# Do you ever feel like a walking petting zoo?



## MaryLynn (Sep 8, 2012)

I appreciate that I have a cute dog. 

I don't mind being stopped occasionally to answer a question about him.

But I am getting so tired of the "go see the doggy!" mentality in my neighborhood. A woman today used my dog as bait to stop getting their baby to cry.

Maybe I'm just not a good poodle ambassador, I just don't understand why people feel they're entitled to pet my dog. Don't they understand that this isn't some silly goat on a rope, that we have a special relationship and a bond? I hardly even see my dog as a lesser being, and I definitely don't see him as a spectacle suitable for being groped and mauled by children/strangers.

What do you think, am I just a poodle grinch?


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## Rusty (Jun 13, 2012)

I understand how you feel! Our last miniature poodle, Rusty, was constantly the subject of excited "Puppy!" cries from children, adults, seniors, etc. I got tired of it, and often just wanted to go for a walk with my dog in peace. I was often polite and stopped for people and tried to educate kids about the polite way to approach a dog, but sometimes just said, "Sorry, we're on our way somewhere!" and kept going.

After Rusty passed away, though, I became one of those people who'd stop my bike, get off, and ask people if I could pet their poodles. All those unsuspecting people were just out with their poodle for a nice walk, and here I was, this woman jumping off her bike to ask to pet their dog. It was so good to get to feel poodle fur and maybe scritch their ears, since I missed my poodle so much, and maybe talk a little bit about our dogs. After having experienced the other side of the leash, so to speak (i.e. being the person without a poodle), I've resolved to be more patient with people who want to stop and meet my new poodle puppy. After all, I really appreciated people sharing their poodles with me when I was without one, even if it was just for a moment or two.

So, I get what you're saying, but can definitely appreciate both sides of the issue. I think there's no right way or wrong way of dealing with this kind of situation, but it is kind of nice to think that you and your poodle could really help make someone's day every now and then.


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## Fluffyspoos (Aug 11, 2009)

Or I'm the 'Oh look, someone to socialize my aggressive dog with' person with the poodles.


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## MaryLynn (Sep 8, 2012)

I guess when I look back, I have never approached a stranger out and about and asked to pet their dog. I just realized this now. 

I wonder where I got that from? 

Even when I lost my first heart dog (and seeing dogs that looked at her really ripped at me) I never tried to open up a conversation, either. I guess maybe I am too afraid of ripping a seam somewhere if I bring her up.

Thank you for your perspective, I really appreciate it.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

I often feel that I am Sophy's lady in waiting, there to take the posies as she greets her smitten subjects! I walk too slowly for her so she is usually a bit ahead; she checks people as they approach to see whether they are looking at her and smiling, and as long as there isn't anything very exciting to distract her, graciously flattens her papillon ears, waves her tail, and politely asks them how they are. She then moves on to the next admirer, leaving me to answer the inevitable questions ... 

Like Rusty, I love to greet nice poodles. Poppy doesn't like being loomed over, so I tell people that, and they usually listen and greet her the way she - and most other dogs - prefer. If the dogs want to meet people and the people want to meet them, I am more than happy for them to do so, although I will protect them from grabbing or anything else they find worrying. I have had so many conversations that started with asking the dogs' names, and continued to bittersweet recollections of dogs long gone, or much loved dogs waiting at home - for me it is actually one of the pleasures of dog walking.


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## MaryLynn (Sep 8, 2012)

Fluffyspoos said:


> Or I'm the 'Oh look, someone to socialize my aggressive dog with' person with the poodles.


This is actually more true than my OP!


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## Fluffyspoos (Aug 11, 2009)

Going to dog shows taught me to compliment people's dogs without even asking to pet them (and not touching them.) When I was showing Cairo, someone came up and practically gave him a nuggie. I kinda smiled and politely told them they can pet his hips, but please not to touch his head, want to guess if that worked? Ugh.


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## Doggroomer812 (May 4, 2011)

*a little grinch? lol*

Well you might be a bit of a grinch, but that's ok because it is your dog! I, on the other hand, am at the other end of the spectrum... my poodle is a slut, and I love it! He has to greet everyone!


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## Cailin77 (Jul 21, 2012)

I think it's fun when people want to say hi to Brody! I appreciate if they ask first, but Brody is friendly and loves the attention. Conversely, my collie was not fond of strangers touching her, so I hated it when people wanted to pet her.


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## LEUllman (Feb 1, 2010)

A pretty, well-groomed poodle is an attention magnet. We haven't met a little kid yet who didn't want to pet Beau, especially when he's in a Miami. Must be something about those poms . . . . Anyway, I can only imagine what it's like with a parti standard like Gryphon. You must feel a bit like George Clooney, just trying to mind his own business, and being mobbed anyway. Fortunately for me, Beau loves meeting people. I just wish they wouldn't always pet his fresh groomed top knot. :doh:


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## julietcr1 (Nov 10, 2012)

Only black and white poodles in Gatineau Québec so Sushi is a "movie star" here. To be honest I am very proud of him so I rarely mind stopping. 

These small moments sometimes turns into life lessons like that day when we were walking in Keene Valley, NY with Sushi. We heard someone screaming at us and saw a women of a certain age coming out of a car. I could hear her saying "Is this a Standard? OMG this is a Standard, please wait, please wait", so we waited for her. 

When she reached us she leaned to give Sushi a big hug. Sushi was surprise but he let her hug him and cuddle him and he gave her one of those sweet kiss poodles give. She then looked at me and said “ I lost my standard poodle Peter, he was 14 years old, I miss him so much”. She had tears in her eyes, I didn't know what to say. Then she said “These dogs are so special, Peter was my 4th Standard”. I said “When your mourning will be over, you could adopt another standard”, She then replied “No, I can't, I am 84 years old, I will not live long enough, Peter was my last standard, my last dog”. 

She didn't look that old but even if she would have I would probably have said the same stupid thing because I never realized that when we get really old adopting a dog becomes a problem because we'll probably die before him.

We talked for another 10-15 minutes while she was hugging Sushi, it was a wonderfull moment, I should have asked her where whe lived, we were only visiting but we go there every year, I could visit her with Sushi, the only thing I know is that she lives in Elizabeth Town, NY.


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## MaryLynn (Sep 8, 2012)

Yeah I definitely don't mind at all when people stop and ask. It's really the families in my area that say to their kids "okay go and pet the puppy" as their kids run ahead of their parents and up to me without asking (and if anyone has read one of my first threads Gryphon came to me home absolutely terrified of kids and unwilling to socialize with them). 

I don't have a problem with stopping to chat (if I'm not busy, or not running (I get asked for cigarettes when I go running, too, drives me nuts)!), it's more of getting cranky with people who just make the assumption. The assumption that their kids should put their face up to my dog who is just learning to trust kids, and the assumption that because I am there I am free game to entertain their kids for them.

I don't really have any issues with adults like this, there is a neighbor though who squeals at Gryphon, and rewards him by yelling GOOD BOY, HERE I COME, I'M COMING TO PET YOU. It just makes me want to die on the spot, how do you deal with that? I don't want to ruin her happiness, but I want her to stop reinforcing bad greeting behaviors in Gryphon. This happens everyday. This is probably the biggest thing that's wearing me down with my dogs interactions in my neighborhood. 

I think I am just a Scrooge haha! Wish I could save money like a scrooge


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## sweetheartsrodeo (Sep 19, 2012)

julietcr1 said:


> Only black and white poodles in Gatineau Québec so Sushi is a "movie star" here. To be honest I am very proud of him so I rarely mind stopping.
> 
> These small moments sometimes turns into life lessons like that day when we were walking in Keene Valley, NY with Sushi. We heard someone screaming at us and saw a women of a certain age coming out of a car. I could hear her saying "Is this a Standard? OMG this is a Standard, please wait, please wait", so we waited for her.
> 
> ...


I have tears in my eyes reading your post... Sometimes it is those moments in life that take our breath away....


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## hilshaven (Sep 20, 2012)

sweetheartsrodeo said:


> I have tears in my eyes reading your post... Sometimes it is those moments in life that take our breath away....


Me tooooo! This just tugged at my heart. I did not think of it from that point of view. My parents are in their later 70's and they have a 12 or so yr old Maltese that is definately showing his age. As obnoxious as he is they love him dearly. It made me think of what will happen when he passes. Taking him out on walks gets them out on walks and reasons to get up in the morning....


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## Indiana (Sep 11, 2011)

Oh, julietcr, that is so touching! I waited so long to get my poodles that I feel like I would never want to be without one again. But the lady is really being unselfish and thoughtful! I just wish she could still enjoy a dog, but fostering wouldn't be right because the dogs would come and go without having the time to establish a relationship. But also, both my grandmothers lived to be 100 years old, so one never knows--maybe she COULD have another dog! Or what about if she adopted an older dog or had a contingency plan for a home in the event she died before the dog did.

But MaryLynn, I have to admit my dogs don't really get that much attention when we're out. My neighbours call them "the girls" and I see people pointing them out to others when I'm driving around with them sometimes, but that's about it. But I have to admit that I am always tearing around like I'm on a mission; even when the dogs are out with me (if not in the car) it's usually because we're on a run, so I'm not that approachable probably.


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## MollyMuiMa (Oct 13, 2012)

Haven't had a problem so far... most kids here ask before they pet Molly and she loves it! In fact, last night our apt complex had a tree trimming party and after Molly had been greeted by what I thought was everyone, she kept whining very softly while focusing on someone across the room about 15-20 feet away . After a few minutes I realized she had not been greeted by this person yet, so I called to him and he came over and gave her a pat and she shut right up! She's definately an attention whore! 
MaryLynn, I have a neighbor lady just like yours....she also drives me up a wall but I only see her twice a week so I put up with it cuz it makes her happy and it really doesn't harm Molly since it's so infrequent.


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## sweetheartsrodeo (Sep 19, 2012)

I have to say as a whole if we are out and Remington isn't working it does not bother me as much... However when he is working and people come up and pet him when he has his vest on, it makes me very angry. I have been in a store and had people come right on up with him laying at my feet while I am looking at something and squat down and start petting him... I am not good at confrontation, but my mother snaps at them that he is working and DO NOT PET HIM! Ha ha it is kinda funny because she takes up for him then... it is the only time she does, the rest of the time he is "just a dog" as she sees it.... But she doesn't like poodles... And Remington didn't get a good start with her, as she let herself into my house unannounced the first time she met him, and I was in the shower.... He barked and growled her right out the front door... Now she rings the bell and says "Mindy I am here, can I come in?" Remington runs to the door tail wagging and little half barks like he is saying "Grandma is here!" he is excited to see her, wish she were as happy to see him lol


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## MollyMuiMa (Oct 13, 2012)

Haven't had a problem so far... most kids here ask before they pet Molly and she loves it! In fact, last night our apt complex had a tree trimming party and after Molly had been greeted by what I thought was everyone, she kept whining very softly while focusing on someone across the room about 15-20 feet away . After a few minutes I realized she had not been greeted by this person yet, so I called to him and he came over and gave her a pat and she shut right up! She's definately an attention whore! 
MaryLynn, I have a neighbor lady just like yours....she also drives me up a wall but I only see her twice a week so I put up with it cuz it makes her happy and it really doesn't harm Molly since it's so infrequent.


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## poo lover (Nov 7, 2012)

Krus is a large white poodle and we get stoped all the time but the best is when he she's anyone in a wheel chair he will just sit down beside them and put his head on the arm rest and not move he knows all the older ladies on the way to the park and is a flurt and loves if kids give him hugs some days it takes forever to get to the park but he loves it.well in his pic here he's pink but right now he's white until spring


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## outwest (May 1, 2011)

Yes, I get a little bit annoyed when people rush over and want to squish Bonnie's hair all up while exclaiming how soft she is, like Leumann they mess up her freshly groomed top knot and I have to fluff it up again.  It's like they just can't keep their hands off. I never say no, though, because I know there is nothing as nice feeling as curly poodle hair. Jazz is still young and doesn't particularly like strangers running up to pet him. Also, he's getting big so they look at him carefully first, but Bonnie isn't big and potentially scary (how Jazz could be scary, I do not know LOL). 

Yah, you are a poodle grinch, but I can be a grinch, too. I usually walk where there aren't many people, so it isn't much of an issue.


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## katbrat (May 8, 2011)

Lexi gets alot of attention when we are out and about and like many have said,that fluffy topknot is a petting magnet! I often take her to a pretty busy place to walk just to get her used to the noise and things being busy. There is a statue on the boardwalk that we can finally walk past, that doesn't freak her out. I don't know what that's about. She doesn't hardly pay attention to the big horses we walk by, so it makes no sense. I guess I have been fortunate in that I have never had anyone, kids included, just walk up and try to pet Lexi. When someon wants to pet her, I always will say, "she has to sit before you can pet her." The main reason is she loves people and can get a bit wound up and I would hate for her to jump on someone. She is never around little kids except when we are walking, but has never gotten the least bit wound up and is very patient with them.


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## julietcr1 (Nov 10, 2012)

Indiana said:


> Oh, julietcr, that is so touching! I waited so long to get my poodles that I feel like I would never want to be without one again. But the lady is really being unselfish and thoughtful! I just wish she could still enjoy a dog, but fostering wouldn't be right because the dogs would come and go without having the time to establish a relationship. But also, both my grandmothers lived to be 100 years old, so one never knows--maybe she COULD have another dog! Or what about if she adopted an older dog or had a contingency plan for a home in the event she died before the dog did.


She looked 20 years younger, she was still driving her car and she was running after us on the sidewalks. I told her she would certainly live another 15 years but she said she did not want to take the chance of leaving a dog behind. I hope I will be as unselfish and thoughtful as her but at the same time I just can`t imagine my life without a dog. 

I really like your adopting an older dog and contingency plan ideas, hope she thinks about it when her mourning is over, I will think about it when I get old;o)


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## mvhplank (Dec 5, 2012)

My puppy is overly friendly, so I use EVERY meeting, whether they want to pet him or not, to try to either keep his attention or, when they pet him, keep all his feet on the ground.

When little kids want to pet my rat terriers (it's usually not adults), I tell them there are "rules." Every kid of kindergarten age understands about rules, so when I have their attention, I explain that they can pet the dog with the spot on his back, but not the other one, because she gets afraid. Then I pull Bridget behind me and let Devlin practice patience. Then I show the kids several tricks the dogs can do, like sit up and beg, or sneeze on command.


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## fairhavenmagick (Jan 19, 2011)

MaryLynn said:


> I don't really have any issues with adults like this, there is a neighbor though who squeals at Gryphon, and rewards him by yelling GOOD BOY, HERE I COME, I'M COMING TO PET YOU. It just makes me want to die on the spot, how do you deal with that? I don't want to ruin her happiness, but I want her to stop reinforcing bad greeting behaviors in Gryphon. This happens everyday. This is probably the biggest thing that's wearing me down with my dogs interactions in my neighborhood.


 For this I would just quickly hold my hand up in a 'stop' motion to the neighbor, say "Just one sec" and then focus on your dog and put him in a sit. After a couple seconds you can either release him with a 'go say hi' or whatever and allow him to approach her, or keep him in a stay with his attention on you and then tell your neighbor she can pet him now. 
It's great training for your dog because we can't change the over enthusiastic greetings we sometimes get from strangers and I think you might be surprised at how quickly your neighbor changes her behavior (so you may train her too!).


I have noticed with Halo that people stop and speak to me a lot without petting her. Children and the adults that do want to pet her are much more likely to ask first. This is not the case at all with my two Danes or my mixed breed, people just barrel up all the time with them and do drive by pettings, etc. The poodle tends to keep people back a few steps. Odd.


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## Indiana (Sep 11, 2011)

MaryLynn, I wonder if you spoke to your neighbour when you didn't have Gryphon with you, and just explained that you're starting some intensive training and that he's not allowed to stop to greet people on your walk except for one 2-second "hello" or whatever you can come up with. Oh, and people ask me for cigarettes while I'm running too, what's up with that??


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## MaryLynn (Sep 8, 2012)

Indiana said:


> MaryLynn, I wonder if you spoke to your neighbour when you didn't have Gryphon with you, and just explained that you're starting some intensive training and that he's not allowed to stop to greet people on your walk except for one 2-second "hello" or whatever you can come up with. Oh, and people ask me for cigarettes while I'm running too, what's up with that??


I actually tried this, and let her know that he needed to sit calm and then we would approach her calm for a hello. As soon as he sits and starts paying attention to me again she just starts yelling GOOD BOY GOOD BOY in an almost chipmunk voice, so then we have to start over again, and over again, and she just starts rushing up to get her pets in now. She doesn't understand that the reward is getting to see her, and starts rewarding him as soon as he drops into a sit (even if she is literally like 20 ft away).

She has a retired St. Johns ambulance therapy dog, so she also thinks she knows everything about dogs, and has told me that it's okay for a puppy to be a nut, that hers was too, and it became a St. Johns ambulance dog. :crazy:


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## mvhplank (Dec 5, 2012)

MaryLynn said:


> I actually tried this, and let her know that he needed to sit calm and then we would approach her calm for a hello. As soon as he sits and starts paying attention to me again she just starts yelling GOOD BOY GOOD BOY in an almost chipmunk voice, so then we have to start over again, and over again, and she just starts rushing up to get her pets in now. She doesn't understand that the reward is getting to see her, and starts rewarding him as soon as he drops into a sit (even if she is literally like 20 ft away)....


Okay ... sounds like the classic reinforcement trap, like letting the kids have a cookie before supper, "once," and then they always ask for / expect a cookie before supper forever after. It's very hard to make such a behavior go extinct.

Her reward is petting your dog, and you're allowing it to happen, so she's being reinforced and will just keep it up. So, don't even explain what you're doing, or why--just turn around and go the other way. Repeat as necessary.

You may have to administer positive punishment to your neighbor, if she chases you: "Don't touch my dog! It interferes with his training."


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## Ladyscarletthawk (Dec 6, 2011)

MaryLynn said:


> I actually tried this, and let her know that he needed to sit calm and then we would approach her calm for a hello. As soon as he sits and starts paying attention to me again she just starts yelling GOOD BOY GOOD BOY in an almost chipmunk voice, so then we have to start over again, and over again, and she just starts rushing up to get her pets in now. She doesn't understand that the reward is getting to see her, and starts rewarding him as soon as he drops into a sit (even if she is literally like 20 ft away).
> 
> She has a retired St. Johns ambulance therapy dog, so she also thinks she knows everything about dogs, and has told me that it's okay for a puppy to be a nut, that hers was too, and it became a St. Johns ambulance dog. :crazy:


OMG that would drive me nuts after a while. Can you walk in a different direction than her? You have already asked her to follow your rules at how to approach your dog. She neglects and disrespects your decisions, so why allow her to pet your dog? I have certain rules for my house and my dogs and I expect them followed or you'll just removed from the equation. I personally would do one of two things. I would either have another last chance talk with her. Tell her that you dont mind her petting him, how to approach and interact with your dog, and tell her the consequence of not following your directions.. no petting at all. No and ifs or buts. OR i would just avoid her entirely.. Go on your walk or run, or whatever, and if she comes out KEEP MOVING! Uh, sorry I gotta run, in a big hurry.. when you come home, sorry gotta run got get supper on the table or whatever plausible excuse. Could you do both? Yeah but then she would know for sure you were avoiding her lol!

My girls love the attention from strangers and I cant go to a petstore without someone wanting to pet them. Im fine with them petting my toy poodle, Im not fine with small children picking her up. Thankfully most parents tell there kids to put her down.. Im sure they dont want to pay a $2000 vet bill for breaking something. My mini poodle Im not ok with most people petting since she is in show coat, and petting= hair breakage. And like your neighbor doesnt seem to understand direction like pet her chest only!! Even then she will try to rub her head on them arrghh!! Im normally stuck with telling her no rub and pulling back. So next time if someone wants to pet her then I will have to hold her nose, but that is hard cause Im trying to keep an eye on the lil one too *sigh*. 

We dont go out much anymore cause it is such a hassle in that respect. When we do go out I pretend I dont hear the, "oh look, it's a poodle!!!!". This way I dont seem like a poodle snob, and I dont have to stop every 5 seconds. Unless they are smart and get in front of me to get my attention lol.


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## flyingpoodle (Feb 5, 2012)

MaryLynn said:


> I actually tried this, and let her know that he needed to sit calm and then we would approach her calm for a hello. As soon as he sits and starts paying attention to me again she just starts yelling GOOD BOY GOOD BOY in an almost chipmunk voice, so then we have to start over again, and over again, and she just starts rushing up to get her pets in now. She doesn't understand that the reward is getting to see her, and starts rewarding him as soon as he drops into a sit (even if she is literally like 20 ft away).
> 
> She has a retired St. Johns ambulance therapy dog, so she also thinks she knows everything about dogs, and has told me that it's okay for a puppy to be a nut, that hers was too, and it became a St. Johns ambulance dog. :crazy:


She sounds too old for this, but I role-played being the dog with the neighbor boys when I got my puppy to train the boys to ignore her if she jumped, only to pet when she sat. It did involve me getting down on hands and knees and barking 

Has anyone seen good illustrated books teaching good manners around dogs? That would be great.


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## cindyreef (Sep 28, 2012)

To tell the truth I really like the attention Dexter gets. But I am getting tired of explaining "What kind of dog is he?" "A poodle?" "I've never seen a poodle with his hair like that" and then the explaining: shaved face, puppy hair, parti etc.

But today I got the statement. "Oh, he is a Poodle. My friend just got a Doodle puppy" to which a frustrated me replied......"I dont understand why people get a doodle when you can get a purebred poodle that already all the traits they are trying to infuse into a mixed breed."

I kept on my way wishing I hadnt stooped to that level...


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## sweetheartsrodeo (Sep 19, 2012)

Do you ever hear "I didn't know that poodles got this big?" I hear that a lot with Remington, but always reply that that yes, they do get this big


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## Dog catcher (May 27, 2012)

Owning a poodle can be difficult if you have little time for people who want to pet pretty dogs. I never tire of people who want to pet Fang and compliment her color, size and her quiet gentle demeanor. Perhaps it is because I am retired and have no grandchildren to spoil and brag on. When we walk I take routs that ensure we meet lots of people and dogs. Far more people in our neighborhood know Fang by name than know me. I am just the guy who has the pretty red poodle. Strangers have come up and called fang by name telling me they have heard about her from their friends. 

I sympathize with people who are busy with work and family, or who have a poodle in a show cut. For me however, if I had not wanted the attention I would have gotten a dog that looked mean, nasty and as ugly as a plate full of worms, and I would walk around with a frown on my face.


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## Ladyscarletthawk (Dec 6, 2011)

Dog catcher said:


> Owning a poodle can be difficult if you have little time for people who want to pet pretty dogs. I never tire of people who want to pet Fang and compliment her color, size and her quiet gentle demeanor. Perhaps it is because I am retired and have no grandchildren to spoil and brag on. When we walk I take routs that ensure we meet lots of people and dogs. Far more people in our neighborhood know Fang by name than know me. I am just the guy who has the pretty red poodle. Strangers have come up and called fang by name telling me they have heard about her from their friends.
> 
> I sympathize with people who are busy with work and family, or who have a poodle in a show cut. For me however, if I had not wanted the attention I would have gotten a dog that looked mean, nasty and as ugly as a plate full of worms, and I would walk around with a frown on my face.


Lol too funny, I should walk around with a frown on my face! I do like the attention and so do my dogs.. It has nothing to do with time or the fact that I have show dogs. My big irk is people don't listen and don't ask anymore if they can pet your dog. Young children trying to pick up an aging 5lb toy that they can accidentally hurt by dropping her. I can't get mad when people reach try to touch my show dog, they don't know not to rub on her head. But I find it hard to ask for them not to pet her head, I don't wish to seem mean or snooty.

Also not that I believe either would bite or nip but what if one didn't feel well and someone reached with out asking and they did bite. They would blame me! That is what happened to a friend. Kid came from behind unseen on a dog with sore ears, touched said ears, dog turns and nips(no broken skin). Mom goes sue happy.

If the people are respectful and ask to pet and the girls looked like in the mood to meet someone which they always do, and are willing to follow rules I'm more than happy to "share the wealth". 


Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


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## Chagall's mom (Jan 9, 2010)

I fall into the "like it!" camp when it comes to my poodle being a people magnet. Chagall is super friendly and has the ego of a rock star so he's fine with attention overload. That said, I have no difficulty asking, or telling, people how to interact with him. Or ending any interactions that aren't working for him, or me. I can deal with toddlers and kids with sticky lollipop fingers playing with his hair. I sure don't love it, but he's washable. (Reminds me of riding in a convertible after getting my hair done, vanity aside, it's worth it!) And I really like when elderly people pet him and get all wistful talking about the poodles and other dogs in their past. 

When someone is overly animated or uses a falsetto voice and amps Chagall up, I typically say something like, "I can see he really likes you, but I have to l keep him calm so he's welcome places. Can we walk together quietly for a few steps, or sit somewhere for a minute so he can settle down?" I've been astounded at times when Chagall is "doing his business" and someone STILL wants to interact with him! I think only a poodle can pull that off. I don't begin to know how those with show dogs manage the hair, let alone the public groping.


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## BorderKelpie (Dec 3, 2011)

I've not had too much trouble with the poodles. Maybe I expect it, so I'm better prepared for the mauling. lol 
The most frustrating experiences I've had with that sort of behavior is when I was working the livestock sale barn with my sheltie. She was a great dog, but not really social. For some reason, even when she was moving stock, people seemed to think they had the right or need to pet the 'Little Lassie.' It was hard enough trying to keep people and stressed livestock safe without people deciding they had to pet her. Especially when parents allowed their little ill-mannered brats run amok around cattle and terrified horses. These animals were scared and dangerous enough to cause serious damage to experienced adults, they would have no problem killing a child unintentionally. Throw a flashy, miniature Lassie-look-alike, and all heck would break out. I got really good at blocking humans with a stock stick. It was infuriating! 

Same thing now with my Kelpies. Even when I have them wear their 'Working Dog - Do Not Pet' jackets, people seem to think they are still allowed to dive in on them. Either people can't read, or they just don't care. My dogs would *probably* never bite anyone, but since I've seen just how fast the can and do react with teeth to angry livestock, I can only imagine the damage they could do to a human. I just really can not believe how many times my dogs would be sent out to do something only to have some random stranger try to grab them. Really?! It made me feel badly the other day when there was a small flock of loose goats running down the street and a pack of clueless people chasing them that I didn't feel comfortable getting my trained herding dogs out to pen them. With that many people out there, I didn't think it was worth the risk, so, we just sat back and watched them giggling at their failed attempts to capture them. I know we could have had them penned within minutes, but again, wasn't worth the risk of getting a dog or interfering person injured. 
Oddly enough, people almost always ask if they can pet the small dogs. Almost always.


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## MaryLynn (Sep 8, 2012)

It's just the running up and not asking. 

I have never had a problem with someone asking me, or stopping to talk to me about him. If I am in a hurry, I usually just say so and we don't talk as long.

I have been thinking on it more carefully the last few days, and I think that I am just being overly afraid or mindful of Gryphons 'fear' issues. I am never quite sure when he is going to freak out when a child runs up to him (he is usually fine now with the quiet ones, but ones making weird or stupid sounds or baby cooing/babbling scares him still), and I think I am more afraid that the stars are going to align in a bad way and that he is going to bite. I just really wish parents around here would teach their kids to ask first, and then also lead by example. 

Someone just telling their kids to go pet my dog just drives me up the wall (especially when I can't say for 100% certainty that is is OK with kids yet). 

I think some families are just going to come to know me as the grumpy lady with the poodle!!


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

I taught all the neighbouring children to sit down and let the kittens - and then the puppies - come to them. Then they taught their friends and relations. It worked like a charm - the animals immediately wanted to approach anyone down at their level, no problems with small children chasing and them all getting over excited, and if they did pick a puppy up, far less risk of dropping her. Mums might have been less impressed by the extra washing, but if they weren't here to supervise...!


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## Sara&Audi (Oct 21, 2012)

About a month ago, I was at a clothing store with my friend, and we were waiting for my mom to finish up. This women left her young son and daughter(probably 5 and 3?) for 20 minutes with us. It was cute at first, but after 5 minutes it was really irritating. The little girl kept climbing into the shopping cart with Audi despite telling her 20 times to stop. The mother dropped her kids off like we're baby sitters. It didn't help that the kids didn't even talk and just kept pulling Audi's hair. What are people thinking these days leaving their young kids with strangers and a dog? Didn't she think the dog could've bit them? Ugh, it's a good thing Audi is extremely patient and passive or she would've bit them for sure. I really didn't appreciate being held responsible for two kids with my slightest permission.


Anyways, Audi goes literally everywhere with us and is very friendly and socialized so I am kind of used to the petting and everything. I am not a fan of it though since I hate attention.


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

Lily is a terrible flirt, so it is hard for me to pretend that she shouldn't be approached. She likes attention when she is out and about, so I work at managing the contacts in a way that suits me. I do really prefer that people ask before they put hands on her. Sometimes she can be cranky when she is tired. I usually try to put on a show that she is working to discourage uninvited approaches. I also generally ask people to have her sit before they pet her. This works well for us. 

More bothersome to me are the people who allow their dogs to greet without asking. Lily loves 99.9% of people she meets, but since she is a bossy bitch that is not the case with dogs who don't have good dog manners. These clueless people who swoop in with their dogs only to have them rebuffed by her, of course, then have all kinds of nasty things to say about her. In reality it usually is the other dog that causes the problem, but she looks aggressive because she is trying to put the other dog in its social place.


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## MaryLynn (Sep 8, 2012)

I definitely get my load of unwanted dogs approaching (I don't like being approached by any untrained dogs that are too excited, especially when mine are so young and it's easy for them to "break" when things get too overwhelming), and it's the exact same thing I am dealing with with the families here.

Maybe it's because most of them are non-english speaking, and they don't really understand what it is that I am asking them (the parents?) but I think the kids know enough english that they do.

I think people in this thread are forming the idea that I'm running into normal polite people with 1-2 kids, but I'm dealing with mobs of kids and parents that don't care at all. I think it's my area-I live on the tip of a low income area (I chose it because across the street and to the north of my place is just parks, parks, parks and trails, and more parks  ) right beside a public school. So I think I am just letting the bad experiences overwhelm me (which sadly is many bad experiences a week). Not knocking people from low income, or low income families, but there is a language barrier here with half the encounters, and I'm also dealing with some of the most uneducated ignorant people I have ever come across.

Yesterday for example a woman told me I had no right telling her kids what to do, and that Gryphon was "just a f***ing dog." All I asked was for them to give him a bit of space and let him come over to them with a "please" and a friendly voice (they had run in and the smallest had light up shoes on, I think this is what put Gryphon off). I didn't even tell them they had scared him, I just said that he is in training and has to learn how to meet people correctly. Their mom swooped in to save them from having to be rational, considerate beings.

I find once I get out on the trails is when I get bad experiences with people walking their dogs, but it's also where I have most of my positive experiences (especially since I used this area to try and desensitize Gryphon to his fear of bikes, joggers, and dogs), I find that if I can make it to the trails we get to meet lots of friendly people who like to stop and talk for a bit etc. 

I also always get a "thank you" from runners/bikers because I always ask Gryphon to go into a sit off the side of the trail so they can bike/run by us. One runner told me she couldn't even count the amounts of time a month peoples dogs just lunge after her or jump on her on those trails. So at least my expectations for Gryphon are working out for some people!


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## MaryLynn (Sep 8, 2012)

I should also add that another family here that really bothers me is actually encouraging and reinforcing a phobia of dogs in their children. I have seen this a few times, from different families (pulling their children in close, gasping, looking horrified-yes, at my 16 lb terrier and baby spoo lol, clearly both very vicious dogs with their bouncy 'look at me-pet me' body language).

She doesn't speak english, and it's really a shame because her kids CAN and they're probably the nicest kids on the block. I only had to tell them about training a dog to say hello once, and they're always very nice and polite but if their mom catches them petting our dogs she runs in screaming and fussing. I guess she must have had a really bad experience, or something at one point in time, but I just find it really frustrating when people are closed off to the joy of dogs.

Anyways, public forums are generally not meant to be places to receive therapy (so I am sorry for my response!), and I find that I am just starting to unload what is in reality my frustration with the area I live in I think. I think I would do better in a small town, or back in the country (back from whence you came grinch poodle lady!). 
I am enjoying reading what is by majority positive experiences , and it makes me wonder if their is a correlation between where you live?


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## MollyMuiMa (Oct 13, 2012)

Marylynn.... I used to work with a young man from Indonesia who was Muslim and he told me his religion did not allow him to touch dogs because they are considered 'unclean' I don't know if that's true but it kept him from having to interact with any dogs that came into our bird store!


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## MaryLynn (Sep 8, 2012)

Actually that is true, some Muslim people do believe that. 
This family is Korean though, I am not so sure if they have similar beliefs or not. But you are absolutely right, I think there is also the camp of thought that they should not be kept as pets as the faith itself strongly discourages poor treatment, or abuse of animals as well as dogs being considered unclean.


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## MollyMuiMa (Oct 13, 2012)

MaryLynn... Koreans EAT dog meat! One dish is called 'Bosintang' (dogstew) They raise a special type of dog on farms for consumption. It's the 4th most common meat eaten but many think like us and abstain! 'Pet' dogs are a whole different catagory to them.


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## lily cd re (Jul 23, 2012)

But aren't there a couple of Korean folks on PF? Also I have a student who is Muslim who wants a German Shepherd Dog in the worst way. I think it is hard to generalize. I think since you are near a school that is part of why you get mobbed. Can you work around the time that school lets out for walks? Not that I don't think you should be able to walk your dogs whenever you want, but until you get the puppy manners where you want them, maybe that would help.


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## MaryLynn (Sep 8, 2012)

Oh by no means do I think all Muslims dislike dog ownership, I was just confirming that some do. My hubby is half chinese, half puerto rican, and he nor his chinese side of the family eat dogs or cats and neither do any of my korean friends (although the world view for this is different in some parts of the world, my understanding there is a specific type of dog bred for meat?). I genuinely think that the lady is just terrified of dogs to the point where she is irrationally inflicting her fear onto her children, too. 

I try and stay inside before school, and after-school, and during the big lunch break. I can actually hear the bell from my place, so that helps too. It does make a big difference, Gryphon actually is still a little too overwhelmed with that many kids outside, so it's been something we try and practice. 

I had actually wanted to ask the lady with the polite kids if she would let me "hire" them for a bit of an allowance back when I was desperate to desensitize him to kids. She probably would have thought I was off my rocker!


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## MollyMuiMa (Oct 13, 2012)

My post was regarding people in Korea! NOT in the western world..I'm sure we eat some things they would freak out at too LOL!!! Food preferences in foreign countries have always fascinated me as I love to cook ! This post was not to disparage anyone.just an interesting factoid!


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## egodfrey (Sep 23, 2012)

I seem to have the opposite problem. I would love for more people to ask to meet Jasper so he can learn how to properly greet, but nobody every asks. 

I think I'm friendly and Jasper is definitely well behaved...not sure what the problem is!


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## Chagall's mom (Jan 9, 2010)

egodfrey said:


> I seem to have the opposite problem. I would love for more people to ask to meet Jasper so he can learn how to properly greet, but nobody every asks.
> 
> I think I'm friendly and Jasper is definitely well behaved...not sure what the problem is!


Well now that puzzles me!:confused3: How on earth can people resist a poodle?! We live where it's remote, so when Chagall was a pup I made it a practice to take him places where he could see, and eventually interact, with people of all ages and kinds. We spent time walking past the local elementary school (when the children were being dropped off or picked up), walking back and forth in front of local strip malls, and the library and post office (for nice, calm greeting practice). It was easy for him to entice people to approach us. I would have him practice his "sit" and "give paw," etc., and people would stop to watch and ooh and aah. I enlisted the help of many willing, spontaneous "trainers" to help him work on focusing with distractions. I hope you find a way to get others to engage with Jasper, I'm sure he's a doll. If push comes to shove, there are some lovely homes for sale in our area, you can always move here.:wink: I promise you he'll draw a crowd.:nod: I often have people approach us out of nowhere asking, "Is your dog friendly?" or "Can I pet your dog?" I'd be _happy_ to share the experience with you and Jasper!


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## PaddleAddict (Feb 9, 2010)

MaryLynn, it sounds like your situation is unique. I love when people approach and ask about my poodle and he loves the attention, but I would also have problems with crowds of kids running up to touch my dog, particularly since he doesn't really feel comfortable around certain age groups of kids. Not to mention parents screaming at you? Wow.

I don't think you have much of a solution unless you move to a different area, but you could just try to have a "could care less" attitude about how you come off to both the parents and the kids (seems they aren't too friendly anyway) and just focus on keeping your dog safe and comfortable. 

If little kids come running up to my poodle, I will step between them and my dog, put my hands up, and say "Please stop!" Most kids will react to a firm command from an adult. When they stop I say, "My dog is friendly, but he gets scared when you run up to him. If you stand still and put your hand out he might come over to say hi." It usually works and if it doesn't I just walk away from them. I have no problem telling kids when they are doing something dangerous, I will say "Never try to hug or kiss a strange dog on the face, he might bite you." I don't know if they listen to me or or if any of it sinks in, but I will try at least. I will say the same thing to the parents... if they take offense, so be it! 

My main priority is keeping my dog safe and not letting him feel needlessly uncomfortable. He does not need to suffer through an extended petting session with kids if I see he is not enjoying it. If I come off as rude because I'm keeping my dog's needs in mind, oh well! I care more about the dog than those people.


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## MaryLynn (Sep 8, 2012)

PaddleAddict said:


> MaryLynn, it sounds like your situation is unique. I love when people approach and ask about my poodle and he loves the attention, but I would also have problems with crowds of kids running up to touch my dog, particularly since he doesn't really feel comfortable around certain age groups of kids. Not to mention parents screaming at you? Wow.
> 
> I don't think you have much of a solution unless you move to a different area, but you could just try to have a "could care less" attitude about how you come off to both the parents and the kids (seems they aren't too friendly anyway) and just focus on keeping your dog safe and comfortable.
> 
> ...


I agree, we have started looking very seriously at moving. 

I had a woman tell me I couldn't tell her kids what to do once, when I tried to teach them how Gryphon needed to be approached so he could learn and that 'he's just a ****ing dog.' Well, he's not just a dog to me.

I never run into the same attitudes when I am in small towns with him, etc. Who would have known that 5 years later I still wouldn't be adjusted to living in a city.


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## sweetheartsrodeo (Sep 19, 2012)

MaryLynn said:


> 'he's just a ****ing dog.' Well, he's not just a dog to me.



I hate it when some one says "he is just a dog". My mother said that a little over a month ago... Being I was already totally emotional I tried to explain to her he is more than just a dog to me... He is my rock, he is the reason I can drive an hour to visit her, I would neved do it without him... He is so much more than a dog... I know what you mean, and understand where you are coming from.


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## MaryLynn (Sep 8, 2012)

My last job I put my place of work on my vet's card for my cairn, and said that they could call me at work if necessary. 

So happens my cairn was at the vet for an overnight, and they called me at my place of work.

My operations manager came down on me, telling me that it was just a dog, etc, and that she had dogs and it's nothing like taking a call because a child is sick. 

It was probably one of the only times I ever defied management, I just said right to her face that she wanted to cut 10 minutes off my shift for the call that she could, and that if she wanted to give me a write up that she could, but to never try and tell me what comes first in my heart. What does it matter to me if she doesn't love her dogs as much as I love mine? 

It just seemed beyond unethical to lecture someone about who they can and can not care about, and how much love is reasonable to give.

Suffice to say she didn't give me a write up, and she stopped lecturing me, but I am most certain she thought I was absolutely nuts for the rest of the time I worked there.


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## LEUllman (Feb 1, 2010)

People who say things like "He's just a dog" either don't have one, or shouldn't.


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## Dog catcher (May 27, 2012)

My response; She is not just a dog, she is a poodle and you sir are an ass.


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## sweetheartsrodeo (Sep 19, 2012)

Dog catcher said:


> My response; She is not just a dog, she is a poodle and you sir are an ass.


I LOVE THAT! Oh my I am going to have to remember this quote and use it!


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