# Do I need to find my standard poodle a new home?



## sweetheartsrodeo (Sep 19, 2012)

I think that you have to stop and think about what is best for her. You made a commitment to her by adopting her that you would take care of her. She cannot take care of herself. I understand the frustration of waking up to clean up a mess. My spoo spent a month acting out because something was off with me. It sounds to me that you keep saying you do not have the money to take care of her, find some one who is able to take care of her medical and grooming needs. Sometimes re-homing a pet is the best thing that you can do for them. Can you call her breeder and ask them to take her back or help you find a home for her?


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## joedjax (Aug 28, 2013)

I allot money for her needs. It just happens that my budget got screwed up this week. 
I can do that. I mean, is that what's best for her do you think? I can't see how anyone could have a dog when they work all day.. I don't know how people do it. Or maybe I am just worrying too much.

It's not the money I'm worried about. It's the time. Like, I don't think it's okay to leave her in her crate all day.. Maybe it is? I just don't know.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

I think having a dog while working full time takes a huge amount of effort and commitment - and for a puppy, you can probably quadruple that. Unless you are around to take her out frequently and regularly there is frankly little chance of her being reliably housetrained, and it sounds as if she is also missing out on a lot of the socialising and training that pups need to grow into happy, well adjusted adults. So my answer would be yes - if you cannot supply her with the time and energy that she needs, it would be better to rehome her, and as soon as possible. The development clock is ticking...


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## Caniche (Jun 10, 2013)

I hope you don't put her in a shelter or throw her on Craigslist, but from what you're describing a new home might do everyone well. You don't sound very committed to her - and you have a lot of excuses. To be honest, you made a commitment to care for and love her and do what's best for her. Excuses that you've gotten through a break-up, want to lay around, can't come home on lunch breaks or find someone to let her out, or have a few beers (really?) aren't good enough. She should be a priority - and she's clearly not. I'm not trying to be harsh, but you have a lot of excuses instead of getting to the point. And the point is that you don't want her anymore. And you want verification from us that it's okay. It's not. You can't get rid of someone because it's no longer convenient or your life has changed. I've seen people who've lost their house and still try to find a home for their dogs - people who've fed their dogs instead of themselves. You and your girlfriend aren't playing house anymore so the dog isn't "fun" and now you have other priorities. It isn't the dog's fault. You didn't properly train her, she isn't getting exercised and you don't seem to want to spend time with her - no wonder you haven't bonded! 

Please find her a responsible, loving and deserving home and don't own any dogs for awhile. 


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## patk (Jun 13, 2013)

reading your post, you both sound miserable right now. all day in a cage is not why one gets a dog and it appears that your routine gives little time for the training and interaction that leads to the kind of bonding you say is absent. maybe contact her breeder and see if there is any possibility of the breeder helping out with rehoming. by the way, i am not in favor of treating dogs (or any other pets) as disposables, so that's not what i'm seeing on your part. i see you as very responsible in this situation, or you would not be worrying about the way things are now. someone else who participates in this forum rehomed one of her dogs very successfully and it is clear that both she and the dog (whose new owners still bring him by for visits) benefited. hopefully that will work for you, too.


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## CT Girl (Nov 17, 2010)

I do feel you need to re home her. Ten hours of crating a day is too much especially if she gets only a half an hour walk a day. At this point of your life the responsibility and expense of a dog may be too much of a burden especially without a partner that you can share the expenses and care of the dog. I know you say that this is a hard week but things constantly come up. You should not have to choose between x-rays for yourself and shots/grooming for your dog.

Try wetting a washcloth with warm water and wipe her eyes with this. 

I think you know in your heart it would be best for the dog and best for yourself to give her back to the breeder or find her a good home. It is a difficult thing to face but it is best for both of you to take charge of an untenable situation. I know it is hard. I wanted a dog so much but had to wait years till my schedule and funds allowed me to do so. It is such a difficult decision but it sounds like it is the right thing to do for Lydia.


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## joedjax (Aug 28, 2013)

Ok.. Nevermind. I DO want her. Maybe I didn't properly train her? I've had her for like 6 weeks.. I do work with her, I do spend time with her every day and walk her every day. 

Maybe I did not paint an accurate picture of what I am asking. And no, not being able to come home on lunch breaks or reliably find someone to walk her during the day is not an excuse, but it's the situation I am in. 

You know people who have lost their homes and tried to find a home for their dog? That's all I am asking, too. If it's the right thing to do. 

The dog IS fun. But it's not that I have other priorities, it's that she's now being raised in a home of 1 instead of 2. 

Clearly I struck a nerve in your disillusioned picture of the ACTUAL question I am asking. Because I DO care about the dog. If I didn't I wouldn't be asking for suggestions on how to handle raising a puppy and working full time, OR IF IT WOULD BE BETTER to find her a new home.


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## Poodlebeguiled (May 27, 2013)

I agree with the others in that a new home would benefit you both. I know your morals want this to work. But the reality is...it just isn't. I can't imagine leaving a pup in a crate for that long and that's tearing you up inside. Hurry and make a decision one way or the other and if you decide that what is best for her is a new home, find a stellar home for her. Be free of it and look at it as doing what's best for her. You never planned on doing this alone and I feel for you.


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## joedjax (Aug 28, 2013)

Thanks CT. I think this situation I am in probably happens more often than people admit. It's not that I'm neglectful, or anything like that. The money issue is pretty much a moot point. I shouldn't have even mentioned it. My real issue I'm torn on is the fact that I'm trying to raise a puppy alone, and trying to give an idea of my daily life. I work all day, etc. My only questions for this board was what was the right thing to do. Or, if anyone had any experience raising a puppy alone. (NOT financially, but time wise/work wise)


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## Poodlebeguiled (May 27, 2013)

I am raising two puppies alone plus two other dogs. I'm retired and I can't imagine having to work full time and doing this. Seriously, they're a* TON *of work and they take so much attention it isn't even funny. Every time in my past when I got a puppy, I was not working full time...sometimes part time, sometimes my own business where I could work around them. But never full time and never would I leave a pup in a crate for more than 4 hours in a day. It's just not right imo. I know it's killing you but either you have to have funds for day care or something or find a new home. What a difficult position you're in. My heart goes out to you.


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## Caniche (Jun 10, 2013)

joedjax said:


> Ok.. Nevermind. I DO want her. Maybe I didn't properly train her? I've had her for like 6 weeks.. I do work with her, I do spend time with her every day and walk her every day.
> 
> Maybe I did not paint an accurate picture of what I am asking. And no, not being able to come home on lunch breaks or reliably find someone to walk her during the day is not an excuse, but it's the situation I am in.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry if I made you defensive. That wasn't my intention. I think you do care about the dog - you are on a poodle forum website asking for opinions. I just gave you mine.

Someone who doesn't care would not ask for advice. You did ask, so I'm assuming you care. But you don't have to 'prove' your love for her to me. Again, I was just giving my opinion.

I can sympathize with your money issues. And I think financial issues are a relevant reason for not keeping a dog. Now, when she's young, is a better time to get her a new home as long as you're responsible about it. 

I don't think wanting to stop for drinks after work or hanging around the house are relevant excuses for not caring for your dog, however. You can be offended by that if you want, but that's how I feel. 

I get that you work full time and your situation changed with your girlfriend. And again, I sympathize. Puppies are hard work. And exhausting. But they don't get any easier if you don't properly train, exercise or socialize them. Hoping this will all change with time is a pipe dream.

I truly admire people who work full time and raise a puppy. It takes full commitment, dedication and patience. I feel bad for you that you're suddenly alone with a puppy and working full time with a limited income. Truly my heart goes out to you. I do not feel guilty that you rather be socializing or watching Netflix than playing, training or working with this puppy. I don't think you're being fully committed when you rather go to a bar than walk the puppy. I'm not saying you have to give up your whole life when you get a dog, but I think when you work full time you have to give up some of your indulgences until the puppy is trained and in a routine.

I still think that finding this girl a new home is what's best. Again, I apologize for putting you on the defensive. I suppose I was a bit blunt with my first comment. I hope you find what's necessary in your heart. 





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## Lily's-Mom (May 31, 2012)

It is possible to work full time and raise a puppy, lots of us have done it, but it is a huge commitment and can be very stressful, especially if you have to do it alone. That being said... It does sound like a new home would be in your pup's best interest. Contact her breeder or rescue to discuss rehoming her. Or if you didn't get her from either of those, you could probably contact a poodle rescue -rehoming a puppy wouldn't be difficult. Please don't just give her to the first person that replies to an ad or sell her to the highest bidder - she deserves better than that. Good luck.


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## Suddenly (Aug 8, 2013)

I ditto all of the above. Best Wishes.


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## CT Girl (Nov 17, 2010)

Raising a puppy is super hard. When you got Lydia I am sure you had a plan with your girlfriend planning walks and training ect. Now things have changed radically. These things do happen and now you are figuring out how to cope. If I were in your situation I would also have trouble. If you can't get home in the day you will need a dog walker or doggie daycare. If you worked an eight hour day and you could give your dog a good run in the morning and when you came home it would be doable with a trained dog. For a puppy who is not housebroken I think if you took your vacation and had your dog tethered to you for training purposes you might be able to train her in a two week period. The issue is the longer she makes mistakes the harder it is to break that habit. I am not trying to be hurtful suggesting you re home her but with the issues you described I think it is the best for both of you. A standard poodle puppy is high energy, high maintenance dog that is a handful under the best circumstances. I applaud the fact that you realize things need to change and that you are trying to figure out what is best for Lydia.


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## sweetheartsrodeo (Sep 19, 2012)

joedjax- We all go through difficult times, and I totally understand where you are coming from, and hear the stress in the tone of your message. I do believe that you are trying to make the right choices for you spoo. Perhaps I missed it, but how old is she? If you have only had her six weeks, I think it takes time to bond. I pulled Remington at about a year from a cage in someone's back yard. I was scared of him, and he was not found of me. It took time to build up trust... I now trust Remington with my life, as he is my medical alert dog. He has my heart, and sleeps next to me... But if you will look just a few weeks ago, I was at wits end with him too, and worried if I was not being a good puppy parent and considered rehoming him. I am a teacher, and two days a week work crazy long days. However, when I get home we all go out an potty - I sit outside with a lap full of pups and we get our quality time - some days I sit there for an hour other days it is longer... I use this time to unwind and let the worries of the day go... It is our bonding time. I think that it is very hard to raise a puppy when you work full time, I am blessed to have 2 months off in the summer, and we travel or go to the farm. Keep in mind I have been active in rescue until I reached past capacity for dogs, and I travel with them all... a whole pack of poms and two poodles lol... I hope you find the balance you are looking for...


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## My babies (Aug 14, 2012)

I personally think that you should think about what's best for her. Being in a crate for 10 hours everyday or most days is not a life for a dog. She's a puppy that needs to exercise her body and mind and she's not getting that in her crate. I know it's a very emotional thing thinking about having to rehome your dog but sit back and think about it. She will live till 12 or 15 years old. Is this the life you want for her and yourself?


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## PoodleFoster (May 25, 2013)

joedjax said:


> Long story short.. I've had her for a while now. But, since then. Everything has gone wrong. it's just me and my poodle.
> 
> Well, I feel like I've been neglecting her. Because of our new living arrangement sometimes she's in her crate ALL day. From like 6:30am to 4:30pm. sometimes I come home and all of the stress I've been under I just want to lay around. And My poodle isn't any better at house training than the day I got her...money was set aside for her shots she's due for this week, and I'm not sure what I should do, take her in to the vet, or go and get my foot taken care of. She's due for another checkup, and rabies.. And I don't think I should put that off.
> 
> ...


Hello
I have read and reread your message and this much is clear, you don't have time for your puppy. It requires your time, monetary, and physical commitment to raise a puppy, alone or with a partner/family. 
Stop beating yourself up and wavering on the fence! There is a lot you can do! 
Here you go:
1. Did your poodle come from a breeder? You probably signed a legal contract. Dig it out or if you can't find the paperwork, figure out who the breeder is and phone her.
2. Did your poodle come a pet store, newspaper listing, craigslist ad or a friend or a friend? If so, it's time to call RESCUE.
*rescue is most likely NOT going to pay you money for your poodle. Know that up front. Rescues SAVE poodles by spay/neuter, vaccinating, grooming and preparing your puppy for the best approved home. The donation they as help to pay for these costly requirements.

3. Here is the webpage for Florida rescues, from Poodle Club of America:
Affiliate Clubs, PCA Member Breeders and Poodle Rescue Contacts
4. Be assured that your puppy is going to be placed quickly. Everyone wants puppies and especially females. Her potty issues will be resolved with consistant training and time. Poodles are smart and figure it out. To be direct, yes, a poodle is not in your best interests right now, do the right thing and you'll both benefit.
Good luck


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## cavon (Aug 10, 2010)

I raised Finnegan by myself, while working full time in an executive position and until he was house trained he was crated. I was able to come home at lunch and take him out for a walk and when I was not working, he was my priority.

Once he was house trained and could hold himself all day, he no longer had to be crated. That being said, I too was at my wits end at one point and had thoughts that perhaps I was not the best owner for him. I loved him so dearly that I could not conceive of parting with him, so I searched for a doggie day care for him. I was very fortunate to find one that was not only on my way to work, it limited the number of dogs daily and we had to go through an interview process to be accepted. 

Finnegan went there twice a week for about 8 months and it made the world of difference. He got to socialize and play with dogs all day long in a safe environment and was completely exhausted when I picked him up on my way home. He would fall asleep as soon as he was in the car and when we got home, he just wanted to get on the couch and snooze, sometimes I even had to encourage him to eat his dinner! 

He was having a wonderful time and I had two nights a week where I had a break too. I think that if you could find a situation like this, it would help you incredibly. You could pick your pup up and either just hang out at home, or not feel guilty about meeting friends for some socialization because you know that puppy will be snoozing.

When you are home, it is extremely important to keep on a schedule for potty training. I started taking Finnegan out and walking him up and down my street every twenty minutes and rewarding him with a treat and big cheers when he relieved himself outside. As he grew, I extended the time to 30, 40 then 60 minutes, but still walked him until he pottied and made a big deal about it. I also trained him to go on newspaper in my garage so that if the weather was extremely bad in the winter, I didn't have to worry about getting him out to walk. I was very fortunate, my breeder sent him home with me with a manual that pretty much answered any questions I might have had and if it did not, she replied to my e-mail within a couple of hours with advice, no matter what the question was.

It is obvious that you love your pup, or you would not be so concerned about doing what is right for her. I applaud you for that concern and for being brave enough to ask for help and guidance. I'm sorry that your relationship broke up, but you have another one that will last forever, you just have to get over the puppy hump. You can do it.

I did it and I don't thiat Finnegan turned out any worse for the wear, do you?????


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## cavon (Aug 10, 2010)

another couple of thoughts...

Make sure that your dog's crate is big enough to have a pottie area at one end and a bed at the other. Dogs do not generally like to relieve themselves where they sleep, so put some puppy pads or newspaper (cheaper) at the one end. This will also make clean up easier for you. Check out the Precision wire crates with a plastic tray on the bottom. This is what I purchased. I purchased one big enough to hold Finnegan at his mature size and used the divider that comes with it to make the crate smaller when he was a pup. you don't want to give them too much room for a pot tie area.

At one point Finnegan started tearing up the newspaper I put in the crate and I asked my vet if perhaps he was having a problem and she said no, he is just playing, don't put any more in, he is probably able to hold himself until you get home. This was at around 5-6 months.

Also, why not invite a friend or two over for a beer and to watch a game. Poodles love company!!!

Good luck!


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## Joelly (May 8, 2012)

Yes, to re home her will be a great thing you will ever done for her and yourself. Please do this fast. No more thinking, just do it. Google then contact a poodle rescue team around your area.

Don't feel bad, this is the best thing to do for both of you.


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## Lene (Jan 18, 2013)

I've read all your posts, and saw that you got Lydia from a breeder in Florida in late August... Your breeder needs to be your first point of call... She could quite possibly know of someone who's looking for a young spoo...

Please ask your breeder for advice...


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## joedjax (Aug 28, 2013)

Ok so there are opinions here on both sides of the spectrum... But they're way apart. Some of you think this can be done and others of you say no. Please know that I DO want her. I do want to keep her despite this rough patch and adjusting to this new life. I think some people here think I don't take care of her but that's not the case at all. I take her to an off leash park every other day. I take daily walks with her and she's out as much as possibly. This is however, a change now for both her and I. And I want what's best for her as well, which was my question really. If this can be done, how to make the necessary adjustments so it's fair to her and me. And on the contrary, if it was best for her to find a new home. It seems that both sides of the spectrum are very opinionated. Cavon, thank you for your input and everyone else. But I still need to think about this further.


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## joedjax (Aug 28, 2013)

I've also spoken with a few doggie day cares as well as another option for days I can't make it home. I haven't called her breeder back yet. As I really want that as my last option. But, at the same time I don't want to be selfish about it either. I was really looking for opinions and ideas and tips but 90% of the folks here think I should give her up. And that's probably because I've painted a negative picture based on what I feel. The way I feel she's not getting what she deserves. I do know she still gets more than most dogs, more attention and love than most, but it's just a change. I don't know..


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## Angl (Nov 9, 2012)

Honestly haven't read all of the responses, but I know lots of single people have dogs. 

Maybe one other option would be a dog walking/sitting service. When we had our old guy(golden retriever) there was a service that we used instead of a kennel. 

One of their services was going to your house and walking and playing with your dog during the workday. Sounds like a plan for you if there is a company in your area that does this.


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## louislinus (Jan 23, 2013)

Another vote for doggie daycare! It was a huge help to us when we got our puppy.


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## Tiny Poodles (Jun 20, 2013)

It can be done - if you are willing to make her priority for all of your resources - time and money on a daily basis- if you want to spend every free moment and every free dime on taking care of her, absolutely you can do it.
But if you have any reservations about giving her your all for the next fifteen years, then you should love her enough to let her go now - while she is still young enough to be desirable and trainable by somebody who is ready to make that commitment.


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## Lou (Sep 22, 2012)

I think if you can't afford a dog, if you don't have time, and if you are not emotionally committed you need to let her have a better life. I waited 5 years to get a dog. I needed to be 110% ready to commit and devote myself, and I am now. But I know a person that has a puppy and it's electrolytes were low and he was acting all lethargic and drooling because he wasn't eating and drinking water often enough like a little puppy should, he was kept in a crate all day too.(I paid their vet bill) And the vet recommended feeding often and water available at all times because the puppy got sick from being in the crate all day. I believe we need to be responsible enough to do what is best for these little beings that can't take care of themselves.

Get a dog some day in the future, it sounds like you are not ready. 
It makes you a better person to let her have the life she deserves. Make sure that if the breeder doesn't take her back that you charge an adoption fee at least, don't just give her away to someone that might abuse or mistreat her.
Good luck with everything



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## grab (Jun 1, 2010)

Lou said:


> because the puppy got sick from being in the crate all day.


While I don't condone keeping a puppy in a crate excessively, the time the puppy was in a crate had no bearing on his illness. Not taking in adequate food/water, made him ill. Both of those things can be provided, even in a crate.

Brooks is crated when we're at work and he has a bucket of water in there, lest he be thirsty


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## Lou (Sep 22, 2012)

grab said:


> While I don't condone keeping a puppy in a crate excessively, the time the puppy was in a crate had no bearing on his illness. Not taking in adequate food/water, made him ill. Both of those things can be provided, even in a crate.
> 
> Brooks is crated when we're at work and he has a bucket of water in there, lest he be thirsty


I don't know the conditions this particular puppy is in. Crate to me is like a plastic crate where the dog can sleep, kennel is bigger with water and potty area. (Different people call these, different names) and the puppy I talked about was in a small crate that only has enough space for him to lay down/stand/turn around and nothing else. So no water no food all day.


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## Indiana (Sep 11, 2011)

I would return her to the breeder; I'm not judging you, but you got your hands full girlfriend. What if things get worse? I don't know how old she is, but if she's a puppy she's going to go through the chewing phase, the naughty phase, the running away and ignoring you phase...or she could need a big vet procedure that would set you back hundreds or a couple thousand dollars. You need to get your ankle looked at because that could get infected or heal wrongly. You're a person, and your needs have to come first, but also there's someone out there that is in a place where your dog could be their reason for getting up in the morning, so don't feel guilty. You need to be with people, socializing and getting over your breakup right now. Let her go to a home where she's treasured and don't feel bad about it.


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## Caniche (Jun 10, 2013)

I'm confused. I don't think anyone here assumed you didn't care for her. But a standard poodle (puppy nonetheless) is A LOT of work. They're a demanding and high-energy breed. They take commitment and devotion.

If you have that, great. I wish you the best. I guess I'm just confused by your comments. One moment you can't afford you doctor's bills and her's, and then money isn't an issue. Next you're not home often and can't take her out every day and now you're walking her all the time. You ask for honest opinions on your situation and then appear to be frustrated when 90% of the people say it's best for both of you to give her up.

Here are some facts:

Standard poodles require a lot of exercise

It's possible to train a puppy while working full-time, but it's extremely difficult

Dogs are expensive, exhausting and time-consuming...especially puppies

Puppies are much easier to rehome than adult dogs

I'm not telling you what to do. But I'm not going to tell you that leaving your puppy in a crate while you work full time and then go out to drinks after work is okay. It has to be a priority. 

I'm sorry if people aren't telling you what you want to here - but we've heard your situation and are trying to help, which is what you asked for. I don't envy your choice - it's a very hard one. But it has to be one you both can live with. 



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## Shiloh (Sep 7, 2013)

I have been single most of my life and have raised many a fine dog. I also work full time and was going to school at one point. My dogs are crated for 6-10 hours a day 5 days a week. The evenings are spent playing and walking and weekends are for the dogs! 
My dogs are happy and healthy, well socialized, attend training classes, competed in AKC events and gone to many dog related functions. There is not one right way to raise a dog. As long as they are healthy, happy, loved and made a priority I see no problem with any doggy lifestyle. 


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## KristaLynn (Mar 22, 2012)

I would suggest you contact your breeder and ask their advise! They will have raised lots of poodles and can tell you what to expect from their lines in terms of needs and behaviours and will likely have some tips for you!

My puppy is now 8 months old had her since she was 9 weeks. My first puppy, only my second dog and I'm single and I work full time! I don't have any channels on my tv, can't remember the last time I saw a movie in theatre, left the drama club, haven't been to a bar in years, the librarians thought I had died I used to go borrow books every week before I got a puppy now I've read maybe 5 books since I got her. And I'm 30!! Party on!!


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

I think if you love your pup you need to take a long, hard look at the next months and years. Is she getting several happy, positive experiences meeting new people and nice dogs every day - different shapes, sizes and kinds of both? Is she getting an hour or two sniffing, smelling, learning, growing her mind every day? Is she getting fun and games, and training every day? These are the things she needs now, as a puppy, to develop properly - they cannot be skimped or postponed, or easily made up for later.

Over the coming months she will need consistent, regular training, yet more socialising, and increasing amounts of exercise. What is sufficient at 4 months will be about half of what she needs at 8 months, and possibly a quarter of what she needs at 12+. Then she will hit adolescence, and there is a reason why so many adolescent dogs end up in rescue - they can be hell to live with! Once through that stage, at around 2 years old, you will reap what you have sown in the early months - a well socialised, well trained dog you can take anywhere, or an anxious, reactive animal that tries to scare away everything that frightens her, or something in between. But she must still be your priority - no going out after work unless you have made arrangements for her, no impromptu days out, or staying away overnight without planning ahead, etc, etc.

Yes, you can raise a puppy on your own while working full time - witness the people on here who have done it. I doubt any of them would say it is the ideal way to go about it though. Most of them will either have worked close to home, so they can get back in the middle of the day, and/or had a support network of relatives, friends, daycare and dog walkers in place. All of them will have sacrificed their social lives, vacation time and disposable income, and done it cheerfully because to them the puppy was the most important thing in their lives.

Think about how your life might change in the next few years - a new relationship, that will take time and focus to build; building your career, with the time, stress and energy that needs; possibly travel, for work or pleasure; changing jobs and moving house; and all the other things that go with being young and finding where you want to go in life. All of these can be combined with owning dogs, but for all of them dogs are a complicating factor. 

If you decide to keep your pup, the commitment must be for life, recognising that things are likely to become much more difficult over the next year or two as she goes through adolescence. At the moment she is young enough to easily find a new home, and to catch up on any socialising and training you may be unable to give her; in a month or two that will be more difficult - and as a big, unruly adolescent very difficult indeed.

I know this may sound negative, but I think it is realistic. The bottom line is that if you are not able to give her the time and energy that she needs, now and into the future, it would be better for both of you to rehome her as soon as possible. If you can commit to making her your top priority for the next year or two, and a very high priority - second only to human family - for the rest of her life, then I would start by looking into pet insurance for health care and a savings plan for routine expenses, into training classes, dog walkers and daycare, and establish a routine of early morning walks before work, someone to take her out midday, and walks after work. 

To put some figures around this commitment, two walks a day would only need to be 20 minutes or so at the moment, increasing to more like an hour twice a day when she is fully grown. Another 1.5 - 2 hours or so a day playing/training/feeding/grooming her, with more at weekends. Financially, I would reckon on planning for £1000/$1500+ for the first year depending on your prices locally, to cover routine health care, spaying, food, grooming, training classes, etc, with more for daycare or dog walking, and for kennelling if you are away. Vet bills should be less in subsequent years, unless and until a major health issue occurs - insurance for the first year or two until you have saved a good financial cushion is highly recommended.


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## Luce (Mar 4, 2013)

Hi Joe, sorry to hear of your breakup - it is hard being alone after a relationship. But you are not alone!!! You have a poodle!!

Sorry this is going to be all over the place, I’m just trying to get out the things I remember.

I am not raising my puppy, a mpoo – Luce - totally alone but it sure seems like it 99% of the time! My Significant Other is disabled and hasn't been the "co-parent" I was envisioning and expected. The night before we got Luce, he was rushed to the hospital and had another 2 trips the following 2 months with a 3 day stay on the last trip. By the way, he’s the one who has wanted a dog for years! Thankfully I have been a great friend to 2 women who have in return been a great friend to me by checking in on the S.O. and taking Luce for a walk. If you could ask a relative, neighbor or friend to help you out with this for a while, it could be a game changer. Maybe you could do something for them in trade.

I work full time - leave the house at noon and get home anytime from 10pm - midnight. And man is she a handful !! She wants to play, play, play!

What's a bar?? What's a movie theater? Lol I put in a garden last year – this year it is pathetic!! But, I felt it was worth sacrificing to spend time training and bonding with Luce – she will be with me for 15 years or so! There is always next year for the garden

There were PLENTY of days, nights, afternoon etc. where I thought "WHY DID I GET A PUPPY?!?!?!?!?!? I MUST BE CRAZY!!!!!!!

The BEST thing I did was sign up for puppy training classes at my local Petco - I love the trainer, she has been a Godsend for helping with all sorts of issues, even if it's just a ear to talk to for a few minutes. Plus you get to meet other puppy parents and your puppy will work on social graces.

I totally failed with crate training - but - playpen (exercise pen) has been THE BEST THING EVER!! We have carpet in the house, (heck even on other surfaces this would be good) so I bought a heavy duty shower curtain from Walmart for $10 or so and put that down for a floor with the playpen on top so it protects the floor from potty mistakes. I also bought Urine Destroyer at Walmart - about $5 - I swear by this stuff. I also put a potty training pad in the playpen in a corner. I would also leave a towel I used or shirt I wore with my scent on it. Her food and water is in there also. 

She was 8 weeks old when we got her, she just turned 9 months and she is a great little dog. We did 2 puppy training classes and started a class for canine good citizen. Do I think she is really ready to pass the test soon? No. That’s OK because the training is for ME, so I can train her and be more effective with her. I said from the beginning that any problem she has had was because I don’t speak puppy lol.

I take her on errands with me where I could – the petstore! The bank – they even have treats for dogs at my bank – they love her! People love puppies – especially fluffy puppies!

Is it hard? You bet your butt it is! 
Is it worth it? Oh yeah. And she still drives me crazy sometimes.


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## CT Girl (Nov 17, 2010)

I think we are working with the information provided. You stated Lydia is crated sometimes ten hours a day with no break. That you have to make a choice whether she gets her shots or you get an injury attended to. That her eyes are weepy and crusting. That you really have not bonded and that sometimes after a hard day at work you would rather relax and go out with friends for an hour or two. Add the fact that Lydia is a puppy that is not housebroken. 

Can it be done? Yes, Cavon has proved that but you will have to make a lot of sacrifices. This would be a lot easier if Lydia was not a puppy. Socialization at this stage is vital. If she does not get exposed to dogs, kids, umbrella and tons of other things at this stage it will be very difficult for her to be a well adjusted dog. 

First, ten hours without a break is unacceptable for a young active dog. You are unable to get home from work and your friend is unreliable. A doggie daycare were she could get socialization with other dogs would be an option or a dog walker but these are expensive options. 

The two biggest obstacles are crate time and training. Can you take vacation time and potty train her? For the crate even an adult, fully trained dog will have trouble holding it for ten hours. As Tiny Poodles points out these demands will be ongoing. 

We are not trying to be harsh but realistic. Poodles are more demanding than most breeds. They need their people and don't do well alone. They are smart and a smart, bored dog is a force to be reckoned with. They will find something to do and I can almost guarantee it is something you won't like. They need a lot of grooming. You can learn how to do it yourself or you can bring her to a groomer but it must be done and it will be expensive or time consuming or a little bit of both. With all that said it is so worth it as they are amazing, intelligent and fun. 

If you decide to keep Lydia we will try to help with what we have learned. You just need to decide if this is a commitment you are willing and able to undertake. If you cannot there is no shame in that. If you decide to keep Lydia then you need to tackle the obstacles and we will help will tips and advice. 

I honestly want the both for both you and Lydia. I know you do. No one would go on a dog forum and keep engaging in a dialogue even after they have been criticized if they did not care deeply for their dog. Whatever you decide I know you will do so with the best interests of Lydia in mind.


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## Marcie (Aug 2, 2011)

You are a single parent now. If this pup was a child what would you do. Try looking into a doggie day care. Arrange with your boss that you could maybe go in a little early so that you can go home at lunch to let your pup out and give him some attention. See if your boss would let you bring your pup to work, be creative, think! Make sure you go straight home from work and pay attention to the pup, you do have to remember, the dog comes first, pure and simple. 

If this is not an option, you could see if your x wanted custody. If that does not work and you still cannot give your pup the time and energy needed to give him a quality life, you should put the pup up for adoption with a good rescue so that it gets the love and attention it needs.


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## joedjax (Aug 28, 2013)

Thanks everyone.. When I stated that sometimes I just wanted to have a few beers at a bar for an hour after work, If you'll go back and re-read it, I did say (and I DO) always go home and walk her first. Even though I feel bad about putting her back in her crate. 

Yesterday happened to be a hard day, I was at work late, stuck in traffic on the way home. I did have a friend walk her about 3pm. So she was in her crate yesterday longer than desirable. I also have a walker today. As far as the financial responsibilities, I do make her a priority (but, this foot injury cause more of a precedence.) BUT, with that said, the doggy day cares I have checked so far want about $25 a day, which I certainly can't afford. 

As far as getting my foot fixed vs. puppy. Well, the podiatrist sees all kinds of injuries due to marathon running, and agreed to see me on Friday for $150. (my vet money) I KNOW all of you don't have foolproof financial lives either, and things come up. I know I shouldn't, but I think I can probably wait until next friday for her shots. (right? I'm actually really not sure.) (Actually, one of the reason I wanted a standard poodle - not a common choice for a 28 year old single, straight male - was that she can run, and when she's old enough and cleared by the vet, she can start running with me. But not TOO much energy like a Labrador. )

This does get overwhelming at times, but I DO take care of her first. Some days it is more of a burden than others (like yesterday) and all the stress hits at once. 

To answer a few of the questions here... I can't take vacation time to potty train her. I work with one other person as a project manager handling government contracts and although I can be somewhat flexible sometimes, it does require a lot of my time. I can't bring my dog to work, we lease an office in a larger building that won't allow it. 

I do want to keep her, and I am willing to make some sacrifices for her. One poster here said she needs my attention 24/7, and I should fore-go all social life, but look, at the end of the day, she IS a dog. The questions is if I can offer her enough time and training. Which, I think with some adjusting to this new life, I can. But I do need help. Also, as far as training classes, I have money set aside for her classes ($80 at a local off-leash park) but I was told she couldn't go until she had her rabies shots. So maybe that can wait a week until then, too. Maybe a week for shots, another week for classes isn't too big of a deal, but once I factor in the other stuff, that's what had me second guessing my ownership abilities. I'm still on the fence about it. I'm not sold 100% either way on what is best for her. But please know that I DO want what's best for her.


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## Countryboy (May 16, 2011)

Do remember that she's going thru a certain phase of her growing up. And naturally, she's taking u with her. This housetraining phase will pass... and morph into another phase... sometimes called the terrible teens. Also hard to deal with in it's own way, but doable.

Dogs are like kids... they need a lot of attention first, then less attention, and then almost none. Yr every-other-day-at-the-dog-park routine is exactly what Tonka and I get. 

But like kids, they get used to the world and routine around them and adjust to it. It's the only life they know and it suits them just fine. She will never 'blame' u for not being with her 24/7.

Best of luck to both of u!


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## KristaLynn (Mar 22, 2012)

My most honest though on this is that you re-home your puppy, spend a few years living it up while setting aside a bit of money every money and then when you feel the time is right get an adult dog. My first dog was an adult rescue and she was a breeze! I was laughing she was so easy!!! Already housetrained and OH MY DOG she had an attention span for training!! Plus an adult dog would be ready to go running with you right away, not the two year wait you have ahead of you with your puppy. 

I'm also someone who has fostered about 12 dogs for a local rescue, breed or background doesn't matter adults are easier. I've taken in abused, outdoor dogs scared of men and turned them around in two months and I'd rather do that than re-train a puppy that's confused about housetraining! Haha!


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## Milo :) (Mar 10, 2013)

Don't mean to be judgmental, but I work/go to school full time and have raised a puppy by myself for the last 8 months and it has worked because I am committed to him and he is a priority.

I agree that she needs a new home. I wish you lived in North Carolina--I would take her.


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## joedjax (Aug 28, 2013)

Milo :) said:


> Don't mean to be judgmental, but I work/go to school full time and have raised a puppy by myself for the last 8 months and it has worked because I am committed to him and he is a priority.
> 
> I agree that she needs a new home. I wish you lived in North Carolina--I would take her.


Ok, well rather than passing judgement or acting above "lowly me" who "doesn't make my dog a priority", why don't you try and give me a little bit of information as to how you've done this? Dog walkers? Home at lunch time? Roomates? Parents?


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## Shamrockmommy (Aug 16, 2013)

To me, it sounds like you really enjoy her company. I am a stay at home/homeschooling mom, so I am here 99% of the time. Do you want to know what my (uncrated) dogs do all day? Besides their morning, noon, afternoon, after dinner and bedtime potty? 
Sleep.
In various places and positions, but they sleep. Poodle (puppy!) in my lap, chihuahua next to me, PWD on the floor, Bichon in her CRATE (door's open!) right now. I'm not in a neighborhood, but on a farmette on a busy road (don't worry, 3 acres securely fenced) so I don't do regular daily walks. I head outside with them and make a lap or two, throw a ball or frisbee, run through a little obedience with them and that's about it. I do crate the overnight because half of the group is unreliable at night and will pee/poop given the chance. 

The kids will only briefly play with our mini poodle or PWD. The other 2 dogs are grumpy gus's! I do ALL the feeding, pottying, poop scooping, dog training, grooming for my dogs. I'm married to a very pet-tolerant guy LOL but he does nothing with the dogs other than pet them. And sometimes he takes Darby (bichon) for a ride in the truck on errands. 

People work. People have pets. The VAST majority of people work AND have pets. Do you have a fenced yard at all? Could you hire a noon-time pet sitter (just for the first year while potty training is going on)? Can you take her to daycare twice weekly? Usually that's enough to take the edge off and they spend their 'off' days at home resting from all the play. 

I know you are sad from your breakup. But it is good she is there to get you out of the house and provide friendship! Take walks, you can jog with her once she's a bit older and done growing. The dog park is good! Look into a training club and sign up for a once a week class and REALLY form a bond with her. My PWD and I are an awesome team for obedience and rally and Tuesday nights are an absolute blast with her in class! There is a std. poodle in our obedience class and in the next room over there is a std poodle in the agility class. They LOVE to learn, learn quickly, and are great dogs. 

You want to know what I think? I think you can do this if you add those few things! If everyone was REQUIRED to be a stay at home pet owner, NO ONE would have pets and the shelters would be overloaded even more than they are. 

Potty training: walk outside with her on leash. Be boring. Very very boring. DOn't even let her play with a leaf. The minute she squats to pee, tell her in a normal voice "go potty" (or whatever word you want to use). Wait till she's done and then throw a party! Praise! Petting! Woohoo! Same with pooping. This one, with my minipoodle pup, I really have to wait him out! So many shiny things outside! But when he starts to stoop to poop, I say "go poops" and then once he's done throw a party! He now goes pretty quickly but I was outside wandering aimlessly for a good 30 minutes each potty trip the first few weeks! Also, don't know what food you feed, but the lower quality grocery brands/Iams, science diet and similar will produce a LOT of poop. Look for a higher quality food (dogfoodadvisor.com is a great place to start) and I prefer grain free for my dogs- no gas, poops 2x a day and that's it.

The first year of a dog's life is the hardest. It passes, though, it really does! 
Soon enough, they're house trained, lazy bones who adapt to your schedule and lifestyle and happily, I may add! You likely will be able to stop using the crate so much by age 2, or younger. She might even be able to start sleeping in your bed, if you like. (but for now, crate her overnight please). I think you can do this!

Good luck.


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## Caniche (Jun 10, 2013)

joedjax said:


> Thanks everyone.. When I stated that sometimes I just wanted to have a few beers at a bar for an hour after work, If you'll go back and re-read it, I did say (and I DO) always go home and walk her first. Even though I feel bad about putting her back in her crate.....
> 
> (Actually, one of the reason I wanted a standard poodle - not a common choice for a 28 year old single, straight male - was that she can run, and when she's old enough and cleared by the vet, she can start running with me. But not TOO much energy like a Labrador. )
> 
> I do want to keep her, and I am willing to make some sacrifices for her. One poster here said she needs my attention 24/7, and I should fore-go all social life, but look, at the end of the day, she IS a dog.


A couple of things. There's nothing wrong with having a social life. We all have social lives and have had dogs. But with Cash as my new puppy, we include him in my social life. Going to a bar for a drink? Go to one with outdoor seating and bring the dog with you. Want to go to a movie? Sacrifice and go to the park with a friend instead - play frisbee with the dog. Take her to a farmer's market on the weekends or an outdoor restaurant. It's not about forgoing all social activities - it's about choosing and sacrificing to do what's best for her. And I'm sorry if you don't see the issue, but her being crated all day while you're at work and then putting her back in so you can go out and "unwind" is wrong and inappropriate. Gut instincts rule in my opinion - if you FEEL bad about putting her back in her crate....well, guess what? 

I'm not sure you picked the right breed of dog for your lifestyle. With grooming costs added on to normal expenses and dog training classes, poodles are a high-energy, high-maintenance and high-cost breed. And it concerns me that you think a spoo has less energy than a lab.

I'm sure all of us on this forum have had money issues at one time in our life. Things happen. But $150 is not much in the world of owning a dog. The fact that you are spending that on your foot (which is completely okay, your health is very important) and therefore have to wait for necessary vaccines and shots for her tells me that you're not financially secure enough to own a dog. What if there was an accident and she needed emergency vet care? It's not uncommon for puppies to end up in emergency care once or twice - eating something, getting into something, etc. Although if she's crated 20 hours a day, she probably won't have a chance to get into much.

I'm actually the one offended now. "But look, at the end of the day, she IS a dog." That's kind of gusty to say on a Poodle Forum with breeders, competitors, groomers and other professionals in the business. Some of us depend on these dogs to make money (ie groomers) and some of our dogs save our lives (service dogs). And some dogs, like mine, pulled their owners out of depression. So if she's not a priority in your life because she IS, at the end of the day, a "dog", then I think she'd be better somewhere else where people appreciate her. 



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## joedjax (Aug 28, 2013)

Thank you Shamrock. I feed her Eukaneuba Puppy Large Breed.


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## Caniche (Jun 10, 2013)

joedjax said:


> Ok, well rather than passing judgement or acting above "lowly me" who "doesn't make my dog a priority", why don't you try and give me a little bit of information as to how you've done this? Dog walkers? Home at lunch time? Roomates? Parents?


I think you need to be careful on how you address people on this site. People aren't taking time out of their day to be mean. YOU asked for help. People have provided suggestions and you respond as to why that won't work for you. You say you haven't bonded with the dog and feel guilty about leaving her in the crate all day and we say she needs to be rehomed. You don't like that answer either. We tell you that we've done it but have been completely committed to the dog and you say it's "a dog" and you're not giving up your social life. Maybe you need to tell US what you want to here so we can accommodate you. 

I was going to school full time and working two internships when I got Ryker. It was HARD. I was exhausted. But I skipped some of the things I enjoy doing to make time for him and bond with him. Today, he's my best friend and companion. If you're not prepared to do the same, you'll both be miserable.

The fact is you're not making this dog a priority. You can care about her and love her, but if you're not giving up your nights out to be with her, it won't work. 

Don't be rude to people who are trying to help and offering the advice you asked for. In the words of an awesome person on this site: Just BE NICE! 




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## Jamie Hein (Aug 17, 2013)

I haven't read through the whole thread, but I wanted to say that not getting the rabies vaccine done is NOT going to kill your dog. It may be illegal where you are, but it is not going to hurt your dog especially if she is inside so much. I would pay for your injury first if I were you. You can put off the vaccine. However, you need to either be brushing and wiping her down at home or taking her to a groomer - which most groomers do require the rabies vaccine be current.For cheaper vaccines, if you have a Petco in your area usually they have very low cost vaccine clinics come to the store a few times a month. At my store during that day it is only 19 dollars for the vaccine. They also have puppy packages that are cheap as well. If or when you get in a better financial situation (if you don't give her up first), I suggest having a professional dog walker walk her daily in addition to you walking her when you get home at night. This way she won't be in the crate so long.


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## joedjax (Aug 28, 2013)

Caniche said:


> A couple of things. There's nothing wrong with having a social life. We all have social lives and have had dogs. But with Cash as my new puppy, we include him in my social life. Going to a bar for a drink? Go to one with outdoor seating and bring the dog with you. Want to go to a movie? Sacrifice and go to the park with a friend instead - play frisbee with the dog. Take her to a farmer's market on the weekends or an outdoor restaurant. It's not about forgoing all social activities - it's about choosing and sacrificing to do what's best for her. And I'm sorry if you don't see the issue, but her being crated all day while you're at work and then putting her back in so you can go out and "unwind" is wrong and inappropriate. Gut instincts rule in my opinion - if you FEEL bad about putting her back in her crate....well, guess what?
> 
> I'm not sure you picked the right breed of dog for your lifestyle. With grooming costs added on to normal expenses and dog training classes, poodles are a high-energy, high-maintenance and high-cost breed. And it concerns me that you think a spoo has less energy than a lab.
> 
> ...


I say that based one everyone I've talked to, and from personal experience. Every Lab I have known has been erratically hyper, and every poodle I know has been a little more docile, at least indoors. Literally everyone I have talked to about them as well (owners, breeders, friends) has agreed that a standard poodle has a much better temperament, trainability, and generally a calmer nature than a Lab. 


Again, I don't mean any offense to anyone here who has show dogs, breeders, groomers, or any of the sort, but I didn't get Lydia for those reasons. I got her as a companion, a friend, and LITERALLY a member of the family. I still consider her this. 

I do not go out and party all night every night. I NEVER have. Even in my early 20's. I don't even go see movies in theaters. I literally haven't been to one since early this year. Do I like to once or twice a week? Yes, to ONE bar, right down the street, and even then I'm hardly there for more than an hour. (Another poster made a suggestion to sit outside, which this bar does have outside seating. This is a great suggestion that I never would have thought of) 

What I am looking for is honest suggestions and changes that must be made, or reasons why they CAN'T be made. Nothing that anyone has said on here negatively towards me, such as "I don't make my dog a priority" or pretty much anything judgmental or prefaced by the statement "I don't mean to be judgmental" is not constructive at all. 

I live paycheck to paycheck, yes. If that's a valid reason by most people to NOT own a dog, then I would think the majority of people wouldn't have dogs.. It's not ideal, but you also have to consider that I am now living in a single income household. Things are changing in my life pretty suddenly and not for the best. If having to give up Lydia IS the best thing, then I will. I just don't believe that most of the posters here are giving me or my situation an honest and fair evaluation and consideration. If they are, it's pretty harsh.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

Sometimes life IS harsh. Although having read through this thread I would say that the comments are honest and based on experience, rather than harsh.


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## CT Girl (Nov 17, 2010)

My nieces train guide dogs for the blind. The organization picks exclusively labs to work with because of their calm steady nature and focus. I am extremely familiar with labs and poodles and I find poodles a much more high energy dog than a lab. I adore poodles but a calmer nature than a lab!!! 

No one has an issue with you going out on occasion with friends. The part people are taking issue with is if the dog has been in the crate for ten hours and then you let her out quickly and then lock her up again, that is not good. You know that and that is why you felt guilty. That is a problem easily overcome as you can bring her with you from now on. In fact that would be great socialization for her.

The issue of finance is an important one. Poodles are more expensive and more labor intensive then other breeds. My first dog was an Aussie. I wanted a standard poodle but I knew I could not afford one because of grooming expenses. Even if you groom the dog yourself you will need several pieces of equipment. I get Swizzle groomed once a month and use the clippers and bathe him at least once in addition. I also comb him everyday so he won't mat. My Aussie got bathed twice a year and a good brushing every couple days. Have you budgeted for frequent groomings? In my area a standard nothing fancy grooming for a standard poodle starts at $125.00.

If you plan on keeping Lydia I would strongly advise on getting pet insurance. All she needs to do is eat one sock and you could be a couple thousand out of pocket. Poodles need more exercise than the average dog. If you currently did not have a dog and wanted to look I would have advised an adult housebroken dog that is a couch potato. 

Do you have a plan for housebreaking and not leaving her in her crate for so long? I don't know what we can suggest beside friends and relatives, a dog walker or doggie daycare. I believe you live in a condo and I am not a fan of leaving dogs out unsupervised anyway. Housebreaking you have already received advice on and if you do a search you will find lots of threads on this. 

I think we were thinking if you had friends or relatives you could call upon to help you would have already done so. Do you have someone in your condo complex who you could hire to walk your dog?

Did your girlfriend take your mini Aussie?


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## Joelly (May 8, 2012)

joedjax said:


> I do want to keep her, and I am willing to make some sacrifices for her. One poster here said *she needs my attention 24/7*, and I should fore-go all social life, but look, at the end of the day, she IS a dog. The questions is if I can offer her enough time and training. Which, I think with some adjusting to this new life, I can. But I do need help. Also, as far as training classes, I have money set aside for her classes ($80 at a local off-leash park) but I was told she couldn't go until she had her rabies shots. So maybe that can wait a week until then, too. Maybe a week for shots, another week for classes isn't too big of a deal, but once I factor in the other stuff, that's what had me second guessing my ownership abilities. I'm still on the fence about it. I'm not sold 100% either way on what is best for her. But please know that I DO want what's best for her.


Joe,

I don't know who said you have to be with your dog 24/7 but they are wrong. I'm sorry for them if they think that way.

I don't think you are a bad owner but you are in the border of becoming one if you keep your dog in a crate for that long. It is better to get an x-pen. Like this one: Amazon.com: Midwest Black E-Coat Exercise Pen, 24 Inches by 30 Inches: Pet Supplies

Check it out!

I know you are in the border of giving her up or keeping her. Let me ask you something, if you let her go, will you want her back? If you answer yes to this, then keep her and do what you can for her and you. You need to have a balance life too and so does she. Get the x-pen shown above and live your life. And don't listen to those people who says you need to stay 24/7 with your dog. I don't and my dogs are well cared for.

For rabies shot, find a humane society and get the shot for less price than the vet. Humane society will also do spay for less than the vet.

Whatever you decide to do, don't feel bad. Good luck!!! Keep us posted!!!!


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## poodlecrazy51 (Dec 31, 2012)

Please understand, that this a harsh situation. For you and for this puppy. I know what all I have sacrificed for the love of a dog, and it sure sounds like I am not alone. There is a reason there are so many rescues and humane societies full to capacity and struggling to keep their doors open. Peoplenwant pets. We have a huge capacity to love. I think you do want to find a way to keep your puppy, but it sounds like at every turn, you have a snag. Not all of those snags are in your control, but some are. It always helps me with tough decisions to get paper and pen and start 2 columns. PROS and CONS. You will need to be brutally honest with yourself and your life situation. You will need to try to look towards the future as well as the present. The harsh truth just may turn out to be that you are not ready for the huge committment it is going to take to get through the next 2 years with this puppy. Potty training and adequate exercise are huge factors. It takes weeks of constant watch, to housebreak a dog, going out after every nap, every meal, which should be 3 meals a day evenly spaced, after evry play period. If you can't do that and can't afford to pay someone to do
itfor you, then that is a huge very important obstacle.If you lown your home, there are ways to install a doggie door, etc. I wish you well. Try to understand where all of us are coming from, if I can speak for all? We love our dogs and make daily sacrifices, and don't want any human nor dog to not have a rich and happy life. I hope you will make those pro and con lists and do the right thing. Only you will know what that is. I wish you well, and your puppy, too.


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## Poodlebeguiled (May 27, 2013)

> joedjax said:
> 
> 
> > I say that based one everyone I've talked to, and from personal experience. Every Lab I have known has been erratically hyper, and every poodle I know has been a little more docile, at least indoors. Literally everyone I have talked to about them as well (owners, breeders, friends) has agreed that a standard poodle has a much better temperament, trainability, and generally a calmer nature than a Lab.
> ...


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## Tiny Poodles (Jun 20, 2013)

One thing that is clear is that you love her very much, and realize that the way things are now is not good enough -only you know for sure if that love means sucking it up and making major sacrifice to give her the life that she deserves or letting her go to somebody who is in a position to do that without so much sacrifice.
What I implore you to do is make your decision quickly and do not waiver from it - the thing that we see all too often is people being stuck in a stage of ambivalence and indecision whilst the dog is who is not receiving proper socialization and training becomes less and less likely to be placeable in a really quality home when and if the person decides to let them go.
So here are your choices-
1) let her go to a rescue that will find her a really capable home that will give her a great life
2) keep her and make the major time and financial sacrifices that it will take to raise her right and enjoy her ( and I do mean major - like find a cheaper place to live, cut off the cable TV, have a beer at home instead if paying double at a bar, sell your car and take a bus)- whatever it takes to. Get her what she needs.
3) stay in a state of ambivalence, allowing her to become more and more incorrigible, then when you can't live with the destructive wild dirty thing anymore, let her go to a series of homes who will try, but likely won't be able to undo the damage until she finally, sadly lands in a kill shelter.
4) Stay in a state of ambivalence, keep her and live the next 15 years with a dog who pees and poops all over your living room, chews up your stuff, bites your guests - and maybe even you. There ARE people who love their little self made monsters so much that they are willing to do that.

I sincerely hope that you will choose option one or two - do not get frozen in place and wind up in option 3 or 4 by default!


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## Manxcat (May 6, 2013)

Tiny Poodles said:


> One thing that is clear is that you love her very much, and realize that the way things are now is not good enough -only you know for sure if that love means sucking it up and making major sacrifice to give her the life that she deserves or letting her go to somebody who is in a position to do that without so much sacrifice.
> What I implore you to do is make your decision quickly and do not waiver from it - the thing that we see all too often is people being stuck in a stage of ambivalence and indecision whilst the dog is who is not receiving proper socialization and training becomes less and less likely to be placeable in a really quality home when and if the person decides to let them go.
> So here are your choices-
> 1) let her go to a rescue that will find her a really capable home that will give her a great life
> ...


Very well put.

Can I offer the other perspective too? We recently took on our mini from a family that did not have the time, space, or money to look after him properly. It was a dreadfully hard decision for the wife but in the end they had to do what was best for both her, her child, and Pushkin.

We now have a fabulous second dog, Pushkin gets the time and attention he needs, and his previous owner has been relieved of the guilt she was feeling because she knew she really wasn't doing the best for him. This did not mean she didn't love him, or miss him, or want him to go - it was just what had to be done, and she loved him enough to let him go.

Good luck with this very hard decision.


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## cindyreef (Sep 28, 2012)

Oh My .....this is deja-vu for us here. 
By that I mean my niece went through this exact thing. She works long long hours, a recent break-up AND a 4 yr old on top of that. But after the break-up she kept the young dog for 4 months before deciding to do the right thing for her. It was a hard thing to do but when she found the right home for her dog it relieved her so much. It was sad that day but after that she felt so good because she knew her dog was happy in her new home. She did it out of LOVE for the dog.
I commend you for reaching out for advice. It shows you truly love your puppy. Im sorry but to crate any dog that long IMO is simply cruel. Its no life for a dog. Im sure you know this because that's why you feel guilty about having to do it. Im sure your pup loves you very much and she will love her new owner just as much ( Im sad to say). They love unconditionally it seems.  
You are right...everybody has some sort of financial constraint and the happiest dogs are not exclusive to the financially secure, they are exclusive to the families that love and have time for them. If you cannot manage both of these, then you have your answer. 
My heart sincerely goes out to you. You must get your injuries looked after first. What if this heals wrong and bothers you for the rest of your life? I am so fortunate to live in a country that has free health care where an injury like yours (or any for that matter) doesn't cost a cent. I wish that was the same for you. I cant imagine where our lives would be without this. And I have the nerve to complain about having to pay for vet bills. I wish there was a way to have the province pay for that too.


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## PoodlePowerBC (Feb 25, 2011)

Caniche said:


> poodles are a high-energy, high-maintenance and high-cost breed. And it concerns me that you think a spoo has less energy than a lab.
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


I agree that they are high maintenance because of the grooming ... but afraid I disagree with the high energy. Granted I've only owned 2, but both have been calm, easy going dogs. They are just as happy to cuddle on the couch as run in the park. And most Labs I meet are crazy, it could be the breeding, but they run circles round my Spoos.
I would say if you have only had the Spoo for 6 weeks, and you are already thinking you need to rehome her, maybe you should. But again, you seem very unsettled, and maybe time is what you need. Hopefully you can find someone to help you out, maybe a dog walker or a doggy daycare situation?
Good luck, and my heart goes out to you!


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## Jamie Hein (Aug 17, 2013)

I have yet to meet a calm easygoing lab. This is why I don't like to groom labs... they are always all over the place, jumping on me, and overly hyper. However- this could surely be that all of the labs going to the salon I work at for grooming in this particular area lack training or are poorly bred. The poodles are FAR better behaved


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## Caniche (Jun 10, 2013)

PoodlePowerBC said:


> I agree that they are high maintenance because of the grooming ... but afraid I disagree with the high energy. Granted I've only owned 2, but both have been calm, easy going dogs. They are just as happy to cuddle on the couch as run in the park. And most Labs I meet are crazy, it could be the breeding, but they run circles round my Spoos.
> I would say if you have only had the Spoo for 6 weeks, and you are already thinking you need to rehome her, maybe you should. But again, you seem very unsettled, and maybe time is what you need. Hopefully you can find someone to help you out, maybe a dog walker or a doggy daycare situation?
> Good luck, and my heart goes out to you!


I consider them to be a high-maintenance breed because you have to know about them. They are plagued with some fairly specific health issues and you have to know them and your dog to keep everything in sync. Also, like I posted, grooming costs money, time and commitment (getting to the groomer's or doing it yourself). 

I've owned toys - two of them - and I consider *them* to be high energy. We go for a 45 minute walk in the morning, play a game of fetch indoors for 30 minutes in the afternoon and an evening game of outdoor fetch and chase for an hour. And they come inside and are STILL ready to play. I've heard many standard owners say their spoos need a good walk twice a day, an hour each. My friend owns a standard as well and walks him for close to three hours a day (he's a big boy, not that size determines energy level). I think you got some calmer spoos than most.

My toys also cuddle on the couch. But just because a dog sits and relaxes doesn't mean it doesn't need serious exercise (for physical and mental stimulation) or that it isn't high energy.

Poodles are also high maintenance because of their intelligence. A poodle, especially a puppy, is not going to get an enriched life living in a crate for ten hours a day. Not to mention that it's cruel in my opinion.

No one on here said that you should give up your life and devote 24/7 to a puppy. It's called balance and sacrifice. I do think, however, that until a puppy has matured, the owner should be spending time with the dog or incorporating it into their social life - especially a full-time worker. I'm not saying that full-time workers are less deserving of a social life, but I think many single parents would agree that social lives take a back seat when there's a child in the house. And while a puppy is not a baby, it has many of the same needs.

I have no idea what to say about your experience with labs. My uncle had labs all the time growing up. They'd play fetch for awhile and then lay on the living room floor and pant. I think they're energetic when given a task and the rest of the time they're family dogs - which is what they were bred to do. Maybe the labs you saw were excited to be outdoors? I don't know. I do know that by good breeding practices, standard poodles should have and do have higher stimulation needs - physical and mental - than a lab. I love poodles to pieces, but I think a good piece of advice for this owner would be to contact the pup's breeder and see if she can be rehomed. Then, when life has settled down, re-evaluate if a poodle fits their lifestyle.


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## Sara&Audi (Oct 21, 2012)

KristaLynn said:


> My most honest though on this is that you re-home your puppy, spend a few years living it up while setting aside a bit of money every money and then when you feel the time is right get an adult dog. My first dog was an adult rescue and she was a breeze! I was laughing she was so easy!!! Already housetrained and OH MY DOG she had an attention span for training!! Plus an adult dog would be ready to go running with you right away, not the two year wait you have ahead of you with your puppy.


A reflection of my first dog, Audi. Little problems, no training needed, just a breeze!


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## DavidT (Apr 15, 2010)

Dear Joedjax,

Good for you for asking about and wanting to do the right thing ! You probably don't need to hear any more opinions, but in MY opinion, you would both be much happier if she was re-homed. I would try very hard to find a good home for her a.s.a.p. so you can feel good about the decision.

DavidT


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