# Socialization with other dogs. What did I do wrong yesterday?



## MiniPoo (Mar 6, 2014)

I am sure others will give you more feedback, but it seems to me you may be exposing him to too much too soon. A toy poodle can feel scared by other dogs and sometimes people. They are very small and your dog is very young.

My dogs always reacted very strongly to intact female dogs. I think they might be giving off some sort of pheromone.

A lot of puppies are more fearful than yours, and if you take things slower and do not overwhelm him with a lot of new dogs and new people, more than he can handle, then he will get braver as he grows older. 

Take him to a class where he can meet other dogs in a more controlled environment is my advice.


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## sarahebeth (Feb 16, 2016)

Okay, thanks for your feedback. I read that I should expose him to as much as possible before 16 weeks, so I was trying. He is SO happy for people attention and is a confident puppy. The dog thing threw me. 

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## MiniPoo (Mar 6, 2014)

It's a matter of balance, isn't it? Expose him to as much as he can handle and build on that. Taking a class will help you learn to help him more.


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## sarahebeth (Feb 16, 2016)

MiniPoo said:


> It's a matter of balance, isn't it? Expose him to as much as he can handle and build on that. Taking a class will help you learn to help him more.


Yes, I'm seeing that, for sure...the delicate balance. I looked into a class yesterday, but I teach full-time and, between my two girls, we have soccer, piano, guitar, OM...and I live 20 minutes out of town...and my mom lives 2 hrs away and is battling cancer....so not much time for a class. I wish I could find one early Saturday morning rather than on week nights. So far, I have only seen week night classes. 

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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

It sounds as if it could be a matter of arousal levels - he could perhaps have coped with being out in a crowd of people, or with the noise levels, or with other dogs around, but all three at once was just too much! I agree with the others - take it a little slower, and be prepared to remove him if he shows signs of stress. Perhaps something else in your very busy schedule will need to take a back seat during these vital puppy months - a few weeks of missing some after school activities won't ruin the children's lives, but a puppy class at the right moment can make all the difference to how a dog turns out!


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

Way too much too soon! Remember he is tiny and loud noise, lots of movement and other dogs who to him seem gigantic is more than he should be asked to handle. Socialization with other dogs should be with other well matched puppies at this point in addition to carefully and constantly supervised interactions with other family dogs.

I think fjm made an important point, missing some activity time for your children is not going to be a big deal, but if you don't work carefully and deliberately to get Teddy off to an excellent start then his behaviors through his lifetime could be. So which is your choice? A few weeks less soccer or a 15+ year great life with your new dog. Personally I waited almost 30 years for things to be really right for getting Lily (and Peeves): needed a house with a yard and a predictable work schedule and time to train. I had the predictable work schedule 20 years ago, but not the house until 8 years ago. I don't mean to seem harsh, but this is really important.


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## zooeysmom (Jan 3, 2014)

I totally feel you on the "why can't they have Saturday morning classes?" I live close to a major city, but all that was offered were night classes for Maizie's puppy and adolescent classes. Her next class is, thankfully, on a Saturday morning. 

Anyway, that socialization window is closing rapidly, so while I know how hard it is, I would heed the advice given to cut out some of the kids' classes for a few weeks to attend puppy socials. Or ask a friend to take the kids to classes? It is super important for your little Teddy bear. 

How is your mom doing? 

Hugs


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## sarahebeth (Feb 16, 2016)

zooeysmom said:


> I totally feel you on the "why can't they have Saturday morning classes?" I live close to a major city, but all that was offered were night classes for Maizie's puppy and adolescent classes. Her next class is, thankfully, on a Saturday morning.
> 
> Anyway, that socialization window is closing rapidly, so while I know how hard it is, I would heed the advice given to cut out some of the kids' classes for a few weeks to attend puppy socials. Or ask a friend to take the kids to classes? It is super important for your little Teddy bear.
> 
> ...


You are sweet to ask about my mom. She has stage 4 pancreatic cancer (pancreas, liver, lungs) and it is not responding to chemo. It's not good. She's only 61. [emoji22] Honestly, I got Teddy to help me through it. I needed a good snuggle dog. Our other two dogs are kind of claimed by my kids. Santa brought each of them a puppy (different years). And I lost my heart dog, Lilly, last September. She was a 16 year old miniature dachshund. 

I understand now that it was probably just too much too soon yesterday. I think his happy-go-lucky nature led me to push him more than I probably should have. I'm going to look harder today for other puppy training/socializing options in town and call my vet tomorrow for their opinion on a good place.

Thanks for the feedback, everyone.

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## sarahebeth (Feb 16, 2016)

And I am glad to hear that you guys are saying this was more of my issue rather than his.

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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

Well most dog issues are on us! I either forgot or never quite knew how terribly sick your mom is. Those are stressful kinds of times for sure. My dad died of stage 4 urothelial cancer in the kidney that had spilled out all over his intestine. At the time I had cats (still lived in an apartment). They were life savers. So I understanding you feeling the need to have Teddy help you through this, but remember that he will be here for many years to come. Think of helping to socialize him and train him to be the best buddy he can be as part of your respite care (which is something we all too often forget to give ourselves). Do you have hospice care set up for your mom? It was a great help to my mom and the rest of our family when my dad was nearing the end.


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## Dechi (Aug 22, 2015)

I think like the others too. Too much, too soon. The barking was out of fear, a typical small dog reaction.

Try to have one on one time with other dogs, in a controlled environment. As for puppy class, being a mom, I don't think it's realistic or fair to ask your kids to skip their activites for the sake of the dog. Kids are often very dedicated to their sports and it's really importsnt to them. Taking it away, even for a few weeks, might end up in them resenting the dog, and the mom... Unless they don't care and agree to, in which case it's a different story.

Puppy classes are very useful, but not everyone has the chance to attend them and you can still have a great dog without them. Just follow your pup's capacity and it should be fine.

I am sorry for your mom. I hope she can be kept painfree despite the lackmof response to treatment.


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## ericwd9 (Jun 13, 2014)

There is some possibility That this might be the beginning of leash aggression?
Eric


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## sarahebeth (Feb 16, 2016)

lily cd re said:


> Well most dog issues are on us! I either forgot or never quite knew how terribly sick your mom is. Those are stressful kinds of times for sure. My dad died of stage 4 urothelial cancer in the kidney that had spilled out all over his intestine. At the time I had cats (still lived in an apartment). They were life savers. So I understanding you feeling the need to have Teddy help you through this, but remember that he will be here for many years to come. Think of helping to socialize him and train him to be the best buddy he can be as part of your respite care (which is something we all too often forget to give ourselves). Do you have hospice care set up for your mom? It was a great help to my mom and the rest of our family when my dad was nearing the end.


I am so sorry to hear about your dad. This journey is a heartbreaking one. I will forever be changed by cancer. Mom isn't on hospice, we aren't there yet, but we'll use it when the time comes. Her liver enzymes are crazy high right now, so that has me the most worried. 



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## sarahebeth (Feb 16, 2016)

Like Dechi said, I have made a commitment to my kids and their teams, so I won't skip their events, but I'll figure out a way to get training for Teddy...maybe I can find a class for Teddy while one of my kids is at a regularly scheduled practice. I need to get creative...or else use the time I'm sitting at music lessons to read training books and do it myself. Either way, I'll do right by Teddy. 

And I'll make sure I take treats to the soccer field to try to give him a positive association with seeing other dogs at a distance. And we'll keep our distance for a while. He sees my parents dog about once a week and plays so nicely with him...maybe he was just over-stimulated yesterday. 

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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

That sounds like a balanced plan during a tough time. Good for you! I would suggest preparing for the hospice care ahead of time. Then when you need it it is just one phone call instead of running around at the worst of times. An old friend of mine was the volunteer coordinator for a local hospice and she insisted we make pre-arrangements even though we resisted we did as she told us and it was a very good thing to have done so. It provided peace at a time when it was hard to find.

My dad passed almost 19 years ago. The saddest thing now for most of us is that he only knew his first grand daughter (she just turned 19) as a tiny infant and never got to meet the younger one (soon to be 16).


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## TeamPoodle (Aug 10, 2015)

I know you've got a lot going on right now and you're also trying to do right by Teddy. I think that's admirable.

There was a lot of great advice in this thread already, so I won't repeat what was said. I do know a lot of Petco stores have free 30-min puppy play times 2x a week, and one of them is on Saturday mornings. The store might be just as overwhelming for Teddy as the sports field was, but it might be worth looking into. Another option is if you have friends with small friendly dogs, have them come over to play with Teddy. 

You've mentioned finding classes is tough, and it sounds like you don't really have a free weeknight. Our trainer encouraged families to bring their kids to the training session and had them interact and be part of the training process. I thought this was neat.

Lastly, while socialization is about getting your dog used to and happy with other dogs, children, and all types of people (all different races, with glasses, or beards, etc.) I like to think it goes a bit beyond that as well. Things like opening up an umbrella, thunderstorms, fireworks, the vacuum cleaner, mobility equipment (canes, crutches, wheelchairs) can all be very scary to a dog, especially a little one. Getting them used to these weird object and sounds in a happy positive way will also really help you down the road.


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## CT Girl (Nov 17, 2010)

You have received wonderful advice. I just wanted to say how sorry to hear about your mom. I hope your pup gives you some solace. My toy also would bark at strange dogs. Regular walks along a rails to trails path with me treating when alarming things like skateboards, bikes and other dogs passed worked wonders. Start from a distance with treats. It works Swizzle, is fine now thank goodness. So embarrassing when your dog acts like a nut case.


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