# Puppy Biting & Toddler - Need Help!



## EmilyK (Mar 26, 2011)

Our new spoo is a delightful dog, but we are having a REALLY hard time with his biting, especially of our toddler. Our preschooler has done a pretty good job of learning to deal with it and my husband and I are very consistent in saying "no!" and withdrawing attention. But my 2 year old is completely unable to learn how to deal with him at this point and completely ineffective when she tries. I want her to scream a bit when he bites to startle him (and I read this is effective as it's more how he is trained within the litter) but she refuses to do it. I am just at a loss as to what else to try and he's bitten her arms good enough to leave little welts several times now. He still has two more parvo shots before I can take him to obedience class as well.

Here's what I've tried (I suspect he's just thinking of her as an equal and not as alpha to her):

- Disciplining him myself when he nips at her - I always do this no matter what, but I think it prevents him 
- Picking her up and "walking" her through him (from a suggestion via a dog expert I know)
- Trying to teach her what to do - not working, she's just too little and does everything wrong (like flapping her arms, which just riles him up)
- Grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and putting him on the floor 
- Putting him in the other room behind the baby gate when he gets wild to force the withdrawal of attention from the kids when he's doing it, I like the attention withdrawal aspect, but again, this is not establishing my daughter's position over the dog and sometimes it's not practical

I have another baby due in August and I can't have him biting my toddler all the time so I really need some help finding something that works. I am frustrated beyond belief!


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## PaddleAddict (Feb 9, 2010)

Hello! Wow, it sounds like you have your hands full at the moment. This is precisely why a lot of people don't have puppies and toddlers at the same time. You have to teach the puppy and you have to teach the toddler, and at the same time you need to be vigilant to keep them both safe. This doesn't mean it can't be done--it can--but it will take a lot of work and commitment on your part.

I don't know how old your puppy is, but this is very likely NOT a dominance thing, but just a puppy thing. Puppies play with other puppies by nipping and gnawing--this is perfectly acceptable behavior in the dog world. However, it is not acceptable in the human world, so it's up to the humans to teach the puppy what is expected of them. 

Because you have small children, I think it would be more effective for you to have a trainer come to the house to teach YOU how to train the dog and how to manage your dog and children so everyone is safe. It really is more about teaching you than teaching the dog. (I think you should do this in addition to attending a puppy class in a group setting so your puppy received essential socialization with other dogs and people.)

Honestly, your puppy and your toddler should not be playing/interacting together until your puppy is older and can refrain from nipping. This will take time. My poodle was not "grown up" until after the age of 1, and he's a mini, so they do mature earlier than the spoos. Your spoo might not be calm and mature and completely reliable around your toddler until she is 1 or 2 years old. Until that time, you must manage the behavior and train, train, train.

If it were me in your situation, I would:

1) Tether the puppy to me with a 6-foot leash so I could control her behavior at all times in the house. This way, your puppy isn't biting your toddler in the living room while you are in the kitchen. You need to be right there to interrupt the behavior before it starts and redirect your puppy to do something acceptable.

2) Keep the puppy behind a baby gate when you can be right there with the puppy and kids (within 6 feet). 

3) Provide the puppy with lots of exercise--two 20 or 30 minute walks a day. A tired puppy is a calmer puppy and one that is less likely to get all riled up and nip.

4) Call a good dog trainer who uses positive training methods to come to your home and work with you, the puppy and your family. 

I know this all seems like a lot of work, but it will pay off in the end with a well-trained, well-behaved, calm dog that can safely hang out with your kids. Puppies won't just grow up and grow into good dogs on their own. They will just grow bigger and retain the same issues unless you train them correctly. The earlier and more consistently you manage and train your puppy, the faster she will grow up into a well-behaved dog.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

Excellent advice, PaddleAddict.


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## EmilyK (Mar 26, 2011)

Thank you for the advice. I certainly expected to have to train everyone in the house, I just didn't expect it to be so difficult for the 2 year old. I will try the leash and will look into the trainer. 

Honestly, I don't think it's 100% the dog because he's made huge progress when it comes to my husband, my son (who's nearly 5), and myself. That's what has made me think it's a dominance thing. On the other hand, she really tends to do exactly what she shouldn't, like flapping her arms around and such so this just riles him up and definitely doesn't have to do with dominance so maybe that's just it.

I do walk him and play fetch with him in the house to try to tire him out. Unfortunately, we don't have anywhere that he can RUN right now and I think he desperately needs it. The vet has frightened us out of taking him to any of the dog parks until he's had all his parvo shots and our "yard" is just a fenced in patio. I can't wait until that is all done since we have several off-leash dog parks in the area.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

Toddlers behave so much like silly puppies that it can be very hard to teach a dog the difference - my neighbour's granddaughter can wind Poppy up in a matter of seconds, by screeching, flapping and running! Have you tried teaching sensible behaviour around dogs to your daughter as a game (using the same reward techniques that work for puppies, perhaps)? If she sits quietly, without flapping, and the puppy plays nicely, they both get a treat (chicken for the dog, a candy for the child, perhaps?). Any winding up and the game is over for both of them. We were taught as quite young children that if we teased the dog and got nipped it was our fault - but two is a bit too young for that lesson. Do watch out for her running and him chasing once he is allowed to run - that can get dangerous for both of them if they get over excited.

He does sound a lovely pup - congratulations on at least trying to set him up for success not failure!


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## PaddleAddict (Feb 9, 2010)

EmilyK said:


> Thank you for the advice. I certainly expected to have to train everyone in the house, I just didn't expect it to be so difficult for the 2 year old. I will try the leash and will look into the trainer.
> 
> Honestly, I don't think it's 100% the dog because he's made huge progress when it comes to my husband, my son (who's nearly 5), and myself. That's what has made me think it's a dominance thing. On the other hand, she really tends to do exactly what she shouldn't, like flapping her arms around and such so this just riles him up and definitely doesn't have to do with dominance so maybe that's just it.
> 
> I do walk him and play fetch with him in the house to try to tire him out. Unfortunately, we don't have anywhere that he can RUN right now and I think he desperately needs it. The vet has frightened us out of taking him to any of the dog parks until he's had all his parvo shots and our "yard" is just a fenced in patio. I can't wait until that is all done since we have several off-leash dog parks in the area.


You are right that it's your 2-year-old's behavior that gets the dog riled up, not dominance. 

(As an aside, I HATE the concept of dominance, it is so overused by old school dog trainers and people who don't know much about dogs. I'm not talking about you, by the way, I am talking about the huge numbers of misinformed people who perpetuate this "dominance" idea. Dominance is almost never an issue with puppies and rarely an issue with adult dogs, especially toward humans. It's almost always something else.)

One the big problems with puppies and young kids is that children under a certain age, especially very young kids like yours, simply don't have the impulse control or maturity to remember to be calm and quiet around dogs. (Most people say kids under 5 years old, but I think it does vary depending on the child; on my block, there are three years olds who behave great with the my dog and the other neighborhood dogs, but some 7 and 8 year old boys who I won't let interact with my dog because they can't or won't control themselves). I like fjm's idea about playing a game with your daughter to condition her to be calmer and quieter around the puppy. Over time, it will get better, although it will probably take years. In the meantime, you will just have to always supervise and step in if the situation becomes too stimulating/exciting before someone gets hurt.

Your vet is right that the puppy should stay away from dog parks (and pet stores and anywhere else that dogs congregate) until she is fully protected. Once she is done with her vaccines, do try out the dog park for some free running. I found that the more exercise my puppy received, the calmer and better behaved he was in general. 

Be careful at dog parks, though. Watch your puppy like a hawk and make sure she is comfortable at all times and enjoying the experience. She is in a formative time and a bad experience at the dog park could do terrible damage for her future. Make sure she isn't being bullied by other dogs (other dogs harassing her, scaring her, humping her, etc). MANY dogs should NOT be at the dog park, but unfortunately a lot of irresponsible owners will take their ill-behaved dogs anyway. I have had to leave the dog park several times due to my dog being bullied. The owners invariably said "Oh, he's just playing" but often they just don't know much about dogs or dog behavior and their dog is not playing but being a bully or aggressive. I have personally had to step in before where an adolescent dog was bullying a young puppy at the dog park. The puppy's owner had never owned dogs before and didn't realize her poor puppy was scared and being bullied. The other dog's owner said his dog was just playing, which I think she was, but she was bigger and rougher than the little puppy and it was not an appropriate situation. I felt kind of bad for the puppy because it took me, a total stranger, to step up and put a stop to the behavior. 

Most puppies will be a little timid at first, but if your puppy is cowering, shaking, hiding behind you, trying to get away from a dog that won't leave her alone, is being harassed by another dog or another dog is being too rough with her, I'd just take her home and try another. It's also good to go at "off" times rather than peak times so there are fewer dogs. 

My dog LOVES the dog park, but even now that he's an adult I always watch carefully to be sure things are safe and he's not in any danger or being bullied.


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## EmilyK (Mar 26, 2011)

The idea of a game is a great idea!! I'll need to think about a good way to implement that. I definitely don't want to just separate them. I don't think it's practical and I don't think it teaches either one of them anything for the long run either. That being said, when he gets wild, I think they will just need to be separated until she can learn how to calm him down instead of rile him up!

He is such a great little dog, especially for a puppy, that I just know we can get past this. My dad is in town visiting and has commented several times on how calm he is for a puppy so I know I just need the right combination of things between the toddler and the dog to improve their relationship! And my daughter certainly knows how to be gentle with animals because we've had cats since way before she was born and has had to learn to be gentle and calm with them. This is just a matter of learning a new set of rules that are dog specific (since obviously the cats aren't jumping or nipping).


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## PoodlePowerBC (Feb 25, 2011)

Again, great post by Paddle addict. The only thing I would add (From recent experience) Our spoo puppy was a real biter, with all of us. The only thing that worked with him was for us to leave him, walk away out of his area. Dogs are pack animals and hate to be alone, and he figured out that his biting was causing his isolation. We would only leave him for a minute or more, but it really worked.
Good luck!


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## ArreauStandardPoodle (Sep 1, 2009)

I agree. Paddleddict did a fine job of answering your queries. So, nothing to add really except good luck. It can be frustrating, but once everything falls into place, the reward is fantastic!


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## outwest (May 1, 2011)

I have been taking my puppy to the dog park, but only to the small dog area. Puppies are often bullied at dog parks and it messes with their confidence. I left early the last time because a corgi was bullying her (corgi's are like large dogs in little packages). I would not take a puppy to a dog park that didn't have a small dog area for puppies, toys and geriatric dogs (just my opinion). 

The best way for your puppy to not nibble your daughter is to have her say "Ouch" in a high pitched voice, like a yip. Puppies don't want to hurt their litter mates. Since your D is too young to do that you will have to be ever observant while they are together. Try poking the puppy and making a firm "ch ch' sound. That seems to work well with my puppy when she is pestering my whippet. She stops immediately.


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## EmilyK (Mar 26, 2011)

Things have been getting a little better. I contacted a trainer that can come to the house but her fees are a bit out of my price range at the moment so I'm going to wait for a bit longer. I have a co-worker who does dog rescue and she's been giving me some good advice that has helped. The big thing is how they get each other so riled up so if the puppy is getting too excited and going after my toddler's arms, I just pick him up calmly and tell him he needs to settle down a bit, and put him in his crate. I praise him gently when I put him in and let him out within 10 minutes. That tends to do the trick! 

I'm trying to get my daughter to shriek a bit when he does it (I read that online - and she certainly knows how), but she's resistant to it for whatever reason. I also read last night about how different types of petting can create different reactions in the dog so I'm working with my toddler to do some calming petting of him while he's already relaxed. She's already had to learn to do this with the cat so I think it is a nice way to help change their relationship a bit. It's an ongoing process for sure!


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