# Dear Poodle Forum...........



## MollyMuiMa (Oct 13, 2012)

Dear PF,
Today I decided we needed a 'Rant & Rave' thread.............
I really need to air a few about my human Mom.............
First, I wish she would stop being so obsessed with my hair.....I hate it when she won't allow me to dig in the mud when 'I' want to.......so what if I just had a bath!
Then there is her stupid idea about me losing weight! She is causing me much mental anguish making me sit there while she enjoys all that lovely food and totally ignores my pleading looks!!!
Oh yeah, I can't forget........She always washes off the wonderful stuff I roll in that smells sooooo good. Doesn't she realze how hard it was to distribute it evenly through all this hair? EEEERRRRRGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:banghead:


If I didn't love her so much I think I could bite her sometimes!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANKS FOR LISTENING
MOLLY

PLEASE AIR YOUR RANTS & RAVES TOO! YOU'LL FEEL SOOOO MUCH BETTER!!!


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## Rachel76 (Feb 3, 2014)

Thank you Molly!

I am starting to get my adult teeth and *need* to chew. Just when I find something good it gets taken away from me. The coffee table already has teeth marks from some other dog, I don't see what difference a few more make. I'm not supposed to eat dog training ooks either. I thought if I ate one of the training books I could absorb the information better. 

I'm not allowed to eat cat poo (or pigeon poo, or hedgehog poo, or weasel poo or horse poo or fox poo or well I'm just not supposed to eat poo). There is still lots of healthy protein in cat poo and I'm a growing girl. 

Hemi


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## Sunny'sMoney (May 13, 2014)

She never stays put, always inside, outside, upstairs, downstairs. I'm too old for this crap! My ancestors rode around in the sleeves of the emperor's robe! Where's MY ride?!?

Since I cannot climb the stairs myself, I have to wait for her to lift me up, or down, and she forgets me! I'll be dogged if I'm going to be reduced to whining, so I'm perfecting a sharp and angry yip. I keep trying to help her lift me by jumping, but she has all the grace of a pug in a puddle, and I'm going to wind up as sidewalk art if she doesn't get some coordination going!


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## atlflier (Mar 31, 2014)

Dear Molly...

This is Alex, one of your many admirers. I could play bow to you right now...come on over here and let me nuzzle you a bit because you took the "woof" right out of my mouth. 

Doesn't she realize I have to lift my leg on every bush whenever we head out for walkies because every dog, cat and human being in sight takes one look at those foo-foo bands in my ears and thinks I'm a girl? I paw paw paw at those damn things and when I finally managed to tug them out BAM she's right back to putting them in again. Heck I learned "sit" on the first try. So tell me is there a class I can drag her to because we go over and over this and she still doesn't get it? 

And don't even get me started on the diet kick. Okay sure, I like my food bowl. But one day that guy in the white coat put me on this little slippery box and then suddenly my three tablespoons each meal went down to two but she's never seen me steal her food whenever she has to lay on the bed to zip her jeans up. 

Oh yeah, I almost forgot because it's nearly play time outside, but would someone please tell me what's wrong with letting me scoot across the carpet when things get itchy down there? I mean it feels good to me but the moment I do it I'm in the kitchen sink, my tails being yanked up and then the dreaded squeeze action starts. 

I hear ya on the bite thing but I love her so I'll just steal her shoe again instead.

Gotta run...


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## ApricotsRock (Jan 10, 2014)

Dear PF:

1. The box! Really, why do I have to go in the box? Just because they think I will chew everything in the house while they are away. I chew things all the time when they are home, so what's the big deal?

2. I kind of understand why my parents have to go to work. I like kibble and all. But why does my kid have to go to the brick building with all the other kids? I thought her job was to stay home and take care of me! Isn't that important, geesh.

3. Cats. Who thought to give them claws? They would be much more fun to chase if they didn't have those sharp things. 

4. Brushes. I LOATHE being groomed. Mom keeps threatening to shave me like a marine but if I don't have to be brushed I'll take it. 

5. Getting told shush when I am singing my songs. I have a great voice as a matter of fact. I like to use it, often.

Those are my top five. Other than that, life is good.


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## BorderKelpie (Dec 3, 2011)

Master Bug here:

*sigh* So really, what's my mum thinking? What I am doing with that blasted pig is NOT resource guarding. She's MY mum, not his! How dare he think he can beg for pets and kisses when I'm sitting on her?!?! I refuse to share my mum with that pig, or any of the other house critters. I really don't understand why I have to go to my room just because the others want attention and love, too. She's threatened to bring the crate out again! 

I'm not resource guarding, I'm protecting her from those that would steal my attention and treats. Can't she see that?

How dare she? "I" am the man of the house and Master of my domain. She should be happy I allow the others to stay here. (Although, the girls are OK, I just don't like any of the boys to get too close to her, really, can't she see I'm protecting her?) hrmph!

signed, 
Master bug - Man of the House


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## PoodlePaws (May 28, 2013)

Oh master bug:

I cannot stand for anyone to get in my mums lap either! Especially Ash. I had to share when Ash got sick from eating those stupid magnets! She is all better now and STILL thinks she can sit up here too! My cousin Buck was here 2 weeks ago and he tried to get in mums lap while she was rubbing my back. . I snapped at him to show him who the queen is and he is to leave MY mums lap ALONE. 

Regards,
Missy


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## BorderKelpie (Dec 3, 2011)

Oh, Missy!
I am sooo glad someone understands. These humans just don't know how good they've got it with us looking out for them. 

Share her lap, indeed! What is she thinking?

Master Bug


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## hopetocurl (Jan 8, 2014)

Dear PF, 
My Mommy won't let me eat mulch. I don't know why. It smells so good... just one little piece wouldn't hurt, would it?

Willow


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## Sunny'sMoney (May 13, 2014)

Having a better day today. She did that thing, you know where they groom the ground and throw away all the soft sweet-smelling fur, that they worked so very hard to grow - just like they do to us. I like it when she's tired because she stays still more. Why doesn't she live simply - just take naps between treats instead of being obsessed with any dang thing that grows anywhere?


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## Grandma's Boys (Feb 28, 2014)

You are right Molly, Moms can be a real problem. Mine keeps her new Nike's up on the dresser, and I just want to make nice little holes in them like I did with the old ones. I wonder why she thinks I need to sit, before she gives me a treat. And she never lets me eat that nice kibble the Rabbits leave for me in the yard. I have to let her know how I feel about her bossiness every once in a while, by grabbing her socks and running away with them.

Your friend, Margot


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## Siskojan (Mar 13, 2011)

You think you've got it bad, I'm in jail (also known as The Kennels). My dad is having medical tests in Vancouver (just routine stuff, he's not sick) but Mom decided coping with my requirements as well as dad's was too much so I got abandoned. I know my Mom is missing me. Apparently I need to get used to this because they are going to their human girl's university grad in June and I have to be here for a whole darn week!


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

Hi Molly,

Our mom is very confusing too us! She keeps telling Lily to sit and Peeves to down to get treats and all sorts of other crazy things. We wish she would make up her mind and just let us both do the same thing. Then, worst of all when one of us is right and the other one is wrong she makes us start over and nobody is getting very many treats!

We agree with all you other doggies about the other silly things your moms and dad don't like. Peeves loves eating Lily's poo and mom is always complaining about cleaning the yard, so we don't see why she doesn't just let Peeves help. Lily loves rolling in stinky things and gets annoyed when mom tells her to stop.

Our people are just so silly sometimes. We love them anyway though since they let both of us sleep on the bed. It is pretty funny since we don't leave them very much room.

Hugs,
Lily and Peeves


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## MollyMuiMa (Oct 13, 2012)

Siskojan said:


> You think you've got it bad, I'm in jail (also known as The Kennels). My dad is having medical tests in Vancouver (just routine stuff, he's not sick) but Mom decided coping with my requirements as well as dad's was too much so I got abandoned. I know my Mom is missing me. Apparently I need to get used to this because they are going to their human girl's university grad in June and I have to be here for a whole darn week!


Dear Sisko,

I'm so sorry you are incarcerated! If you lived closer my Mom said you could stay with us....I'd love to take you to Dog Beach! I hope your Dad & Mom hurry up and get you paroled and your human sister realizes what a sacrifice of your freedom means!!!!...............I hope you at least get to play with the other inmates and the food is good!
I Feel For Ya!
MOLLY


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## Manxcat (May 6, 2013)

Hi Molly,

You have my sympathy. My mum is the pits! She's just shouted at me because I walked over the new damp flat bit the nice man has put in the garden and left paw prints on it (_it's flippin' concrete Pippin!! Mum_) and she says now my paw prints are gonna be there forever... And her point is???? Has she not heard of the walk of fame???????

And she has just shaved me down while making comments about being able to see my waist again... Huh!!! She hasn't seen HER waist for about a decade!!! Cheek!!! 

And the stupid mini has got the squirts so she's been up and down letting him out "just in case" when I know darned well he just wants to find some more stones to chew on - and I want to settle down next to her on the couch and catch some zzzzz's. So selfish!!

At least she looks like she's sitting for a while now 'cos she's got out the flat plastic thingy that she looks at all the time then makes clicky sounds with (_yes, Pippin, that will be the laptop.. Mum_) but she still gets cross even then if I walk on it!!! *sigh* It's so haaaaaard being unappreciated!!

Think I will have to do one of my patented strops and get a bit snarky, just to pay her back... But then again, her dinner smells nice...

Love Pippin
xxx


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## sweetheartsrodeo (Sep 19, 2012)

Molly my Dear, you are right as usual! We need a place to complain about our parents and air our grievances. 

I am particularly frustrated with my mom right now. I went to all the effort to catch and kill a huge toad for her. She squealed that it was "gross" yanked it right out of my mouth (beyond rude!!!), then washed my mouth out with some less than tasty concoction - it didn't taste as good as the toad. Then you know what that wicked witch did next?! She picked up my fresh kill, put it in a bag and took it out to the trash can! How rude?! I mean, I gave her a gift that she threw away. I would never do that to any gift she gave me.... 
Then I went to get in my kennel, and that little naked poodle was in there and he took my pillow. Stealing a nick name from Manxcat, he is the poodley-pest! So I had to lay on the blanket. Add insult to injury. On top of that Mom said we are not going to the farm this weekend because she has to work... Work?! On a Saturday - I will have to sniff her to make sure she was at the school, and not out shopping. 

Remington Poodle


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## Nora O (Sep 27, 2013)

Dear Molly -

Roz & Hotspur both have some complaints:

Roz: Why does she constantly want me to stop barking when the UPS van goes down the street? Doesn't she realize that if it wasn't for me it would stop here a lot more often than it does if it wasn't for me. And I know Mom is jealous when Dad pats & scratches me, that's why she won't let me sleep in their bed. Little does she know, if she dies before me, I will be in that bed, sleeping on her pillow! Plus, she knows I love pasta so why does she let me make a big deal about it (and then tell me to stop being obnoxious) when I let her know that she better be planning on giving me some? And I really love white athletic socks and she's hidden them all! I can't even find them in the basement anymore. Geesh!

Hotspur: Why did she start leaving me again after being home for 2 & 1/2 months? I knew she wasn't well and I took care of her by sitting next to her on the couch nearly all day, every day. Now she's gone for hours (which are days to me) and can't understand why I am crying for her to get in the door when she does come home. And, the occasional marking I do is to protect this house & Roz from Alpha males. Thank God, I'm a very forgiving dog who loves her, Dad, Roz (despite her greediness) and my cat buddies, Feste & Phoebe.


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## Dolly's Mom (Feb 14, 2014)

Dear Molly
Dolly here, my momma is THE WORST! You should see the things I'm forced to put up with this lady. Firstly the clips, I mean I look marvellous, don't get me wrong but it makes playing in the park, swimming and all things fun, very difficult. 
She doesn't let me rip up tennis balls (they are delicious and I'm sure they have some nutritional value). 
She won't let me eat burrs! They get stuck in my fur and I can't eat them? That's some skewed logic.
She forces me to pee outside when it's rainy out. Which is animal cruelty! Seriously! Outside! In the rain!
Moms are awful. I am aware that I need her and I guess...I love her...ugh.
Xo Dolly


Dolly's Mom


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## Indiana (Sep 11, 2011)

This is Indy; if only my owner didn't need so much looking after. She doesn't realize how many intruders I drive away from the house! The mailman makes many fewer attempts to break in since I started getting firm with him. And those horses she loves, oh my. Someone (me) needs to read them the riot act or they'd soon be taking over the place. Oh well. SOMEONE needs to be in charge, and since no one else seems to care about all the crazy people trying to drop off packages these days, guess that falls to me. Sigh. I do my best!


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## Fluffyspoos (Aug 11, 2009)

Dear Poodle Forum,

She hides everything ball shaped. Blasphemy.

Send help.

With kisses and tail wags,
_Vegas_


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## Luce (Mar 4, 2013)

I don't understand what I did!!! Last week she LEFT me with people I never met!! They were nice but still - they were strangers!! I did my best to be nice to them so they wouldn't hurt me, I licked them a lot, especially when they took me out of that little cage - why was I there?? Then I woke up a few hours later with this plastic thing around my neck and my hip felt weird. What did they do to me?? I was so happy when Mom came back I just knew she wouldn't forget about me.

Now here we are a whole week later - this plastic thing is still around my neck, I can't scratch my ear, I can't lick my hip and food is just not what it used to be. And... I can't put my foot down!!! 

WHAT DID THEY DO TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!


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## sweetheartsrodeo (Sep 19, 2012)

Luce, 

That happened to me once, well except for the hip thing... When I finally got rid of that plastic evil thing, I found I was missing my boy bits.... I was not happy.... 

Remington


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## Sunny'sMoney (May 13, 2014)

(Max): Happened to me once too. I knew they wanted me to take it down it a notch, but I'm not a low-notch kind of dog. They knocked me out with clever devices, and I woke up missing boy bits and four teeth! After that, I did take it down a notch, because I was afraid my hind legs would be the next to go. Luckily, I was born with many notches, so it didn't slow me down much. 

Now I'm hearing suspicious discussion about "pippy," which sounds a lot like puppy, but maybe its a grandkid. I would love a kitten. I HAVE to bark at cats because they pee all over everything! Then, I have to pee on top of theirs, and a guy only has so much pee, if you know what I mean. Sometimes my people play kittens mewling on youtube, and I want to help them and take care of them so much that I start crying too. But, apparently we are getting a pippy. Any of you pooches know about that?


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## Luce (Mar 4, 2013)

Remington - that is NOT NICE of them!!! How could they - it, it, it's just awful sounding. This plastic thing didn't bother me mush at first, I think because the had me on drugs!! And I heard the dr. say for a week, so I thought that isn't too long - is it? Then Mom called the dr. and she talked to a different one, I don't know what she said, but it's still on me!! And the brushing - every night!! What's with her? She's gotta thing about my hair, my tail, my ears! Brush brush brush - sheesh! 

I saw her looking at these little green things with a strap on them. I think they're for me!! I have a memory when my Grandma came for a visit, she was soooo nice to me. Anyway, Mom tried to put these things on my feet and I didn't like it at all. I think it's those same things, and I think she's keeping this plastic thing on my head just so she can do this stuff to me. I'm a dog!! I don't wear things on my feet! What's wrong with her?!

On the bright side, when Dad came home from the hospital, I whined when she went to bed and annoyed him ha ha ha !! The next night he told her to take me with her to bed - it worked!! I get to sleep with her on the bed!! I heard the dr. say no because I might jump off! Why would I jump off? Silly dr., she doesn't know me at all - Mom does and that's all I need!


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## PoodlePaws (May 28, 2013)

My poodle friends. Listen!! If your mum has your TK banded and a foo foo bow, follow these steps and get that bow out!! Rub your head and face on the carpet, blankets, couch, etc several times a day. Violently of need be. you can also have your brother or sister try to bite it out. If you keep this up everyday, in a few days time, the bow/TK will be so matted, that your mum will have to cut it out!!! The whole thing!! TK too! It just took me 4 days and mum just had to cut my while TK off today  that'll show HER. 


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## Indiana (Sep 11, 2011)

This is Maddy: Oh Molly and my other PF friends...I'm about to tell you something that will change your lives. You don't ACTUALLY have to do what your owners say! And this is why: they love us. We love them too of course, but y'all know our owners are just a little bit too bossy for their own good. So there's two ways to do what you want (if it's something your owners DON'T want); fast and slow. For instance, if you want to eat something off the counter, do it fast!! Like lightening my friends! Grab that sandwich and go, go, go. By the time you are caught, the sandwich will be long gone. Now if you are trying to get up on your owner's lap for a cuddle when they are trying to get ready for work, do it slow; one leg, then slowly pull up another leg, sloooooowly pull up the third leg, and creep on their laps. They don't really notice until you're deep in a nap and hopefully they won't have the heart to put you off. Now here's what to do when they CATCH you doing the above; think of the dopiest expression you can (I just think of Indy trying to learn the "take it" command; "Duuuuuh...whaaat do you want me to do? Duuuuuh"); put on that dopy expression and wag your tail a lot and try to sneak a few kisses in. It works every time! Remember, they love us! Even if we did the worst thing they can imagine, they will eventually start laughing if you just look dopy, and wag what your mama gave you! p.s. the extra benefit from the above is, they take you to obedience lessons which I must remind you is the most fun you can have without rolling in poop! So there's no down side. Later muchachas!


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## Chagall's mom (Jan 9, 2010)

Dear Friends,
This is Chagall. I have a story to share. It's not a rant about my mom. It's about a stranger! Mom and I were shopping at a very nice store, buying lots and lots of things because mom's favorite niece (not supposed to have favorites, so she says, but I know!) is getting married.resent:resent:resent: Well, I was sitting nicely next to mom who was paying the cashier. I don't want to brag, but the cashier REALLY liked me, she pet me a lot and said she wished she had a cookie for me and even showed mom pictures on her cell phone of her Yorkie, "Marilyn Monroe."

Anyway, another nice cashier came over to help assemble the packages and make things all nice for us. And then you know what? Some lady walked by and spat out, "Rich bitch with a_ POODLE!_" Oh yes she did!:hmpf: And you wanna know what my mom did? She turned and looked at the lady and said, "Thank you for noticing!" :rant:_haha!_ My mom is a laugh riot, _most _of the time. When I take mud baths she sometimes gets tad cranky, though I don't know why. She's always telling people she likes "earth tones" so what's the big deal about mixing *silver* with a little *brown*? I used to get her riled up by chasing the chickens. But they're gone. :Cry:She keeps bugging dad for a Pygmy Goat, not sure exactly what that is. But I have a feeling it's something that could possibly get her to give me that look she shoots when I am not doing what she thinks is my well-mannered best.:eyebrows: Still, I'll keep her, wouldn't trade her for the world! 

Well, gotta go now. My uncle is going to throw the frisbee for me. He is _so, so, so _much better at it than my mom! She tries really hard, but she throws it short and low, hits the house, the trees, even the deck sometimes. I humor her and still fetch it. But man, you should see the arm on my uncle! Don't know what it means but he bench presses 500 lbs. Mom doesn't even press or iron clothes much! Hmmm, I guess if I had a complaint about her it would be she has a pretty wimpy throwing arm. 
~Chagall :dog:
ETA_:_ Uncle J threw the frisbee on the roof! And we can't get it down!! So I guess playing with mom isn't so bad after all.:biggrin:


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## marialydia (Nov 23, 2013)

Dear Chagall

Your Mom is one classy lady. 

Now, my mom, usually she is OK but since I had that scary seizure last year and went to lots of places where they poked at me, every time I eat she puts small colored pellets in a bit of my food and makes me eat that before she puts my dish on the ground. It tastes terrible but I have no choice. I have to humor her, it seems to mean a lot to her. The morning pellets are the worst. At least Jupiter has some pellets of his own so I am not alone.

Yours in poodledom
Hecuba


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## MollyMuiMa (Oct 13, 2012)

CHAGALL! YOUR MOM ROCKS!!!!!!!!!! 'Pretty is, as pretty does' in my book, and that was pretty classy!!!! I can never think of a quick come-back in those situation until after it happens then I get really 'witty'....... woulda, coulda, shoulda...................!


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## sweetheartsrodeo (Sep 19, 2012)

Chagall, 

My mom said your mom is one CLASSY LADY!!! And that she just adores her  Sorry about the Frisbee on the roof - that sucks! Maybe a good strong wind will knock it down!

Remi


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## Manxcat (May 6, 2013)

Well I am totally fed up!!!!!!

My Mum has been practically ignoring me for days and days but every time the stoopid mini moves she's up and cuddling him and cooing over him! I've had to put up with reduced play times, walks just with me and Dad, and everything!!

AND... we've had this really nice man here called Henry. He's been working outside for days and days and built some really, REALLY neat digging troughs that I can jump into and run around on and they're all full of dirt and bits of twig and all good stuff like that. They were bestest before they got filled up though. 

But Mum keeps telling me "off"!!! I mean, what are they for if not for me to run in and dig in and play in?????? Flowers she says!!!!! HUH!!

And the best bit is that the stoopid mini can't get in them 'cos he can't jump for toffee!

Henry was really nice and has poodles of his own, although they smelled a bit like cross breeds to me but Henry is friendly anyway. But now he's gone and the stoopid mini isn't allowed to come out into the garden and play and IT'S NOT FAIR!!!

Mean Mum says she's going to put something on the bit by the decking to stop me getting on... Hah, hah, hah!!!! It'll take a lot to stop me!! These are some pictures of me eyeing the new play areas up and then being inside!! Great fun!!

Chagall, my Mum says your Mum is amazing! Though I was a bit confused about why anyone could be rude to her or you... humans are very puzzling sometimes!

Love 
Pippin
xxx


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## hopetocurl (Jan 8, 2014)

That looks like a pic taken out of any window in suburban US, not what I expected for Isle of Man. 


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## Manxcat (May 6, 2013)

hopetocurl said:


> That looks like a pic taken out of any window in suburban US, not what I expected for Isle of Man.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App



Hi Willow's Mom!
Lol - sorry to disappoint! We moved last year to a new build so I could have a garden to play in instead of just a concrete yard. Our old house was over 250 years old, but this one is just 4 years old. Below, just for you, I've attached a pic of the view from my Mum's office window and a view of the rest of our town (you can't see our current house, but our previous one is there). Hope you like these better! 
Love Pippin
x


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## Suddenly (Aug 8, 2013)

Manxcat, what a beautiful sight!! The picture of your town is so wonderful looking. How is Pushkin doing?


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## SillyHuman (May 17, 2014)

Dear PF pups,

Something suspicious happened yesterday. We took a very long ride in the car, without the window open! Then when we stopped, I was not allowed of the car. I could see my girl in a yard, along with a whole bunch of puppies, and two small dogs, and two big dogs, and lots of things that smelled VERY interesting. Then she came back to the car and took my bed out! I watched her take my bed to the puppies. They did not know it was for sleeping, so they played and chewed on it - on my bed! I cannot lay down without smelling them, so I refuse to use my bed now.

I am not sleeping in a bed that smells like a dozen other dogs! What is up with letting strange dogs play in my bed anyway? It's all very suspicious, I tell you! Long drives usually mean fishing, camping, fun things. This was as much fun as having my anal glands expressed. :at-wits-end:


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## hopetocurl (Jan 8, 2014)

Manxcat said:


> Hi Willow's Mom!
> 
> Lol - sorry to disappoint! We moved last year to a new build so I could have a garden to play in instead of just a concrete yard. Our old house was over 250 years old, but this one is just 4 years old. Below, just for you, I've attached a pic of the view from my Mum's office window and a view of the rest of our town (you can't see our current house, but our previous one is there). Hope you like these better!
> 
> ...



Yes, that is what I was hoping to see! Beautiful countryside! I think in the States we have the impression that everything in the UK/Europe is old. Apparently, that is not the case!!



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## hopetocurl (Jan 8, 2014)

SillyHuman said:


> Dear PF pups,
> 
> 
> 
> ...



SillyHuman, why did this happen?


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## SillyHuman (May 17, 2014)

[SillyHuman thought getting the pup's scent on the car bed might help cranky ol' dog adapt. She did not know that every dog in the yard was going to pounce on the bed as soon as it hit the ground.]


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## Manxcat (May 6, 2013)

SillyHuman said:


> [SillyHuman thought getting the pup's scent on the car bed might help cranky ol' dog adapt. She did not know that every dog in the yard was going to pounce on the bed as soon as it hit the ground.]


LOL - that's sooo funny! The humans do the daftest things but I think they mean well 
Pippin
xx


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## Indiana (Sep 11, 2011)

This is Aria: I have the blood of 1000 pit fighters in my veins! I keep those big poodles in line, they cower when I approach! Actually they lay down so u I can reach their faces, but I'm pretty sure they're terrified. When my owners look at me, I lose partial feeling in my legs and wiggle all around because they might pet me. Here I am putting my head in Maddys alligator-like beak, and sun beaming.















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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

Dear Aria,

What a brave pup you are to take on those spoo jaws!

xo,
Lily


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## Manxcat (May 6, 2013)

Wow Aria!! I wouldn't take on those jaws, uh huh, no way! You are my hero(ine)!
Love Pippin
xx


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## MollyMuiMa (Oct 13, 2012)

My Goodness Aria! 
I think you should take Maddie and run away and join the Circus......your 'Act' could be like the humans do when they put their head inside a Lion's mouth! Just think how rich & famous you could be!!!!!!!!

Your Friend,
MOLLY


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## MollyMuiMa (Oct 13, 2012)

Dear Poodle Forum Friends................

It is time to resume this thread cuz I have to do some ranting!
I also know we have a lot of youngsters here who probably need to get a few things off their chests too.....learning to live with our Humans is hard and exasperating work!

Now, as a young lady Bitch, who has acquired a certain "Joie de vivre" and dignity of character, I have to take my Human Mom to task for still treating me like a puppy with her never ending commands...........'Molly sit" Molly down" Molly come" "MOLLY MOLLY MOLLY" Good Grief Woman.....Leave me alone!!! Just let me do what I want to do why don't ya???? That woman irks the crap outta me when she's in 'training mode' ............
MOM I'm all grown up now.....you can trust me! (most of the time anyway...snigger snigger) Like really Mom...that lizard that ran into the canyon and you made me stop....why? you know I would've come back! TRUST ME MOM!!!! You are ruining my fun lately and I HATE it! You are not following the rules Mom.....the Poodle Rule Book says I'm the boss! I thought you read it?
The End of My Rant...........:aetsch:
LOVE,
MOLLY


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## Click-N-Treat (Nov 9, 2015)

Dear Molly,

My mom is the worst. There used to be magic paper in the bathroom. It was on a roll and my sister and I grabbed the end and ran around the house. We made beautiful decorations. Now, my mom keeps the magic paper high on a shelf. I can't reach it anymore. What is that magic paper for anyway? I miss my streamers. 

When my mom eats, she makes me lie down and won't gives me any. Doesn't she know that sharing is caring? Well, sometimes she shares. If I lie down and stay super quiet, sometimes she saves the last bite for me. But not when she is eating this stuff called chocolate. It smells so yummy. Why won't she share? Why not? It's not fair. I lie down and wait and wait and wait forever, but she doesn't ever share her chocolate. Not even a nibble. Not even a teeny tiny, itty bitty, eensy weensy crumb. She just eats it all! My mom is selfish, that's why. 

Thanks for letting me rant. I feel a little better. 

Love, 
Noelle


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

How did I not see this before?! We have LOTS of not fair things to talk about - like why we can't finish off the cats' food straight away, when we know they eat a little bit and then leave the rest for later because it is out of our reach and they want to tease us. And all that Sit, Down, Wait business - why not just give us the treat at once? And rain. Humans seem to think they are very clever, so why can't they turn off the rain? 

But most of all Sophy says they should stop making Bang noises. Last night was worst - I don't mind them too much, and Sophy says that although she thinks they are scary it is OK as long as she can stay very close to Mum and have her ears rubbed, but last night there were lots and lots and lots of bangs, and they went on for hours. Mum said it was better than usual, because this year it was all down in the village instead of on the field behind our house, and she stayed home with us, and even put a pad thing on the bathroom floor when we said it was too scary to pee outside, but we managed to hold on until the bangs stopped and then nipped out and did it very close to the door. Anyway, Mum says we were both very good and very brave, and she didn't really mind missing the party, but we think humans should stop making scary bangs, just because they think it is a fun thing to do!


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## BorderKelpie (Dec 3, 2011)

Hi, this is Coulter, Bug's big brother (I'm the BorderKelpieACD guy)

Little Miss, you are so right about the Big Bang things! They is horrid! When Mum found me 10 or so years ago, I had a big bang ouchie in my shoulder so I know those 'Just a Noise' things are dangerous. (Note from Mum - Coulter had been shot while running loose with his previous humans). Mum worked with me a lot and I was ok with them for a while, but for some reason, now that my muzzle is turning silver, they are starting to scare me again. 
Sophy and Poppy and all you poodle people, stay close to your Mums, my Mum said your Mums are wonderful and love us and would protect us from all that evil stuff. Be brave, Little Misses! 

Coulter, not a poodle, but loveable anyway.


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

This is Lily here complaining that Javelin keeps touching my head. He is always tapping me with his foot, over and over. I show him my snarly face and I growl at him even sometimes and he doesn't listen to me. He doesn't stop until the people here tell him to knock it off (and sometimes, not even then). Is he ever going to grow up?


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

This is Javvy Pups. Nobody wants to play with me! I keep asking Lily to play and she just shows me her teeth and makes rumbly noises. I keep asking her to play, but she just keeps showing me her teeth. Sometimes she tries really hard to get me to go away by making her serious snarly face. I don't understand why since she plays with me lots of the time. Mom does a lot of stuff with me, but it is sometimes very hard and makes my head hurt trying to figure out what I am supposed to be doing.


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## glorybeecosta (Nov 11, 2014)

Molly I know what you mean, in this house all you here is Bella. Sage, Cayenne, a then a long monologue. For some reason she hollower Sage, Bella never gets her name called, and if it is not Sage, it is me Cayenne.

Far as the roll of paper, I am telling all my furry friends stay away from it, I got in trouble when I first came her 2 times after I decorated the foyer and the dining room. Sometimes it is just no fun here.


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## peonies (Aug 10, 2016)

Dear Molly and other poodle friends,

This is Charlie here and I have to rant as well. One of my biggest peeves is when we go out in the car, and Mom won't let me get out and play with all the dogs we see when we along the way. Like at the recycling center where there is this really cute Skipperke who wanders around not even on a leash. I want to get out and wander around without a leash too! Yesterday Mom let me out of the car for a few minutes to say hello and sniff different parts of him, but she kept me on a leash. Meanie! Maybe when I get older I can wander around the recycling center too. So many cool people go there and unload all sorts of yummy smelling stuff!


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## Asta's Mom (Aug 20, 2014)

Dear Molly - this is Asta, BTW you are beautiful. My rant has to do with this new cat we got - his name is Jax and he is my new friend -BUT Mom wants special time with the cat which I don't like. When I try to interrupt she just pushes me away - AAWWW. Now then, when I am playing with Jax, sometimes he will bat at me or try to bite and worst of all he will make this horrible noise called Hissing - I don't know why he does that, he is supposed to be my friend. What is it with these animals called cats, sometimes I really don't understand.


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## kontiki (Apr 6, 2013)

Dear Molly, I am so glad to finally have a place to rant. You would think I am invisible! My Mom is so dumb she still can't figure out how to even put a picture of me on here so you can see how beautiful I am. I have heard that in this day and age all humans know how to use computers. Well, I guess it is all but one. And she's 70 years old too. You would think by now she would be able to figure it out. Anyway, I sure like looking at pictures of you all!

This makes me so mad. I just got up from laying next to her and moved farther down the couch so she will know I am angry. But I'll bet she can't even figure out why!


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## Click-N-Treat (Nov 9, 2015)

Kontiki, Noelle's mom just sent you a private message.


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## Mfmst (Jun 18, 2014)

I have so many grievances, it's a good thing I have 4 paws! I have the male in the house under my command but the female keeps reading PF and getting ideas above her station. Like she's in charge! It doesn't help that a lot of you guys out there are goody four paws. Set the bar lower, stop amazing the female with your subservience! Give a guy, a break. Square one are two of my least favorite words. 

Shout out to Sophy and Poppy in England for describing some of your homemade feasts. The male felt sorry for me and made a delicious fish topping for my kibble. It has lots of salmon, some carrot and 1/2 a sweet potato. Love! The female says she has ordered a test to see if I should be eating that. I'd like to order a few tests for her! Chocolate is poison, right? Dead woman walking...

More later,

Buck


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## StormeeK (Aug 3, 2015)

Here are my big two recent rants... from Dewey:

#1: HEADLESS RABBIT: Rex and I are always trying to catch rabbits. ( Rabbit lovers stop reading.) Rex and I finally bring a headless rabbit together, each holding onto it, ( won't tell who ate the head ) to our Daddy yesterday morning and he herds us directly into the garage. We were SO proud. The rabbit disappears quickly. WHAT?? We worked hard for that rabbit! Doesn't anyone care?

#2. SILLY FUR BRACELETS: Why do I have to have these fur bracelets on my feet? In the morning I run through the mud and my Mama has to clean them. At night we have to sit and brush the stickers out. My Mama says without them I have stick legs because she'a not good at scissors on my legs. WHO really Cares??? I just want to be free and have the stick legs!

Molly - come to Texas and you can chase a million lizards in our yard AND the ones that get in our house. Just don't actually catch them because my Mama loves any and all reptiles.

To The Jav, From The Dew .... come to visit and Rex and I will play with you ALL the time. You sound like our kind of guy. We play and run hard!

Coulter - nice to meet you! We wondered where the "BorderKelpie" name came from. You may remember my mama thought y'all were Australian! If you're Bug's big brother then of course you can rant here! Being
from Texas too we know you have to be careful of the dangerous Big Bangs that go on sometimes! Glad you are ok now. Be careful - humans can be scary.

GloryB - Love your new signature pic of the three girls. 

Kontiki - We are hoping your Mama got help on pictures! We really want to see you. Bet you are beautiful!

Yay for you Buck. Sounds like you are getting things under control down there in Houston. Don't chew too hard on the rope ...you may not be able to eat anything good if you do. 

Thanks for letting me rant....LOVE Dewey


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## BorderKelpie (Dec 3, 2011)

Coulter, again. 

Thanks, Dewey. I may not be in Australia, but I donated blood before and my blood type isn't the normal American stuff, I guess there's more Aussie in me than the humans thought. 
Yeah, Mum saved me from some humans when I was a young'un. Since then, I've tried to save her from some. She's a bit silly, but she's a good girl. 

-Coulter, not a poodle, but I play with one by the TV.


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## blueroan (Dec 28, 2015)

Wuff woof!!! 

I'm Honey and I have LOTS to say! I'm the queen of my castle and nobody had dare dispute it. 

I finally had to give in about peeing and pooping outside. I think it's a pain to have to go outdoors in all weathers when I could just as easily go indoors! But my humans get upset at me. At least I get my raincoat when it's raining! 

I love jumping up on the big bed and barking at everything outside! NOBODY IS COMING IN HERE!! But I get tossed off if I bark too long. Not fair. I'm the only protection they have around here. 

And what's with the weather?! It's COLD! I trot as quick as I can when I walk so I stay warm! At least my human bundles me in sweaters so I stay warmer. But I'm not allowed to get dirty!! Or bring leaves in the house! But I love leaves, especially now, when they are EVERYWHERE!

What's this about "winter"? I think it's going to be colder than ever...how am I supposed to survive this? I already shiver if I'm not bundled up. Will it be warm again?

I also leave toys around the house so I have a generous supply whenever I feel the need to toss something. But then they disappear into a box, when I KNOW I didn't put them there. Apparently my humans don't like stepping on a squeaky toy. 

I don't get this game of "fetch" that my humans play. I looooooove my ball! I want them to THROW my ball so I can chase it! They aren't allowed to touch it though. No touch! ONLY THROW!!!


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## glorybeecosta (Nov 11, 2014)

Hi Honey
I am Cayenne the youngest and am writing for Bella and Sage also. We know all about not getting dirty, mom makes us lay on a blanket when on the patio. And talk about cold, I weigh 3.5 pounds and I about freeze to death. If Mom sees I am all bend over almost like a ball, she says, Is my baby cold". Does she think I would be walking like that if I wasn't, some times I wonder if she has a brain in her head. She got us snowsuits and boy are they warm, and we all like them, we know we are going by by when they come out.

When Sager came to live with us, there was bird poo on the patio, I did not go near it, and as I stood there I knew what Sage was going to do, yep, she down she goes head first. Oh, did Mom holler at her, and them came the pink case out. Bella and I took off, and Sage had to get a bath, we got a kick out of that, as Sage is so prissy. 

Hang in there Honey, it gets better as we get older, I do not get in as much trouble as I used to, but still some.


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