# dogs and family/friends



## outwest (May 1, 2011)

The holidays have passed and we had a LOT of people here on and off. The kids all came (nice), the brothers and sisters, Aunts/Uncles, nieces, etcetera. The dogs did great with all the hubbub, but it left me wondering if I am a little too dog oriented. 

-Someone yelled at one of my dogs to shut up when they barked at the door for a doorbell. I got mad at the person (I want the dogs to bark at the door bell). My dogs are well trained. I tell them 'quiet' and they are quiet. I showed the person that and they acted surprised that the dogs would listen to me. 

-One friend/acquaintance of a daughter started teasing my Jazz, batting his rear end/shaking his head and trying to rile him up. It frightened Jazz and the guy called him a woosy dog when Jazz ran to hide from the guy (mind you, Jazz is 7 months old) and started chasing Jazz for fun to frighten him. I told my daughter that guy wasn't welcome here anymore (good thing it was a so-so friend and not a boyfriend ). 

-My neice started pulling Bonnie's hair and I gently showed her how to pet nicely because her mom and dad thought nothing of an 18 month old pulling her tail (they thought it was cute). I tried to tell them Bonnie was a good dog and would not bite my niece, but another dog might. 

-For dinner with 15 people I put them in their crates even though they are well behaved because someone else thought the dogs should not be 'around the dinner table'. They thought it was unsanitary or something.

-THEN- gasp- Bonnie jumped on the footstool where she likes to lie and someone called them spoiled and how come they were allowed on the furniture. 

-I pick up the poop every day, but alas, someone stepped in an errant pile in the backyard and got ticked. How could I stand dog poop in the yard, they asked.

-Someone clearly thought Bonnie's holiday toenails were crazy. 

Okay, so it wasn't all bad. Many people loved the dogs, but I wonder- is it only me that treats my dogs the way I do? Am I nuts or something? Yah, I know three dogs is a lot of dogs, but I like my dogs. I look forward to lying on the couch surrounded by my dogs watching TV. I don't mind them lying quietly around the dinner table (they do not beg). 

I suppose the people on this group are fond of their dogs or they wouldn't be on this group. I'm not kookoo- really I am not. :angel2: It seems to me that if people want to come to my house (and they are welcome) that they have to understand this is a DOG house. My house is clean. My dogs are clean. What's the deal? I like dogs, sometimes more than people...


----------



## N2Mischief (Dec 3, 2012)

I'm with you! If you want to come to my house, be advised it also belongs to my dogs. If you don't like them, don't come here. I surely won't be offended. I now have a poodle (yay no shedding) but my other two babies are chihuahuas and they shed like little buffalos. I vacuum twice a week. They are allowed on the furniture. If you don't like hair on your clothes, don't sit down!


----------



## mom24doggies (Mar 28, 2011)

I am with you OW! As far as I am concerned, the dogs live here too and should be treated with respect by all. I don't think you are kookoo or that you overstepped any boundaries. If someone can't deal with the amount of dogs I have, well, they are welcome to stop coming over. I do my best to make sure my dogs behave, and the ones that don't stay crated or otherwise confined when company is over. My dogs are always clean, as is their bedding, crates, and yard. They do bark at company for a moment yes. As soon as they figure out who it is and that I'm ok with that person being there they stop. 

And as far as I'm concerned, nobody yells at my dog but me if I so choose. And what is it with visiting kids harassing the dogs?! My own siblings know good and well to ask before petting them, especially the littler ones, and they know to play/pet gently. Almost every other kid that comes over ends up frightening, bullying, or otherwise annoying at least one of my dogs! Dusty actually nipped the neighbor kid she teased him so much. (He accidentally go outside unsupervised when she was over....tell ya what though, she stayed away from him after that!) Trev has been screamed at and then cornered by a kid that came over...He only growled a little though. All have been grabbed at, pulled on, and stepped on. I do my best to keep the dogs out of the way and put them up, but sometimes life happens. When you live with 11 other people, not everything is in your control. :-/ Others end up letting the dogs out, or taking visitors to see them. I just don't understand what is so hard about teaching a child how to be polite to a dog! It isn't hard really.


----------



## Fluffyspoos (Aug 11, 2009)

That's why I try to stay around dog people, non-dog people are just not allowed to be around my dogs! My dogs are pleasant creatures, and if I don't deem you a worthy person, you don't get to see them!


----------



## petitpie (Nov 16, 2011)

Some people don't know how to behave around dogs. If I suspected that, I would spare my dogs' being mistreated by crating them or putting them into another room until the company left.


----------



## MaryLynn (Sep 8, 2012)

I don't think you're too dog oriented. 

The only hard time with Gryphon from anyone that I got was my dad who doesn't particularly like parenting my step brother (he remarried and now has a six year old son who is absolutely NOT dog safe and can be very violent/cruel around animals). Gryphon is afraid of children, but he did really well and would eventually let my brother pet him, however he would not listen to me and kept insisting on trying to hug him/pick him up etc, and my dad thought that Gryphon would learn best by allowing Jacob to "tame" him. 

My dad thought it was stupid when I told him that all he was doing was reinforcing my dogs fear of children, and affirming that they were not safe. 

My step-moms mother was there, too, and she was being an ass hat when it came to my terrier-getting him super worked up and then petting him while he was being nuts as she informed me dogs were just supposed to be that way.

I kept it together, it's just one day, and they did for the most part like my dogs. We will recover, haha.


----------



## LEUllman (Feb 1, 2010)

You mean, being considered "kookoo" is a bad thing?


----------



## Rhett'smom (Sep 23, 2012)

No you are not kookoo!!!! Having a similar experience at my house a few years ago with DH family !!! It became clear that majority of "them" are just not dog/animal people. So they do not visit often ( there are other reasons such as geography we live in Ct and they live in the south) and if they do the dog comes first no matter what. The same with traveling to visit them... No dog no visit. An unspoken rule but it works for me. Besides my dogs have always been better company and don't complain about the things that most family who are visiting do. So our holidays are very quiet and that is a very large blessing


Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Jdcollins (Feb 3, 2011)

I had a ton of people over Christmas Eve.... I know a bunch of you don't like Caeser Milan but I use his "no talk, no touch, no eye contact" rule with guests.... I started it Bc Lola was a piddler but realized its a lot less stressful on the dogs if a bunch strangers aren't messing with them (besides the fact that then ppl can't be messing with their top knots lol) and it was almost as if the dogs naturally adopted the same rule for themselves Bc they both ended up sprawled out on my bed away from the company. There were small children and a few idiots in my house :-/ and I felt better that the pups were chillaxing on my bed  .... btw... My bedroom door was wide open so they were choosing to be there.

And had I seen a child or adult teasing one of them I would def have stepped in and stopped that.... ESP a puppy or a nervous dog... I have 7 and 10 year old children and they are EXTREMELY respectful with our two spoos (or else).... and their friends too! Neighborhood kids walk into my house looking up at the ceiling (no eye contact lol) We have them all trained... They know not to mess with the poodles or their koo koo mother ;-)

As far as poop in the yard...well .....I have two 40-50lb dogs... They don't poop in the house... That's pretty much fair warning to watch where u step in the yard ?


Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


----------



## cindyreef (Sep 28, 2012)

Oh boy....NOBODY yells at my dog. That is reserved for me and hubby.. IF need be. 

It depends who comes over to visit. If its normal people Dex is allowed out to greet like normal. How else when he learn to behave around normal people? By normal I mean dog people, of coarse.  Now if my brother in law and his wife are here I tread carefully and may keep Dex in my bedroom. They just dont like dogs and they seldom come over so...

I have another brother in law that lives next door. I never realized he doesnt have any use for dogs. But he loves Dex. He has said to members of his and hubbys family " I dont care for dogs but for some reason I really like that dog" He is bewildered as to why but Ill take it! Some day I will tell him "its because its a poodle. They are special"


----------



## peppersb (Jun 5, 2011)

Oh Outwest, what a terrible experience. It sounds like your family are the ones that need the "training."

I feel incredibly fortunate. My cousin who I had not seen in a few years wanted to stay at my house over the holidays along with her pregnant daughter, daughter's husband and young son. I wrote back that they would be welcome provided that they agree to abide by house rules: (1) no factory farmed meat allowed in the house and (2) be nice to the dogs. They agreed and we had a great time. All 4 of them were very comfortable with my dogs, even though they have no dogs of their own. Mom and Dad taught their son about "gentle touch" and he was great with the dogs. "Bob" and "Cammie" were added to his rapidly expanding vocabulary and he was running around accurately calling them by name. The dogs were on the furniture, and the little boy was on the dog bed. Everyone was happy. Here are a few dog-centric photos from the their visit.


----------



## Chagall's mom (Jan 9, 2010)

We had a slew of company for Hanukkah, people coming and going for days. Chagall was included in everything, which is SOP around here. One of our guests, who was up visiting from Florida with his eight year old twin sons, had to make a drug store run to get a short refill on his HBP Rx. He and his sons asked if they could take Chagall along for the ride.:car2: 

I honestly had a brief debate with myself about whether to let him go!:thinking: I tried to negotiate having one son stay here with us, just be sure Chagall wouldn't be "dog napped" and taken back to Florida. 

I had to show them how to seatbelt Chagall securely into the back seat, where he sat proudly between the twins.:dog: The drug store lets Chagall come in, so that was an added thrill for the children. Though an added worry for me, over protective as I am. Would they hold tight to his leash? Would they seatbelt him back in correctly? Would they prevent him from shoplifting from the lower shelves? _(Can you say cuckoo?!) _

They all came back safe and happy, toting dog treats (Milk Bones, a.k.a. "junk food" Chagall only gets from the UPS guy) and a ball. Given the option, I think Chagall would have driven back home to Florida with them.

I go by the "my house, my rules" school of thought. Anyone who enters has to treat the poodle like the sweet lord of the manner he is. Happily, it's never been otherwise here.:smile:


----------



## just june (Oct 3, 2012)

"As far as poop in the yard...well .....I have two 40-50lb dogs... They don't poop in the house... That's pretty much fair warning to watch where u step in the yard" ?

:act-up: made me smile when i read it.
i'm thinking of making a fun sign to hang by my front door with this on it!

all my family/friends know my animals are #1 with us


----------



## Poodlemama99 (Feb 12, 2010)

My rule is if you don't like my dogs don't come to my house. I will put my kids away only to prevent them from getting hurt with big giant feet not looking where they are going and stepping on a poodle. If you don't like barking, dog toys, poop ( I clean up as they do it but an errant pile is always possible), and dogs on furniture then invite me to your house. Lol. My poodles are my children and are treated as such. (Actually they get away with more than my 2 legged kids did). Hehe. The poodles make me happier than pretty much every human I have ever known. 


Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Ryker-&-Canyon (Dec 12, 2012)

I am sorry you and the dogs had to go through this stress. If loving, respecting, caring about our dogs is being kookoo, then I want to be kookoo. Most of my friends and family are big dog and/or cat people (except my dad), so they totally understand it. My parents live with us, they are soon-to-be 78 and 84 years old. My dad has learned that he does not need to gush all over the cats and dogs but he MUST respect them and that I set the rules and boundaries with them. I keep them out of my parent's bedroom and my dad's office. The rest of the house they have as much right to as we all do. 

And your loving dogs more then people sometimes, that makes complete sense. Cats and dogs show such respect for their people. They are so loving and caring. Some people could learn a lesson or two from animals.


----------



## Abbe gails Mom (Nov 8, 2012)

NO! its not just you. My Dogs come 1st, and everyone that knows me, knows that.If you dont like it, dont come to my house.Because, after all the people leave, dogs are still there ,loveing me, with me night & day, they take me however I am, dont talk about me behind my back, & are allways happy to see me, when I come home( even if all I did was to step out to get the mail. Give me my dogs, people come & go, good, when they come, Better when they Go.


----------



## Indiana (Sep 11, 2011)

Yeah, the thing is whenever people don't share an interest, there is often a lack of respect or unwillingness to understand the importance of that interest to others. It used to drive me crazy when people would do those things to my KIDS, get them all wound up by teasing and annoying them. Or criticizing them when the kids were overtired or sick (their own grandma did that actually) and I was trying to get them settled down and to bed. People come first, but everywhere you go there are people who have narrow, stingy views and I just think that they haven't experienced the richness in life that pets (and kids) offer! Their loss


----------



## schnauzerpoodle (Apr 21, 2010)

People are not allowed to yell at my dog just like I don't yell at other people's kids no matter how much they are annoying me. Period. If they have a problem with my dog (e.g. my dog is bullying theirs) they should tell me and I will discipline mine.

Any guest should understand that they are GUESTS while my dog is the HOST. My dog is the resident of the house. He is allowed to go anywhere that I allow while my guests are not welcome to walk around my house, explore my bedrooms, investigate my closets without my invitation.

Nobody is allowed to pull on any body parts of my dog's. It's not cute. It's not funny. It's not polite. I don't understand why people define a good dog as one that lets a child do anything on it. You don't go out and say, "oh, my wife is good because she lets everyone do anything to her."

I'm so annoyed by the one who kept teasing Jazz. Can people go and bug his 80-year-old grandmother or 3-year-old niece like he did to Jazz? Why does a dog have to accept whatever humans want to do them/think it would be fun? 

Last time my MIL and her grandson visited and said the same thing - that Nickel shouldn't be allowed on the furniture. I kept telling her nicely that there's plenty of space on the couch and that Nickel's a non-shedding dog but after she repeatedly made that statement and started to scare Nickel off the couch, I told her, "This is not kind and I think you are setting a bad example in front of your grandson. You are teaching him to bully a dog and he would grow up thinking it's alright to bully others. AND this is MY home, MY couch, MY dog."


----------



## poo lover (Nov 7, 2012)

Must be koo koo too cause you don't like my animals don't come to my house I don't lock up their roten kids not locking up mine either just don't come to my house (cause have lotsa four legged love here) (1 spoo,1 very friendly cat and 2 very freindly ferrets) so we must be koo koo too what a great club


----------



## MollyMuiMa (Oct 13, 2012)

I'm of the thought,"This is mine and Molly's home....you are welcome here as long as you respect it and us!" Luckily most of my relatives just laugh and go along with my preoccupation with Molly cuz they all have animals of their own!MY house MY rules! I also respect other peoples homes and always ask before I bring Molly with me.:nod:


----------



## Carley's Mom (Oct 30, 2011)

You must be much nicer than me... People that visit here know better than to try that s*** with my dogs.


----------



## sulamk (Nov 5, 2011)

My standard reply to these type of people!

"TO NON-PET OWNERS who visit our homes. Don't complain about our pets.
(1) They live here, you don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'Fur'-niture.
(3) Chances are, I love my pets more than I like you.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are family ..who are hairy, walk on all fours & don't talk back.
I have 5 dogs and 2 cats. 6 children (all grown) and 9 grand children


----------



## LauraRose (Dec 26, 2012)

We have rules in our house for guests. 
Liam lives here, you don't. Respect that. Listen to his parents (David & I, ok - me. Lol) for how to interact with him. 

We also follow a No Touch No Look till he comes to you routine. (I am not a Milan fan, but see this as common dog interaction sense.) Even then, no reaching hands over his head: Pet on chest or under chin. 
I generally bring him outside to meet first-time arriving guests. He's happier with that, rather than strangers coming straight into "his" house. 
We ask guests to stand sideways to him & cross their arms, once inside. 
Then, usually, he'll come right over to them, sometimes with a toy. There's always the chance though, that he'll want nothing to do with a certain person. We don't force him. 

Course, he's a Doberman, so people generally don't press the issue.  


Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


----------



## LEUllman (Feb 1, 2010)

LauraRose said:


> Course, he's a Doberman, so people generally don't press the issue.


LOL, I bet they don't. I sure wouldn't! :afraid: Attitudes change when you have a fluffy little poo in a Miami. Like Rodney Dangerfield, they get no respect, I tell ya!


----------



## murphys (Mar 1, 2012)

I do believe "your house, your rules." You are not "kookoo" They are your family; when I am in your home, your rules apply. Although if your dog jumps on me, I will tell him "off". 

Yelling at or teasing my dog or cat is not allowed. They yell or tease and they will be on the short end of a lecture.

It appears however that some of my rules are the exception to all of yours. Fritz is not allowed on furniture and he sleep in his crate in my room with the door to his crate closed. There are reasons for this. 1. He sleeps in the crate because we have a cat who has free reign of the home. Although they are learning to get along, I want to be awake when they are both roaming free. 2. Given time, he can get into a whole heap of mischief. 3. My brother would like to have Fritz for sleep overs and he needs to sleep in a crate.

Not going on the furniture is just a rule. He has dog beds in the office and in the living room where I tend to spend most of my time. Not being on the furniture is a rule he is used to.

As far as the person who was outraged by the poop. Hello, if you are that concerned, ask about a pick up policy and still look or stick to walkways. A pick up policy is in place at our home but I don't offer guarantees. I would have probably handed the person who was ticked a poop bag (they are right by the back door) and told them since they knew where the poop was would they mind picking it up or maybe I would have just thought about saying it. 

People who enter any of our homes know we have pets who are part of the family. They should look to the host or hostess for guidance on the house rules. They may not agree with them but they should try to honor them.


----------



## cindyreef (Sep 28, 2012)

LauraRose said:


> We have rules in our house for guests.
> Liam lives here, you don't. Respect that. Listen to his parents (David & I, ok - me. Lol) for how to interact with him.
> 
> We also follow a No Touch No Look till he comes to you routine. (I am not a Milan fan, but see this as common dog interaction sense.) Even then, no reaching hands over his head: Pet on chest or under chin.
> ...





Oh mY Goodness did your quote ever bring back memories. Years ago when the kids were young we had a doberman. He was huge..an easy 100lbs. lived to 14. He was the biggest baby ever, wouldnt hurt a flea...even scared of the kittens. But, People were so scared of him. Of coarse I cant blame them. He was tall and its scary to look out your car window and see a dobermans teeth while he is barking in your face. :afraid:


----------



## liljaker (Aug 6, 2011)

Outwest -- I agree with you; however, most of my friends (for example) ARE dog people, and most are poodle people, too, so I usually don't have those issues. Just lucky I guess. I had a holiday birthday/open house with around 30 people over the course of a day. It was actually a bit much for Sunny since everyone wanted to talk to him, watch him, pet him, etc.; I believe he was thrilled when they all left and he curled up next to me.


----------



## swismiself (Feb 26, 2012)

I am a dog person who doesn't currently have a dog, but has 4 cats. Two of my cats are especially naughty when it comes to food on the table, so when we have guests over I will tend to shut them in the bedroom for a while while we eat. They're always given a chance to stay out, but if they come trying to steal, off to the bedroom they go. At the very least, I have a few squirt bottles around in case anyone gets too close. I admit that I've allowed my cats to get spoiled over the years, and we deal with it. 

I love dogs and love having them around. But on Christmas day when we went to my husband's aunt's house, I admit I was very frustrated. Auntie set up a cute little table for my son (4), nephew (4), and niece (2), low to the ground. Her two dogs spent the entire time with their noses in the kids' laps, or trying to lick their faces, or take food that was dropped. Sitting at the table, the kids were eye level with the two dogs, who refused to leave them alone. The kids definitely didn't like it. At one point, my MIL asked Auntie if we could shut the dogs in the bedroom just until the kids were done eating, and she replied "Well, you could try, but they won't stay there." 

I should also mention that a few months ago, during dinner, Grandma dropped a napkin on the floor and one of the dogs went for it. Grandma went to pick up the napkin and the dog bit her hand! I ended up spending the entire Christmas meal shooing dogs away from the kids, worried that the kids would try to pick something up that had dropped from the floor, only to get bit by an old, half blind dog going for the same item. 

So tell me, was my frustration unreasonable?


----------



## swismiself (Feb 26, 2012)

cindyreef said:


> Oh mY Goodness did your quote ever bring back memories. Years ago when the kids were young we had a doberman. He was huge..an easy 100lbs. lived to 14. He was the biggest baby ever, wouldnt hurt a flea...even scared of the kittens. But, People were so scared of him. Of coarse I cant blame them. He was tall and its scary to look out your car window and see a dobermans teeth while he is barking in your face. :afraid:












My sweet companion growing up (I think I was about 3 in this photo). Greatest dog ever!


----------



## schnauzerpoodle (Apr 21, 2010)

swismiself said:


> I am a dog person who doesn't currently have a dog, but has 4 cats. Two of my cats are especially naughty when it comes to food on the table, so when we have guests over I will tend to shut them in the bedroom for a while while we eat. They're always given a chance to stay out, but if they come trying to steal, off to the bedroom they go. At the very least, I have a few squirt bottles around in case anyone gets too close. I admit that I've allowed my cats to get spoiled over the years, and we deal with it.
> 
> I love dogs and love having them around. But on Christmas day when we went to my husband's aunt's house, I admit I was very frustrated. Auntie set up a cute little table for my son (4), nephew (4), and niece (2), low to the ground. Her two dogs spent the entire time with their noses in the kids' laps, or trying to lick their faces, or take food that was dropped. Sitting at the table, the kids were eye level with the two dogs, who refused to leave them alone. The kids definitely didn't like it. At one point, my MIL asked Auntie if we could shut the dogs in the bedroom just until the kids were done eating, and she replied "Well, you could try, but they won't stay there."
> 
> ...


No, your frustration was not unreasonable at all. BUT since you were at her house, the (inconsiderate, in this case) hostess had the say. If I were a mother of a four-year-old child in this situation, I would have told my husband's aunt, "The children's table is really cute. You are so sweet setting that up but I want my son to focus while eating. That's kind of an ongoing training in our home. Is it okay if he sits with us?"

I have no right to discipline other people's pets/kids but I can control where my pets/kids go, I guess.


----------



## Harrymummy (Aug 27, 2012)

Interesting post. I had a similar situation before the holidays. Was really upset as friend was playing hard with Harry but unhappy he is still mouthing. Sure it hurts, he has teeth but if you play hard the risk increases. 

I offered to put him in his crate or completely ignore him. Well she said she would ignore , but he continued to play and she continued to play. He nipped her and she smacked him in front of me. It was a 'play' tap but in my mind out of line. He is my dog at the end of the day and how I reprimand him is my decision. 

I was upset and shocked but really did not know what to do as she was ignoring me already. I texted the next day and said what I felt. I felt better and also I was entitled to say it. She took it but not sure how the friendship will go now....

(Harry is not my child. He is a dog. But like an analogy of a child, every parent has own ideas of parenting. On the whole no one is more right or wrong in their method, but each parent has the right to determine what happens in the child's upbringing)


----------



## tattoogirl73 (Nov 18, 2012)

i find sometimes that the non dog friends are often the best to vist round mine because they totally ignore them so they both setle back down in their beds very quickly. the dog loving ones are a nightmare at the moment because they just want to fuss the cute puppy and ignore opie. i now tell guests that they either pay opie attention first or they have to ignore both dogs.


----------



## Indiana (Sep 11, 2011)

tattoogirl73 said:


> i find sometimes that the non dog friends are often the best to vist round mine because they totally ignore them so they both setle back down in their beds very quickly.


That's true! I just realized I like that too


----------



## cindyreef (Sep 28, 2012)

swismiself said:


> I am a dog person who doesn't currently have a dog, but has 4 cats. Two of my cats are especially naughty when it comes to food on the table, so when we have guests over I will tend to shut them in the bedroom for a while while we eat. They're always given a chance to stay out, but if they come trying to steal, off to the bedroom they go. At the very least, I have a few squirt bottles around in case anyone gets too close. I admit that I've allowed my cats to get spoiled over the years, and we deal with it.
> 
> I love dogs and love having them around. But on Christmas day when we went to my husband's aunt's house, I admit I was very frustrated. Auntie set up a cute little table for my son (4), nephew (4), and niece (2), low to the ground. Her two dogs spent the entire time with their noses in the kids' laps, or trying to lick their faces, or take food that was dropped. Sitting at the table, the kids were eye level with the two dogs, who refused to leave them alone. The kids definitely didn't like it. At one point, my MIL asked Auntie if we could shut the dogs in the bedroom just until the kids were done eating, and she replied "Well, you could try, but they won't stay there."
> 
> ...





Absloutely not!

It was bad manners for the dogs to be allowed to sit and bother the kids, especially while they eat. And bite Grams hand??? Enough said. My dog would of learned a quick and hard lesson there on the spot...but by ME. If by chance I wasnt there, I would hope someone would reasonably reprimand the dog right away so it would know biting anyone is unacceptable. 
A well behaved dog should also listen and respect boundaries even if they are given by a guest. They should not have free run to behave badly. I think this thread was meant to explore how we felt about people not respecting and verbally abusing our dogs in our home. Just because someone doesnt like dogs, they certainly dont have the right to disrespect the canine member of our family. But, if we invite or allow people to enter our home they deserve a little respect too. Not to be harrassed by uncontrollable dogs jumping all over them, knocking down their kids or biting Gramas hand...... 
My son has 2 dogs and even though I love them and babysit them in my home for their vacations I hate that they jump all over us when we visit them. Their claws hurt, imagine a kid!
BTW ...they dont jump up on people when they are in my home, they just wag their tails allot more.


----------



## sweetheartsrodeo (Sep 19, 2012)

I have to say, I feel your pain this season. Normally holidays are done at my mother's home or mine. This year we were split between two nursing homes, visiting my Great Aunt and my grandfather. Neither of them are dog people. My aunt is very ugly to me, however the nursing home loves Remington, and we were even allowed to visit the therapy room to help residents to reach farther or encourage them. He was amazing, and loved it. However in visiting with my grandfather he got really nasty and was teasing Remington making noises and then he made this motion that he was hitting Remington. I came unglued. We spent the next couple hours while the family ate sitting in my car. The way I look at it, I was I am entrusted to look after Remington's best interest. I am there to protect him and be his voice. I get angry when they call him "dog"... My mother is one of the worst offenders of doing that. I try to remind her that if it were not for him, I would not be making the hour plus drive to see her....


----------



## swismiself (Feb 26, 2012)

schnauzerpoodle said:


> No, your frustration was not unreasonable at all. BUT since you were at her house, the (inconsiderate, in this case) hostess had the say. If I were a mother of a four-year-old child in this situation, I would have told my husband's aunt, "The children's table is really cute. You are so sweet setting that up but I want my son to focus while eating. That's kind of an ongoing training in our home. Is it okay if he sits with us?"
> 
> I have no right to discipline other people's pets/kids but I can control where my pets/kids go, I guess.


She was insistent that the kids sit at that table and no where else. Thing of it is, the table was placed where she normally keeps the dogs' food and water dishes (which she moved about 4ft away during the meal). So the dogs are used to eating in that space anyway. She was offended when we politely asked her to keep the dogs away, and glared at us when my MIL and I sat nearby to constantly give the dogs the commend to go away. Auntie would call her dogs back, but they'd always return after a moment or so. She'd be distracted, and wouldn't notice until either we said something, or the poor 2yr old would yell "Doggy go away!"

Yes, it is her house, and the dogs live there. But I feel like when you invite people over to your house, you need to recognize the limitations of both your pets and your guests. 

For me, I know that at least two of my cats will try to steal food from the table, so I would never host a dinner party without recognizing that, at some point, I'd have to shut the cats in another room. Yes, my cats live here (and normally have the run of every inch of my house). However, I love my family and my friends, and I want them to be comfortable when they visit. If that means keeping the cats shut away during mealtime, then so be it. I also make sure that I keep the cats locked up when we have lots of little kids over. I can't expect the kids to always remember to shut the door, nor can I expect my Athena to resist the temptation to bolt out the door whenever she gets the chance. I understand both their limitations, plan accordingly, and most of the time everyone has a happy visit.


----------



## schnauzerpoodle (Apr 21, 2010)

swismiself said:


> She was insistent that the kids sit at that table and no where else. Thing of it is, the table was placed where she normally keeps the dogs' food and water dishes (which she moved about 4ft away during the meal). So the dogs are used to eating in that space anyway. She was offended when we politely asked her to keep the dogs away, and glared at us when my MIL and I sat nearby to constantly give the dogs the commend to go away. Auntie would call her dogs back, but they'd always return after a moment or so. She'd be distracted, and wouldn't notice until either we said something, or the poor 2yr old would yell "Doggy go away!"
> 
> Yes, it is her house, and the dogs live there. But I feel like when you invite people over to your house, you need to recognize the limitations of both your pets and your guests.
> 
> For me, I know that at least two of my cats will try to steal food from the table, so I would never host a dinner party without recognizing that, at some point, I'd have to shut the cats in another room. Yes, my cats live here (and normally have the run of every inch of my house). However, I love my family and my friends, and I want them to be comfortable when they visit. If that means keeping the cats shut away during mealtime, then so be it. I also make sure that I keep the cats locked up when we have lots of little kids over. I can't expect the kids to always remember to shut the door, nor can I expect my Athena to resist the temptation to bolt out the door whenever she gets the chance. I understand both their limitations, plan accordingly, and most of the time everyone has a happy visit.


Poor you. If I couldn't protect my kid from being disturbed, I would not go there again.


----------



## Ladyscarletthawk (Dec 6, 2011)

Personally I expect my poos to behave themselves. They are like kids to me, and I don't allow them to be spoiled at least to an extent. Also when guest are here I do my best to keep them away from guest that don't want to be disturbed. My Girls aren't allowed on the furniture or in my kitchen without permission. They are not allowed near people while they eat or to jump on people without being asked. Oh and i hate when people want to pay attention to he tpoo and ignore or rebuff the mpoo! Yeah she's bigger and livelier, but they should be treated equally. If my mini is not good enough nor is my toy. I also expect other peoples pets to behave while in my house. That said I would get upset if somebody yelled at my dog since I do stay on them anyway. My house my rules. I was taught as a child that you can't just make yourself at home even if you are told too lol! I would probably kick them out If they did it more than once lol.


----------



## cindyreef (Sep 28, 2012)

sweetheartsrodeo said:


> I have to say, I feel your pain this season. Normally holidays are done at my mother's home or mine. This year we were split between two nursing homes, visiting my Great Aunt and my grandfather. Neither of them are dog people. My aunt is very ugly to me, however the nursing home loves Remington, and we were even allowed to visit the therapy room to help residents to reach farther or encourage them. He was amazing, and loved it. However in visiting with my grandfather he got really nasty and was teasing Remington making noises and then he made this motion that he was hitting Remington. I came unglued. We spent the next couple hours while the family ate sitting in my car. The way I look at it, I was I am entrusted to look after Remington's best interest. I am there to protect him and be his voice. I get angry when they call him "dog"... My mother is one of the worst offenders of doing that. I try to remind her that if it were not for him, I would not be making the hour plus drive to see her....




Its so obvious how much you love Remington. I can see me sitting in the car too. 
I was very lucky to have parents who love animals as much as I do and supported that while I was growing up. In contrast, my husbands family, well lets just say, doesnt have the empathy for them that we do. Isnt it nice and reassurring that children dont always take on their parents level of compassion towards animals?


----------



## MaryLynn (Sep 8, 2012)

Jdcollins said:


> I had a ton of people over Christmas Eve.... I know a bunch of you don't like Caeser Milan but I use his "no talk, no touch, no eye contact" rule with guests.... I started it Bc Lola was a piddler but realized its a lot less stressful on the dogs if a bunch strangers aren't messing with them (besides the fact that then ppl can't be messing with their top knots lol) and it was almost as if the dogs naturally adopted the same rule for themselves Bc they both ended up sprawled out on my bed away from the company. There were small children and a few idiots in my house :-/ and I felt better that the pups were chillaxing on my bed  .... btw... My bedroom door was wide open so they were choosing to be there.
> 
> And had I seen a child or adult teasing one of them I would def have stepped in and stopped that.... ESP a puppy or a nervous dog... I have 7 and 10 year old children and they are EXTREMELY respectful with our two spoos (or else).... and their friends too! Neighborhood kids walk into my house looking up at the ceiling (no eye contact lol) We have them all trained... They know not to mess with the poodles or their koo koo mother ;-)
> 
> As far as poop in the yard...well .....I have two 40-50lb dogs... They don't poop in the house... That's pretty much fair warning to watch where u step in the yard &#55357;&#56860;



We use the no talk, no touch, no eye-contact rule too because of our terrier. Any form of attention towards him is positive, and he can really get over-worked quickly when new people come in. After 15 minutes people can interact with the dogs just fine, but I need calm greetings. We don't have a 'piddler' but I think it's just really frustrating to be a guest in a home where dogs are going nuts and climbing all over people so I like my home to be free of that behavior. Gryphon is really well behaved regardless of what people do, but the terrier really needs that 15 minutes to realize he's not getting anything from anyone until he is calm. If someone talks to him before then, he just starts going crazy.


----------



## Jdcollins (Feb 3, 2011)

MaryLynn said:


> We use the no talk, no touch, no eye-contact rule too because of our terrier. Any form of attention towards him is positive, and he can really get over-worked quickly when new people come in. After 15 minutes people can interact with the dogs just fine, but I need calm greetings. We don't have a 'piddler' but I think it's just really frustrating to be a guest in a home where dogs are going nuts and climbing all over people so I like my home to be free of that behavior. Gryphon is really well behaved regardless of what people do, but the terrier really needs that 15 minutes to realize he's not getting anything from anyone until he is calm. If someone talks to him before then, he just starts going crazy.


Exactly... After 10-15 min she is fine... At that point I allow her to come close and sniff nicely and I allow guests to pet her under her chin.... Not over the head... It works well for us. Once that greeting is past we are golden. My guest always comment how sweet and well behaved my pups are (Of course that's after they comment on how beautiful they are :-D LOL)


----------



## Panda (Jan 7, 2010)

You guys are lucky to have such friendly Poodles. When we have guests we have to either crate Panda or have him on leash as he will bark at guests and charge at them which is very intimidating.

We are working really hard to socialise him to strangers in his home (and to strangers in general) and we are making real progress. Its a slow journey but hopefully we will get there one day


----------



## Ladyscarletthawk (Dec 6, 2011)

Panda said:


> You guys are lucky to have such friendly Poodles. When we have guests we have to either crate Panda or have him on leash as he will bark at guests and charge at them which is very intimidating.
> 
> We are working really hard to socialise him to strangers in his home (and to strangers in general) and we are making real progress. Its a slow journey but hopefully we will get there one day


Check out the dog listener


Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Panda (Jan 7, 2010)

Jan Fennel?

I actually have her book I think...If I do it will be somewhere at my boyfreinds parents house. We might be moving this weekend and if we are then I can get my boxes of things from there so will have a look to see if I do have that book 

Otherwise I will order it


----------



## Ladyscarletthawk (Dec 6, 2011)

Yeah that's it! She also has a website, I think she does consultations. It's very interesting read with lots of info that I'm sure you could use. 


Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Panda (Jan 7, 2010)

Thank you I will try find the book this weekend otherwise I will buy a copy if I cant find it 

I had a look on the website and it says she isnt taking on clients anymore but one of the people who have completed her courses lives near enough to me to do a consultation however its £195 which is a lot of money. I might just try reading the book and see if it helps and if we are really not making any progress then see if we can afford the consultation fees.


----------



## flyingpoodle (Feb 5, 2012)

Outwest- you are way too dog oriented. You are actually unhappy with the people being inconsiderate and impolite, and here you are dragging the poor dogs into it all! Sure, the subject of disagreement was the dogs this time, but daughters friend would have teased the 18 month old instead, and the shoe-poop fellow would be complaining about dandelions. Heck, thank the dogs for being there so nothing more contentious came up!


----------



## peppersb (Jun 5, 2011)

flyingpoodle said:


> Outwest- you are way too dog oriented. You are actually unhappy with the people being inconsiderate and impolite, and here you are dragging the poor dogs into it all! Sure, the subject of disagreement was the dogs this time, but daughters friend would have teased the 18 month old instead, and the shoe-poop fellow would be complaining about dandelions. Heck, thank the dogs for being there so nothing more contentious came up!


I don't think Outwest is too dog oriented at all. I admire Outwest's commitment to raising nice well trained dogs and to enjoying just about everything there is to enjoy about a poodle (and a whippet). I also applaud her ability to be totally diplomatic in dealing with relatives who are not used to be around well-behaved dogs.


----------



## flyingpoodle (Feb 5, 2012)

peppersb said:


> I don't think Outwest is too dog oriented at all. I admire Outwest's commitment to raising nice well trained dogs and to enjoying just about everything there is to enjoy about a poodle (and a whippet). I also applaud her ability to be totally diplomatic in dealing with relatives who are not used to be around well-behaved dogs.


Apologies-apparently I wasn't humorous in my reply at all! I was trying to say that the problem was not OW, it was that her guests were not well behaved, and that if it wasn't their reaction to her attitude towards her dogs, they would have found something else to be snide about. Religion, politics, cleaning products, whatever. 

Sarcasm does not come across well in my writing.


----------



## mom24doggies (Mar 28, 2011)

flyingpoodle said:


> Apologies-apparently I wasn't humorous in my reply at all! I was trying to say that the problem was not OW, it was that her guests were not well behaved, and that if it wasn't their reaction to her attitude towards her dogs, they would have found something else to be snide about. Religion, politics, cleaning products, whatever.
> 
> Sarcasm does not come across well in my writing.


 Lol I got what you were saying, it made me giggle. It's true though, if a person feels like complaining, they will do so no matter what!


----------



## CharismaticMillie (Jun 16, 2010)

Flyingpoodle, I understood the humor too


----------



## outwest (May 1, 2011)

Things are back to normal here. Now I only have to deal with people coming across the street hollering, "Are those standard poodles! Can I pet them!" ugh. I have Jazz in a class because he has grown leery of people charging up to him and hides behind my legs. Not good. The instructor is really good, though. I am supposed to get a jacket for him that says 'dog in training' or something like that so people will leave him alone. The class is an attempt to see if he will be able to be a show dog or not. You can't be a show dog and not let a judge touch you! LOL. sigh. Neither his sire or dam is at all shy and I swear he wasn't shy until a month or so ago. I am hoping it is a phase, but wonder if being mauled by all manner of people, "Oooohh....he's so soft!" has made him this way. 

Wish us luck! I am giving him two months to come around and then we'll decide about showing.


----------



## Oklahoma (Dec 10, 2012)

I hate it when nondog people come over and make a fuss. Our dogs are very, very well behaved but people who aren't used to dogs are not. We typically crate the dogs around people who aren't dog friendly or around small children (ones who don't know how to behave around dogs and respect their space). Not because we don't trust our dogs, but we don't trust children to handle them without supervision. Especially with parents that don't understand that our dogs are not toys. 

We had a friend of a friend come over with two small kids. I asked their son not to pick up our Schnauzer. He's a rescue and he doesn't like to be handled unless he trusts you. After 4-5 times of insisting he put our dog down, I asked them to leave. Our poor fur baby was terrified! And you don't come into his house and treat him like that. It's no different than if someone came in and roughed up our son. Not gonna happen!


----------



## Lou (Sep 22, 2012)

Wow, Im so glad you posted this thread.. Im getting really upset lately because these 2 guys (friends of ours) come over A LOT and they stay through the night and never leave sometimes LOL and they are teasing Lou (getting her worked up) making her jump on them over and over (I want her to NOT jump on people ever!) they are spoiling her with playing rough and LOTS of petting, and for that reason she wont even look at me when they are here, I get jealous and my heart is broken...LOL she lays all over their lap and she hasnt laid on my lap in a while :-( Im hating it, to the point of not wanting these guys around!! But they work with us, so we have to keep a good friend/work relationship... I dont know what to do. I try to tell them how I want them to deal/treat Lou, but I cant supervise every minute.. Like they play chasing Lou, I HATE THAT! In case she ever gets loose in the street, chasing her will be that fun game those 2 guys play! I never chase her and try to reinforce a good recall/come command... but aaarrrgghhh these guys are getting on my nerves :-( Lou is still a puppy and them letting her jump on them can be a terrible thing, my grandma is comming to visit from far away and I'm afraid that if Lou jumps on grandma, that grandma would hit the floor! and she has back and feet issues/pain.... 
I'm gonna read all the posts now, hopefully there is a way to fix this.


----------



## Indiana (Sep 11, 2011)

Lou maybe you could explain that you spent a lot of money on training for Lou and no offence to them, but they're ruining it. I'm sure they just love her (who wouldn't?!) but you have put so much time and training into Lou, you need them to respect how you want them to treat her. I think telling them about your grandma should get the point across! You could tell them that you need them to not play rough, chase Lou or let her jump on them because if she tries that with your grandma, that could put her in the hospital. On the other hand, why don't they get their own poodles? Then they can play like that with them!


----------



## Lou (Sep 22, 2012)

Indiana said:


> Lou maybe you could explain that you spent a lot of money on training for Lou and no offence to them, but they're ruining it. I'm sure they just love her (who wouldn't?!) but you have put so much time and training into Lou, you need them to respect how you want them to treat her. I think telling them about your grandma should get the point across! You could tell them that you need them to not play rough, chase Lou or let her jump on them because if she tries that with your grandma, that could put her in the hospital. On the other hand, why don't they get their own poodles? Then they can play like that with them!


I just love love love your response! Thank you so much
Yes, I have spent lots of money AND time, on training for Lou and am about to spend more. (Gladly!)
I will definitely do what you said and tell these 2 about it, so they back-off a bit.
They do... they love her!! Because she is so awesome, one of them calls her Lou-bear
I guess I shouldn't be THAT mad...LOL I will also tell them about grandma!
I think that will help a ton, thanks again.
Now, I just hope they dont forget to not chase her in the yard when playing with her. I will try to watch closely at first  
Whew! I feel better - hugs for u!

Ps. one of them really wants a poodle now, but cant really afford to (single guy/apartment/travels etc)
The other just got a blue pitbull and sent her to the same training I sent Lou


----------

