# I am a failure :(



## Carley's Mom (Oct 30, 2011)

I understand how you feel. I am so sorry. It sounds like your dog is not getting enough exercise. How much are you crating her, because she is not housebroken? I think you need to treat her just like any other big breed. Don't give up, she is just a baby...


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## lrkellly (Jan 6, 2012)

Hello there,

I second Carly's Mom on the importance of exercise. Exercise is CRUCIAL to having a well-behaved dog, especially a puppy. I recommend taking her for an hour walk in the morning before breakfast, and some rigorous play exercise in the afternoon/evening, and short walks in-between. This was my routine with Sprout because he had SO MUCH puppy energy, it could not be contained if he wasn't exercised. Sometimes smaller dogs need more exercise than some larger breeds...

Now that Sprout is older he needs much much less. At about 9 months one short walk and one 30 minute fetch session is all he needs to be well-behaved (although I often exercise him more than this, this is really all he needs).

I also wanted to mention that, at least in my experience with a small mini, don't expect to have her potty-trained so soon. Their bladders are small. The other thing you might want to do is get her urine sampled for an infection. When he was 4-5 months he was going everywhere a lot and I didn't realize until he whimpered as he peed (on the stairs) that there might be something wrong. I thought that he just wasn't getting the training, but it was a UTI...

Once that cleared up (with meds) he still was not completely house-trained until about 6-7 months, accidents will happen, especially, I think, because their bladders are small. So.. either the vet, or patience. Be sure she is drinking enough water, as well, to prevent crystals which could also cause her to pee indiscriminately.

Sprout barked a lot as well, he needed to be trained, but it wasn't difficult. Try searching the forum for 'bark', there is a lot of really good advice here on training your dog when to bark and when not to bark.

I would also keep up with the training, and maybe splurge and have a trainer come to do some one-on-one sessions at your home.


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## Sully's mom (Jun 6, 2012)

Rebecca, my heart goes out to you, it will get better. I have to believe that too and the days that 4 mo old Sully is jumping and misbehaving. Babies are babies. Maybe mommy needs a special treat and some one to support you with your decisions. Put the crow away and eat cake!!


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## pinkpoodles (Jul 1, 2012)

yea same thing happen georgia...i did trainer to her but she wouldnt list to me..now she is 16 month....so much puppy energy..she loves play toy and rip toy or love ran so fast..now crazy girl...o well my other three poodles are very good


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

Could it be that you are over-thinking things? I firmly believe in force free training - especially for tiny dogs, where any kind of force seems overbearing bullying - but I also believe that consistency is extremely important thing in training. At 5 and a half months a small dog is heading into adolescence - you may have forgotten what it was like if your retriever is now all grown up and sensible, but I'm sure he had his moments too!

From my experience with toy dogs I would second the advice on exercise - as much of it off leash as you can manage. If it must be "formal" walks, then 30 - 40 minutes twice a day, and as much off leash sniffing, exploring, running, chasing, etc as you can manage. Miniature poodles tend to be high energy, and need both physical and mental exercise. Plenty of socialising, puppy classes, training games, brain games - it often seems the smaller the dog, the more they need things to keep them occupied!

Have you been working on swapsies and the Leave cue? If she is showing signs of guarding they are very important. And if you are used to big dogs, it may be worth thinking about how you are rewarding her - if you keep the treat in your hand she may have to jump up to get it. You need good aim to reward a toy dog in position!

And don't beat yourself up - these pups have been bred for generations to press all our buttons and disarm us! I remember Sophy in a training class, when she was going through the adolescent pushing of the boundaries. She was being thoroughly silly, and ended up ignoring me and trying to get a treat out of the instructor instead. This was a woman with many years experience, who had told us again and again not to reinforce bad behaviour by laughing at it, not to encourage other people's pups to misbehave, to ignore bad behaviour ... but when Sophy plonked down in front of her, put her head on one side and grinned, she melted, and had to be restrained from producing a handful of sausage to reward her simply "for being cute"!


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## mom24doggies (Mar 28, 2011)

I feel you...Trev went through that stage, although he was a little older. Didn't listen, did bad things, barked too much, etc. And I'm here to say it gets better with _consistent_ exercise (a tired dog is a good dog...they simply don't have the energy to get up!) and training. Be gentle but firm, reward good behavior lavishly, and throw that ball until your arm is tired! 


As far as inappropriate barking, tortoise gave me some great advice that worked within days for Trevvor. Everytime he barked or growled inappropriately (his issue was strange dogs at work or home...he decided he needed to guard me. ) I crated him for 30-45 minutes. Not as punishment really, but more a "loss of privileges". It worked beautifully. He only had to be crated once yesterday.  Now, if her barking is from fear, obviously that's not going to work. But if she's just barking because she wants to hear her voice or because she's guarding you, it might help.


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## tortoise (Feb 5, 2012)

My puppy put his teeth on my son and found himself very suddeny on the other side of the room.

I'm almost always an avdocate for force free training - especially for puppies. But there are limits.

If you don't get a grip on it your dog is dead. Dogs that bite people die. Can I make that any more unpleasantly clear?

Fortunately, there is a lot you can do - in a whole range of training methods that fit your dog's brain. You have a choice. Some methods are fast, one-session imprinting. (My interaction with my dog after he acted aggressively towards my son was a one-time deal. He learned the rule). But there are slower "gentler" ways to do it to. HOW you get it done is your pick.

Pretend your puppy is an adult german shepherd. What would you do? Exercise. Structure. Training. Control (use a leash).

PRoved exercise and structure - with no force - can make a dramatice difference in a dogs behavior.

If your dog is a resource guarder, take away all resources for a couple of weeks. No toys left out (put them away and bring them out frequently to play), no bed (take it out for rest times, then put it away), no spot on the couch, no food dish (put food in a treat bag on your waist and REWARD good behaviors all day long), no water dish (offer unrestricted access to water for 2 1-hour periods per day).

Reward all the good behaviors and she will repeat them much mor eoften, giving her less time and energy to spend GETTING YOUR ATTENTION with naughty behaviors.

We tend to react to bad behaviors. Reaction is a reinforcment, the dog does it again. Respond in a neutral way. Enforce your training method without emotion and move on. As soon as your dog does something good - even if it seems insignificantly small, then reward and give your full attention!


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## PoodlePowerBC (Feb 25, 2011)

I agree with Carly's mom ... treat her like a big dog. And it's never too late! My friend had a tiny Yorkie given to her a few years ago. She had only had large dogs before this. I told her if she took only ONE piece of advise from me it was to treat her like a large dog! Let her walk on her own 4 feet! Don't treat her like a princess! Watching my parents screw up at least 4 small breed dogs growing up, I speak from experience. When my son brought Rufus home I immediately began using the NILF training methods because he was already a macho little **** at 12 weeks old  It works! I would need to reinforce it every once in a while, but he has been a great little dog for the last 15 years
It's not too late!


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## Leooonie (May 30, 2009)

tortoise said:


> My puppy put his teeth on my son and found himself very suddeny on the other side of the room.
> I'm almost always an avdocate for force free training - especially for puppies. But there are limits.
> 
> Respond in a neutral way. Enforce your training method without emotion and move on. As soon as your dog does something good - even if it seems insignificantly small, then reward and give your full attention!


Isnt that a bit contrary to that ?
I would never advocate any force on a dog in that way. It will not learn anything good from being kicked or thrown after biting. It may be a reactoin.. but Harley has snapped at children before and I never threw him anywhere. I took him away from the situation, tied him up for a few minutes after talking to the child and their parents, and then calmly went to retrieve him.

To the OP:

It sounds like your dog is inherently nervous. it could be a born temperament which is pretty common. nervousness causes dogs to react unpredictably, and is possibly responsible for the possession aggression (nervous you'll take things away.. or reprimand her for having them)

have you ever used force or corrective training on her?
with small dogs, any force can make them nervous. they feel powerless and so to get back some control of their life will guard possessions, and nip those they think they can get some leverage over.

I really suggest bringing a behaviourist in. after bites/nips and ingrained possessive guarding, you could get more serious.. and a behaviourist can suggest environmental factors we cannot see, and will be able to suggest more individual options than we can suggest.
for now, limit the access to toys and food to when she is calm, and only after she has earnt them.

It may also be useful to teach a retrieve. this makes returning possessions mroe fun for her


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## Quossum (Mar 18, 2011)

Rebecca, don't feel bad. We all have our issues and challenges, and the ones you mention are especially inherent to having a toy dog--not flaws of your little one is particular. There might be some day to day things you could change, but it seems like you are doing the right things by taking her to class and such. Hey, think of it this way: imagine what she'd be like if you *hadn't* taken her to training class! 

Still, I understand fully the pain when dream dog turns into nightmare dog. My heart dog was a corgi, so, when she was gone, and convinced I couldn't live without another corgi, I got another one. Oh, I knew she wouldn't be "just like" my other one, and I expected her to present her own unique challenges. Now..........I *never* want to own another corgi. 

Remember, she's young and a brat. Things will get better.

--Q


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## Indiana (Sep 11, 2011)

Let me echo quossum's sentiments, you're doing the right things. You're addressing it, you're taking her to obedience classes, you're not giving up. Puppies go through all sorts of stages and not that you'd ever want to minimize biting, but she's only young. I think that obedience lessons make all dogs better and I'd sure stick with them if I were you; try different classes, different formats, and just keep her in them until she's grown up. Fjm is always right on the money too, with advice about taking her to a behaviourist. Another thing that I might suggest is a toy dog daycare...of course you don't want her to be stepped on or hurt in rough play with the big dogs, but maybe other mature dogs might address her behaviour too and that might help? At least it may help her to burn off some steam. Thinking of you! Don't beat yourself up, dogs come in all personalities and some are a LOT more challenging than others.


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## sarahmurphy (Mar 22, 2012)

You should not feel like a failure if you can honestly say you are giving your best. 

I feel like that about my kids (who are teens). Maybe there is hope, maybe not, but I'll continue pushing on and doing and giving my best. 

Tying your feelings of success as a parent of people or puppies, to them, is a sure recipe for never having the confidence to really make a difference with them.

My 2 cents - try not to spend it all in one place...

sarah


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## annadee (May 15, 2012)

As much as I want a mini or toy poodle, this is why I can't help but feel a bit nervous... but I will have one, and try so hard to treat him/her like I treat my lab! I know too many yappy little dogs.

I'm sorry things aren't going as planned. I think you should keep practicing NILF, give lots of exercise (at least an hour a day, or more if needed.. but if she isn't used to this much, maybe up the exercise slowly, plus she is still a pup so not TOO much exercise as to cause harm as she is still growing. If you go by the 5 minutes forced exercise per month of age twice a day, at 5 months she can now go for 25 minute walks TWICE a day! And this doesn't include playing in the backyard!) and do not carry her!! Treat her exactly like you'd treat a large dog, I agree with that. I think at such a young age, you have to keep being persistant, and keep attending obedience classes, and do other exercises where she has to follow or listen to you. All dogs have that bad puppy stage, but they do get better. As for peeing inside, be consistent with always taking her every 4-6 hours! And if she has an accident, don't get nervous, or worried, or embarassed, just clean it and ignore it. 

Also, when taking her pee, maybe instead of taking her for a quick pee break, take her for a mini 10-15 walk so she gets her metabolism going and pees/poos for sure! Sometimes when you just let them go in the backyard, they will only sniff around a bit and not go.


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## pgr8dnlvr (Aug 7, 2011)

Thanks everyone for the direction and advice, I will absolutely read and re-read this thread.

As for "treat her like a big dog". Since day one this is what I have been doing/trying to do. I swear I've done pretty much everything on par with the way I treat the big dogs aside from one or two methods of training. 

From the beginning I encouraged her as much as possible to use her own feet. People thought I was "mean" making her do the stairs on her own right from the beginning when she was not a heck of a lot more than 1 1/2 lbs. She'd try them and then tumble down, sometimes almost all the stairs. People said carry her, she's too small! I replied, she's a DOG she'll get it. She did. It only took about a week and three or four tumbles and then she was doing the stairs right along side the retriever!

I have also made her walk decently long walks from the beginning. Again friends and family said, doesn't she need to be carried? Nope I said, we'll just slow the pace, but as long as she want to go and is being peppy, she'll do fine. She does and she has. 

I have always exposed her to other dogs of ALL sizes as much as possible. We entered obedience classes at a very young age and classmates even included a nearly 100 lb briard. When she sat and screamed like a banshee when the other dogs looked at her I still didn't pick her up unless the teacher recommended it, and now she's doing SO MUCH better. Getting braver all the time. 

The difference from training her compared to training the big dogs has been punishment. I am not heavy handed per say, but I did use older style methods for training the big dogs. When the retriever was on his first day home he started peeing on the floor. I ROARED at him saying NO, then roughly grabbed him and got him out. I probably scared the hell out of him as I rushed him out. When he went outside right away I praised him like mad and he got treats. That was one of his only 2 accidents as a puppy. 

When one of the danes I had was new and she decided to go food agressive on the retriever, again I gave a loud and forcefull NO, used my hand as a claw (like jaws) pinned her firmly on the back of the neck holding her downward for a second and then released when i knew she got the idea. She never had the problem again.

I researched the heck out of training before getting this poodle, and the majority seemed to agree that corporal punishment or being forcefull or rough was definitely not the way to go. So I've been using clicker training and all the positive methods I can with this dog. For the most part I think it's working well, but on the issue of the posession agression I am really thinking it might be best to air closer to the side of tortoises advice. 

I told my obedience instructor about some of the advice I got from members on here earlier. I worked at it, and she still ended up snapping at my daughters face. So when I let the teacher know, she said that it was likely time to go a little rougher and more forcefull (mostly verbally) with this instance. We started working on the issue more intensively again yesterday and I think she's getting a better. We'll see...

As for the peeing issues. I'm still not sure I buy this "small bladder" thing. Of coarse they have a smaller bladder. But they also have smaller kidneys and ureters right?!?!? They aren't producing the same amount of liquid as a standard poodle or anything, so I don't think it really gives them all that much of a carte blanche. I think that it boils down to genetics... I do bring her out A LOT more frequently than every 4 hours. She still is not as perfect as I would have hoped I could get with the Ian Dunbar methods. 

The excercise issue may be part of it, but I do give her a decent amount. She did do perfectly when we were away and she got LOTS of extra attention so you very well likely have a big part of the answer. 

How much do I kennel her? She is in her pen only about 3-4 hours collectively. I have a home business so I'm able to take her out frequently and she'll often run errands with me. Here is part of the frustration of the internet for training advice. Half of you will say, she needs to be in her kennel more to earn more freedom in the home and not allow the mistakes. The other half will say that she's already in her kennel far to much and needs to be let out and excercised more often. Honestly though, how many young families spend as much time as I spend with our girl? I think MANY spend a heck of a lot less time and energy and they still end up with great dogs. So who knows how she'll turn out? I'm betting it will work out in the end, or maybe I'm praying?!?!? 

Thanks again so much guys, and I will DEFINITELY look at all training tips as thoroughly as I can. This dog is far less of a "nightmare" than I'm sure I make her out to be, I just get so frustrated when she's not what I had HOPED for right off the bat! 

Rebecca


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## sarahmurphy (Mar 22, 2012)

pgr8dnlvr said:


> not what I had HOPED for right off the bat!
> 
> Rebecca


Rebecca,
Take 2 minutes and try to make a list of all the things that were exactly what you had hoped for, right off the bat. 

I can tell you, your comment made me do that, and I sat here for 2 minutes going - "Nope - that was more than I expected..., Nope - That was definitely less..." My list has NOTHING on it. Nothing that's EXACTLY what I had expected, right off the bat... Plenty on a list of "What is NOW, with hard work, time, and determination - what I expected (or more really, what a shift in expectations can do to make me happier with a thing).

Granted, nipping is NEVER acceptable - and you will find a way to get your dog over this (and probably to keep things out of her face). Our dog hated my former husband for quite a while. It was not until I realized that he was coming at the dog with his arms outstretched, weaving a bit and making noises (like a child will - "Oh, puppy! Come here!", while walking and wobbling...) that I got how intimidating that can be. Just like petting a dog on top of the head as an initial contact is a sign of dominance, "lording" over a dog is intimidating. I know it's hard to see a cute, wobbling toddler as "Lording" or intimidating - try laying on the floor and looking up at it - see if it reminds you of some scary drunk headed straight for you... I've actually explained that friends don't intimidate and demonstrated to people, adults and children, that concept by physically stepping into their space and speaking really loudly, right in their face, or to the top of their heads, if I happen to be taller, "HI. I'M SARAH. CAN WE BE FRIENDS???" I can't even tell you how many grown men, over 6 feet tall and over 200 lbs, have taken a step back in discomfort and admitted that that is a bit scary and intimidating. I can't even tell you how many major hunting store customers I did this with at a meet the breeds event. The first lesson I learned in dog training is that the name of the class is a misnomer - it's about training me and other people as much as training the dog. The dog will always look to me for "What to do now??" and I have to know and be able to communicate that to the dog - even if I am flipped out. (and I am flipped out every time there is a "Dog I do not know", but Spike has yet to meet a "Dog he does not know"...)

sarah


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## PonkiPoodles (Feb 25, 2009)

pgr8dnlvr said:


> When I decided to get a toy poodle, friends and family were very doubtful and warned me, "Don't get a toy dog! They're yappy, bitey, and pee everywhere!". But me being defiant and confident (I've raised nice dogs and always had well behaved large and giant breeds) assured everyone that they were wrong, it's just that so many toy dog owners don't know what they're doing or they "spoil" their dogs...
> 
> Well, I'm now prepared to eat my words and am sheepishly having to deal with the "I told you so's"
> 
> ...


I don't agree with your friends... I have two toy dogs and people always tell me they are like big dogs in little dog bodies. 

I think most people are afraid to correct little dogs when they see issues - you need to nip her unwanted behaviors in the butt immediately. Give her a correction if she doesn't act how you think is appropriate. I've used the same method Cesar Millan uses (not all his methods, because I don't agree with all of them, but one in particular that works very well). Poking them with two fingers assertively as soon as they misbehave gets their attention and then give them a strong "NO!". Dogs learn very quickly.

I wouldn't give up on your pup yet... remember she's still just a puppy and she still has a lot to learn. Just be patient and don't let her get away with nonsense... you don't let your 8 year old walk all over you... don't let her do it either.


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