could never go on without their presence wind up finding out their presence is always there. 

so when the time comes, maybe it won't be as hard to let go of his tired body when you realize you will help release his wonderful spirit that is being held down from its greatest potentional right now because of the physical challenges.

at least that s my prayer for you.


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## Bella's Momma

Hugs to you and to Pup.


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## mulligan

Hugs to you and pup. There are some very good messages above.....


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## CurlyDog

I'm so sorry to hear that Tate's not doing well. I just went through this in January with my 14 year old collie. I know how hard it is.


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## fjm

My thoughts are with you all.


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## Siskojan

This is a quote from Gene Hill to be found at Dog Quotations.com I came across it today when one of our patients at work handed out a sheet in loving memory of her service dog Buddy the golden retriever who had retired a year or so ago and had to be euthanized last Friday. Of course it had us all in tears. I thought it might be a good place to share it here, as we all feel this way about our dogs and it would seem to reflect the essence of Tate as we have come to know and love him through this thread. 

He is my other eyes that can see above the clouds; my other ears that hear above the winds. He is the part of me that can reach out into the sea. He has told me a thousand times over that I am his reason for being; by the way he rests against my leg; by the way he thumps his tail at my smallest smile; by the way he shows his hurt when I leave without taking him. (I think it makes him sick with worry when he is not along to care for me.)

When I am wrong, he is delighted to forgive. When I am angry, he clowns to make me smile. When I am happy, he is joy unbounded. When I am a fool, he ignores it. When I succeed, he brags. Without him, I am only another man. With him, I am all-powerful. He is loyalty itself.

He has taught me the meaning of devotion. With him, I know a secret comfort and a private peace. He has brought me understanding where before I was ignorant.

His head on my knee can heal my human hurts. His presence by my side is protection against my fears of dark and unknown things. He has promised to wait for me... whenever... wherever — in case I need him. And I expect I will — as I always have. He is just my dog.

Tears and Laughter


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

I do not even know what to say except be strong. You will get through this. And we all will be holding you up in our prayers, and in our thoughts. xo


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## Pup's mom

My beautiful Tate died today at 12:30 . He had a bad night , the vet was here, we were all here with him, holding him and telling him what a good boy he was .. then he was gone.

Thank you so very much for allowing me to talk out my worries, fears and grief. You all earned wings.. really.

Hold your pups tight and give them an extra kiss for me ..


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## fjm

I am so very, very sorry.


May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon you, and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.


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## PaddleAddict

Pup's Mom, I am so very sorry for your loss. Pup was a very lucky dog to have you as an owner.


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## Gorky

Pup's Mom - I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. Tate will be with you forever if only in your thoughts. You have been a wonderful mom to him.


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## Bella's Momma

I am so deeply sorry for your loss of Sweet Tate.


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## cavon

Words cannot express how sorry I am to hear that your beautiful, beautiful Tate lost his battle to this terrible illness. 

All of us who have lost a beloved companion know that no words can comfort at this time, but please know that you are in our hearts and prayers.

Your boy was with you through many life events, both good and difficult and he will continue to be with you in your heart. Whenever you feel happy you will see him in your mind's eye running and playing. When you need support or comfort you will feel his head on your lap, his beautiful brown eyes looking up at you, wanting to take your pain away. And ALWAYS, ALWAYS, you will feel his heart beating with yours.

He is somewhere nearby, just around a corner, no longer in pain, waiting for you. Waiting for the time when you will be together again to run and laugh and play in the sunshine, never to have a moments discomfort ever again.

Thank you for sharing Tate's final journey with all of us. For any person who is unsure of what true pet ownership is, they need only read this thread from beginning to end. Your unconditional, unbridled love for each other is palpable in every word. Tate was lucky to have you and you were lucky to have Tate.

Grieve, mourn, reflect & cry. Remember every second of every day. Close your eyes and feel his soft breath on your neck. Although the loss will never go away, in time the good memories will overtake the heart wrenching sadness you are feeling now. 

When that day comes, please pick up your laptop and start writing. Let the memories of all of the adventures, happy and sad flow out of you and onto the screen. All of us have travelled this road with you and your beloved boy and we would all love to one day be able to read every detail of his spectacular life.

I wish you and Tate peace.

Crystal


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## Chagall's mom

Dear *Pup's Mom*: This is the day none us wanted to come. I'm so sad for you that it has. Tate _love_d being your dog! Thank you for sharing him will us. When you are able, please turn up again. I do think he'd want you to stay in our "pack." My deepest sympathy.


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## mulligan

Oh, i am so very, very sorry.


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## CT Girl

Dear Pup's Mom,

I have been dreading this day. We all share in your loss of Tate because through your posts we have all come to know and love him. I am so, so sorry. ((Hugs))


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## jfo

I am so very sorry for your loss. Your sweet boy is resting peacefully...


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## schpeckie

Oh goodness - so very sorry about your loss of Tate. He was such a very special dog and he will live in your heart forever. Prayers to you and your family.


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## Jessie's Mom

we are all at a loss for words, but cavon did a good job of expressing what everyone feels. thank you, crystal, for taking the time.

pup's mom, you are not grieving alone. our hearts are grieving with you. you need to find solace in the fact that you gave Tate a life that no other dog i know has lived. he experienced the world first hand and you were, obviously the center of his world. 

they are wise, our poodles. they know life and they know death. they are graceful at birth and graceful till the time they close their eyes. yes, he was blessed to have you as his human mom; however, i know you feel blessed that he was your furchild. and i know you feel there is and never will be another dog like him in the world. and you are right. each one has their own unique characteristics and ways, but they are all the same when it comes to showing us what love is all about.

we all hug you :grouphug: from different corners of the earth. 

much love
ann marie


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## outwest

A dogs life seems so short, I am so sorry. It is rough losing a wonderful friend. Please take solice in the fact that you gave him a happy, full life.


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## papoodles

*Pup's MOM*

My heart just broke for you...
xoxoxoxoxooox


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## Dallasminis

I am so sad that Pup is gone, but happy to know that he is whole and healthy again ...you have been so wonderful with him, I hope there is some comfort knowing that his passing could not have been more lovingly cared for.
I know how deeply you love Tate, and so you will grieve deeply for him...but you will eventually see him again, and that is something to look forward to....we will miss all his silliness and your storytelling about his antics, please come back to the forum when you are ready....we will be waiting for you!
Hugs and much love is being sent to you....it is all that we can send, but it is everything.


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## DonnaM

My deepest sympathy. 

As stated by Jessie's Mom:

We hug you from all corners of the world.


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## LEUllman

Thank you for sharing your life and love with sweet Tate, and your story with all of us via this forum. You touched our hearts, and I, for one, will never forget either of you.

With deepest sympathy,

Lawrence Ullman and Beau


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## CharismaticMillie

I am so sorry to hear about Tate. His life touched so many of us, and even though I never met him in person, I grieve for Tate.


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## PoodleMomAnew

I am so so sorry for your loss. I am hurting for you and your husband and can't imagine your pain but please know my thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## ArreauStandardPoodle

My heart is breaking for you both. Time will turn your tears into smiles and you have so many incredible memories to get you through. I pray peace will find you quickly.

Rainbow Bridge 

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. 

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. 
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. 
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. 

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. 
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. 

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. 

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. 

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... 

Author unknown...


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## Rowan

Pup's Mom:
I'm so sorry to hear about Tate. I lost my beloved Lord Byron to a hemangiosarcoma and it's an unrelenting foe, but Tate fought a valiant fight and he was _loved_. In the end, that's all that matters--the love you shared. I know you weren't ready to give him up but he deserved your courage and you were there for him through thick and thin, and you were by his side in the end. 

One day you'll be ready for another pup, and that pup will be very lucky. You'll know when it's time because s/he will find you.

I'm a Lord Byron fan for many reasons, but his devotion and love for a very special Newfoundland sets him apart. Here is Lord Byron's most eloquent poem, written in honor of his beloved pup (I think he captured the spirit of our canine friends better than anyone ever has or ever hopes to):

Near this Spot
are deposited the Remains of one
who possessed *Beauty without Vanity*,
*Strength without Insolence*,
*Courage without Ferosity*,
and all the virtues of Man without his Vices.

This praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery
if inscribed over human Ashes,
is but a just tribute to the Memory of
BOATSWAIN, a DOG,
who was born in Newfoundland May 1803
and died at Newstead Nov. 18, 1808.

When some proud Son of Man returns to Earth,
Unknown by Glory, but upheld by Birth,
The sculptor’s art exhausts the pomp of woe,
And storied urns record who rests below.
When all is done, upon the Tomb is seen,
Not what he was, but what he should have been.
But the poor Dog, in life the firmest friend,
The first to welcome, foremost to defend,
Whose honest heart is still his Master’s own,
Who labours, fights, lives, breathes for him alone,
Unhonoured falls, unnoticed all his worth,
Denied in heaven the Soul he held on earth –
While man, vain insect! hopes to be forgiven,
And claims himself a sole exclusive heaven.

Oh man! thou feeble tenant of an hour,
Debased by slavery, or corrupt by power –
Who knows thee well must quit thee with disgust,
Degraded mass of animated dust!
Thy love is lust, thy friendship all a cheat,
Thy tongue hypocrisy, thy words deceit!
By nature vile, ennobled but by name,
Each kindred brute might bid thee blush for shame.
Ye, who perchance behold this simple urn,
Pass on – it honors none you wish to mourn.
To mark a friend’s remains these stones arise;
I never knew but one – and here he lies. 
'Epitaph To A Dog' by Lord Byron


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## mulligan

Thinking about you. Hugs


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## Ruth

I'm so sorry, I'm so very sorry! I don't know what to say, I also know no matter what I say your pain will not be any less. I wish I could reach you through the distance and hug you tight.

My heart is breaking and grieving for you. It's not easy, but I hope your heart will find peace eventually. Many many hugs for you.

This was my favorite poem, when I recently lost my most beloved GSD puppy over Juvenile renal disease. I know it's hard for the pain to go away, I don't even know if it's possible for it to ever go away, but I hope this helps a bit.

I ONLY WANTED YOU

They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.

–Vicky Holder (by permission)


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## Trillium

I am so very sorry!! My heart is aching for you. You will be in my thought and prayers.


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## Jessie's Mom

i know pup's mom is devastated at losing him, but i'm so worried about HER. has anyone on the pf heard from her, maybe in a pm? just wondering how she is. her last post about his death kinda haunts me. i feel like we need to hear from her again just to see how she is....


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## Chagall's mom

Jessie's Mom said:


> i know pup's mom is devastated at losing him, but i'm so worried about HER. has anyone on the pf heard from her, maybe in a pm? just wondering how she is. her last post about his death kinda haunts me. i feel like we need to hear from her again just to see how she is....


You are such a dear soul to care so deeply! Knowing others do as well, I can tell you that Tate's wonderful mom is moving forward through her grief, though she misses him terribly. I don't want to inappropriately speak for her, but I know this for a fact, through her own words. Perhaps, and this is just my thinking, it is too painful for her to come back here right now. But I can assure you she is getting through the cold winter, both in the southern hemisphere where she lives, and in her heart.


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## Jessie's Mom

Chagall's mom said:


> You are such a dear soul to care so deeply! Knowing others do as well, I can tell you that Tate's wonderful mom is moving forward through her grief, though she misses him terribly. I don't want to inappropriately speak for her, but I know this for a fact, through her own words. Perhaps, and this is just my thinking, it is too painful for her to come back here right now. But I can assure you she is getting through the cold winter, both in the southern hemisphere where she lives, and in her heart.


chagall's mom, you put that so beautifully. i guess i know how we all dread that "day" but it will come for all of us, unfortunately. just like we were here for her as her support while he was ill, i'm sure she knows that if she did ever return we would be here for her now that he's no longer suffering. but i totally understand that sometimes you just can't revisit the same place that you got relief from your worries, when you are dealing with your grief.

thank you,
ann marie


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## Ruth

Chagall's mom, Jessie's mom is right. You always word everything so beautifully. And it's understandable that she's away from the forums, I hope she comes back sometime in the future. I do feel her pain and I hope she's doing fine.

Hugs for you, Pup's mom! I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

(Just noticed that was a lot of moms in just one post).


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## Pup's mom

*Heartfelt Thanks to You All !*

I have not been able to come here and read, it is so hard to get through the days without sobbing, I knew coming here and reading your sweet comments and seeing photos would do me in.
It has been a week now and I find that I am down to sobbing only once or twice a day.
I don't walk to certain parts of the neighborhood, I avoid Tate's park, I try to avoid the doormen and neighbors who will ask about him.
My poor husband , whose morning always started with a walk to the park with Tate, now sits and reads the news online and watches television and waits for me to get up .. we plan our days but seem to stay in mostly.. running short errands.
We talk about going to this place and that but grief sits on me like a 2 ton weight and I can only think about how to get through the days without screaming and crying.
(so far I have avoided the screaming part)..
We got his ashes , a week after he died.
I will keep them with us because if/when we move from here, he must come with us.
The worst part of missing him is that he lived in every room, there is nowhere to go to avoid that empty spot where Tate should be.
He slept next to my side of the bed, I tried to change the furniture around, but the side of the bed still shouts at me that someone is missing.
It is very cold out, we are just biding our time and waiting for summer to come. Then we will travel and get away from here more often.
We consider moving .. I have a hard time looking into the future, planning anything right now.. but so many people deal with loss, horrible terrible loss, I will manage just like they do.
You all have made it easier, at least you understand.. it is like coming here and talking to a bunch of big soft hearts who all hug me .. perfect, just what I need.... thank you again.
Here are a couple of my favorite photos ..


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## Chagall's mom

Dear *Pup's mom*: I know you can feel his footsteps in your heart, where he walks forever more. Thank you for coming by, it means so much that you did.


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## Ruth

Pup's mom, so glad to see you around here *big hugs*

I don't even know what to say, I just can't stop bawling while reading your post. Sending many big hugs your way!


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## Dallasminis

Sending you strength and love, my heart is just aching for you and your husband. It is so good to hear from you, though. We grieve with you and love you.


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## fjm

Sending hugs for you and your husband.


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## phrannie

Pup's mom said:


> My beautiful Tate died today at 12:30 . He had a bad night , the vet was here, we were all here with him, holding him and telling him what a good boy he was .. then he was gone.
> 
> Thank you so very much for allowing me to talk out my worries, fears and grief. You all earned wings.. really.
> 
> Hold your pups tight and give them an extra kiss for me ..


*I am so sorry, Pup's-mom....I, like so many others here, have followed your story of love and devotion....from the beginning. What an amazing boy Tate was....what an inspirational dog-mom you are. Every single person here has learned something from you and your boy...I have been so grateful to be a part of your life with Tate. 

My heart aches for you...I know his passing leaves huge hole in your life right now...RIP sweet Tate....and big hugs to you. 

p

PS...when I lost my little Molly (Westie), I left her nose prints on my front window for almost a year....I could not make myself wash that window*


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## mulligan

Its good to hear from you. I can understand it being hard to come back just now. You take your time, you know we are all caring for you.


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## Jessie's Mom

pup's mom, i know right now you see yourself as a some sort of mess: not able to sort out emotions, not able to see into the future, not wanting to do much, not wanting to even push yourself to do much. your heart is aching beyond words.

i'd like you to know that none of us see you that way. no, instead we see you as courageous, deserving of all of our admiration. you may not be fully aware of the impact you had on all of us. you put into words, and your words put life into the journey we all dread. maybe walking it with you has been practice for each of us. the silver lining is watching you recover gives us all hope.

please don't ever leave us. we would love to continue to have your input in our lives, if you would care to. in the meantime we send you love and hugs from all over the world.

ann marie


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## Dallasminis

Oh, how beautifully you have stated the emotions we all feel for Tate's Mom, thank you. 

Sherry


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## outwest

Pup's mom. After my standard Clara passed away last winter I was feeling much like you. She left such a hole in our lives. We never knew when the mailman came or when someone was coming to the door. Our nightly routine of outside/in the crate/pat pat/goodnight that we had done for 11 years was over. I would try to fall asleep and her face would enter my mind. 

I went to the doctor for a checkup a couple weeks later. The doc asked me how I was doing. I mentioned losing her and how upset we were. I told her I was having more trouble than I thought I might and was mad at myself for it. My doc is a dog person, too (she breeds and shows Ridgebacks) and made me realize it was okay to grieve for a 'dog'. When I left, she handed me a prescription. I looked at it quizzically. She had written, "RX: one puppy". That one puppy has brought doggie joy back to us. I hope some day soon you will feel the need to fill such a prescription yourself. Until that time, things do get easier and better day after day.


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## phrannie

outwest said:


> Pup's mom. After my standard Clara passed away last winter I was feeling much like you. She left such a hole in our lives. We never knew when the mailman came or when someone was coming to the door. Our nightly routine of outside/in the crate/pat pat/goodnight that we had done for 11 years was over. I would try to fall asleep and her face would enter my mind.
> 
> I went to the doctor for a checkup a couple weeks later. The doc asked me how I was doing. I mentioned losing her and how upset we were. I told her I was having more trouble than I thought I might and was mad at myself for it. My doc is a dog person, too (she breeds and shows Ridgebacks) and made me realize it was okay to grieve for a 'dog'. When I left, she handed me a prescription. I looked at it quizzically. She had written, "RX: one puppy". That one puppy has brought doggie joy back to us. I hope some day soon you will feel the need to fill such a prescription yourself. Until that time, things do get easier and better day after day.


*Your Dr.'s gesture of kindness...the Rx for a puppy... literally popped tears into my eyes! Yes...that is the cure...it takes a little time to get there, but nothing is better to fill that hole. I waited a year one time between losing a beloved GSD, and getting the next...........that was FAR too long. The instant the new little one was in my arms, that aching started to disappear, and instant love started to fill that space.

p*


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## fjm

When the time is right - tomorrow, next week, next year - trust in Tate to send the pup that you need to help fill the void in your lives. I don't think there is a better memorial for a much loved dog than offering love and a happy home to another animal that needs them.


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## Spindrift

I am new to these forums but just read through most of this thread. I lost my dog of 16 and a half years this last January and it was totally heart-breaking. The last six months of his life was a long downhill process. It was so tough to go through. I loved him so much and miss him every day.

Pups Mom you gave Tate a beautiful and wonderful life. Sometimes when I start thinking about my dog it makes me cry. But at the same time I tell myself that it is good to remember the memories, because it keeps him alive. He had a good life and it is something to be celebrated and remembered. As painful as these experiences are, it teaches us so much about love. The way you were there for him to the end shows that. I hope you are feeling a little better. Time is a good healer.


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## minipoodlelover

Dear Pup's Mom,

This past July, I lost my much loved black mini to liver cancer. It was devastating, and I'm still grieving. Like you, I opted to forego chemo, having spoken to two people who had chosen that route and deeply regretted it. After I made my decision, my vet told me I had made the right decision, and she would have done the same thing.

I chose to adopt a new poodle puppy relatively quickly, because life is just too short to go too long without one of these dear friends in our lives.

Years ago I lost a cat that I had loved very much and when I wept to a wise friend, she told me she always thought the reason our pets didn't live too long was so that we could experience more animal friends in our lives. I found myself comforted by her words.

Though my black mini can never be replaced, I do have the joy of waking up every morning with my new puppy, and her antics and companionship to look forward to each and every day. I can't imagine my life without the simple happiness that a poodle brings. 

Wishing you all the best.


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