# Feeling frustrated and helpless



## Sole0102 (Nov 23, 2020)

I am hoping that someone can help. Cooper is now 18 weeks old and for those who saw my post last week know that the vet had commented about him being a diva.
Well I think she may have been right. He has been relentless with mouthing and growling over the past week and nothing I do seems to be having an impact. I have tried turning away from him, putting him in his crate and ignoring him and I have tried redirecting him. Nothing is working. He has also stopped walking when we go out, he just sits down and refuses to walk but runs around in the house and in the garden. I love him dearly and I am not angry with him, I'm just frustrated about how to get him to stop.
I want him to be the best dog he can be and he is very intelligent and training has been successful up until now. 
Any ideas?


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

This too shall pass! At 18 weeks old this is all normal behaviour - I know it must feel as if you have tried everything but it takes time, consistency and perseverance over many weeks. I am sure others going through the same traumas will be along soon with advice and commiserations, but remember, you are allowed to close the door on him and take a breather sometimes.

Did anything happen to worry him outside on walks? Or could it be a change in the weather? I would treat walks as socialising rather than exercise - take him somewhere where you can sit together and watch the world go by (not so easy in lockdown, I know), letting him sniff a bit and meet people and dogs and generally learn about life. 

It might be a good idea to join an online puppy class if you have not already done so - it can be reassuring to be in contact with others coping with puppies of similar age, and a good instructor may be able to suggest stratagems you have not thought of.


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## cowpony (Dec 30, 2009)

Puppies can be very demanding and frustrating. It's like having a toddler with fangs. When my pup Galen was that age I nicknamed him "the little monster" because he was just so annoying.

Something that helped a lot was to start him on clicker training. It got his little brain working and installed the first stages of self control. By giving him something correct to do, instead of asking him not to do things, I was able to improve his behavior. It was rather amusing at first, because his whole attitude conveyed he believed he was ordering me to give him treats. He just needed to figure out the right way to issue the command to ensure I understood. At first he would haphazardly wobble into a sit. Then, when that got him a treat, he would plop his little rump down firmly and give me an authoritative glare.

Going on walks with puppies that age has always been difficult. Sometimes they are just too unfocused and want to spend the whole time chewing on things. Other times they are truly nervous and just don't want to stray far from home. I've always had my puppies in a multi-dog household, so I usually got around the problem by taking the puppy out in the company of some of the other family members. After we lost Pogo my husband and I continued walking Galen together at night. Galen wouldn't go out with either of us alone at night, but he was willing when he had both.


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## Basil_the_Spoo (Sep 1, 2020)

Basil was a little demon spawn at that age. It's crazy how we missed seeing the fine print when we signed up to raise a puppy.

It might help your sanity by getting a few hours away from him for a break.. get a coffee or get a good run in. 

Is there any chance you can pawn him off at grandma/grandpa's? Or just leave him at home in a safe area for an hour or two?


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## Dianaleez (Dec 14, 2019)

It sounds like he has a lot of energy that he doesn't know how to work off. You might want to try tiring him out in the garden with fetch and something like a flirt pole. I sometimes just sit outside with Normie and let him sniff around and chase the birds flying overhead.

When Normie was a puppy he was afraid to walk down our street because he was sometimes barked at by the neighbor's fenced dog. So we found a different place to walk. Now that he's older, he's not frightened of the other dog. 

There's a reason your dog doesn't like walks. Is it fear? or are you walking too fast for him? 
or does he not like his harness? There are a lot of good dog training videos on this that you can google.

good luck


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## Sole0102 (Nov 23, 2020)

fjm said:


> This too shall pass! At 18 weeks old this is all normal behaviour - I know it must feel as if you have tried everything but it takes time, consistency and perseverance over many weeks. I am sure others going through the same traumas will be along soon with advice and commiserations, but remember, you are allowed to close the door on him and take a breather sometimes.
> 
> Did anything happen to worry him outside on walks? Or could it be a change in the weather? I would treat walks as socialising rather than exercise - take him somewhere where you can sit together and watch the world go by (not so easy in lockdown, I know), letting him sniff a bit and meet people and dogs and generally learn about life.
> 
> It might be a good idea to join an online puppy class if you have not already done so - it can be reassuring to be in contact with others coping with puppies of similar age, and a good instructor may be able to suggest stratagems you have not thought of.


Thank you for your reply. I am finding it difficult to properly socialise him because of lockdown. I would normally have him at puppy socialisation classes etc and even when we go out, people are socially distant so he isn't getting that interaction which is a shame. We have had him at the beach and we have a river nearby and he has enjoyed going there but recently he has just sat down. As soon as we get his jacket and harness, he goes and lies in his bed. It is rather cold outside just now but then he is happy in the garden, I think he would spend all day out there, even when it's raining. Maybe something has scared him and I like your suggestion about sitting and watching the world go by. I will definitely give that a try.


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## Sole0102 (Nov 23, 2020)

cowpony said:


> Puppies can be very demanding and frustrating. It's like having a toddler with fangs. When my pup Galen was that age I nicknamed him "the little monster" because he was just so annoying.
> 
> Something that helped a lot was to start him on clicker training. It got his little brain working and installed the first stages of self control. By giving him something correct to do, instead of asking him not to do things, I was able to improve his behavior. It was rather amusing at first, because his whole attitude conveyed he believed he was ordering me to give him treats. He just needed to figure out the right way to issue the command to ensure I understood. At first he would haphazardly wobble into a sit. Then, when that got him a treat, he would plop his little rump down firmly and give me an authoritative glare.
> 
> Going on walks with puppies that age has always been difficult. Sometimes they are just too unfocused and want to spend the whole time chewing on things. Other times they are truly nervous and just don't want to stray far from home. I've always had my puppies in a multi-dog household, so I usually got around the problem by taking the puppy out in the company of some of the other family members. After we lost Pogo my husband and I continued walking Galen together at night. Galen wouldn't go out with either of us alone at night, but he was willing when he had both.


I'm glad that I am not the only one experiencing this 😀 I have to say that he has never once broken skin or even bitten hard enough to leave marks so I am guessing that he has some kind of control over his bite. It's just that he turns into a little devil from nowhere and he is a great boy otherwise. I love him so much. I have been reading about clicker training and I think it would be good to help him to learn. We have been using 'focus Cooper' if he is doing anything that we don't want and he does respond to that and gets a treat when he does. The only time he doesn't respond is when he is hyped up. 
There is always 2 of us on walks with him. When he sits or lies down in the street, we stand still and chat to each other and ignore him. After a couple of minutes he starts walking but then a few moments later, he sits back down. As soon as he moves in the right direction, we treat and praise him. I'm hoping that with patience and consistency he will soon learn that the outstanding world is exciting.


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## For Want of Poodle (Feb 25, 2019)

Is there a pattern to when he is especially bitey? I found with my dog that enforced nap time was necessary when she got overly bitey. She seemed to be like a toddler overtired and no longer able to control herself. An hour later, I would take her out of the crate and presto! I had my sweet puppy back. 

As for walks, how far are you going? I liked to do dog led walks on a long lead at that age. 4 tiny walks a day are much better than one or two longer ones. No goals to go anywhere, just sniffing running, and inspecting things at the puppy's pace. If you are treating and praising for going forward - I would also try and do it not just immediately after a stop


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## CieCie (Dec 27, 2020)

Winnie will be 15 weeks tomorrow and every day is a new day with her. Yesterday she was so chill and only needed 1 short timeout late in the afternoon and I can tell today already we will be more challenged to remain the adults and not lose our cool. There are more teeth and A LOT OF FEISTY!! I agree that you need to take a break. It gives you both time to breathe and calm down and we almost always open the crate door to a much sweeter pup. This is our second time raising a super smart standard pup and I find comfort in knowing we will have a wonderful joyful loving girl after the puppy headaches. We see the love and joy now but it's scattered here and there amongst the chewing, biting, jumping and all around puppiness. Give Cooper a hug and tell him you love him and hang in there. It's been said before but it bears repeating THIS TO SHALL PASS!


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## PowersPup (Aug 28, 2020)

I share many of your feelings. Raising a puppy - especially a very smart puppy - is a lot of work. I keep thinking that I'm not doing enough training, even though he's a star in obedience school and nose work class. I have found that he loves playing training games, and taking just 5 or 10 minutes to work on sit, down, go to mat, break, collar grab, hand targeting, etc., engages him and and makes him really happy! After a training session we play tug or fetch (now that he's teething) and then he settles down for a chew or other type of self-study. Every time I start to doubt myself (or my puppy), I come back to this forum and find support. 

Walking was a problem for us until I discovered the very magical Peanut Butter Spoon. Spread a thin layer of peanut butter on the end of a wooden spoon. Lure your puppy to your side with the spoon - give him a taste, then walk forward a step or two and lure him to your side with the spoon. As your puppy gets more confident, you can lure less frequently. Between lures/rewards, tip the spoon up by bending your elbow. Pretty soon your puppy will walk forward willingly to get a lick of peanut butter. The trainer in our level 1 obedience class was super impressed with how quickly my puppy caught on to walking without pulling. Now that Topper is walking better, I start our walks by having him sit at my side and feeding treats. I take a couple of steps, ask him to sit (now he offers an automatic sit) and reward him. I only ask for a few steps of this "on-duty" walking before letting him have his freedom to sniff and romp a little. The only rule is that he can't pull me. If he pulls, I stop to remind him. I often see what he is pulling toward, and let him go to his destination as long as he doesn't pull me. I try hard to remember how good the walks are when the other behaviors disappoint me.


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## Sole0102 (Nov 23, 2020)

Thank you for all of the responses. This forum has been a great help to me. I am noticing that tiredness could be linked to his bitey behaviour. We don't walk him far, there is a patch of grass 2 minutes from home and we take him there. He has actually been pretty well behaved today and we have spent a lot of time in the garden playing fetch with 2 balls, he loves to do this. I also invested in a snuffle mat for him to encourage him to use his nose, he can sniff anything a mile away 😀 I think we sometimes forget that he is still so young and that he won't always be like this. We have had him for 11 weeks now and it feels like he has been here forever, he has slotted in perfectly. I definitely have been more frustrated with myself than him, trying to figure out what he needs and where I'm going wrong. Your suggestions are great and I will definitely try all of them.

Thanks again.

P.s I give him hugs and tell him I love him far too many times a day lol


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## Rose n Poos (Sep 22, 2017)

Sole0102 said:


> I give him hugs and tell him I love him far too many times a day lol


There is no such thing as too much of this .


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