# Am I a puppy parent failure?



## twyla (Apr 28, 2010)

Nope you are not a failure, I know you are tired you are going to have to up your game. It's time for brain games. I have little poodles, Beatrice was a tough puppy, I had to wear her out mentally and physically, she is such a good girl now.

Take a deep breath you will get through this


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## scooterscout99 (Dec 3, 2015)

I also stopped walking when my spoo discovered squirrels. Then I picked up a gentle leader collar. I still choose areas to walk with fewer trees to minimize the quarry! BTW, he was a perfect little walker, and so focused on me, up to 6 months of age; I thought that I had it made!

My boy (now 2 years) has been a lot of work, feels like I was constantly managing behavior, but I’m starting to sense a shift. There was a lot of ‘it’s your choice.’ There were times that it would take 10 minutes to get out the door because he would take that long to meet the criteria—butt on the floor and eye contact. And sometimes the solution was/is a time out in his crate—not punitive, and it hasn’t affected his relationship with the crate. But he can be rough with my other dog, half his size.

I figured that this was part of the package when I went looking for an agility dog. And I do see other dogs of his ilk among my instructors, high drive, lots of energy. Fortunately, they see his potential in the ring and I see how much he enjoys playing. It was so much work to build drive in my other dog.


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

When you are tired it is easy to see failures more than successes, but it sounds like you have had lots of success. 7 months is a tough age since it is roughly like having a human teenager. The good news is that teenagers grow up.

My Lily sounds like she shares a lot of youngster traits with your pup. She was wildly mouthy, turned into a forever counter surfer (have never licked that, just modified our behavior as to what sits on counters) and still can be egged on to crazy behavior on the arrival of guests. Since your dog sounds so similar I might suggest trying a performance sport like obedience, rally or agility as a way to deepen your bond and give your girl a brain draining activity.

Some dogs will always destroy toys, but Lily and Peeves have settled down as they have aged (Javelin doesn't care much about toys). We didn't do anything to train on that. For guests and the cats a solid static and attention oriented behavior like a rock solid sit or down and really reliable leave it and recall behaviors will go a long way to help with those situations.

Don't be afraid to use your pinch collar, but do make sure you use it correctly. It should fit so it stays up high on the dog's neck right behind the ears with just a bit of give. There should not be constant pressure. You add or remove links as needed to get the right fit. The other thing is to never pop the leash when a dog is wearing a pinch collar. The whole point is for the dog to decide when it doesn't like the pressure. The other thing to do is to have your leash hooked to a back up flat collar in case you haven't closed the links properly and the pinch collar lets go. Virtually every dog I know who is in performance obedience training works happily with a pinch collar. I actually think they are safer than an unlimited choke collar.


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## pao_uk (Dec 30, 2017)

she sounds like trouble 

1. herm sprenger collar will not help. it will probably just dig into her throat and rip her fur. ouch nope.

try gentle leader and this https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41m6E68VZzL.jpg

we have this harness and it really helped. if you are using standard harness its almost designed to make dogs pull.

2. if she chases cats (just like my puppy do) keep her on a leash

3. swallows toys> buy her BIGGER more durable toys lol 

4. she sounds like she is full of energy. dont skip walks!! l hated walking with Biscuit. l was frustrated and was getting very angry.

invest in really good no pull harnes and all other ones.

how is her social life? do you meet with other puppies? make sure you do! if you dont know anyone - search online. playing with pupps will drain her energy a lot.


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

pao_uk said:


> she sounds like trouble
> 
> 1. *herm sprenger collar will not help. it will probably just dig into her throat and rip her fur. ouch nope*.
> 
> ...



I truly disagree with you about the pinch collar. And I have had client dogs who pulled wearing all sorts of harnesses including gentle leaders and head haltis. That being said the OP should do her own research and choose a tool she is confident in using properly.


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## Asta's Mom (Aug 20, 2014)

Sounds like you have a rebellious teenager on your hands. Be assured it does get better - don't feel like you are a failure. Give yourself time out - put her in a crate for awhile and get yourself a glass of wine.


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## Mfmst (Jun 18, 2014)

Another of our experienced dog trainers, Eric, once wrote that just because poodles are smart doesn’t mean they are easy to train. That and Lily CD’s experiences with the puppy, Lily, helped me soldier on. Take the long view towards poodle perfect, I have Buck went from terrible teen to acting like an annoying frat boy freshman in college. He started to improve by two and finally, finally is becoming the dog I wanted at three. Read “When Pigs Fly, by Jane Killion, Ruff Love by Susan Garrett, and watch some of Kikopup’s YouTube training sessions. Work on it everyday, whether it’s in your kitchen or out in the yard. Keep your sense of humor, optimism and kindness. Absolutely celebrate every success!


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## scooterscout99 (Dec 3, 2015)

lily cd re said:


> That being said the OP should do her own research and choose a tool she is confident in using properly.


Yes, trial and error to see what works for you. The front connect harness wasn’t a success for us. At least you know from the responses that you are not alone and you’re not a failure.


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## MollyMuiMa (Oct 13, 2012)

It'll all sort itself out! Puppies are hard work! Just remember to be consistent, make everyday a training day even if it is a 30 second lesson on "SIT!" Lots of rewards and firmness tendered with kindness will eventually bring you that dog of your dreams! Now go hug Iris and tell her to sit! LOL!


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## Skylar (Jul 29, 2016)

pao_uk said:


> she sounds like trouble
> 
> 1. herm sprenger collar will not help. it will probably just dig into her throat and rip her fur. ouch nope.
> 
> ...


pao_uk I find it interesting that you feel it rips out fur. I train at two clubs where there are dogs in conformation and their owners are doing everything they can to protect their coats for the show ring. They use Herm sprenger collars on their dogs and they would never use that kind of harness for fear of damaging the coat. Of course you must never pull on the leash when it's attached to that type of collar - the only time the dog gets the pinch reinforcement is when she/he pulls.

OTOH I do know people who are successful with pao_uk's type harness and other's whose dogs pulled until they cut themselves and bled. If you research here on PF you'll find some of these types of complaints.

I tried the PetSafe Gentle Leader Head Collar and my dog hated it - she would run away when she saw it but I know a couple of people whose dogs walk beautifully on this. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00074L52...t=&hvlocphy=9052576&hvtargid=pla-353353128459

My dog pulls off and on - in some places she's great but walking in the park with friends she continues to pull and it's my fault because I'm not taking the time to properly train her there - this is one place where she can be a regular dog. 

I have tried several techniques. One is whatever direction your dog is pulling, choose to go some other random direction and circle around then go back walking the direction you planned. I got too dizzy doing this.

Another technique is to go the exact opposite direction calling your dog and giving a treat - this worked a little better.

What works best for me is when my dog pulls - I say "pulling" and I stand completely still and I won't move no matter how excited she it to forward until she circles back and gets into a heel position - and only then do we move forward.

I mention all of these ideas because I have found that there are sometimes more than one way to train and some will work better for you and your dog. It's hard work but it will pay off with a well behaved dog for many years to come.


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## asuk (Jan 6, 2017)

You are not a puppy parent failure. I am in the same camp, milo is generally very good. I hate that he goes mental when someone is at the door. He doesn't bark like a banshee, just 1 bark to alert us which is great since I don't really hear the door if the person knocks gently. But once anyone comes in, he just goes berserk with the jumping and the excitedness. From day 1, we have gotten him to sit when we walked in the door amd not pay any attention when he is a nutcase. And we are still training this at 8 months!

I think it's general puppy behaviour, and with us leading into teenage phase, I can sometimes see him thinking.lol. Like when I give him a command, he looks at me like, hmm..should I come? Does she have a treat? It's hilarious but can get annoying. 

The bitey phase was a long process, he used to use his teeth a fair bunch with the kids. Not drawing blood but more play and some holey pjs and tshirt. I taught the kids to end playtime and move away from him. He now understands to play nice or playtime is over. It worked for us.

I do not take my eyes off milo, I feel he can't be trusted.he doesn't swallow stuff which i thank my lucky stars daily but like any kid, a quiet kid is usually a kid up to no good.lol

I find walks great for me, maybe boring to milo. Milo doesn't care for walks but if I let him explore at his own pace, with a decent amount of sniffing, he is usually pooped when we get home. He is small so 20-30 mins of this "exploration" seems to satisfy him. Running also tires him. 

I wish you good luck!

P/s, I have an easy walk harness for him. When I clip it on the back and he goes explore. When I clip the leash on the front, it's almost like he knew, ok, now I must walk next to mum.


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## pao_uk (Dec 30, 2017)

agree, trial and error with harnesses but 7mth old puppy doesn't need metal bracelet that digs into her neck just because humans are frustrated.
we are talking poodle baby not old rottweiler here.


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## ericwd9 (Jun 13, 2014)

*Never Give Up.*

It is early days yet with your rambunctious teenager. You have made progress and with patience and application you will continue to do so. As a famous man once said "never give up":alberteinstein:









Eric


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

pao_uk said:


> agree, trial and error with harnesses but 7mth old puppy doesn't need metal bracelet that digs into her neck just because humans are frustrated.
> we are talking poodle baby not old rottweiler here.


All of my dogs have been happy to wear pinch collars since they were adolescents. I was not frustrated with them, just needed a different tool. Harnesses are great for toy breeds with delicate necks, but then again I know obedience people who use pinch collars on poms and chis. No training with any tool should be done from a perspective of being frustrated. If the human is so frustrated they can't collect their own head then they need to stop that training session since the dog will read the frustration and not be able to work well.

pao_uk it seems we will have to agree to disagree about this tool. The OP was smart enough to get a poodle so I imagine she is smart enough to do the research to decide for herself what will work for her and her dog.


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## notquite (Nov 17, 2016)

You are def. not a failure! You’re just tired but you’re working hard to improve her behavior  and everyone is right! 7 months is a HARD age! 

Generally, as they get a little older and wiser, they settle down. I don’t know what all you’ve been using to tire her out, but have you tried Kong’s, puzzle toys, and scent games? Work her brain and it should calm her down with a little less effort on your part. 

I also recently read a book about calming signals from dogs to help settle them down. Maybe this is something that can help. It also recommended that when a dog jumps to turn your back on them. 

It’s really just going to come down to patient consistency. Which I know is not the answer you want, but it’s the only way to power through those tough months [emoji30]

Good luck!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Mufar42 (Jan 1, 2017)

All my dogs have also worn pinch collars. When fitted properly they do not dig into the neck nor do they rip fur. I found them very humane as your not tugging or yanking on the dogs neck. They simply squeeze and the dog itself backs off. I have had much success.


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## JudyD (Feb 3, 2013)

We have two standards. Jazz, who's five, has been reliably free in the house since before she was a year old. Blue will be four in March. He's a counter-surfer and occasional eater of things he shouldn't eat, so we still--and will always--crate him when we're gone. Both dogs are power chewers. We buy the most durable toys we can find, monitor them closely, and dispose of any that are going to pieces. As a precaution, Blue is never given toys when he's crated. 

Because they have such deep chests and high tuck-ups, I've never found a harness that fits properly. I have used the Herm-Sprenger collars, now use Gentle Leaders on both dogs, who walk nicely with them most of the time. Jazz does still pull when she hits a hot scent trail, and Blue loses his mind over squirrels, but we expect that and accommodate to it.

They both get very excited when guests first arrive. If it's someone who comes frequently, they know the rules--ignore the dogs, don't make eye contact, turn your back if necessary. If they're infrequent guests, the dogs aren't allowed in to living room until they've had a chance to cool off, and then only one, then the other, and back to the bedroom if they're too excited. They usually do calm down eventually, but I don't inflict them on people who don't like dogs (not that we know very many of those people).

My point is that, despite constant training and attention, my dogs aren't perfect. They're funny, smart, beautiful, athletic, cuddly, loving, but not perfect, so we've made allowances and work around the not-perfect parts. 

You're not a failure. You and the dogs, like the rest of us here, are a work in progress. :smile:


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

JudyD nobody's dog(s) are perfect. You aim to do the best you caan with the dog in front of you (as you well know).


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## blueroan (Dec 28, 2015)

You can do it!!! Teenagehood is hard! 

No experience with pinch collars as I've only had little ones. Normally walk my current mpoo in a harness. If however, she's being bratty I do actually hook the leash to both the harness AND collar (I guess you get that choke collar effect) and settles her down pretty quick. 

I have walked the previous tpoo in a gentle leader as he'd try to charge other dogs. Gentle Leader cut that out pretty quickly, and of course he'd try to get it off lol (so he could charge hahaha). Smart poodle genes. 

But play around and see what works for you. The worst thing though is to feel frustrated...you communicate that right down the leash. Try to make it as positive for YOU as well as your dog. Talk to her, play music to keep your rhythm, whatever works for you to stay in your happy place outside.


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## Click-N-Treat (Nov 9, 2015)

Think back. Remember when you were 13 and all the adults you knew suddenly became stupid? They got all bent out of shape over the dumbest things. You knew everything and adults didn't understand you at all. Remember being 13? 

Your dog is a teen. Teenage dogs are like teenage children. They push limits and stretch boundaries because they have to. Everything inside their head is telling them to push their world wider. Your job is to make sure that as she pushes her boundaries and limits, you remain in the center position, the most important, most wonderful, most best thing in the world. And you can do that.

Everything you did when your puppy was brand new and tiny, do again. Supervise every second. When you can't supervise, crate. Put a leash on the dog and let her drag it around behind her. Grab the leash and reign her in when she gets out of line. Praise her for getting it right, and make a big deal out of being quiet, waiting by the door, siting for meals. Show her all the yes behaviors you do want.

Expect your teen to pressure you and throw tantrums. You have to be the parent and step in with strong limits and fun in equal measure. You're in charge. She is not. Bring the discipline and bring the praise. If you do both, great things are ahead. I promise. I promise.


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## ozmommi (Nov 13, 2017)

Click n Treat, thank you for taking the time to write this last post. I needed to hear these words as I am sure the person who started the thread does. I am frustrated too. I have never, honestly ever, doubted my abilities when it comes to training dogs. Now I'm thinking that in my 55 years I have just been lucky with the puppies ive brought home. They must have all been perfect dogs. This little booger I am raising now has got me stumped. I mean seriously, my neighbors actually call me the dog whisperer, and now I know that I have must have chosen angels for all of my dogs. 
But I just want to sincerely thank you for your words of wisdom,because it is exactly what I, and I'm sure a few of us needed to hear. 


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

I missed Click-N-Treat's post when she put it up since it was my mom's birthday and we were doing family things in various ways. But she is wonderfully right in her analysis of the mind of the teenage dog!

I will add that although poodles are by and large canine geniuses having a smart dog doesn't make it an easy dog by any way of thinking. Poodles are too smart for lengthy drills, but need thoughtful challenging things to do. If not provided with sufficient opportunities for such they turn into evil geniuses. I have good dogs, but withing the last 24 hours, I had Lily refuse her breakfast, Javelin barfy so didn't finish his (Lily did), but then despite having eaten a larger than normal breakfast yesterday Lily helped herself to most of a box of triscuits which meant she didn't eat her leftover breakfast for dinner either............you get the picture. And at my house Lily is the grown up, Javelin is the bratty teenager.


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## snow0160 (Sep 20, 2016)

Click’s post is very well written and makes sense of the process. Being a teenager is something we all go through. It was awkward and crazy times for us all, esp with the raging hormones. Of course it is the same for one’s pup. 

Catherine, having met Lily, it is hard to see her as the crazy wild child. Once the teenage period is over, you are over the hurdle. You’ve clearly put in a lot of work to have such a well behaved dog. When people see well behaved poodles they assume it was easy from the start. 

I like Eric’s Churchill quote. I might not see eye to eye with Churchill’s politics but he certainly has some inspirational wisdom. 

To the OP: I can understand your pain with a 7 month old. I currently have a 13 month old dog and not long ago she was driving me insane at 7 months. She gone through a huge energy spike around 7/8 months and became a lot more demanding. For this period we signed up for two 6 week classes at the akc club and private trainer. The purpose was not to find the best trainer but an outlet where she had to learn obedience. It definitely made a huge difference because it gave us structure and foundation for obedience.

On the Gentle Leader: We never use the gentle leader on Lucky because it doesn’t work so well for him. Putting it on Lucky drives him crazy and he will pull even harder. Pulling on this can seriously hurt him. It works well on Kit, (livestock guardian breed) who is a much bigger dog. She doesn’t react to the gentle leader like Lucky and will automatically stop pulling. Her breed is a lot slower moving and does not have poodle energy and are more tolerant of restraints (like a horse harness). The gentle leader is simply a restraint and will not train your dog to not pull. If you want to teach them to heel properly, you need to have a proper training session using training tools like martingale, pinch, or choke collars. I repeat that Gentle leaders is not a training tool and does not work for every dog. For any special collar including (the pinch collar, gentle leader..etc), please make sure you are using it properly. For instance, you never pull with the gentle leader. 
Finally, don’t forget that a patience and praises go a long way! Hang in there!


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## Click-N-Treat (Nov 9, 2015)

All the tips, and I do mean all of the tips, on loose leash walking assume that you can get your dog to remember you exist. None of these worked.

Stand still like a tree. When your dog stops pulling, move forward. This was not written by a poodle person. A poodle will use your stopping as an opportunity to run in wild circles around you. You will look very stupid.

Turn around and walk in the other direction. Your poodle will run right past you the other way and strain on the leash. Your walk is exactly one sidewalk square to the left, one sidewalk square to the right. You will look very stupid.

Click and offer a reward when the dog is next to you. Your poodle will be next to you only as long as it takes to blow directly past you in the opposite direction. You will look very stupid. 

Work on walking on a leash indoors first before taking it outside. You will train your poodle to walk on a leash wonderfully indoors. Once you are outside, you are attached to a bullet train in a poodle suit. You will look very stupid, and sometimes like a kite.

Offer your dog a treat when she is at your side. Your poodle will eat the treat, say thank you, and continue pulling like the lead dog in a sled race. You will look very stupid.

None of these things helped. Here's what did.

I used a front clip harness to get Noelle's attention so we could even start working on loose leash walking. It helped about 25% of the time, so it was a starting place. My next step was teaching two incompatible behaviors.

Teach your dog to flip finish. https://thebark.com/content/teach-your-dog-flip-finish-trick Encourage your dog to do a leaping finish with sizzle and flare. 




Reward this trick with the best treats you can imagine. Reward it all day long. While you are on the front porch before a walk, call Finish, and reward. Every time your dog pulls, stop, in a happy voice, call FINISH! This will short circuit the dog's brain from yanking your arm to giving them something fun to do. You will walk one sidewalk square. Finish! Walk another sidewalk square. Finish! You will look very stupid, BUT, your poodle will start to remember you exist on walks, and that is a huge leap forward.

Teach your poodle to walk backwards. As with the finish move, practice go back up as a fun silly trick. If your poodle is anything like my poodle, she responds to your playful silly better than any other tone of voice. You playful silly = your poodle paying rapturous attention. Young poodles are made of 50% dog and 50% frolic. Use the frolic gene in your training. Remember to frolic with your poodle. You will look very stupid, BUT, your poodle will love you for it and pay more attention.

Train behaviors that are the exact opposite of pulling, like whirling into a happy sit at your side, or walking backward instead, can help your poodle remember you exist on a walk. Another thing that helped was a longer leash. Four feet = constant yanking. Six feet = semi-constant yanking. 

Go for walks anyway, the more you avoid it, the worse the pulling will get. You can do this, and figure out what works for your poodle. These helped me, I hope they help you, too.


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## CharismaticMillie (Jun 16, 2010)

Don't worry. You aren't a failure! Sounds like a typical 7 month old puppy. Hang in there!!!!!!!!


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## CharismaticMillie (Jun 16, 2010)

Skylar said:


> pao_uk I find it interesting that you feel it rips out fur. I train at two clubs where there are dogs in conformation and their owners are doing everything they can to protect their coats for the show ring. They use Herm sprenger collars on their dogs and they would never use that kind of harness for fear of damaging the coat. Of course you must never pull on the leash when it's attached to that type of collar - the only time the dog gets the pinch reinforcement is when she/he pulls.


This is very true. I avoid using a prong collar unless my training limitations make it so that it's necessary for "quality of life" on a walk, especially with an adolescent in show coat. Nothing ruins coat worse than a collar sliding around the neck while the dog pulls. At least a prong sits in one spot and the dog doesn't pull. I don't like to use it unless I am really struggling otherwise, though. And I don't use it for "obedience training". Just occasionally for control on a walk.


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## Click-N-Treat (Nov 9, 2015)

My next tool was going to be a prong with Noelle if my front clip harness failed. Prongs can be useful things on walks, especially with a young strong dog.


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