# This is NOT how I thought it would be! What am I doing wrong?!



## Sawyersmomma (May 28, 2012)

Don't get me wrong, I love Sawyer, he's a sweetheart, but this is Not how I thought it would be!!
I got him at 5 months, and the first day when I went to show a friend, her dog attacked him. Ever since then (He's 14 months now) he's been paranoid of dogs. I've tried all sorts of things, but whenever he sees a dog, he goes into attack mode. Barking and lunging, growling and looking like he wants to murder it. It doesn't matter the size, or how the dog is acting (whether friendly or whatever) he just looses his freaking mind!:argh: I tried obedience classes but that only made it worse- I think because he was confined in a small room with like 11 dogs and no escape. I've since joined a dog club which is only about 4 people, they practice agility and help me out with him. He's gotten WAY better, and always wants to play with those dogs, so it seems like there's progress. But the second he leaves, or sees a dog he doesn't know, he flips!
I feel like I'm running out of patience! I thought he was just an idiot for it but another neighbour -who breeds Chesapeake's, says it's because he's learned if he doesn't beat them to an attack, he'll get attacked first so he always puts up his guard. I don't understand it! How come we can't get over it??
I got a poodle so I could practice grooming, and have an awesome dog to play with and walk around town and everything, but its so embarrassing! I can only walk him down roads with pretty much no vehicles and no one walking. So I generally just go hiking where people aren't around, but its really bugging me I can't do anything with him.
Nothings going how I planned! (I know, he's a dog, you can't really plan it but who thinks their dog is going to turn out freaking insane!) I just feel like crying, he lunges at cars too, he doesn't even enjoy walks because he's constantly on guard to find the next car, his tail is down (If it wasn't docked I'm sure it would be between his legs) So it's like he doesn't enjoy anything anyways! I haven't got his fence set up so I can't let him loose, or he chases any car, and he'll chase people too!!! Once he gets to them he wags his tail and stuff, but he's barking and scaring people all the time! AGH! I'm just so frustrated! I know hes SLOWLY making progress since he has made a couple dog friends, but it's been 9 months of constant work with barely anything to show for it! One of my neighbours said he seems to be getting more aggressive everytime he sees him! I feel like it was a mistake to get him, I knew I didn't like puppies (I like them, but never wanted one) so I don't know WHY I chose to get him. Probably because at 5 months I figured it would be okay. I just don't know how much more I can handle it  When we're playing and everything he's amazing, hes super fun and friendly... but he's so BAD around every situation where it's not just me and him. I don't know what to do  I'm just so fed up!


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## Carley's Mom (Oct 30, 2011)

Your dog is fearful! He lacks confidence too. The more you can do with him the better, but small steps . Take him out and take lots of "high value" treats, reward him when things are going well. He needs to have a safe place off leash to run and exercise, does he have this? I understand how disappointed you are, but this is not his fault. He was taken around a dog that attacked him when he was a baby. He is still a baby. He can come out of this, but he needs a calm , firm, loving hand. Good Luck, I hope it gets better.


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## PaddleAddict (Feb 9, 2010)

Are you working on his reactivity with an experienced trainer? I mean one-on-one specifically for him and his issue, not obedience classes in a group setting.


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## roulette (Feb 18, 2011)

Back in March, our home sustained major storm damage, had to get a new roof, siding, windows, etc. Needless to say, there were tons of strange workmen at the house..all over it, actually. My 4 adult spoos went nuts everytime some walked past a window or dropped tools on the roof, or had a conversation in Spanish out on the porch. I don't want to teach them to NOT bark at strangers (as they are rural watchdogs, too), so I decided to teach them to turn it on and off. I say "hush", and when they settle, they all got treats. At first the interval was long..but being poodles, they figured it out quick. Go ahead, bark and go nutso, but Hush when I say hush. Good dogs, treats! I believe your boy is a little over a year? He can learn. You may have to take a couple of steps back, and train with limited distractions, take baby steps. Always end a lesson on a successful note. He may have anxiety due to his prior bad experience, but it sounds as tho there are other behaviors that need control as well (cars!). Good luck, pay attention to his body language, and try to forestall the barking fit beFORE it happens, too. Just keep telling yourself, he CAN learn..and you will, too : )


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

Have you looked into BAT (Behavior Adjustment Training)? It sounds as if Sawyer is fearful of other dogs etc - BAT may be a very good way of readjusting how both of you behave and making both your lives a great deal easier. See Behavior Adjustment Training (BAT) | Official site for BAT: dog-friendly training for reactivity (aggression, fear, frustration) by Grisha Stewart, MA


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## Sawyersmomma (May 28, 2012)

Thanks guys, I don't have a safe place at home for him to run yet, I'm getting it set up this summer, hopefully within the next couple weeks, but that's why I take him hiking up the mountain. If there are no cars in the parking lot I know I can let him run freely until we head back down (I don't know if someone has started behind us) Also at night around 11 I let him loose because I know no one will be out and no dogs around. but I am working on a proper fenced area. In the dog club there's a lady whose mentoring (I guess you'd call it) me and Sawyer what to do. I just get frustrated sometimes at how it seems like nothings helping. I admit I haven't been looking into just 1 on 1 trainers. I'm worried about the expense. I know it should be worth it but I don't have tons of money to just... spread around? I mean if I have to I'll do it, but I just keep putting it off because I'm worried about the cost... and if it'll actually help. I don't even know if anyone in my area does that training. I haven't heard of anyone anyway...


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## Carley's Mom (Oct 30, 2011)

I bet you can find lots of information on the web . Lots of books on the subject as well. Keep trying and something will work...."If there's a will, there's a way".


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## sarahmurphy (Mar 22, 2012)

our breeder has a lot of acreage, and has it pretty much enclosed with what is referred to as "Goat fence". We bought a 100 foot roll of 2x4 welded wire fence, 4 ft high, and 11 posts at Tractor supply for less than $200, including the pounder thing you need to set the steel posts. We unrolled the fence and ran it from one corner to the other at the back of the house (we have a walk-out basement), and there is no gate, but there is an area that's safe and enclosed for Spike to go nuts, potty, etc... 2 of us put up the fence with the pounder and a pair of pliers in just under 2 hours. 

It may not be a permanent solution for you (it's likely going to be revised here, but it went up in January, so there was no time to figure out gates or much of anything...) but it might work for a while - and it's a pretty cheap solution to "No outdoor safe space". 

The downside of having created this giant crate/den/pen area in the yard is that poodles are thieves at heart (I am convinced), and anything he manages to snag and get into "His Space" is pretty much a goner... we leave the door open a lot, and have a sheer curtain on a spring tension rod as a makeshift doggie door - the real door is steel, and I'm not cutting into it - not in CT...

good luck, and it will get better! I'm not sure you are doing anything "Wrong" - and you are doing a lot "RIGHT" by not giving up on the situation! 

sarah


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## Rayah-QualitySPs (Aug 31, 2010)

Have you talked to his breeder yet? The fact that a dog attacked him is not his fault. Getting over it needs you to start thinking like he thinks. Training a puppy is hard work. He is still a puppy at 19 months of age. It sounds like you may have started off on the wrong foot.

Poodles are very smart and to train him you need to out think him. It sounds like most of your training is *reactive* and that may not be the best way to train a poodle like Sawyer. 

Do *not* be embarrassed by him - he feels this and it makes your training harder worse! 

If you make a plan to train for one small thing like maybe sit pretty or some trick it will help you start to relax around him. If you would like some help with training for sit pretty just let me know and I will post more info.

Poodles especially are very sensitive to peoples feelings and it sounds like Sawyer is feeding off of *your anxiety*. 

Put up a fence so Sawyer can have some space to run. I am sure you can afford to buy some snow fence or the orange fence used on construction sites. Make it long and narrow if you can - maybe 10 feet by 30. Just get something safe up so he can run without you having to worry. It does not need to look nice. This way you do not need to take him for walks until he listens to you better. Go hiking by yourself!

Then you can start making training a fun thing to do and Sawyer will be the poodle you would like.


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

You may find the DINOS page on Facebook reassuring, to know that you are far from alone (DINOS: Dogs in Need of Space | Facebook). 

I have had quite a lot of success with my neighbour's reactive terrier using some of the BAT techniques. I try only to let her off leash in places where I can see other dogs coming a good distance off, and as soon as I spot one I tell her to "Come and be safe" - that focuses me on reducing her anxiety rather than getting in a tizz about what she may do (her recall is very poor, so I used a lot of treats to make it worth her while coming). I then keep myself between her and the other dog, and try and keep plenty of space between them, enough that she does not begin to stiffen and react. If that is not possible, I ask her to sit and look at me, with plenty of rewards to help - and I make sure that I am still between her and the other dog. Jilly-dog is 6 or 7, so is much older and more fixed in her ways than Sawyer, and her owner waits until she has started growling and lunging and then hauls her back and scolds her, thus adding to her anxiety, but even so she is now noticeably more relaxed around other dogs when she is out with me. If she were my dog I would want to move beyond simply managing things, but that is difficult under the circumstances.

Good luck - it helps a lot to change the way you think to recognise that the behaviour is not him being naughty or disobedient, but that he is simply using a method that has worked in the past to make the scary thing go away. I would really recommend BAT and similar techniques - they take some time and patience, but they do work for most dogs.


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## momtymztu (Mar 27, 2012)

Sawyersmomma said:


> Nothings going how I planned! (I know, he's a dog, you can't really plan it but who thinks their dog is going to turn out freaking insane!) I just feel like crying, ]
> 
> So it's like he doesn't enjoy anything anyways! I haven't got his fence set up so I can't let him loose, or he chases any car, and he'll chase people too!!! Once he gets to them he wags his tail and stuff, but he's barking and scaring people all the time! AGH! I'm just so frustrated! I know hes SLOWLY making progress since he has made a couple dog friends, but it's been 9 months of constant work with barely anything to show for it!
> 
> When we're playing and everything he's amazing, hes super fun and friendly... but he's so BAD around every situation where it's not just me and him. I don't know what to do  I'm just so fed up!


 
Sawyersmomma,

I pulled out a few bits and pieces of your post because those feelings really struck a cord with me and I thought I would put my two cents in (that's about all it is worth, but at least you know others have been there). 

I so understand being frustrated by things not working out as planned...I think whenever we bring a new relationship into our lives (dog or person) we have specific expectations of how it will be. When those expectations aren't met we get frustrated. As I have mentioned several times I recently lost an almost 12 yrd old Aussie, Dezi to Cancer...Let me tell you as much as I loved him he didn't fit with ANY of my expectations for him when I got him. He was my very first "adult" purchase with my very own money right out of college. I graduated in May 2000 and he was born the same month...I bought him from a reputable breeder and brought him home at about 12 weeks old. He potty trained like a dream and was smart as a whip. At the time I was working on a Thoroughbred breeding farm/boarding facility/equine vet clinic...I could take my new puppy to work, let the vet's Aussie mix show him the ropes and have him as my constant companion....I really thought he was going to be just like perfect Callie (the vet's dog)...WRONG!!!!!!! I rapidly discovered that my new constant companion got violently car sick. Didn't matter what we tried he would puke from the time the car started until the time it stopped. So there went my constant companion dog, no going to work, obedience classes were miserable for him...I had to completely change my whole "plan" for our life together. He did finally outgrow the carsickness, but he was 5 or 6 by that point. He was still a great dog and I loved him dearly BUT I had to love him for who he was, he couldn't help that he got carsick, he would have loved going everywhere with Mommy. 



My second Aussie, who is 10yrs now, I bought in 2002. I wanted Dezi to have a companion b/c he couldn't go with me AND I still had the desire for a dog that COULD go places with me, plus I really wanted to get into agility. Obviously super carsicky wan't a good competition candidate. So I got Gracie Mae who was the smartest sweetest most lovable little thing ever. She loved to go, loved obedience classes, loved agility, got along great with everything and everyone UNTIL...she had a severe reaction to a set of vaccines...probably lepto. That lead to an encephalitis type infection which led to a not so bright vet giving her the wrong dosage of medication which led to total and complete personality change! When she got over everything several weeks later she was terrified of everything/everyone but those of us she lived with, she would snap at people, cowared at obedience classes, started submissive urination...and again my plans went out the window. We tried training/desensitization, Clomacalm (kind of like doggy Prozac), agility work, taking her out, leaving her home...nothing helped. I switched vets and he suggested that the infection/meds had basically cased a type of brain damage/chemical imbalance and basically we had to remove her from all stimulating situations and just let her brain heal. At home in familiar circumstances she was still the sweetest thing ever but if anyone came over or we had to take her out she turned into a pretty scary creature. She was most definately not enjoying life and it was very frustrating. On the up side, she did finally "heal" and for years now she has been fine to take places and safe around strangers (although she still doesn't let most pet her). Again, I love her dearly and i learned a tremendous amount from the whole ordeal. For one, I will never allow a vet to give my dog lepto again!! But I remember how utterly frustrating it was to see minimal results from maximum effort. 

Fortunately for you and him, Sawyer doesn't have physical issues impeding his progress. Sounds like he just had a rough start with the neighbors dog and that's not really his fault. Also, you said you got him at 5 months old...did he come from a breeder or was he a rescue? Do you have any idea what his experience and socialization was prior to coming to live with you. If he had other bad experiences at an early age, it may just take more time and determination on your part to get him where you want to be. He may never completely trust certain types or colors of dogs (my current Silky dislikes Schnauzers? My horse hates German Shepherds?) but if you are patient and calm with him he will learn to trust YOU to "protect" him from them. I agree with the suggestion above to find someone to work with you and him privately...that way they can assess the situation and hopefully help you know better how to handle his triggers. I can guarantee you he feels your frustration and it feeds his insecurity. Gracie definately fed off mine. I applaud you for sticking with it and not giving up on him...many people may have dropped him in a shelter the second he didn't meet their ideal behavior. He is still a baby and he will come around because it sounds like you love him enough to keep at it. Allow yourself to vent your frustration on here and then try to relax and tell him what a good boy he is...he will try to live up to it. 
Good Luck and don't give up. 

ps Sorry this got so long...


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## Sawyersmomma (May 28, 2012)

Thanks, I know he's not a bad dog, and it's totally just fear/anxiety... And I'm not mad at him for it... Just frustrated with the whole situation.
I got him from a breeder-he's not registered or anything and I didn't really know about... proper breeders(?) Anyway, he was the last puppy there. I still talk with the breeder sometimes. None of the other dogs have had issues. I don't think it was like.... any of the breeders on here. I mean the poodles were kept outside. They were all really nice but super hyper and he was completely untrained other than potty trained so I figure they didn't do much with him. I think I was just so "desperate" to get a dog I didn't do too much research on breeders.


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## sarahmurphy (Mar 22, 2012)

it's too easy to bash ourselves and to second guess everything. 

Just because the breeder says none of the other dogs have issues does not make it true... 

If you had adopted a child, and the child turned out to have severe psychological and mild retardation issues, you'd be doing the same thing to yourself. The real gift to yourself, and to your pup, is to just forgive yourself and him, and figure out how to move forward. Celebrate each small victory, as you might with a retarded, mentally ill child - and drop the expectations to a level where he knows he can "win" in the learning, while providing absolute boundaries for safety and sanity - just like you would with a small child - retarded or exceptional... Just because your dog is a poodle does not mean he is a genius - just like giving birth to a child after doing everything right, and picking the most exceptional mating partner does not guarantee that you will not end up with a severely handicapped, mentally ill, or just plain ugly or dumb child... And having a child who is anything from unattractive to severely disabled - is not the end of the world - You might want to google parenting techniques and tips for parents of disturbed and disabled children and apply some of those to your situation, if they apply. Starting with forgiving and accepting. Laying blame at anyone's feet is not going to fix anything today, tomorrow, or ever, for your dog, or your situation with him. 

and yes, I am serious. (and I am a parent of at least one "Special" child - and not in the "Hey, My Kid is Going for Gold in the London Olympics" kind of special...)

sarah


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## Carley's Mom (Oct 30, 2011)

This just breaks my heart, poor little guy has had it rough. He is so lucky that you found him! You have the heart to make this work and it will. Sending you a hug . Don't beat yourself up anymore! My first dog purchase came from a Pet Store in a mall... I didn't know any better and felt so sorry for the puppy in the window. "Note to self, don't carry your beach money around when you are only 18 years old." I had no ideal I was supporting a Puppy Mill somewhere out there.


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## dcyk (Nov 30, 2011)

Mack always bark at my neighbours frantically when they arrive home.

But i'm still able to call him away and praise him and treat him for coming to me.

When he goes nuts and lunges at anything,

Try giving a stern No! Tug leash upwards and a stern Sit! Guide with hand to buttock pushing downwards.

Keep doing it consistently until the command goes through to his head. When it does it's your turn to go nuts and praise him silly and give good treats.

He will learn that mummy wants him to be calm in such situation in future.

I only allow Mack to sniff at other dogs if their owners hold the leash taut as well, and only nose to nose. You'll never know when the other dog will snap.

After sniffing for a good while and no lunges from either one, only will we relax the leashes.

I believe you have sent him for obedience training, and he's doing well on it. Use that to keep him in line. Obedience is not only for class time 

I've had friends who have dogs too who keep saying why is my dog so well behaved. I just tell them, use time and obedience training and keep training every minute of the day and they will be fine.

Treats and praises for good behaviour. Even looking/focusing at you when his name is called is a good behaviour. All deserve praises to let him know it's good.

A dog will feed off your dissapointment. So be happy with his good traits, and work on his bad.. GOOD LUCK!!


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## Locket (Jun 21, 2009)

I would stick to positive reinforcement training only, and NO strange dog interactions.

Matrix is/was fear aggressive with other dogs and what helped us the most was getting his attention on ME. 
In the beginning, on every walk, I fed him treats non-stop. Then I introduced the "Look" command. Instead of feeding him treats directly, I would drop on on the ground, point to it, say "look" and then let him get it. After he had a solid "look" command, I worked on the "watch me", where I would get his attention on me, treat him. I increased the length of time he focused on me before treating. 


The goal is to distract him and break his "bad" focus (on dogs, cars, whatever) and get him on a "good" focus (you, a toy, a treat, etc.). When you are able to break that intense "bad" focus, a lot of the crazy barking, lounging, frustrating behaviours will dissipate. 

Best of luck with him. It is so hard when things do not go as planned, but you have a great dog that CAN be helped.


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## Sawyersmomma (May 28, 2012)

So good news! Today when I was biking with him, the neighbours accidentally had 2 dogs loose and they went to chase Sawyer... He just looked at them!!! No growling, no running away or pulling to see them! I just gave a gentle tug and off we went again! 
Still not perfect but a heck of a lot better than before! Now if only I can get it to work for cars...


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## CT Girl (Nov 17, 2010)

That is wonderful news. You are making wonderful progress and it can be done. There was a very reactive GSD in my rec. agility class. By very reactive very scary barking and growling and lunging - I swear he was out to eat Swizzle I body blocked him or who knows what would have happened. The instructor separated him. Fast forward a few weeks and I saw the dog was going to be in class. I warned the others (I did not want someone hurt) and while no one can get too close there has been a remarkable improvement. I told the owner what a fantastic job she was doing - the proof was in the amazing progress. Although the dog had issues he wasn't doing the Cujo growl, lunge bark and was able to participate in class without being segregated. You too have made fantastic progress. I bet with continued work no one would ever have guessed he was once reactive. You are doing all the right things and it is great to see them beginning to pay off - well done!


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## Sawyersmomma (May 28, 2012)

Thanks! Yes, he seems to be making good progress!


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## fjm (Jun 4, 2010)

I'm so pleased to hear things are going better - sometimes it is darkest just before he dawn!


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