# Having trouble "reading" dog's expressions, pup doesn't care if he gets petted?



## MaizieFrosty (Apr 12, 2019)

I'll make some videos for you!


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## PeggyTheParti (Sep 5, 2019)

Can you share a picture of your pup?


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## Dechi (Aug 22, 2015)

Some dogs don’t enjoy petting so much. Beckie doesn’t like having her head touched in a certain way, even by me.

If you sit down on the floor, will your dog come to you ? If you pet him, then stop, does he come closer or stay away ? If he comes closer, he wants be petted some more. If he’s staying away, he doesn’t really care for it.

Try it a few times. Bend down, move your hand towards your dog but let him do the last few inches. Don’t call him, just look happy to see him. Does he come on his own close to your hand ?

Watch this short video, it’s really good. https://youtu.be/-cGDYI-s-cQ


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## Ashirah (Apr 3, 2019)

Dechi said:


> Watch this short video, it’s really good. https://youtu.be/-cGDYI-s-cQ


Thanks,Dechi. Very good video and I had my kids watch it, too. So based on this my dog never wants to be petted, ever. 

Does anyone else have a dog that never wants to be petted? Kind of a bummer. Do I just relate to him through training, walks, playing tug which he really likes, but we don't pet him? How do you think I should interpret that he always eagerly wants to greet people and to sit in our laps? Hopefully that is a sign that he wants to be near us, just does not want hands on him. Is sitting in laps ever a sign of dominance and not affection? I feel like I've read both things about it.


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## Mfmst (Jun 18, 2014)

Buck was not a big cuddle bug until he was spayed. He prefers not to be patted on the top of his head, prefers a chin scratch or a cheek pat. I think if your dog wants to be in your lap, you just need to find the right spots


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## Getting ready (May 4, 2019)

Our trainer sent us a bunch of links about this subject. I'll find the email and PM you. 

Noodle has gone through stages where he has not been into petting and times when he loves it. I think we messed up by using a particular groomer. She did a beautiful job but he came back growly and skittish for a while. We have been working with him a lot on handling since then. I mention this because your guy is rescue and he might have had some tough experiences. 

Noodle does like to be petted and cuddled now though we do have force ourselves to stop before he has had too much. I know you've got a lot of anxiety about your pup right now. I hope you find a home or solutions soon.


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## For Want of Poodle (Feb 25, 2019)

I consider lap sitting a sign of affection and comfort. Yay for you,she is bonding 

If petting is important to you, I have had some success with teaching a childhood cat and a roommates dog to like it. I vaguely followed an SPCA guide for cats, I think? 

First ... Avoid petting the dog at all. Yes,I know,it's hard, but he doesn't like it anyways (for now)

Pet once, treat.pet again, treat. Stop after a few, while the dog still wants more (treats,not pets, for now)

Most dogs like their chest and the underside of their chin/ears scratched gently. Avoid the top of the head and back. That spot on the butt might work too.

When the dog is comfortable with this, maybe two pets, then a treat and leave him wanting more. Eventually he might follow you for that treat, if it's really good, and ask for more petting. Pet, treat, reward. Maybe try continuously letting him lick something as you pet like cheese whiz or peanut butter. Happiness about petting eventually becomes a conditioned response. 

Anyway, our cat is still not the most affectionate animal in the world, but she now actively seeks out petting and enjoys the feeling. She LOVES being rubbed by people's feet. My roommates very aloof Airedale also started to like my chin scratches (even without the treats). I did still try to always leave them wanting more! 

If he isn't food motivated,maybe try his toy? With him in your lap pet gently as he plays,then stop and take toy away, pet once, then give toy again? Depends on his mood. Contemplative chewing is good petting time, "i'm gonna kill the toy!" Isn't really.

You may already be doing this, but for very little dogs, I think it is also important to think about consent when it comes to moving them about. Try to ask before you pick then up, to warn them, and try to use words to move them about rather than just manhandling. Using a cue - I use "Ready? Up!". Or "move ! " Or "off!". Eventually he might start 'helping you' by lifting himself. Or going away if he doesn't want up at that moment. My dad used to tell me.... " Put that dog down! It has 4 legs!" Annoying but, yeah, he was right. Little dogs are way happier when treated like DOGS.


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## Dechi (Aug 22, 2015)

I think wanting to be on your lap is a great sign of trust and affection. Forget about dominance, it has nothing to do with it.

Your dog is still a puppy and it can learn to like petting. Or not. He will mature and his preference may change, but you need to respect his wishes. Over time, you will probably meet half way : he will learn to accept and even like it and you will have decreased the petting.

The treating idea is a good one. You might also ask for a trainer’s help. Do it while he’s still young. Don’t give up. Sometimes the dogs who give us more challenge make the best companions !


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## Johanna (Jun 21, 2017)

Many, if not most, dogs are not fond of being petted on their heads. Try scratching the rump in front of the tail - that's a favorite place. The chest in front of the fore legs is another place most dogs like to be scratched. Notice I say "scratched" - hardly any dog - or horse - likes to be patted, they prefer to be rubbed or stroked or scratched. That applies to people, too. Do you like to have your head patted?


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## Rose n Poos (Sep 22, 2017)

Reading this thread made me realize that I almost never pet my boys. They became cuddlers and lap pups probably around 6 months or so.

Instead of petting, I keep a pin brush and comb on my end table and when I sit down at night, I find I usually have one or both boys draped on my lap. So long as they're there, I pick up the brush or comb and stroke thru their fur. Net effect to me is the same as petting, plus, they stay mat free .


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## bluegirl1997 (Aug 10, 2019)

My poodles love being petted sometimes, but they're quite clear in when they are not in the mood by dodging the petter's hand. However they love being petted at some point every day, leaning into us and half shutting their eyes, and utilizing the reminder paw if we stop. Also they love being groomed and lean into me, totally relaxed. But I've had other dogs (collies) who didn't seem to enjoy being petted, or rarely. They loved being spoken to though

Sent from my VOG-L04 using Tapatalk


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## PeggyTheParti (Sep 5, 2019)

Wow! That video taught me a LOT, Dechi! Thank you!

It's not that I didn't know those signals. It's more that I've intentionally ignored them in the past because *I* was craving contact and enjoying giving affection and chose to interpret tolerance as acceptance.

I'm guilty of sometimes putting my needs before my dog's needs, and sure it's mostly harmless, but not when it causes them discomfort or pushes them to behave in ways they then get scolded for. Not fair at all.

I know some people object to Cesar Millan's techniques, but one of the most invaluable things I learned in his first book, Cesar's Way, is that, culturally, in the United States we tend to use our dogs as emotional crutches. We come home at the end of a stressful day and want to treat them like teddy bears. This video gives a very practical illustration of how those interactions might play out.

Thanks again!!


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## Ashirah (Apr 3, 2019)

Yes, I have not been petting him on the head but doing exactly what you described above. He usually likes a quick rump scratch, but only very rarely seems to want a chest/shoulder/under-the-neck scratch.


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## Ashirah (Apr 3, 2019)

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Johanna said:


> Many, if not most, dogs are not fond of being petted on their heads. Try scratching the rump in front of the tail - that's a favorite place. The chest in front of the fore legs is another place most dogs like to be scratched. Notice I say "scratched" - hardly any dog - or horse - likes to be patted, they prefer to be rubbed or stroked or scratched. That applies to people, too. Do you like to have your head patted?


Yes, I have not been petting him on the head but doing exactly what you described above. He usually likes a quick rump scratch, but only first thing in the morning for a few seconds does he like the chest/under-the-neck scratch. It is super helpful reading that other people on here have dogs that don't want petting much. Thanks. Otherwise I end up thinking it is something weird about my dog!


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